Very Long Kakashi Headcanon Bc The Gremlin Piloting My Brain Says I Have To Tell Everyone.

Very long kakashi headcanon bc the gremlin piloting my brain says I have to tell everyone.

“TOBIRAMA IS KAKASHI’S GRANDPA!” I scream as they drag me into a padded white room. “But what about when kakashi got the sharingan why didn’t it turn into a rinnegan?-“ idk okay? I’m having a plot hole. Just as a treat. Kishimoto always gets to have them but why can’t I? Maybe it’s because he’s only a quarter Senju?? Don’t look too much into it.

I do have a hatake oc that’s kakashis grandmother which ik lots of people don’t like ocs so I’ll try to get this hc out without my bias for her coming in.

Imagine tobirama who didn’t want to get with a woman (I hc him as gay but you can take it as him being on the aroace spectrum or just him liking his work too much idk) but wants a kid/kids so bad, so he takes up a team. He loves his team and the other kids he ends up taking on but he wants something more.

He can’t just ask a woman to bare him a child and then expect her to leave them, he wouldn’t do that to someone. With his brother still in office, he gets with a hatake woman, who doesn’t want to be with a man but also wants a child. They have sakumo, but war is increasing and tensions are getting higher within the nations and tobirama barely sees his son. It tears him apart and only gets worse with his brothers passing and then his nephew and his wife’s passing.

Nobody besides Mito knows that the 5yo little hatake boy is his, and he doesn’t plan on letting anyone know. Hashirama and his nephew and his wife knew but. Dead men tell no tales. Shortly after he becomes hokage he is sent off to the mission that would kill him. Sakumo and his mother grieve. Sakumo knew that man was his dad even though he didn’t see him much, he knew that his dad loved him very much.

Tsunade is 7 and while she’s smart, she still can’t figure out why this boy her age and his mother are suddenly around more often. Sure she knew that her grandma was friends with the hatake woman and so was her great uncle and grandpa and she was okay friends with sakumo but why was he around her and Mito’s house more and more? If this was an attempt at forcing her and nawaki to make more friends, it wasn’t very good since the boy didn’t talk much.

Sakumo’s mother dies. She dies when he is 8 and while he’s a chunin, he still feels like he needs his mother. She dies on a mission and sakumo can’t help but feel like a lost toddler in a store. Mito uzumaki, the great woman she is, invites him into her house like she has with his mother and him many times before.

Sakumo grows up around the sanin, nawaki and mito uzumaki. He grows up to the conquer battle fields. He meets a lovely woman and she has his son. Of course like how it always goes, she dies. She dies during child birth and while he is torn up, he now has a beautiful son.

Sakumo dies when kakashi is 5, keeping the secret of who his father is. When kakashi grows up, he isn’t curious. He knows it’s unusual to not have his relatives marked on his papers if they were known. He knows that his father knew who his dad was; he would occasionally bring up the nameless man when kakashi was training, saying how he looked like his grandfather. But he doesn’t care. There isn’t time to lament because he has a genin team.

Kakashi is curious. He’s hokage now and while things aren’t slow persay, a lot of work has been done over the last two years. He’s had time to think and heal. Though maybe that’s because ino, tsunade and Sakura all forced him into therapy. But, kakashi is curious about who his family is. He knows none of them will be alive so he asks Sakura for a blood test. It’s not like he’ll have to deal with any surprise family members.

Kakashi is wrong. Very wrong. He has a very grumpy, scary and blond woman who he knows very well, as his second cousin. He should’ve just stayed curious.