Kal: Bruce, there you are — what in the world?
Bruce: Hey Kal.
Kal: Who are all these kids?!
Bruce: My Bat Family. I’m a dad now.
Kal: Since when?!
Bruce: Since 1940. Try to keep up.
Kal: I thought it was just the one! Hi, Nightwing.
Dick: Hi Superman! Yeah, I have siblings now.
Kal: And how’s that working out?
Dick: Most of us have died at least once.
Kal: …What?
Bruce: Hey Kal, check it out. This one’s super smart, and we have matching coffee mugs.
Tim: :)
Bruce: This one…
Cass: …
Bruce: Actually, this one scares me. And this one glows in the dark! Heheh!
Duke: :D
Kal: I can see that…
Damian: Father, I’m hungry. When are we having dinner?
Bruce: How many criminals have you caught today?
Damian: *holds up three villains* Is this sufficient?
Bruce: Eh, it’s good enough. Here. *tosses him a tofu hotdog, like just the dog part* Keep working on it. Three more and you get the bun.
Kal: *horrified silence*
Dick: Hmph! When I was Robin, I could catch at least five criminals before dinner.
Tim: Oh my gosh, Dick, no one cares!
Jason: No one cares about anything in this stinkin’ family. Where were you all when I died, huh?!
Everyone: *groan*
Damian: Quit being such a drama queen, Todd! It’s not like losing your life is the end of the world!
Tim: Yeah!
Damian: You shut up. The only thing you’ve ever lost is your spleen.
Duke: And his parents.
Everyone except Damian: *parental trauma* AH!
Bruce: I told you never to mention that!
Kal: I can’t believe what I’m watching… Does Alfred know about this?!
Bruce: Yeah, totally, he’s cool with it.
Kal: *narrowing his eyes* I have a very hard time believing that.
Bruce: Well, he works for me, so shut up.
Kal: What about Catwoman?! Does Catwoman know about this?!
Bruce: *nervous* Um… well…
Damian: *suspicious* Who’s Catwoman?
Bruce: *very nervous* No one.
Dick: Oh, he is so dating Catwoman!
Tim: Why didn’t you tell us?!
Jason: What if we don’t want a step-mom, huh?!
Bruce: Woah, hold on now —
Duke: Look, you’re upsetting Batgirl!
Cass: …
Bruce: Alright, that’s enough! We’re not gonna talk about this anymore! Because —
Everyone: *annoyed* — you’re Batman!
Bruce: No! Because I said so! …And also, yes, because I’m Batman! Cause Batman says so!
Kal: *smirking* More like because you’re Bat-Dad.
Bruce: >:(
Kal: And hey, where’s Barbara? I thought she was Batgirl?
Bruce: *nervous* She was…
Kal: …Bruce, what did you do?
Dick: Oh, don’t worry, Superman, Barbara’s fine.
Kal: Oh, thank goodness.
Jason: She’s just paralysed from the waste down.
Kal: Bruce!
Bruce: It wasn’t my fault! She’s not even technicially my kid!
Kal: Bruce…
Bruce: Oh, don’t you “Bruce” me. I’ll “Bruce” you… “Bruce” you in the face.
Kal: Okay, that’s it, you are not allowed to find any more sidekicks starting right now!
Bruce: *holding up Harper* What about this one?
Kal: No!
Bruce: *holding up Spoiler* This one still has a parent — I can just be a mentor.
Kal: No!
Bruce: Well, gee, Kal, what am I supposed to do with all the orphans in Gotham, then, huh?!
Kal: Do you hear yourself right now?
Bruce: I have a system, Kal!
Kal: That’s it! There’s only way to solve this!
*Superman grabs Batman, and they fly off*
*Batman then appears on the couch in Therapist Spider-Man’s office from Across the Spider-Verse*
Therapist Spider-Man: Would you say you carry any trauma from your childhood?
Batman: *leans over* Do I have a story for you.
I like the idea of Good dad Bruce Wayne going and fighting Bad dad Bruce Wayne and taking Bad dad Bruce's kids.
(If there is a fic like this please Tell me)
LOOK AT TAGS CAREFULLY BEFORE READING
I want to start by saying yes I am aware of what canon Jason is like but canon is my playpen and I am an unruly toddler
Reality or Hallucinations; As Long As You're Here With Me by: KazeshiniSora 8 parts not finished talk of dead people/death (Jason) and implied rape (Dick)
Harder Than You Think (Telling Dreams From One Another) by: JaylaFireGal
Undead and Ghost by: llillilholillill
Recertification by: queenjean
Batman: World's Best Jungle Gym by: misskitka
Dirty colors by: Oddball03 (alternete meeting)
Batman's Bat by: Samantha_Mark (poor Betsy she was a good bat 😭)
No Cops at Pride, Only Red Hood by: Xenia12
It begins.. (in a good way) by: Skelly_712
The Red Hood Gang by: Skelly_712
The Red Hood Monologue by: Chilli_W (The books!! Not the books!!)
(Call me Red Hood because I am book obsessed)
Both Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark are Billionaires with to much money and never had a 'normal' childhood. So I saw this meme (go to the bottom to see meme) and I was like what if they were in the same universe so :
*Bruce calling Tony* (PS Tony knows Bruce is Batman)
Bruce: Hey Tony
Tony: Hey Bruce what do you need?
Bruce: I was looking online and it says that you own Netflix and I was wondering how much
Tony: How much what
Bruce: How much it takes to buy it
Tony: OH quick question. Why?
Bruce: Duke asked if I could get Netflix
Tony: Ok I made this mistake before. Go ask him if he wants a Netflix ACCOUNT
Bruce: O-k
*All Tony hears this*
Bruce:Hey Duke do you want a Neftlix account *a pause* Ok thank you chum
*Back to Tony*
Bruce: Ya so he says that he wants an account and what else he could be asking about
Tony: Thought so. Peter asked me the same thing and I made the same mistake
Bruce: Ok thank you Tony have a good evening
Tony: Bye Bruce
Katniss Everdeen. spoilers if you haven’t read all the Hunger Games books, sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D
I accept thanks via fanfic links. Thank you
If rebloged and some one has a fanfic please put it under my post Thank you
What if Bruce went on the whole training thing but decided that he would not be Batman maybe because he adopted Dick or thought it would be a bad idea and then got all his kids. But they do not know that their dad has this kind of training and they become vigilanties on their own. He could know or he could not know. Maybe he finds out after and decided not to tell them he knows. Maybe he do or does not know and sometimes goes out as Batman on rare occasions and he is more of a myth then anything. Maybe he becomes the Mayor stopping the crimes and criminals while also using Wayne interprises to fund building projects and funding the prison so criminals STAY in prison.
Picture this Tim finds out Dick is Robin like originally and thinks that Bruce is Batman. But Tim confronts Dick and Dick tells him that Bruce is not Batman and that he is only a civilian and has no idea of what Dick is doing.
Damian coming on to the scene and the Batkids find out about Bruce's training from Talia telling them why/how Damian was made because that is their loving father who would not hurt a fly and is scared of bats. What do you mean he's a brilliant detective of course he's smart but he's not a detective and he certainly has not been trained?
Or maybe Damian is confused but after seeing how Bruce treats his adopted "siblings" maybe mother ment he has a strong heart and he desideds that he will protect his father with his life because he has too soft of a heart to be able to survive Gotham of all places..right?
Jason coming back to life but instead of hating Bruce he misses him because it's his dad. He could not do anything he is a civilian he was in Gotham sleeping when Jason died and did not know what happand till later.
He is their dad that while he is a bit emotionally constipated sure.But was always there for them he read them Bedtime Stories, he held them when they had nightmares,never pushing them to tell him what they were about, he was always there for their compatitions, games, gymnastic lessons,art shows,writing,school plays and the first to be at the photograghy award ceramonys, always apologizing if he missed any or even if he was a little late.
As a non-diagnosed Autistic person with friends that are diagnosed I feel I have some ground to say that Bruce is autistic and has a hard time communicating like me on some days. So when he talks about emotions they are private moments between him and his kid that he is talking to. Maybe it is not his kids is his co-worker (friend) from the JLA, Jim Gorden (friend), Babs (pseudo daughter),Lucios Fox (friend), Alfred (the man he thinks of as a father).
Please remember that no one person is the same and this is only partly my opinion and that you can agree or disagree with me but there is no reason to comment hate.
I love when Bruce calls his kids sweetheart. Because Bruce in all his English influenced life would go to his sad kid and say, “ How are you doing sweetheart?” Then the bat kid would most likely not want to talk so he would say something like, “Ok, sweetheart how about we go get you a choccy?”
Because Bruce is not good at talking about feeling or thoughts but he will try for his kids and he is a good father dang it. Plus Alfred has raised that man like an old English baby and you can tell.