Plot Twist: The Housewife Is The Bloodthirsty One

oh haha lmfaoo

im back on the old blr acc because of toxic yaoi lol

(it is. so bad. i am convinced that the dsm-5 was written in regards to them. they wont get out of my head and bite me whenever i demand they at least pay rent for the space they occupy. someone help me.)

WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:

1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t

Going out with a bang.

The three little pigs are dead, as are the next 236. Straw, sticks, bricks, reinforced concrete, titatium it didn’t matter. They all fell to the onslaught of the wolf. Little piggy 240 is bracing for the inevitable attack, inside his house of depleted uranium.

Hol up someone said that one scene from Trials Of Apollo:

“It tells you to cast a curse on the giant metal statue that looks like you and is tearing the camp apart. It tells you to say PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY. You do not want to say plaguey, plaguey, plaguey.”

I’m dying y’all what-

You’ve found one of the five most powerful swords in the world. The problem? Its annoying voice and personality. The sword keeps mocking you each time you swing it, no matter how effective you are with it

I’m keeping this for future reference hang on-

What Cis People Say To Trans People Vs. What We Hear

By Meredith Talusan and Rory Midhani

TRANSlator 3000: Amazing technology translates cissexist BS!

“Oh you’re trans but you look so good!” “Trans people are ugly.”

“I’ve never met a trans person before.” “I assume I can identify any trans person.”

“I would date a trans person.” “Trans people are usually undateable so I deserve a prize.” 

“You look just like a real woman.” “Trans women aren’t really women.”

“I’m glad you’re being honest with me about being trans.” “Trans people who don’t tell me they’re trans are deceivers and liars.”

“I loooooove trans people!” “I fetishize trans people.”

“It’s so hard to switch pronouns.” “Trans people are an inconvenience to me.”

“I don’t have a problem with trans people.” “I have a problem with trans people.” 

I’ll be back, just wait, I’ll have it done eventually I swear-

My ideal no-notebooks fluff-only Death Note AU is like… The jewel in the Tokyo PD’s crown, almost completely dead-inside genius detective Light Yagami, meets the mysterious freelance detective L on the job the first time a case tricky enough to outlast each party’s tendency to solve crimes before the other one can hear about them crops up. They take a personal interest in each other because you gotta and we start in on a very standard romance meet cute plot with L slowly melting this frosty perfect ice queen’s hard outer shell, except that instead of being soft and vulnerable on the inside Light’s shell conceals a misanthrope with delusions of grandeur and general raging asshole who would sell anybody but his immediate family to the devil for a warm chicken salad sandwich. Everyone else is like “…Please put it back,” but L is proudly watching the proceedings while going, “He’ll never achieve self actualization if he doesn’t embrace his sociopathy. It’s good to be yourself.” Naturally, L is humanized in time with this via transitioning from a fancy letter and messages to a voice to a (**big reveal**) person. After Light embracing his true self proves to involve wrapping the case with some technically legal but morally extremely questionable actions he gets disowned/disowns himself and they run away together to a neutrally located non-Japan non-England country to live on the top level of an unnecessarily large building that they own and set up there as detective partners. All their clients like Light best at first because he’s hot and knows how to be charming and otherwise use his face for something besides creepy staring, then eventually gravitate to L when they realize that Light is a habitual liar who cackles maniacally as a hobby and L actually believes in the innate value of human life. Neither ever fully grows out of seeing the other as their pet weirdo. They solve 7000 crimes and eventually die middle aged in a shootout. They arranged for this to domino effect to that case being wrapped up even in the event of their untimely demise beforehand. Everybody expects it to come out that they were secretly married in the following legal proceedings but what’s actually revealed is that L has already been legally dead for 12 years.

*I saw this at like 1am and I had to struggle to keep in the screeching when I saw that 2nd panel-*

Yaoi fan ♥

I am destroyed.

I am crying tears of blood.

The horrible thing is that this may be the reality where no one dies, and it could’ve saved ____.

I’m going to liquidate now.

thats why he was shaking thank god tony wake him up

It’s been 3 days, I have binged this entire series, lessgo.

au where tom and marco kissed in the photobooth instead??

this was mostly self indulgent

post it note conversation between them that ends in

"i hope you die."

"i hope we both die."

No children is such a billford song