Yes Your Blorbo Is Tortured And Pathetic And Slutty And Pretty And Suffers More Than Jesus And All That

me, logging into ao3 5 minutes before bedtime: WAITER! bring me your finest enemies to lovers!

ao3 tag search function: excellent choice, sir! how would you like it cooked?

me: explicit. with a side of hurt/comfort

ao3: lovely! and may i suggest a drizzle of mutual pining?

me: of course, and can you add a spritz of angst? make it a 100k slowburn for good measure

ao3: coming right up, sir

me: thank you. oh, and waiter?

ao3: yes, sir?

me: make it gay

look at these two characters…wouldn’t it be a shame if they…tenderly rested their foreheads together…

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999) dir. Gil Junger

save me characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation…..characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation save me………..

Not to be a slut or anything but can someone come lie on top of me and kiss me like you've needed to your whole life

can't stop thinking about this

there's probably a better way of wording the last part but like come on it doesn't matter if we're all the same to fascists

fix it fics save me..... save me fics that give the characters a happy ending save me..........

me, vibrating out of my skin : hey can I talk to you about this piece of media real quick? I pinky promise I'll be So Normal about it, like there's no reason to be concerned that this will turn into a three hour long monologue. Like I Prommy that I'm not gonna be a freak about it.