I Hate That I’m So Absent As A Person. I Don’t Start Conversations. I Can Barely Maintain Them. I’m

One thing at a time, that’s what they told me. I can’t even face doing one thing at a time. I’m too tired to pull myself out of bed. Too scared to do anything. Too paranoid to leave the house. I’m just sitting here watching time tick away and my thoughts gather like storm clouds preparing to drown me out.

“The moment love rejected me and I decided to reject it too. I had to plead guilty of my own murder”

— Rose O.

“Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that - everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.”

— Virginia Woolf’s suicide note

I hate how addicted I get to anything that makes me feel anything