Some Spuffy Comms 💥💕

The whole idea of “if you love something, set it free” as shown in Buffy is troubling to me. Buffy doesn’t want Angel to leave. She even doesn’t want Riley to leave for some inexplicable reason. She doesn’t want Spike to leave. (Or Giles. Or her mom.)

And yet the show keeps isolating her, the people she loves keep leaving her. And they say it’s for her own good (ie they are letting her free before they love her) but what they are really doing is abandoning her. They aren’t selflessly improving her life, they are causing her pain. Joyce and to a lesser extent Spike obviously did not willingly abandon Buffy, but the effect on her is the same. And while Spike’s sacrifice does free her of the shackles of the Hellmouth, you can’t convince me she wouldn’t rather be holding a blanket over his head on that bus rather than staring at the crater that becomes his tomb.

It is not better or more worthy or make Buffy stronger to be left alone. She is strong in spite of her suffering; not because of it. And I just can’t see any of this as good. Angel and Giles self-congratulate themselves as they walk away leaving her bleeding on the floor behind them.

I think a destiel kiss would have absolutely ruined Dean. Like. Dean thinks he’s this broken, messed up, tortured, walking, breathing curse, and he’s in love with this guy who’s pure grace, literally angelic, and just so fucking good.

Dean’s fully convinced himself he shouldn’t have him. Even if he could—he shouldn’t.

And then Cas comes in, confesses on his death bed while portraying Dean in this holy light he doesn’t deserve and Dean’s heart is going a million beats a second, he’s looking at Cas, into him, over him, memorizing every angle, every breathe of air, and sigh. His throat isn’t working—his feet less so and none of it makes sense. It doesn’t make sense. Dean doesn’t deserve this-this love, this confession, these words—this absolute angel of a man saying them. He doesn’t deserve it.

If Cas had kissed him, I think Dean would’ve found something a lot like religion in it. Cas would taste like home. Like nectar, like forgiveness, like love. And if Dean, who prides on placing himself in front of violence, had tasted what it was like to be loved gently. I think. I think he’d go insane with it. Rip a part the universe insane.

Quite honestly, it would’ve broken the fabric of reality so i guess i understand why the writers decided not to.

Nah, because they didn't even introduce Abel, THE Abel, but they created a completely new character, Colette, the love of Cain's life and then paralleled her with Cas.

the confession scene being in the dungeon is so fucked and meta because destiel was always supernatural’s Thing We Don’t Talk About™️ and you weren’t supposed to open that can of worms but it’s finally out in the open after 12 long years but it’s NOT because it only exists in that dark and barren dungeon where dean is loved and cas is happy for one fleeting moment because then cas is gone and dean is crying on the dungeon floor and that’s it. he never talks about it. he leaves the dungeon and locks the door behind him. their love forever imprisoned by who the fuck knows and it never sees the light of day.

the evolution of dean and cas' relationship is absolutely insane

amc iwtv cast truly a cast of all time: you have the australian vampire-obsessed blond guy who performed a frankly incomparable yassification on himself where he went from looking like the most Just Some Guy ever to the most insane cunt-serving limp-wristed bisexual slut the likes of which tv had never before seen; the british guy who took a somewhat dull character and made him the most depressed doe-eyed toxic-men-magnet meow meow on earth giving a lot of people several types of different complexes; the older guy who has apparently decided to larp as his own character and reveal increasingly more insane pieces of lore about his own life with every new interview he gives and who also appears to harbor genuine enthusiasm for the psychosexual gay relationship his character is likely to have in the future with a guy half his age; and the cutest girl on earth who’s probably the only (mostly) normal one

He’s so tired, let him rest

Dean Winchester & hug dynamic analysis

I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.

Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:

The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.

(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)

Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)

I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.

Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).

He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".

In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.

So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.

This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).

I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).

And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language: