Some Gay Dudes Dunno I Just Love Them

heyyyy !!! i saw a person asking me about my other sp otps (yep thats surprising but kyman is not my only pairing hehe) sooo ive done this

btw i absolutely can’t draw so i’m sorry for how ugly it may look

i also love stenny, clybe, bebe/red, steek, kytters, clenny and staig a lot!!!

also this kinda looks like a template so i’ll leave it here under the cut

and aww @bloogers-boogers thanks a lot for asking!!!!! also wanted to say that your choice of otps is sooooo great like rlly i dont see enough ppl liking ships like jimthan or kenman!! and our taste is a bit similar because YEPPP KYMAN CANDY AND JIMTHAN SHARING (almost) THE SAME DYNAMIC IS SO TRUE!!!

i, personally, am not really into stan getting into kyman’s way and trying to stop them from dating, but it seems to be one of the most popular trope for stan in kyman fics. and although i can see the appeal, i prefer another option.

please think about stan who’s actually helping kyman to get together.

so cartman has a big and (as he thinks) unrequited crush on kyle, and he decides that the fastest and most effective way to win kyle’s heart is to get stan’s support since stan and kyle are the best friends. and if you have stan by your side, you can say that half of work here is done.

and as a professional manipulator cartman convinces stan into helping him – he plays the “i’m on my meds & went through therapy” card, he says that stan is the one who gotta understand how broken heart and unmutual feeling hurt, that it’s almost their prom and cartman doesn’t have enough time to hit on kyle properly – and who knows, maybe they won’t even be in touch after kyle enters the university, so cartman has only one chance. he swears on his life he’s never gonna hurt kyle, and he flatters stan by saying he always hated him the least out of all the boys.

and stan as a hopeless romantic and sucker for stories with unmutual crushes finally gives in agreeing to help cartman. bonus if wendy is totally into this idea because a) it’d be amusing to watch them having their drama; b) she supports gay rights and wrongs; c) she think that kyle would be like a good influence for cartman and could “fix him” (my girl has never been so wrong in her entire life)

so they all start a whole new project for making kyle consider cartman as a proper romantic partner.

cartman: Okay. You have to invite him to the cinema BUT you will dump him at the very last minute so he’ll have to go there with me. What movie should we choose?

stan: Uhhh… There’s a new DC movie?

cartman: DUDE! Even I know he’s more of a Marvel fan.

stan: Well, I’m- I’m not supposed to memorize his preferences by heart, you know!

cartman: You’re his best friend?????

btw stanman and candy bonding over there :333

so wendy and stan help him to plan the whole dates, but the minor problem is that they have veeery different understanding of the romance.

wendy: The best way to win his heart and make some obvious hints is to take him out for a romantic dinner in the restaurant!

stan: No way, Kyle’ll hate that! Take him for a basketball game, he loves basketball.

cartman: …Can’t I just invite him to watch “The passion”?

wendy&stan, indignantly: CARTMAN!

cartman: What? It’s symbolic!

so they end up convincing him that kyle is never gonna like cartman if he doesn’t hide his true self, so he has to pretend a lot. he hates this idea, but eventually agrees and starts faking his behaviour being all nice, polite and kind-hearted, but every time their dates become a mess. and kyle seems to react veeery negatively, because even though he thought he wanted cartman to change, and he’s supposed to be happy that cartman is finally acting like a decent normal person – deep down he can’t get rid of this vague feeling that something is wrong, that he’s faking. and it irritates him so much he gets more and more angry and yells at cartman almost every time, even though there are no visible reasons for that.

and one day cartman just freaks out because he’s tired of faking, and if kyle doesn’t like the real cartman, than fuck him. and he finally asks him out the way he truly wanted – with mean jokes, rude behaviour, they just go to kfc and then sit at home watching dumb horror movies in cartman’s bedroom. and that was the first time they kissed – the first time in a long time when kyle saw cartman’s real self. and oh boy did he missed it.

ive heard the new sp special finally came out i am SO excited to watch it HOPE IT’LL GIVE ME SOME KYMAN FOOD PLEASE

i like the idea of interactions between craig gang and main 4 so much. and i honestly believe that in high school the “mediators” between these two groups are tweek and kenny, since kenny is close to literally everyone in the class, so he hangs out with craig really often, and tweek kinda kept the childhood friendship with kyle and sometimes hangs out with stan and cartman.

and they couldn’t not notice how craig and those guys really despise and try to interact as little is possible with main4, meanwhile stan and his friends avoid hanging out with craig’s gang as well.

and none of them seems to really remember why they hate each other and why didn’t the silly little rivalry in the elementary school end when they grew up – so tweek and kenny decided to dig a little bit deeper and find the origins of this conflict, and after a week or two with the help of indirect questions and some bottles of wine for stan they finally discovered that craig and stan were dating back in middle school, but now they’re exes.

and it all finally started to make sense now :D

“oh, i have so many otps in south park i’m a total multishipper and am open to every possible dynamic!”

*continues talking about kyman and nothing but kyman*

Happy Birthday, Eric Cartman

A small Kenman piece I wrote for his birthday 🤲

Note: I made them middle school here but ages don't affect the story at all soooo enjoy

***

  Eric sighed quietly as he rolled over, now facing the wall. After gazing at the ceiling for the past thirty minutes, he already realized that he's not going to get much sleep tonight. How much easier it would be if he could just lay and instantly fall asleep as it always happens. But it was an unlucky night for him right before his birthday.

  He was...Moderately excited. I mean, which middle school kid wouldn't be excited for his birthday, right? Maybe some depressed dude or a lame hippie wouldn't, but Eric hated those guys anyways. He's not a little child anymore tho, so he won't jump of his bed right at 7 AM in the morning, but he was pretty excited for the gifts his mother was preparing for him and also the usual party he was hosting.

  2:30 AM already, and Eric's still wide awake. He's never getting it right before his birthday. Now he just lies and mumbles something to himself. The weather is shitty, so he can clearly hear the wind noise even through the closed window. Well, at least it's better than lying in a complete silence...Cartman thinks so until something hits his window.

Something hits his window. Suddenly all the wind noises before don't sound like wind noises anymore, because someone is clearly moving outside. God. Eric won't admit it, but he's scared. Of course he's scared, this whole situation looks like a cliche horror movie plot. The 2 AM, the window, the noises...And the next step should be dead Eric Cartman. Then a tragic morning discovery, then his crying mother at the funeral, and then...Wait, no, this isn't going to be like that. He was actually about to call his mother, but then the killer would kill him instantly or what's much worse would think he's a pussy. He can't let that happen! If someone dares to try to kill Eric Cartman at night, they should face the consequences without any mercy.

  Holding a pair of scissors in his hands, Eric was hesitant to open the curtains. That was until he heard the familiar voice through the window.

"Psst, Cartman, open your window!" the voice says.

"Kenny? My fucking God," now Eric more confidently opens the curtains and looks down - it is Kenny! Kenny Mccormick, looking at him with "open the window" puppy eyes. Somehow Eric does just that, and in a few seconds his friend is already in his room. "What are you doing here? I'm trying to get some fucking sleep."

"But you aren't sleeping. Phew, I thought I'd have to wake the princess up," Kenny says, giggling.

"Two shits you're gonna wake me up."

But in the end, they both don't look very tired, so Eric decides that he can go with that.

"Running away from home again, Mccormick?" he says mockingly.

"Nuh-uh, just going for a walk," Kenny shrugs and looks away.

"Right. A walk. At 2 AM. Through the entire town. You're such a comedian," Eric says, nearly laughing.

"Shut up. It is a walk. I'm not leaving Karen there, I'm gonna return home by morning and go to school. Just need some...time." Kenny replies, his voice a bit sadder.

"And you decided to walk directly to my house. I swear, if I was actually sleeping and you'd woke me up, I-"

"Chill out dude, I wasn't going to wake you up, I was just stopping there and thought maybe you wasn't sleeping, and I was right!" Kenny smiles victoriously.

"Uh-huh, and that's why you decided to throw something," Kenny replies with "a stick" and giggles. "a fucking stick at my window!"

"That's just a small detail," he chuckles.

"And what do you want anyways?" Cartman asks. "It's not like we can do any of the cool stuff right now when my mom is asleep. It doesn't mean that I don't want to wake up my mom, it's just-" and he begins his five minute rant about his mom and about how tired and annoyed he is.

Kenny listens through entire thing without saying a word of interruption and with a curious expression on his face. After Eric finishes, he speaks. "Actually, I came to wish you a happy birthday."

A few second silence. This, at almost 3 AM, seriously?

"Huh. You know I haven't invited anyone to my birthday yet, right?" Eric says, confused.

"Yep."

"And you know I might not invite you, right?"

"You'd be a bitch then, but yeah".

Cartman just pokes him instead of a usual "Hey!", and Kenny starts giggling again.

"So...You remembered?" Eric asks curiously.

"About your birthday? Yes," Kenny replies, visibly confused. "Jesus man, why are you so weird about it?" he laughs.

Well, not a lot of people seem to remember without me reminding them!

"You are weird, Kenny. You showed up to my house at 2 AM to wish me happy birthday."

"I just had to do it first!" Kenny says and starts laughing again.

  The situation quickly became much more lovely than it was at the beginning. It surely feels nice and weird at the same time: nice to have someone who cares so genuinely, weird to not have a need to force them to care. With all of that, Eric seems to feel...Happy?

"You know Kenny, you aren't so bad of a guy after all."

kyman superhero au where they know each other in regular life (and go to the same college) and kinda can’t stand each other but are forced to work together

SO imagine a soulmate au where people get a mark on their wrist that somehow implies who their soulmate is (basic). the mark usually appears somewhere about the age of 16-18.

not all people have soulmates, it’s a rather rare occasion (like one person out of 700 people), but if there have been people with soulmates in the family before, it increases the chances of having a soulmate-destined baby.

and now. STENNY.

kenny’s parents are soulmates (which is an INCREDIBLY rare situation because most of the time only one or nobody in a couple has a mark) so it was pretty natural to expect him having a mark.

other guys in the friends’ group didn’t worry about it much because they didn’t have any soulmates in their families, so they thought the chances of getting a soulmate mark were too low.

until one day stan wakes up and sees a death mark on his wrist. like. the grim reaper mark.

and he (naturally) gets scared as fuck. he tries to show this mark to anyone to reassure him that it’s ok but everyone seems pretty scared of it just as much as he is.

after, like, one week wendy breaks up with him saying that she’s afraid it’s some sort of a curse and she doesn’t really want to risk her life for a death-marked boy

and stan (once again naturally) gets depressed.

and uh. kenny is the only one who understands the meaning of the mark. but he can’t really tell the truth to stan because he simply wouldn’t believe if one of his best friends just casually told him “ah yes we’re soulmates and the reason why your mark is so weird is because i die at least once a week. wanna go on a date now?”

and while stan is out there hating his unknown soulmate, kenny has to listen to him complaining about his terrible luck and just. do nothing.

so kenny is just… waiting for his mark to appear so he can have a real proof of their soulmateship.

and now imagine the drama.

so about a kyman university au here

imagine when kyle and cartman’s new classmates once are so sick of hearing kyle hating cartman so much, so they sceptically ask what is it what kyle has against eric. and kyle is so confused as he can’t choose proper words to find an actual reason why he hates cartman, so he just grabs the first guess he has in mind and victoriously declares “For example, he gave me fucking AIDs once, does that count?”

and he’s so proud of finally revealing them how terrible cartman is, that he doesn’t notice how his classmates exchange understanding looks and nod. then he hears “Oh, so they were exes… That explains everything!” and gets fucking furious while cartman is losing it sm he doesn’t even try to deny their assumption.

it’s not like i’m a cartman apologist but every time i see people genuinely hating this boy i want to write a MASSIVE essay explaining why he is the way he is