Damn, Now I Feel Sorry For Him...

This is kinda nice.

What’s Inside of You? A quiz I made while waiting for the vet to call me and tell me that they extracted 14 hairbands from my cat’s stomach.

I don’t know what was going on for some time but I’m dying of laughter all the same

Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020)

WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:

1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t

How to make Mabel Juice

I’ve seen approximately a kajillion different recipes for Mabel Juice, so the last thing we need is another one. But I ended up making my own, and I thought I’d share it! 

My recipe is incredibly simple (I had a bit of a time crunch to make it) and takes very little effort.

Ingredients:

a can of frozen raspberry lemonade

a 16oz can of fruit punch flavored energy drink (I used Rockstar)

edible glitter

plastic dinosaurs

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This post makes me unreasonably happy

Riordanverse as tweets that people have framed

Percy: My girlfriend told me I needed to grow up. I was speechless, as you are when you have 47 gummy bears stuffed in your mouth Annabeth: Just heard someone say they want a kindle that doesnt run out of batteries. So like, a book? Grover: Sometimes I get emotional over fonts Jason: Lightning is underrated I mean common you're telling me zap zap isnt cool? Piper: being pretty without makeup is a serious flex Frank: The fear of being murdered does wonders for my cardio on a nightly run Hazel: In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved Leo: Have you ever thought you were in love with someone but then realized you were just staring into the mirror for 20 minutes? Calypso: If you hold a warm pancake and close your eyes, its almost like holding someones hand Reyna: Being single is so deeply a part of who I am that I truly don't know what I'd do with a boyfriend. Do you have to walk it? How often does it get fed? I'm not ready Octavian: snakes are just angry socks Nico: Show the haters how it's done by hating yourself the most Will: My boyfriend wanted two kittens but I'm the man in this relationship so we got two kittens Chiron: Okay kids listen closely cause I'm only gonna say this 257,000 times Apollo: I punched myself in the face trying to pull my blanket up and if that doesn't describe my life I don't know what does Meg: plants really be like 'I don't vibe with this dirt' and then die Lityereses: When I had my first boyfriend, we didn't talk, hold hangs or hang out. Easily my best relationship Lavinia: You have distracted from my creative process Commodus: Just found out the world doesnt revolve around me. Shocked and upset Caligula: I need a friend like me Nero: Treat yourself with some world domination Magnus: My body is a hotel for anxiety Alex: I don't buy anything on black friday, I just want an excuse to get into a fist fight Jack: not everyone was king fu fighting mom some of us were trying to break it up Mallory: Never ask a women eating ice cream straight from the carton how they're doing Halfborne: Until I got a girlfriend, I didn't know there was a wrong way to put the milk in the fridge- T.J: Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 friends on his 30s

Plot twist: the housewife is the bloodthirsty one

You don’t have an Angel or a Devil on your shoulder. You have an Angry Viking and 50’s House Wife.

Why is it that you could switch the roles and it makes sense.

WHY IS IT THAT YOU COULD SWITCH THE

I mean how could anybody possibly say no to that

I’m keeping this for future reference hang on-

What Cis People Say To Trans People Vs. What We Hear

By Meredith Talusan and Rory Midhani

TRANSlator 3000: Amazing technology translates cissexist BS!

“Oh you’re trans but you look so good!” “Trans people are ugly.”

“I’ve never met a trans person before.” “I assume I can identify any trans person.”

“I would date a trans person.” “Trans people are usually undateable so I deserve a prize.” 

“You look just like a real woman.” “Trans women aren’t really women.”

“I’m glad you’re being honest with me about being trans.” “Trans people who don’t tell me they’re trans are deceivers and liars.”

“I loooooove trans people!” “I fetishize trans people.”

“It’s so hard to switch pronouns.” “Trans people are an inconvenience to me.”

“I don’t have a problem with trans people.” “I have a problem with trans people.” 

Gaud you absolute chaos being of the same breed as Bill Cipher what do you specifically have in mind no wait don't tell us I'm suddenly scared and the possibility may have just triggered a panic attack in me as I write this

Warms my heart to know that once the aliens arrive, in the few short months leading up to the interspecies planetary war caused by our governments failing to engage in diplomacy, we will at the very least we’re get some very solid erotic artwork from all the monsterfuckers out there. the goddamn minute them aliens land y'all are gonna be doing porn of them and that revitalizes me

oh haha lmfaoo

im back on the old blr acc because of toxic yaoi lol

(it is. so bad. i am convinced that the dsm-5 was written in regards to them. they wont get out of my head and bite me whenever i demand they at least pay rent for the space they occupy. someone help me.)