RELEVANT

Well alright then... *blows cobwebs off my account*. Mutuals, feel free to ask me for my Discord.

Absurd and delightful scenario:

Smokescreen is taking the Team Prime kids out for a drive, to get them out of Ratchet's figurative hair and give the old boy some quiet time.

They spot a fundraiser carwash and the humans convince him to go through - they have cash and want to donate because it's for a cause they all really like (or something).

Before any of them can really see too much someone's thrown a bucket of sudsy water over the car, and suddenly BAM! There's a pair of very big honkers in a teeny tiny bikini top scrubbing the windshield.

Everyone is freaking out. Jack, Miko, and Raf are all screaming while the older two try to shield Rafs eyes. Smokescreen has no idea how to feel about this, he's panicking, feeling things he isn't sure he's supposed to feel. Is he into this? Does he have a fetish now? But simultaneously he's horrified because his charges are inside of him while all of this is going on and OH PRIMUS NOW THERES THREE PAIRS OF BOOBS?!?!

He is so embarrassed that he peels out of there as fast as he's able, uncaring that he is still covered in soap. The kids are still screaming, now being tossed around inside the car as he Tokyo-drifts it out of the parking lot.

As soon as they're back on the road everyone gets super quiet and awkward for a solid five minutes. Finally Smokescreen asks that they don't tell Optimus about this. They all agree. Another few minutes go by, Miko gets anxious and suggests turning on the radio. Smokescreen does so, but the station he lands on is playing the new Bruno Mars/Sexxy Red song, and it just so happens to be in the second verse at this point.

Titties on your forehead, titties on your chin. Titties on titties with my big titty friends.

The radio goes off again, and they drive the rest of the way back to base in silence.

They call me heathen... but I have a god.

His name is Megatron.

*probable* tfp quotes:

Megatron - Yet another attempt at undermining me, Starscream? I ought to rend you limb from limb!

Starscream - As delightful as that sounds, master, wouldn't you rather I give you a lap dance and we can forget this whole thing ever happened?

Megatron (murderous) - You think this is a joke?!?

Starscream - *turns on Get Low and begins gyrating his hips*

Megatron (exasperated) - Get out of my sight.

Yes

Yasssss my pointy-smiled, space-meth sampling, war criminal, cutie pie!!

Unicron

This is stunning babe go get that autograph!! I'm sure he'll be blown away!

Print I hope to get signed by Frank Welker at TF Con LA! My fav line ever in a tf series tbh

... but it's such a good song...

I'm going to kill Tailgate if he plays "We Don't Talk About Bruno" one. more. time.

Knock Out: The Master of Inappropriate Flirting