What Do You Mean I Can’t Make Two Fictional Men Kiss. What Do You Mean I Have To “go To Work” And

i dont really like ultrakill that much but can someone tell me at what point in the game does v1 and gabriel have sloppy on-screen make out sessions so i can play up to that point and not play the rest please and thank you

if war soldier ena theory, then genie perchance resembles the glorified promises of war/the nationalist dream? because the genie offers to grant wishes and despite ena’s “sins” (crimes committed in war) she offers a wish to ena anyways, but per capitalism of course ena can’t get money/happiness/not even punishment for her crimes or transgressions because in the eyes of society she just did her job, and all she can do with the payment for it (the wish) is to further the way the society is headed (get rid of the smoke to complete “find boss” job)

do you guys think. maybe just a little. that gabriel does the tiniest bit of bird stuff? just a little?

maybe old riches catch his eye a little more than they should. maybe his wings puff up right before a battle, or when he’s mad, or when he’s scared. maybe, despite all their angelic glory, they need help being preened (maybe his wings look a little ratty? new fic idea!). does he avoid rain? try to clean off gore in puddles?

it’s probably just me wanting to take this big scary thing[tm] and slather it in hcs. but it’s also just a thought. for now… heheheh…

write my essay on government policy. or write ultrakill fanfiction. decisions, decisions

Me if I were a rambunctious mobile phone

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! WHAT GHE FUCK AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!!

going to be thinking about those gay little robots while i work. i hope they explode. going to microwave them when i get home.

"cool character I guess..." I mutter, walking away with a suspiciously character shaped lump in my throat

ouuhhhbgbhf. inneed to make them kiss

fighting homoerotically isn’t enough. i need them to embrace at the end of battle, metal fingers digging into flesh wounds, bodies slotted together to make sure the blood doesn’t go to waste.

that or drawing them over some crazy youtube thumbnails.