Me: *strapped To A Chair In A Cold Interrogation Room With A Middle Aged Man Pacing Back And Forth*

Freak yeah. When I get my fanfics out there… 😁😬

reblog if you’re okay with people writing fanfics of your fanfics and/or fanfics inspired by your fanfics

Thorin at the height of the dragon sickness dressing Bilbo in the finest of clothes and jewls. That's it, that's the prompt

yes.

"This is ridiculous..." Muttered Bilbo as he examined himself in a dusty, near broke mirror, running his fingers over the cold feel of Mithril that weighed his chest. He wasn't sure what to make of it, in all honesty; Thorin's 'token of friendship' had very well dazed him. In the truth of those words, he pondered if he'd misread Thorin's acts of kindness and that of possible affection to be more than friendship. He wasn't suited for a king after all, he was... well, a Baggins of Bag End! Nothing more to it; Yet Mithril stared back at him with a different story.

Bilbo slumped down to his bed, in the private chambers Thorin gave him, well---insisted he must have. He didn't recall anyone else in the company talking of their own room, now that he thought of it. He rubbed his weary eyes and sighed, tapping a foot repeatedly against the stone floor. Thorin was not himself, that had become clear, so did this gift of fondness come from a darker place, or had it truly been from the dwarf's heart? Bilbo smacked a hand to his face in unknowing frustration. Why did dwarves have to be so cryptic?

The knock of his door startled him up. "Ah---yes, come in!" He cleared his throat and grabbed for his over coat, fussing to get it on and praying to whatever sort of spirits roamed the halls that it was not Thorin for a multitude of reasons. He felt the heavy bulk of the Arkenstone move in his pocket that made him feel queasy.

Lucky him, it was Balin. "Sorry to bother you laddie." He said kindly, though his smile sunk down soon after as if he were to deliver unsavory news. "Thorin wishes to see you."

Bilbo's heart jumped to be at least twice as fast then; had he finally found out he had been keeping the Arkenstone? Was he being removed from the company? He did do his duty, technically speaking... or perhaps Thorin had another reason to get rid of him. Balin's smile was the only thing to console him that it wasn't something horrid. "Er, what did he say he wanted me for, exactly?"

"Oh, not sure." Balin shook his head. "Something about dressing you, is what I heard."

"Dressing?" Bilbo could barely speak the word aloud, as it came with far too many connotations for his liking. "As in literal?"

"Suppose that's between you and him."

Suddenly Bilbo felt his face grow unimaginably hot. With a pat on the back that could only be read as 'good luck', Balin left his side. A few careful steps in a new corner of Erebor he had yet to see, he eyed Thorin's figure from afar, and as his hand went to reached for support on a nearby shelf, a parade of coins and goods fell to the floor with a loud clank. Bilbo winced, waiting for the noise to fully die down; well, maybe he was about to be hired as a jester.

"Master Baggins." Thorin called to him, his voice riddled with command as if it could be faltered by no one.

"Yes, right, ah---" Bilbo stepped over the mess he'd caused and made his way over more awkwardly than he should've. "Here. And Bilbo is fine, no need for all the... 'Master' business. I'd like to think we're on familiar enough terms." He went to fiddle around with his pockets, but drew back at the feel of the Arkenstone. He really needed a proper hiding place if being this close to Thorin was going to be a regular occurrence.

Thorin turned a shoulder to acknowledge the presence of Nori and Bofur, who were likely tending to another odd job, standing (not so subtly) to watch before quickly pretending they weren't doing so at all. "Leave us." Was all he said to make the two dwarves scatter out.

"So," Bilbo started, patting at his sides, trying to make little eye contact. "Balin said you, er... wanted to dress... me." His heart picked up again.

With a silent nod Thorin lifted a hefty crown clad in solid gold from a table that held many treasures. The crown was embedded with shining dark blue gems, and out of it was the figure of a great raven. "If you are to be at a kings side," He stepped forward and held the crown high, placing it a-top the hobbit's head. "Then you should look the part."

"Thorin I---I can't wear this," Bilbo chuckled, holding to the crown that was a bit too large for him. "I'm not like you. I'm just... a hobbit. Far from dwarven royalty." He lifted his shoulders to shrug.

"You are more than you credit yourself to be." Said Thorin, as he then brought near an elegant robe much to his own, lined with fur and detailed embroidery. "Take off that odious coat the men of the Lake swayed you in; you need not wear its burden."

Bilbo had little excuses left to argue with that, though he did suppose he could use a decent change of clothing after rolling away from a displeased dragon. He slipped the weight off his arms, holding it to his chest as he grew in search for a place to keep it. He hastily placed it on an empty stool, and the aches of the Arkenstone tugged at him. He could be at ease if you gave it to him, maybe. His thoughts conflicted, till the sudden feel of Thorin's hands brushing against his shoulders turned his mind elsewhere; he guided his arms through the robe, and over Mithril it lay, drowning him in wonderus riches.

"You hold beauty unlike any other." Thorin's hand lifted Bilbo's chin, directing his eyes to look upon a golden mirror that reflected their figures. "It deserves to be treasured, to be kept from the wrong gaze. When you stand by me no one will treat you lower ever again; they will see us as one, and flock to our command."

There Bilbo saw them, a possibility, a future, and there he fell to Thorin's words. He watched the hobbit that stared back at him, the crown above his head that promised a life loved by all---a great kingdom, and someone to share its bliss with. He then did not yearn for the comforts of Bag End; what had he left there? Was he to deny an offer most could only dream of, to return to a lonely hole in the ground for the rest of his days? He found it hard to imagine going back to a life missing what he'd grown so used to over the course of their journey, and that of Thorin's touch he did not wish to see go most.

Bilbo let his eyes fall shut, leaning back to the warmth of Thorin that made his heart sure of itself. "Would you truly take me?"

At that, Thorin scaled down Bilbo's arm, taking hold of his hand with gentle ease, looking to him through the mirror. "I would have you in this life and all those after."

thats my fat old man!!

context: @sexyman-contest-2025

imagine being éowyn in the lord of the rings trilogy. your uncle the king is being mind controlled by an evil wizard until said evil wizard's cooler version shows up and frees him. he is accompanied by an elf, a dwarf, and the hottest guy you've ever met. the hot guy also happens to be 87 years old and maybe still not over his immortal elf girlfriend but he respects and listens to you so you're shooting your shot. your geriatric hotguy situationship turns you down the night before the biggest battle ever then goes ghost hunting in the mountains. you decide to go to battle because you'll either help save your people or die in a really cool and honorable way. you then kill middle earth satan's number one henchman with the power of loophole and being a woman (you are also helped in doing this by a 4 foot tall stoner). then you get to marry faramir. 10/10 no notes my girl went through it all

Saved for later

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ⏖ ’ CANON FACTS ABOUT PIPPIN (idk if its "canon" or "cannon" but anyway-) according to the books !!

+ reblog if you have things to add, i probably missed some infos :3

splashes water absolutely everywhere when he takes a bath + likes to sing while he does so (fotr, book 1, chap. 5)

in lothlorien, the fellowship had to cross a very complicated bridge (i don't remember what it was exactly, i think it was made of ropes or smth). he was the only one of the hobbits who managed it very well because "he was sure-footed" (fotr, book 2, chap. 6)

when he was kidnapped with Merry, the orcs whipped them to make them run + a plan was hatched to make orcs believe they had the Ring (he was imitating Gollum) + he had been wounded at his arm + when they managed to escape from them, he was the one who made decisions etc, he was the most lucid (ttt, book 1, chap. 2)

when he and Merry first arrived in Fangorn, it reminded him of a place in Tuckborough, the "Took House", where "the furniture hadn't been moved for generations" (because it was very stuffy and dark). nothing in this place mentionned "changed in a century, when the Old Took died" (ttt, book 3, chap. 3)

when they traveled with Treebeard, he tried to count Ent's steps but quickly lost track (ttt, book 3, chap. 3)

his first impression of Theoden King was that he was a "good old man, very polite" (ttt, book 3, chap. 8)

when he saw Gandalf for the first time since his "death" in Fangorn, the first thing the wizard told him was "get up, you fool of a Took ! where is Treebard, for god's sake ? i need to see him, quick !" (ttt, book 3, chap. 9)

one of the reasons he wanted to look in the Palantir was that he was frustrated that Gandalf took it from him without telling him anything, whithout any explanations or informations, even though "he was the one who picked it up." he talks abt it with Merry just before he looks into it (ttt, book 3, chap. 11)

when he looked into the Palantir and "talked" with Sauron, he felt as if he was being "pierced with knives" (ttt, book 3, chap. 11)

at Minas Tirith, he spent most of his days with Beregond (a knight of Gondor) and his son Bergil (rotk, book 1, chap. 1)

his father cultivates some lands around Whitwell, its near Tuckborough (rotk, book 1, chap. 1)

in march he said he was "almost 29", then his bday is probably in april (rotk, book 1, chap. 1)

he's smaller than a 10yo boy (Bergil is 5' and he's around 4') lol (book 1, chap. 1)

he had been smashed by a troll during the battle of the black gate. its Gimli who saved him. he recovered only one week later (which is a bit odd. wdym a troll fell on him and one week later he walks around like nothing happens) (rotk, book 5, chap. 10 + book 6, chap. 4)

just after the war, at the Cormallen fields, him and Merry were serving the kings during the feast (rotk, book 6, chap. 4)

when the hobbits came back to the Shire, Saruman had taken possession of their lands so there was a war, and it was Merry and Pippin who fought the most and lead the others (rotk, book 6, chap. 8)

he lived for some years with Merry in Crickhollow. they were very, very popular bc of their swords and height and all (i can understand, they are sexy af), some called them of "royal" (rotk, book 6, chap. 9)

<3

PS : im sorry guys, my lotr books are in french, then all the quotes i wrote are note exactly the same as the original bc i translated it !!

kiss on ur hairy feet :3

If y’all have fic ideas for me, not even fic ideas just funny moments or angsty moments that I can add into any of my fics they would be greatly appreciated

As much as I like the Hobbit movies in their own right, I love the books a lot more.

So when I’m writing Legolas and Tauriel by choice into my fics, I have fun with it.

Cause screw ‘high and mighty awesome Legolas’ that’s not who he is, he’s a childish little twink who falls head over heels in love with a Dwarf.

I also like fixing his and Tauriel relationship. In my stories Legolas follows her around like a little duckling, he follows her lead when they’re outside the palace.

She’s fixing her bow in front of the fire while his heads in her lap, whining about how weird and overbearing his dad is. He’s glancing up at her whenever he’s talking to someone new, waiting for her nod of approval.

They are Exasperated Big Sister and Autistic Homeschooled Little Brother fr and I fw it.

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

THANK YOU!!! I needed this reassurance so bad, I’ll tell you why later 🤫🧏‍♀️

Sam calling out to Gollum asking him whether he would like to be the hero for a change feels tragic when you know what follows is a betrayal because for this one fraction of a moment, there was genuine friendliness from Sam's side towards Sméagol. For this one moment , Sméagol, the pathetic little creature who shunned the world and was shunned by it in return, belonged. Not to the hopelessness he had surrendered himself to long ago but with Frodo and Sam. And he wasn't there to witness it. He had made his choice. Kind of mirrors reality in a way. Not all those who wander are lost and, sometimes, even those who are lost can be found. Some are lucky enough to have that one helping hand extended to them which can pull them out of the abyss. Sadly, not everyone ends up noticing it and taking it every time.

YES EXACTLY 😂😂

But I also find the idea funny of the romance perceived in the movies is just Thranduil’s view, he deadass thinks his sons in love with Tauriel then he pops up with Gimli years later lmao

As much as I like the Hobbit movies in their own right, I love the books a lot more.

So when I’m writing Legolas and Tauriel by choice into my fics, I have fun with it.

Cause screw ‘high and mighty awesome Legolas’ that’s not who he is, he’s a childish little twink who falls head over heels in love with a Dwarf.

I also like fixing his and Tauriel relationship. In my stories Legolas follows her around like a little duckling, he follows her lead when they’re outside the palace.

She’s fixing her bow in front of the fire while his heads in her lap, whining about how weird and overbearing his dad is. He’s glancing up at her whenever he’s talking to someone new, waiting for her nod of approval.

They are Exasperated Big Sister and Autistic Homeschooled Little Brother fr and I fw it.