“I Am Unable To Describe Exactly What Is The Matter With Me, Now And Then There Are Horrible Fits Of

I’ve not been officially diagnosed and im so scared that it’s all just my imagination

“Sometimes I contemplate, am I in love with the darkness or perhaps, the darkness is in love with me cause I never asked for all this still this burden came to me…”

— Demon

some supa good slam poems(-:

here’s a list of some of my favorite slam poems because slam poetry is beautiful and wonderful and incredible and lovely and everything

sienna burnett- “U Fine?”

“my mother has a texting language all her own and when she asks, “U Fine?” this means somewhere, very recently, there was another bullet-stop ending. there was another trigger parade.”

karina stow- trigger warning

“i don’t believe in lying to children, but when she asks me what’s wrong i still tell her the storybook version; i tell her that once, a bad man broke into my home. i wish i’d also told her that bad men look like respectable young men–trigger. that bad men will compliment your nana on her lemon squares. bad men write love poems- trigger. bad men smile so wide they will swallow you and you, you will convince yourself you asked him to.”

don luben- 14 lines from love letters or suicide notes

“i came home on thursday and found all of the chairs in the house stacked in a pile in the center of my kitchen; i don’t know how long they have been like that, but it must have been me that did it. it is the kind of thing a ghost might do, to prove to the living he is still there. i am haunting my own apartment.”

tucker bryant- facts about myself

“but being built like a short story is a lesson in finding other ways to be the tallest tale in the room.”

sarah kay- love letter from a toothbrush to a bicycle

“i know about your rough edges and i have seen your perfect curves, and i will fit into any spaces you let me. if loving you means getting dirty, bring on the grime, i will leave this porcelain home behind.”

savannah brown- i wish i was (a flaw examination)

“i wish i was more interesting but that might be one of those things where everyone else thinks i’m interesting, but i don’t because i’m me and i know i spend most of my days wearing pajamas in my room, which isn’t that interesting.”

phile kaye- beginning, middle, and end

“like the night you thought you were invincible, ran out into the lightning storm with a million keys tied to a million kites, and a clench in your jaw that said, “take me with you, goddammit, i dare you.” and the week you finally reached out to feel your father’s cheeks and just found paper cuts.”

dia davina- emergency room

“dont touch my heart when it’s thundering. you wouldn’t swim in a lightning storm, would you?”

melissa newman-evans- 9 things i would like to tell every teenage girl

“you remember that metaphor about killing you being stealing your voice? sometimes…the world will actually try to kill you. you’ll never deserve it.”

desiree dallagiacomo- sink 

“is that not living? being so close to death that you paint it on your skin?”

http://www.personal-quotes.com

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

—

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby.

(via theunrequitedlover)

“it’s a funny feeling hard to explain feeling like I don’t deserve to exist don’t deserve to be a part of now everything is good everything is fine but I hate it i hate how it makes me feel”

— t.m.

“i am depressed i am sad saying i have depression out loud for the world to hear is like baring my soul something i simply cannot do i don’t want people to see the thoughts in my head i wish i could hear silence for just one day”

— t.m.

me: has a breakdown because mental illness has ruined so much for me

also me: but am i really mentally ill tho?? how can i be sure? how do i know i’m not faking and making things up for attention?? i’m probably exaggerating because i want to be sick

I think i might be borderline. Im so sensitive but sometimes i feel so cold. I feel like i know what i want and deserve but then i feel like i dont deserve it and im such a horrible being. Sometimes its like nothing is never enough and i domt understand why. I feel empathetic but then i feel narcissistic, then i feel like i can percieve very well but then i am being one sided without even realizing. I make things bigger when they shouldn’t because im so insecure and stupid. I self loathe to the core no matter how many people boost me up and even if i try i then revert to not deserving and feeling bad and becominh self destructive and impulsive, indecisive i dont understand. I just want to be perfect for people and im so different around certain friends or people that if i were in a room with everyone of them who all dont know eachother i would freak out and feel like i don’t know who i am. I struggle hard with my identity. I feel like i know who i am but then im scared to be me, i am afraid of change but then sometimes i do and dont notice or get stuck or steal from others little habits like they are a part of me and feel lost when they are gone or i just can never let go. Im selfish yet considerate, it makes no sense, i am distraught. Dont know if i am diagnosed properly. Dont even know my ownself sometimes.