Genuinelysurpriseditsbutter

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

Shadowed Heart/Winter Souls (Chapter Twenty-Three)

MASTERLIST

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“Signore Carbonell Stark.” The butler waved the footman away and opened the carriage door himself, bowing at the waist to offer a polite, “Welcome home to Italia, how was your journey?”

“Tiresome, thank you.” Tony smiled at the man, grateful he had been willing to travel from the Stark estate in Brescia to meet the carriage here at the home in the hills behind Chioggia. “It’s good to see you, Jarvis.”

“E ‘bello vederti, Antonio.” Jarvis broke into a smile and clapped Tony’s shoulder lightly, all the worry lines accumulated in the last year of hearing nothing from the young master washing away in mere seconds. “It is good to see you as well.” 

Tony turned back to the carriage and held out his hand for Natalia. “This is my wife, the Lady Natalia Romanova-Stark. And our ward–” he tugged Natalia to the side and held out his hand for Wanda as she departed the carriage as well. “Signorina Wanda Maximoff, and her brother, Pietro Maximoff.”

“Welcome.” Jarvis bent low over Natalia’s hand to kiss her knuckles, and offered the same treatment to Wanda. “Benvenuta. I am most pleased to meet you all.”

Pietro came down the stairs stiffly, painfully, and Jarvis neatly side stepped the women to wrap his arm around Pietro’s waist and help him to the ground, not so much as blinking at the sight of bandages that covered most of Pietro’s head, or the gauze on his fingers and up along most of his arm.

“Be very careful, Signore Pietro Maximoff.” Jarvis said lightly. “I would be very disappointed if you spilt blood on my beautiful stone path, I finished scrubbing them this morning.”

Pietro blinked his one uncovered eye at Jarvis, and when the elderly butler only grinned, Pietro’s lips tugged up in a reluctant smile as well.

“What Jarvis means is that he found a local boy who wanted a few coins and was willing to scrub stones all day.” Tony informed them. “Since I am no longer home to cause mischief and earn my way into ridiculous chores as punishment, he has had to resort to hiring help for the more unpleasant cleaning.”

“Your butler made you do chores, Antonio?” Wanda wondered, hoisting her own small traveling bag and collecting Natalia’s as well. “And you obliged him?”

“Jarvis is much more than my butler.” Tony hooked Natalia’s hand through his arm, leaning into kiss her temple when she didn’t say anything. “He was my body guard, he kept me from trouble, drove me places when I was young, covered for my–” a quiet cough. “–indiscretions.”

“Taught the boy to hide love bites with a touch of powder and blush.” Jarvis continued, ignoring Tony’s embarrassed squawk and focusing instead of helping Pietro over the stones to the house. “Fixed clothing when Antonio ran off and got into a mess instead of sitting quietly in the parlor, ensured he could at least act the part of a nobleman even if he was truly a hellion. Taught him to handle a rifle, to assemble a pistol before famiglia Beretta took him into their work space.”

Jarvis sent Tony a smile over Pietro’s head. “Taught him to throw a punch, though he hasn’t used the knowledge near as often as I’d like.”

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I hate my curly hair so much I'll brush it for like an hour and itll he smooth as silk but in literally like one minute there's at least 10 knots wHY

ADFADGSFDGKSFG 

BECAUSE IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE BRUSHED!! 

STOP BRUSHING OUT CURLY HAIR 2k19!!!

I hate this, because almost no one knows it. No one tells kids with curly hair how to actually take care of their hair.

You can’t treat curly hair like straight hair and expect the same results! You can’t! It doesn’t work! Curly hair gets its own routine! 

Okay, look, here’s the deal.

Your curls are… curls. They are MEANT to go together into a GROUP. They are not like straight hair which just hands out in one big… thing. Curls have groups.

By BRUSHING it, you are splitting those good-curl groups into separate strands, which, on their own, are STILL trying their goddamned best to curl, but now that they are away from their friends, they are only clinging haphazardly to each other as best as they can and creating tangles!

Here’s what brushed curly hair looks like:

Here’s what well-treated curly hair that has CURL-FRIENDS is supposed to look like (curl size may vary):

See how the curl is NOT only one strand of hair? It’s a whole group!

You know how you get those nice curls?

STOP BRUSHING.Give your curls back their curl-friends!

Okay, here’s the deal - you sit down. You look at this chart. Figure out your type of curl. (guesstimate)

And now you go to this website and you read about what curly hair actually needs to thrive, and you change your routine, and you promise me that you will NEVER disappoint your curls like that again!!!! 

Basics:

1) Curly hair is damaged by heat, lack of moisture, and sulfates in shampoo. 

 - No blowdrying - use a cotton towel or t-shirt to scrunch your hair and get extra moisture out, and allow to air-dry

 - Turn down the shower temp while washing hair. I mean it.

 - Try to find a better shampoo.

2) Curly hair NEEDS moisture, and it NEEDS leave-in conditioner.

 - Use lots of conditioner.

 - Use leave-in conditioner

 - Try to use water spray over chemical setting sprays. 

3) Curly hair does not need to be brushed, only combed with a wide-tooth comb.

 - Comb the hair through with your fingers while in the shower and detangle while you have conditioner in. 

 - Comb again with a wide-toothed comb after the shower if needed

 - If you need to, use a twist of some sort to keep hair out of the way, but don’t squeeze it too much - give it room to breathe!

More tips from smarter people probably exist but that’s the basic stuff.

PLEASE be nice to your curly hair.

This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

Stetsons and Schoolteachers (Two)

Welcome back! Some snarky times in this chapter. I love it. 

I tried to tag everyone who requested, remember if I am nice enough to tag you, be nice enough to drop a like and reblog, and a comment if you loved it. Remember, feed back feeds my writers soul! More feedback means faster chapters!

SAS MASTERLIST HERE

Enjoy!

********************

“Mr. Carbonell, I heard you punched the Mayor!”

“Miss Williams, I can assure you that I did not in any way come close to punching the Mayor.” Tony didn’t turn from the blackboard. “Not only is Mayor Thompson a leader in our community and a well respected Alpha, but even if he did deserve to be punched, violence is not the answer to disagreements, so I wouldn’t have hit him.”

“He’s lying.” A very confident Riri whispered to Mary-Anne. “Your brother told me that Mr. Carbonell put Mayor Thompson on his as–”

“I’m fairly positive you won’t be finishing that sentence, will you Miss Williams?” Tony called over his shoulder, and the girl made a zipping motion over her lips. “And I’m also sure that Harley isn’t spreading falsehoods about me containing profanity, are you Mr. Keener?”

He whipped around and sent Harley a look. “Hm?”

“Uh, no sir, Mr. Carbonell.” Harley mumbled. “Jus’ repeatin’ what I heard is all.”

“You were only repeating what you heard.” Tony corrected. “And what you heard is incorrect. In no way, shape or form, did I lay Mayor Thompson out on his fully deserving, overly arrogant, Alpha ass.”

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I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

Aspiring Escape Artist (part two)

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"Why don't we all head inside, yes?" Mr. Wayne suggested, waving his arm in the doors general direction.

"Yes, that sounds great," Ms. Clance agreed, turning to Danny like she was debating whether or not she should drag him inside. Danny was very against that idea and glared at her. She huffed but turned and started making her way up the stairs.

The other, he can't really say kids because he's pretty sure half the people standing in front of him were over the age of eighteen, but they still lived with Mr. Wayne, apparently, so kids it was. The other kids continued to try to stealthily watch him as they made their way into the building. (He refused to call this place a house; it was bigger than Sam's manor for Ancients' sake.)

The gray-eyed girl waited for him, the not-so-happy but happy sparkle back as she watched him approach. Pausing for a moment, Danny turned and gently patted the bush closest to him, it had been practically begging for attention for the past ten minutes and Sam would have throttled him if he had just ignored it.

She treated them like demented puppies, and it's against every unspoken law (in danny's books, atleast) to ignore a puppy.

The gray-eyed girl (man, he was going to have to learn their names, Ancients, why were there so many people here?) tilted her head curiously, eyeing the plant he just patted.

"My friend has plant powers," Danny huffed, which was true. Sam still had lingering plant control and a connection to the green because of Undergrowth. Danny was just leaving out the fact that he also had plant powers. He wasn't sure why he always got new powers after beating new powerful ghosts, but it happens, and now he needs to pet the plants because they get sad if he doesn't.

(Jazz theorized once that the new powers were due to his half-a nature, but then they looked at Vlad and decided it was probably something else.) (Also, why in the world did he get ice powers and then almost immediately plant powers? like, seriously, why?)

"Close friend?" Gray asked, turning to follow Danny inside.

"One of my best friends," Danny agreed. Man, he missed them. He'd have to figure out how to get out of here soon; there was no way he was going to just not see his friends on Tucker's birthday. Which meant he had about a week to bust out of here and get back to Amity. Oh, and stay under the radar so Vlad doesn't find him.

Glancing around the entry hall, or was the term foyer? like, the place was fancier then most five star hotels he's seen (which he wants to make clear, was against his dying wishes. fuck vlad and his not hard earned money.) like, sure, it wasn't all white modern minimalist like the hotels, but he's pretty sure the vase just sitting a little too close to the edge of a table was worth more then a human heart on the black market.

"Welcome to Wayne Manor," Mr. Pennyworth started, closing the doors with a heavy thud. He didn't lock it, though, Danny noted. Probably because Ms. Clance still needed to leave.

"may I have your coats?" he asked, holding out his arm to Ms. Clance and looking over to Danny. Ms. Clance immediately started to shrug off her jacket and dropped it onto his arm without a second glance, trying to talk to Mr. Wayne about an office or something.

Danny shook his head, "No thanks. I prefer to keep my things with me." especially in a new place, who knows what they'd do to his stuff. last time he handed anything over it had been locked up and never returned. (or well, not returned until he stole it back right before leaving, but that's getting into semantics.)

"So, Daniel was it?" the older guy from the first three asked, smiling brightly and trying to act casual. He was failing.

"It's Danny," Danny huffed, glancing around to study the others.

Gray was nice, he had a feeling they'd get a long fine. she was like an open book, all her opinions and emotions right there for him to see. Though that just meant she was awear of them and could easily hide them.

The others not so much.

Eyebags looked tired but alert, watching Danny like he was a new puzzle. Which was fine, Danny could deal with that. He probably wasn't as bad as Jazz or his parents were when obsessed with new things, so he goes lower on the list but not off.

Mr. Casual over here was watching him AND the others, which meant he was probably the peacekeeper. That or he was the one who antagonized the others into acting without them noticing. Same as eyebags, then.

Blondie looked like she was planning how to prank him right then and there, but also like she was evaluating him for something. Like he thought earlier, she'll probably stick around until she gets bored. So, hmmm. Keep an eye on more than eyebags, but probably not a problem.

there was a kid maybe two-three years younger than him trying to hide on the stairs out of view, he looked pissed off and annoyed. Something was telling Danny he should stay away from him. So, definitely going to the top of his list right next to butler man.

And finally, Mr. Wayne. He was smiling and chatting with Ms. Clance like he didn't have a care in the world. And it would have been believable if it wasn't for the fact that the man was easily steering the conversation away from the stuff Ms. Clance wanted to talk about, without Danny around, before leaving. Which means Mr. Wayne wanted Danny to be part of the conversation, probably to get both sides of the story.

He was smart and knew how to manipulate situations without people catching on.

Also, top of the list, then.

"Only people who want to kill me call me Daniel," Danny added, watching as Ms. Clance tried to bring up his file and fell for another diversion.

"Really?" Eyebags asked, actually surprised for some reason.

Oh, wait, murder isn't normal. Ha, to live a normal life. It must be boring. Couldn't be him, even if he wanted it. There was nothing normal about growing up with mad scientists, and nothing normal about being half dead and a vigilante.

"Yeah, my friends and I made a chart and everything. Granted, we didn't have many people to add to the list to compare with, but it's checked out so far." Danny admitted, turning to face Eyebags.

Honestly, it was just Vlad, his parents, a few GIW agents, and those very few times his friends almost killed him. But come on, they all called him Daniel at some point. Therefore, it totally checks out.

"Huh," Mr. Casual blinked, glancing at his siblings before shaking his head. "Right, so uh, why do people want to kill you?"

"Because they're Fruit Loops," Danny grumbled, finally deciding to approach Ms. Clance. Might as well get this done and over with. The longer she stayed, the less time Danny would have to scout the place by himself later, after all the introductions.

Next (to be written)

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here