About Those Types Misconceptions

INFP: They’re fierce - INFPs often remain silent and are very observant of other people and what makes them who they are, but this apparent softness hides a very passionate drive to do what is right, and if ever a situation or a person does not align with their principles, you will definitely know about it - do not underestimate them.

ENFP: They’re very analytical - Yes ENFPs can seem a little crazy and like they’re constantly fooling around, but it is to be remembered that this type is extremely perceptive of their environment and of ideas, that they dissect carefully and draw conclusions from. They have true depth, and labelling them as shallow would be a big mistake.

INFJ: They’re quite independent - It may sound strange but INFJs are quite independent. They strive to help people to be better individuals and to make the world a nicer place, but they follow their own rules and will not hesitate long to react if you go against them. Harmony is their priority, but don’t you cross them. The difference with INFP is that INFPs will simply see this other person who does not conform to their vision as not really worth their time, INFJs on the other hand trying to change this person’s mind-set for a kinder approach, etc.

ENFJ: They struggle - ENFJs are probably the most disorganised of all J-types, and they take on sometimes way more than they can carry. Even if these guys try to help people as much they can, sometimes it isn’t enough and that can go against them. The bubbly stereotype does not apply to all ENFJs unfortunately, since they can get depressed easily, and thereby stop their advising functions.

INTP: They really care - INTPs can sometimes seem off and uninterested, but this most-likely comes from a system of self-defence to prevent them from harm, as they may have been previously neglected for their ideas or conceptions of the world, and have been misunderstood. If an INTP likes and cares for you, there is nothing they would not do, and their aloofness is not to be taken as pride or smugness (although sometimes they like to be ;) and they genuinely care.

ENTP: They’re just feeling half the time - ENTPs are absolutely mind-blowing master concealers. Their emotions get triggered by the littlest things, and they spend a lot of their time, if not almost all of it, concealing what they perceive as weaknesses under fair amounts of witty comebacks and confidence. These people are actually great empaths, but their chosen priority being logic, they often toss those feelings away for later, and often avoid them until it’s too late.

INTJ: They have feelings - Similar to ENTP, except INTJs truly master their emotions, and manage to chanel them instead of shutting them away. INTJs have a good deal of feelings, except they don’t necessarily feel the need to talk about them, and prefer rational advice when considering their emotional needs, which is seldom given. INTJs openly reject the myth that they lack feelings, and may feel even more misunderstood when they have the impression that they are expressing them, as sometimes they do, but in ways most people don’t perceive because they are seemingly so small, which can be hurtful.

ENTJ: They’re understanding - I’ve said this already, I’m always quite awed by ENTJs, but once you get to know them, they are truly open people. More than once have I heard them give relationship advice, and try to help people understand concepts with detailed explanations and diagrams, they strive for a more efficient and knowledgeable world, which can be seen through a sometimes devoted attitude.

ISFP: They’re not always kind to themselves - ISFPs may appear as charismatic, different, inspired and like they like themselves quite a bit (and that is absolutely great) but sometimes, when their creativity lets them down for example, they have the impression that they are now devoid of their identity, and may feel lost, and even over-criticize themselves. They need to be understood and comforted in their unicity and worth, almost as if they possessed Fe but not quite.

ISTP: They can feel quite lonely - ISTPs love peace and quiet and alone time, but sometimes loneliness can become quite painful. Composing only 2% of the overall population, ISTPs often feel like few if any people actually understand them, and that it may be easier just to crawl back onto themselves and create a shell to self-sustain instead of socialising and creating bonds with people.

ESFP: They’re nostalgic - Living in the moment is often a way for ESFPs to have peace of mind, as their brains are involved elsewhere. Their need for company and action is their way of escaping their responsibilities, that remind them once again that they’re adults or growing into adults now, and that means, for them, that fun is almost over and that they’re going to turn into “boring people”, or be coerced into becoming “normal people”, which their Fi has difficulty dealing with.

ESTP: They value your opinion greatly - ESTPs have strong views on many subjects and they are also very passionate individuals, but boy do they need to be validated. It’s not a bad thing, of course, it’s simply a little surprising (although it shouldn’t be) that someone under appearances so outgoing and frank and sometimes even careless may need approval that what they are doing is good, and that they are accepted.

ISFJ: They’re strong - ISFJs may constantly be trying to please everybody and adhere to everything, but deep down, they know who they are. They know what they like, what they dislike, what they are willing to tolerate, and what they are not. They are capable of enduring so much without ever complaining, and are truly inspiring people, who can talk about anything they set their mind to.

ESFJ: They’re insecure - Organisation and procedure are the ways in which ESFJs try to live by, but it can also truly hide a very anxious nature. Planning is what ESFJs do to prevent lack of resources and preparing ahead to survive is a way in which ESFJs feel that they are under control. Their bubbly nature shows their need to be loved and feel like they have worth. Don’t rely too much on them, although they really want to carry your load with, or even for, you.

ISTJ: They feel misunderstood - Nobody is as organised, structured and rigorous as ISTJs, and the world’ s messiness can be quite overwhelming to them sometimes. That feeling that they’re the only ones holding it all together and getting everything done for everyone can make them feel like they’re being used or that people don’t appreciate them for their true worth, for what they are deep down.

ESTJ: They doubt a lot - ESTJs may appear very confident and they may be your bosses most of the time because they’re great administrators with a plan based on sound facts, but the truth is ESTJs are almost constantly questioning if they’re doing the right thing, and the fear of failure is very much present.

How to EASILY overcome Daydream Crash…

So I was just experiencing daydream crash a couple days ago, and I realized some things that actually made me feel comforted.

This will be a list of ways to get over daydream crash.

1.) If you have a large stuffed animal (small works too I guess), just hold it like you’re holding your para.

The reason I thought of this was because I have this stuffed bunny that I named after my para Nesset, and this stuffed platypus that I named after Ellen. And when I hug them, it makes me think that I’m actually hugging my para’s. I don’t know if it’ll work for any of you, but it helped me when I was curled in a ball covered in tears haha. I just felt better I guess. Not to mention I always have to sleep with these stuffed animals, and since they’re about medium-sized, it makes me feel like my para’s are right next to me.

2.) Listening to music.

Now I’m not just talking about any kind of music. I’m talking about songs that would normally bring joy to your para’s. Or a song that made you extremely happy about a daydream you had. I know daydream crash is where you realize this stuff isn’t real and it can never be real, but if you think about it, you want the best for your para’s, and if anything, I’m sure all of your para’s want the best for you. They wouldn’t want to see you upset. So maybe listening to one of their favorite songs will make you happier because you know how happy it makes your para’s. Just because they aren’t real, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about your emotions.

3.) Listen to your para’s sing!

This one is kind of related to the last tip. But its kind of different. If you saw my post about how I give my para’s a famous singers voice, you should understand what I’m talking about here. If you don’t, I’ll explain. I have certain bands/singers that I listen to for comfort when I’m experiencing daydream crash. But the reason I listen to just a couple specific bands/singers is because I use those voices as my escape. Since I use Tossing Copper, and I The Mighty as Ellen’s voice claim. I picture Ellen singing those songs to me. And its extremely comforting because their voices are amazing, and mellow (mellow depending on the song). And if you have a para that has a voicelcaim. Use that band/singer as your escape! Like I said, its basically like your para is singing to you. Its the most comforting feeling ever I swear!

4.) The Multi Universe Theory!!

If you haven’t heard of the Multi Universe theory, I strongly suggest and highly recommend that you look it up!!

If you’re lazy and don’t want to, then I’ll explain! Basically what it is is scientists have studied that there may be more than just this universe. Because the universe goes so far out into nothing basically, obviously it has to lead to something. So if you think about it, these dreamverses that we have, these para’s that we have, they could possibly be real! Not to mention studies showed that “more likely than not” there are DEFINITELY more universes out there. If this doesn’t help you with your crash, I don’t know what will. I was super relieved when I heard about it.

The only question is how do we get there? They haven’t figured that out yet, but it was confirmed that they could most likely exist.

I really hope this helped some of you guys who have gone/are going through daydream crash! If you need to talk, I’m always willing to listen!

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

I had an epiphany

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

type preferences vs dynamics and why your f/o loves you!

i’ve been thinking this over a little, and it’s something i’ve seen people say now and again - “i’m not my f/o’s type, so they’d never spare me a glance.” i’m here to shatter that thought with a sledgehammer by introducing a much more nuanced way to look at relationships.

this post has been made before, in short, by someone else on this site - the basic concept that dynamics are more important than one’s “type” isn’t something i came up with entirely independently, nor is the phrasing of type versus dynamic. however, i don’t remember where to find the original post! if i come across it, i will be sure to link it here.

more information is, as always, under the cut!

Keep reading

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

Dusk in True Stories (1986)

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

*opens a can of Sprite*

Here’s to all the self shippers who have F/O’s-platonical, familial or romantic-who got done dirty and fucked over by their creators.

May we all treat our F/O’s a billion times better then their own pathetic excuse of creators

what community is right for you?

hello! i thought this might be a good place to get started for resources. in my experience there are three large communities oriented toward a love of fictional characters, but it’s hard to tell where you might fit in best without more information. some people may fit in all three, and some may be drawn to only one.

the three communities i’m referring to are the selfship, fictoromantic/fictosexual and waifuist communities. they’ve all got their own internal sets of values and community culture. i’ve been involved in all three, so here’s what i’ve learned! this post will be updated with corrections as necessary.

selfshippers comprise a huge amount of those in relationships with fictional characters. the selfship community is very large, with the greatest portion of its presence on tumblr and deviantart. however, you’ll find selfshippers on many social media platforms.

selfship culture is a very nebulous thing because of the size of the selfship community. in general, selfshippers tend to treat their fictional relationships as media ships, and it varies from person to person AND ship to ship how serious any given commitment is. there are a good deal of minors in the community, as well as adults in their early and mid twenties. people older than that seem to be drawn to other communities, but obviously exceptions abound. there aren’t rules against polyamory.

fictoromantic/fictosexual communities are very different. in my experience the fict community is smaller and comprised of more adults, many over 25. fict communities usually treat these affections as an orientation rather than a lifestyle choice, in contrast to the other communities listed here. it seems many terms are shared with the selfship community (such as “fictional other”) but not always other things. ficts tend to be more serious about relationships to fictional characters, but that seriousness still varies from person to person, as there isn’t one accepted relationship model. there aren’t rules against polyamory, but some ficts do take offense to adults being interested in minor-age characters. the fict community is probably the smallest of the three, or at least has a very small tumblr presence.

waifuism is a little like selfship in that multiple people who consider themselves waifuists will inevitably disagree on a great deal. there are rules, and in my time i found rules are a very large part of any waifuist’s community experience, but they vary according to what community you’re in. because waifuism is usually perceived as a branch of anime culture, it tends to be pretty different from selfship OR fict communities. there are nearly no shared terms. attitudes about “3D” people range wildly, but such attitudes are generally a fair amount of discussion. the largest social media presences for waifuism are on reddit and on 4chan type boards. i only have experience with the two largest subreddits. polyamory is hotly debated here, as are many rules. depending on what particular community you’re in, people may be committed to the point of IRL celibacy or simply joking about a favorite character.

there’s certainly a lot going on when it comes to how people express their love and how they form communities. i’ve been deeply involved in these communities for about a year and a half, and i still get things wrong, so feel free to tell me about anything i should add or correct here. thanks for reading, and i hope it’s a helpful post!

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

Anyone else only in their 20s but feel like they are running out of time to get their life together??