My Entire Childhood I Didn't Understand Why Do People Put Eye Color In The Description Of Other People,

Some are calmer and it's just something that pulls me closer to certain things. But I love some special interests so much that when anything even remotely related to it is mentioned, the excitement breaks the scale and turns into physical pain. Full body reaction, discomfort with vague pain in my chest. So filled with joy that I burst and it turns into misery again. But special interests give my life a meaning and were almost always the reason why I chose not to kms.

My special interests feel like they are studying themselves on their own while things that don't interest me are sometimes impossible to study. Often when I'm researching a SI, questions start spawning in my mind and they spiral to the point where finding the answer becomes impossible and I become frustrated. It's like I'm trying to zoom in to an infinitely small point that I know I'll never get to, but it still hurts.

autistic people: what does having a special interest feel like to you?

(and if u want to say, what is your current special interest?)

All my attempts at re-reading Venus in Furs are spoiled by me immediately starting to cry

To the gay worker at the chocolate store who showed me a cheaper way to buy the gift I was buying, thank you for your service🫡

Nymphomaniac dir Lars Von Trier.

Same exact problem

so who else gets irrationally afraid and embarrassed about their interests being known to people in real life

Just remembered this fucking thing exists again

Venus in furs is so trans I'm sorry