Moisturize Me

This week’s Doctor Who was like when my 4 year old begs me to play Barbies and I finally agree but she only lets me play with the two Ken dolls while she hogs all the other barbies. So I’m annoyed already. She launches into some crazy story that only she knows the details of cause she is 4. While she is going on about a ball and bird aliens or whatever, I am just sitting there with the Kens, making them talk about nothing, like she is the one who wanted me to play and now she has forgotten I’m even here. If I leave though, she will cry so I just do my thing. But then I start getting too into it, fleshing out Ken 1 and Ken 2’s backstories and why they’re at the Barbie ball etc. They’re connecting. They’ve never felt this way before. And all of a sudden, just as Ken 1 is about to confess his love, my daughter grabs Ken 2 and tosses him in a bucket, saying “oh no! The bad birds sent Ken to space!” And she is laughing. And I am in shock. Ken 1 is crying. Ken 2 is gone?? The baby monitor goes off, my real life baby is awake and needs a bottle. Real life daughter is done with barbies and ready for a snack. What am I doing. I will find you Ken 2, I will find you and we’ll travel across the stars.

everyone saying rogue is like jack is just saying this because white man kisses doctor. rogue is like if river song was a boyfailure and a bit more awkward.

the reveal about ruby’s mother actually makes perfect sense when you think about it. why else would someone name their baby by pointing at a random sign in the middle of the night and dress in wizard robes while leaving said baby behind on a doorstep in a church if they weren’t a teenager whacked out of their mind on pain medications

skibidi toilet is not hard to understand, not any more than any other lolrandom youth meme that has ever existed. if you don't want to turn into a hey-kids-get-off-my-lawn guy just go watch a couple of the videos and maybe skim the wikipedia article instead of telling yourself this is totally different from when your parents insisted your generation's jokes weren't funny

2011 called they want them

i'm trying not to judge the person in the paul mcgann tag who's listening through his audios and rated creed of the kromon higher than scherzo but holy shit. there really are infinite and variable kinds of people in the world with infinite and variable tastes, aren't there? fascinating

House in 2024

House: faggot

Foreman: I.. don't think you should be saying that

Chase: arh naur I theenk he carn archally. Ave you seenim with Wilson?

Cameron: I think it's a little rude to speculate about someone's sexuality while they're in the room

House: oh no no, let Chase continue. I wanna know when he'll start describing how I take in in the ass-

*house realizes something*

House: WE HAVE TO CHECK THE PATIENTS ASS

where are the jobs for useless people who can't handle anything at all

That undertale mirror trend with Bill :((