I Hate Being So Anxious And Such An Overthinker.

Me the 2 days you were off/j

*gazes off into the distance* @star-tb? I haven’t heard that name in years.

Hello; good morning, evening or night!

I am that anon who said you seemed interesting; I decided to make an account for my ooc blog since my account was roleplay focused haha. Hope you have been well!

ahhh i see !1!1!!11! thank you very much 4 your ask hehe it really did brighten my day i’ve been doing fine and dandy !!!!!! a little tired but i’m powering through 🙂‍↕️

I am never recovering from Fedya's Dead Apple outfit. Genuinely it probably is one of his best outfits in the entire series. Shibusawa knew what he was doing, I fear. 🙏

God I really am becoming an old man.

one of my first bsd fandom interactions was literally laughing because an artist had drawn SB!Chuuya's sunglasses as regular glasses at that was a funny choice to me but now I'm looking at them and

are those even sunglasses? Those don't look particularly tinted to me. The black and white versions are darker, but also clearly not mirror/black, so what does it mean...?

has Chuuya secretly needed reading glasses this entire time....

Tagging System.

🧵. follow the path of silver thread.

for organization- related posts ; expect very few here though it is mostly for the sake of organization.

💌. letter sent; letter received.

replying to asks from people.

🎭. whispers passed between hands.

answering to tag games.

🌫️. echoes lost in mist.

reblogging other people's posts.

🥀. pressed flowers and forgotten letters.

my general thoughts and my own personal musings; or posts of me going through my day.

🧵. woven threads of fate.

interactions with mutuals; those with which I am the closest to are going to receive their own tags.

🧵. a spun tale from whispered dreams.

OC thoughts; some of the ones I talk about the most might receive their own personalized tags + tags for their ships.

🎻. a melody played in the dark.

some of my Fyodor thoughts; perhaps other characters from other media may receive their own personalized tags depending on how often I think about them.

🎨. strokes of color upon quiet dreams.

posts of my art ; or works in progress that I am working on.

🧩. piecing together fractured reflections.

posts related to analysis and theories that I came up with for the media I care for and consume (bungou stray dogs; honkai star rail and other things).

🖋️. thoughts spun into quiet reveries.

my own personal writing and works in progress :).

🗃️ . pieces for a painted story.

essentially making sure that I can find resources ( from dividers to layouts and so on ) if needed; please feel free to block this tag as it is not really that relevant.

🧵. guiding thread for wandering minds.

aesthetic moodboards I actually made or found that I enjoyed; mostly kept here under this tag for inspiration in case I need some for writing or anything really.

—Fyodor Dostoevsky

𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧

Nikolai had put so much effort into creating his monstrous façade. All the jesting, laughing, toying with the pain of others. He tried so hard to look like a “monstrous person with nothing inside”. But in the end he didn't want to be remembered as such.

Gogol still wanted to let the world know that he wasn't a monster. During his makeshift penance to Atsushi he tried to humanize himself by telling about the guilt and remorse he felt. Nikolai even confessed to the Agency that he admired the justice they fought for. He said: the light they emitted drawn him in.

Nikolai couldn't allow himself to be viewed as just another criminal. He wanted to be remembered. He wanted to make people care.

For that, Gogol gauged out his soul and presented it to the audience.

He wanted to be seen, even at the very last moment.

Low-key tempted to write a full breakdown of Fyodor's mental health / state... but some key points I noticed :

savior / martyr complex.

dehumanization of self; he perceives himself as something fully inhuman.

black and white thinking; unable to reconcile with ambiguity and this also causes him to have an extreme “us vs them” mentality, classic almost cult leader behavior and mindset.

( possible ) depression and anhedonia.

frequent disassociation.

does not allow people to particularly get close to him, self-isolates and keeps his relationships with others transactional.

clear-cut sadism that he rationalizes.

oh wow, this account is a life saver! i was actually going to change my theme (even though i’m in love with it) because it’s so hard to find dividers.

if you have the time could you please do some brown and black academia dividers? i know academia is broad, honestly any works. light, dark, history, etc!

thanks for much in advance 🤎🤎🤎 and take your time. as a college student, with an internship and work study, you could answer this request one year from now and i’d still be happy lol.

ahh hi! thank you so much, I was so excited to see this (and so happy you like them!) I hope these will help with your updated theme!

I have 2 other posts that might have some dividers to mix in as well - they are linked here! 🤍

cottagecore / academia | headers & dividers

[Free] Masterlist Headers & Dividers!

Please consider liking or reblogging if you use 💕