PSA:

Just a reminder that you are NOT responsible for anyone's happiness !!!!

It's good to be there for your friends, but you matter too. Don't push yourself too hard, okay? Your health is important.

Remember to take care of yourselves too !!!

:/ and being reduced to fangirls/fanboys...

I like how most posts about being in love with a fictional character are made as a joke, and then there’s us in the corner like “lol… no, but actually though.”

-Admin Eevee

Hey real quick: kintypes are you.

If you have a kinlist with a lot of kintypes that you relate to or you connect to rather than those things being you, then you may want to look into otherhearted/fictionhearted or synpaths. 

Another quick note: being otherhearted is not “lesser otherkin”. It’s just a different experience that some people have and can be as important in a person as a kintype. 

When you start out a day and you think "I might not get much done today" please know that this is ok. Just surviving the day is a tremendous accomplishment and is always good enough.

@ the creators of my f/o’s media when they kill them off

sorry if this has been answered in the past, I looked around for a bit but wasn't able to find an answer. Idk exactly how to word this...how does one exactly spend time with a fictional character/have a relationship? I hope that doesn't sound rude, I'm questioning fictoromantic and wondering how I would actually have a relationship with a character.

hey! moon here. it’s fine, we haven’t been asked before, and repeat questions aren’t the end of the world anyway. don’t worry about your tone, either! there’s no rudeness in just wanting to understand.

as for the actual content of your question, it’s a bit different for everyone. i consider myself committed to my f/o in the same way one would be committed to a real person. in my own relationship, there are a few things i do that address your curiosity and that qualify it in my mind as a relationship in the truly binding sense, aside from just a general feeling of affection and devotion. it’s a bit long and your mileage will almost certainly vary with this, since this sort of thing varies from relationship to relationship and i can only really describe my own feelings and practices. it’s all discussed under the cut.

Keep reading

Shoutout to the self shippers with underrated, underappreciated, or down right HATED f/os. May the spite of the fandom never hinder your love. ❤❤❤

hey! it’s been a while since i’ve written any resource posts, and this is a little more of a positivity post than a resource, but hopefully it will be helpful.

i’ve seen a lot of selfshippers/fictos talking about why and when these practices are acceptable and when they “cross the line.” in my opinion, i think some of these statements can create an uncomfortable or even implicitly hostile environment for certain mentally ill selfshippers and fictos, as well as reinforce ideas the community is trying to fight. these statements, even given various nuances, boil down to a few core ideas a number of people in the community seem to hold. the idea seems to be that “selfship is OK because it is just for fun/a coping mechanism, and selfshippers can still date in real life. because selfship is just for fun/a coping mechanism, taking it too seriously inherently means a loss of touch with reality, which is a personal fault.”

my greatest concern with this has been that it is potentially rather dismissive of the feelings of mentally ill selfshippers who experience psychosis. such people DO have a loss of touch with reality, through no fault of their own - and for many, this is something they cannot “fix,” even with medication or therapy. if one’s psychosis influences them to believe in or experience something that isn’t objectively real, but this belief or experience does not cause them distress or even improves their quality of life, it is not the responsibility of individuals without the condition to denigrate their experiences or urge them to “fix” their psychosis. in a community which is vocally supportive of mentally ill people, it is the responsibility of the members of that community to support the experiences of all mentally ill people. selfshippers and fictos with psychotic conditions are just as valid in their feelings as any of the rest of us, even if their conditions cause them to experience their f/os in a way we do not.

in addition, it isn’t fair to assert that selfship is okay because it’s “just” a coping mechanism, “just” for fun, or because all fictos/selfshippers prefer (and will abandon the practice for) a “real partner.” if it improves one’s quality of life and harms no one, there is no need for further justification, regardless of whether or not it fits with what outsiders consider “normal.” selfship (and fictosexuality) is not only okay when it’s easy to justify to outsiders. appealing to standards of “normalcy” only creates acceptable targets - “we are okay because we are normal, but those people who disagree with us are not normal, and therefore not okay.” that, ironically enough, is the exact logic on which “cringe culture” operates. you do not have to be “normal” to be worthy of respect and understanding, ever.

please be open to respecting experiences you may not understand, particularly for those whose experiences are already highly stigmatized. to all the “weird” selfshippers and fictos - those of you with psychosis, those of you who take it “too seriously,” those of you who never want a real life partner - you are just fine the way you are, and you don’t need to change for anyone. as long as you’re happy and your selfships/ficto relationships make you happy, you have nothing to worry about and no one here to answer to. live your life according to your own needs and standards.

What is up y’all; Happy New Year! I would like to make this message towards all the people in the OC/SI (self-insert) x Canon communities who are just starting out and/or still young, and spread some positivity and words of welcome.

Now I know y’all have been hearing stuff like ‘how you gotta not make a Mary Sue and make sure run your OC through the Mary Sue Litmus Test’ and let me tell you right now? Those Litmus Tests are straight-up garbage and the scoring system on them is so jittery that if you mention your OC is intended to be a romantic interest, it gives you a massive amount of points against you. So don’t even bother with those tests since all they do is cow you into making a really bland character.

Also, the term ‘Mary Sue’ was coined by a woman named Paula Smith who didn’t like the idea of women having power fantasies and was also responsible for that 1970s fanfic ‘A Trekkie’s Tale’, which was a parody of a self-insert fic. Nowadays it seems to mean ‘literally any female OC put into a canon setting and/or is the romantic interest of a canon character’, even if they’re more on the ‘ordinary’ side. (Heck, look at Bella Swan— she’s intended to be really plain yet people still treat her as a Mary Sue.) Speaking of which…

If your OC has any special abilities, or has an unusual hair or eye color (such as pink or purple), that does not make them a Mary Sue. If your OC has knowledge of other languages, is good with animals, or excels in a particular subject (which are both things humans are capable of as well), that does not make them a Mary Sue. If your OC has a really dark backstory or has had tragedy happen to them, that does not make them a Mary Sue. If your OC does something awesome such as save a life or defeat a villain, that does not make them a Mary Sue. Do not let people make you think any of these things qualify your OC as a Mary Sue. All OCs, regardless of appearance, ability, or backstory, are valid.

Now then, shifting the gears a bit, if people try to argue the existence of ‘Gary Stu/Marty Stu’ and try to hold male OCs to those same standards? You might as well be calling hundreds of male canon characters ‘Gary Stus’ because there’s quite a lot of them that fit the above criteria. So in the end it’s pointless to try and spin that.

Finally, a reminder to people who think it’s ‘acceptable’ to pick on OCs they decide are ‘Mary Sues’… you are wasting your time, you’re bad people, and you need to reevaluate your life. The days of ‘Mary Sue Witch Hunts’ are LONG over— though, such things shouldn’t even have had to exist. Remember those days; when content creators were terrified of making ANYTHING because people were so obsessed with snuffing out Mary Sues? Do you really want to bring those days back? (And if anybody thinks ‘yes’, thank you for letting me know the type of people who should really be pushed out of fandom.) And if you think that sending hate messages, making hate art, and even going so far as doxxing people who do this stuff is acceptable? (Yes, that last thing has happened at least once.) Please, do the entire community a favor and unplug your router, cancel your internet plan, and never show your face again.

Not to mention, a lot of the people making these ‘Mary Sues’ are tween-to-mid-teen girls who just innocently make fun stuff for a fandom, have a favorite character they fell in love with, and want to fit in. If you really think Mary Sue witch hunts should be brought back, you’re basically supporting the idea of driving people nearly half your age away. If anything, young fans who make OC/SI x Canon content should be welcomed in, given a safe space they can spread their content, and encouraged to make more. They deserve recognition just as much as older, more experienced content creators do.

Now with all that in mind, let’s make the OC/SI x Canon community a safe, welcoming place for content creators of all ages, call out the Mary Sue witch hunters, and just generally have fun!

adults, while forcing all children above the age of 5 to sit still, be silent, and obey orders for 7-8 hours a day with minimal breaks, reducing their exposure to fresh air and sunlight to almost nothing, forcing them to alter their natural sleeping patterns to increase productivity, and repeatedly telling them their self worth depends on their being able to follow these instructions perfectly for 13 or more years: kids these days are so lazy! they never go outside! they never want to do anything! clearly it’s not because of us!