HOME ; Kth

HOME ; kth

pairing: kim taehyung x reader

genre: ANGST!!!, exes2lovers

word count: approx. 2.5k

summary: you run into your ex-boyfriend at a bar. the only problem is that you are still very much in love with him. — anon‘s request is here.

warnings: so. much. angst., crying, alcohol, did i mention angst, kissing, swearing

songs i listened to whilst writing: hold me down — daniel caesar

a/n: my requests were close but anon requested heavy angst and i took that and ran with it. i LOVE writing angst because i enjoy inflicting pain! (just kidding) i hope you like it anon, and i’m sorry it took a while!!

Blind dates sucked ass.

That was the one thing you were sure of, as you sat at the bar, swirling a glass of water — you’d been tempted to order something stronger, because God, you were tired. It was Friday, and you’d had a long week at work. You hadn’t wanted to come on this stupid blind date anyway, but your best friend had insisted. You’d tried telling her that you still hadn’t really moved on from Him, but she wasn’t having it. So here you were, perched at a bar, completely sober and completely alone — the guy had stood you up.

It was humiliating, being the only person in the bar alone. Everybody else was with a group of friends, or with a partner; and judging by the pitying glances some people had thrown you, it was embarrassingly obvious that you’d been ditched.

You huffed our a breath and glanced at your watch. It had been fifty three minutes — it was time you accepted the dude wasn’t showing up. You downed the glass of water, and made to grab your purse — but before you could slide off the stool, a painfully familiar voice sounded behind you.

“YN?”

You froze, your back to the speaker, and a thousand thoughts raced through your mind, tumbling and tripping all over each other. And then you turned around and suddenly your chest was tight and your throat was closing and your eyes were stinging because it was Him, it was Kim Taehyung standing right in front of you.

The first thing you realised was that he looked good. No, good wasn’t the right word — he looked better than good. Even when the two of you had dated — because that’s what you were, you were exes — he had always been beautiful.

“Tae?” you croaked in surprise.

His already round eyes widened even further when you called him that, and you cursed yourself silently. You couldn’t call him that, not anymore.

“YN,” he repeated in a soft breath, lowering the mask on his face, and there was something you couldn’t read behind the surprise in his eyes.

He used to call you angel, not YN. He used to say it was because you were his guardian angel.

You let out a breathy laugh. “Wow — I — hi! What — what are you doing here?”

Taehyung smiled slightly and took a seat next to you at the bar. His jeans brushed your bare knee as he did so and you swallowed thickly. He gestured to the two people standing next to him, and with a jolt you realised it was Hobi and Jimin underneath those face masks. “You remember Hobi and Jimin, right?” Taehyung asked cautiously.

You nodded, reaching up to hug the two men tightly. “Yeah, of course I do!” Taehyung’s friends weren’t easy to forget. All six of them were so welcoming and bright and happy, that soon into your relationship, you’d felt they were your best friends too. You missed them.

Hobi and Jimin hugged you back tightly, full of how have you been and how is Jia, and how is your job and did you know how much we missed you.

Then Jimin exhaled and clapped his hands. “Hyung, let’s dance,” he declared, grabbing Hoseok and dragging him to the dance floor as you giggled.

Taehyung remained in his seat,and he quirked a brow at you, a habit you knew so well it hurt. “So, what are you doing here? On your own?”

You laughed slightly bitterly. “You remember my best friend Jia?” He nodded. “She set me up on some blind date today. The guy didn’t show up.”

Taehyung’s face dropped. “Bastard,” he cursed emphatically. “I’m sorry, angel.”

Both of you froze at the nickname, which had slipped so automatically off his tongue. You exhaled shakily and then shrugged. “Don’t be. I didn’t really want to be here anyway.”

You blinked and then decided to give Taehyung the easy way out of this conversation — you would leave and he could enjoy the rest of his night. “I was actually just about to leave.”

You made to get up, but a warm hand grabbing your own stopped you. “Wait!” Taehyung blurted. “At least let me buy you a drink,” he added slower. “I want — wanted to catch up. Only — only if you want to, of course!” he added hastily, and you could tell how flustered he was getting, with reddened cheeks and stumbling words.

You smiled softly. “I’d love to,” you said, and sat back down. Then you darted a glance to the dance floor — “They won’t mind?”

He shrugged. “Nah. I wouldn’t be able to keep up with their dancing anyway.”

“I don’t know,” you teased lightly. “From what I remember, you’re just as good as them.”

He shook his head vehemently, a laugh bubbling out of his chest. Something in your chest tightens at the sound, because God, you forgot how well you knew him. You knew every nervous habit, what every flick of the eyes meant — you knew he hated half the alcoholic drinks in existence, loved Bing Crosby — you knew how he’d dance to jazz music while he made you pancakes in the morning. You knew how he’d grab you by the arm and force you to dance with him. How he’d feed you a bite of anything he ordered, even if you ordered the same thing — how he’d insist of having a bite of your own and claim that yours tasted better.

There was a lump in your throat, and suddenly you couldn’t meet his eyes. Your eyes flicked to the bartender, who Taehyung had just flagged down.

“Soju for me, and…“ he glanced to you with an easy smile that sent your heart fluttering. “You still drink margaritas, right?”

You nodded, and as the bartender left, you couldn’t help a strained smile. “Can’t believe you still remember my order.”

Something in his face softened. “Of course I remember,” he murmured. And suddenly the air was thick with tension, thick with all the things the two of you never said, and all the things you did say.

The breakup last year was one of the hardest things that ever happened to you. You had never stopped loving Taehyung — how could you? He was so easy to love, so hard to hate. You couldn’t hate him — he could hate you, though. The way you left him; you were letting him go, because how could you make him stay with you? When he was one of the most famous men alive?

Simply put, he was too good for you, and while you knew that, he didn’t. He’d begged you to stay, and you hadn’t. It was really your decision to leave, and yet here you were with tears stinging the back of your eyes and your nails digging into the palm of your skin.

“Don’t do that,” he said suddenly, and he took your hands gently in his, carefully unfurling them so your nails were no longer digging onto your skin. “You’ll hurt yourself,” he murmured, but you could still hear him over the thumping bass in the bar.

You swallowed as you watched him bent over your hands. Your throat was closing up, painfully tight and no matter how much you swallowed, it stayed that way. “Taehyung,” you choked out, and he finally looked up from your hands, and his expression immediately morphed into one of concern.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said decisively, and throwing a bill down on the bar and shouting to the bartender to forget the drinks, he took your hand and led you outside the bar. Luckily, people were too wrapped up in each other to notice BTS’ V holding a random person’s hand.

He didn’t let go of your hand once the two of you were outside, either. Instead, he kept it in his as he pulled you down the street, and the scene was so familiar but so painful that you could have sobbed. The two of you had gone for late night walks often, and it had always been just like this — him leading the way, your hand tiny inside his. And then he’d tell you you looked cold and give you his stupid scarf, the scarf you still had at the back of your wardrobe because he had refused to take it back, telling you that you would be cold without it. What he didn’t know was that you felt cold without him.

Taehyung led you to a park bench — not just any park bench, your park bench, the same park bench the two of you always sat at, whether it was one of your midnight adventures or an afternoon walk or an early morning coffee shop visit. The two of you sat in silence, but he never released your hand. He clung to it tightly — you remembered that about him. He always clung to your hand like a lifeline, like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Before, you would have leant your head on his shoulder. Maybe asked him to sing for you. Ask him to cuddle you. No matter what you asked, he always did it without complaint — until you asked him to let you go.

Taehyung was the one to break the silence first. “You left without saying goodbye,” he whispered, and there was something so excruciatingly pained in the way his voice cracked that finally forced the tears out of your eyes until they were slipping down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out. “Tae, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I really — I don’t — ”

He cut you off with a gentle, “Shh.” And then he was pulling you into his arms, smoothing your hair down. “Don’t cry,” he begged. “Please don’t cry, I hate it when you cry. It’s okay, angel, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“It’s not,” you sobbed into his chest. “It’s not okay, I hurt you really bad and I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he repeated thickly, and that was when you realised he was crying too.

“I’m such a bitch,” you said angrily, pulling back and wiping tears from your face. “I hurt you so much and I didn’t even give you the reason.”

Because it was true — you hadn’t told Taehyung that you weren’t good enough for him; you knew he wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t believe it, and so you simply hadn’t given a reason, just asked him to let you go. And he’d fought you, begged you to stay, until both of your throats were hoarse from fighting and crying, and then he’d given in. “If that’s really what you want,” he’d said, and you had felt your heart shatter at those words because of course it wasn’t what you wanted. But you had needed to do it, for him.

“It’s okay,” he repeated now, carefully wiping tears from your cheek — in vain, though, because they just kept falling.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed again. “I’m really sorry, I should have told you why, I really don’t — ”

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s okay until you believe me?” he said sadly and he pulled you back against his chest, his arms wrapping around you tightly. You remembered him holding you like this all the time, and you’d told him, ages ago, it had made you feel safe. He’d loved that.

“I asked you to let me go because I thought I wasn’t good enough for you,” you confessed finally, your voice small, and muffled by the fabric of his clothes.

You felt him stiffen. “What?” he said sharply, and you sucked in a breath. You knew this would be exactly how he reacted.

He pulled back to cradle your face in his huge hands. “What the fuck, YN?” he said tightly. “You — you thought what? Why the fuck would you ever think that?”

Your eyes flicked away from his intense gaze, and again, you swallowed painfully. “I’m sorry,” you repeated, your voice small.

“Angel,” he whispered. “Look at me.”

You looked at him, looked at the tears filling his eyes and the tremble of his lips. He was so close to you, so close that it hurt.

“You idiot,” he saidsoftly, without any real feeling behind it. “You were — you are — always, always enough for me. You were more than enough for me, you made me so fucking happy! You were everything to me, why couldn’t you see that? Why can’t you see that?”

Your only response was to hitch a breath, voice breaking as you murmur his name. “Tae...”

But he wasn’t finished. “If anything, I’m sorry,” he said thickly. “That I didn’t show you enough how much you meant to me.”

You shook your head. “No. No, that’s not true, you showed me it more than enough times, Tae, this wasn’t your fault.”

And then he dropper his head on your shoulder, pushing it into the crook of your neck, and you held him there, suddenly overwhelmed with memories because the two of you had sat here on this same park bench in the same position countless times, but this time it was killing you both.

“I’m sorry,” he was mumbling into your neck. “Please don’t go.”

The last sentence stole your breath, because you were thrust back to the memory of that night, the night where you left him. He’d asked you a thousand times, please don’t go. And then he’d said he’d let you go, but he‘d asked you to stay one last night, and he’d looked so heartbroken you didn’t have the heart to refuse him. And so you slept one last night in his arms, wtih his head pushed into the crook of your neck and the remnants of tears on both your faces. You’d woken up before him, and his limbs were entangled with yours and he was holding you so tightly, like he was afraid you would slip away.

He was right. You did exactly that. You slipped out of his arms. You made him pancakes, and left them on the kitchen surface. And then you’d pressed one gentle kiss to the forehead of the sleeping man, and walked straight out of his life.

“YN, angel, please,” he said now, raising his head to look you in the eye beseechingly. “Please, can we try again? I need you, it always hurts without you with me, I really need you.”

You hesitated, and then you wiped the tears form your face and tried a shaky smile. “Yes. Yes, please, I want to try again, I want to stay with you.”

Something in his face brightened and he pulled you into his arms even tighter Han before and then he was kissing the top of your head over and over, whispering, ”God, I missed you like hell.”

“I missed you too,” uou whispered hoarsely into him, and then the two of you leant back to look each other in the eye. You don’t know how made the first move, just that suddenly the two of you were kissing, melting into each other — and finally, the tightness in your chest loosened. You were home.

More Posts from Hugoraph and Others

hugoraph

3 years ago

“You change universities after moving towns. Your new university is an old, ancient building with secret tunnels and whispered ghost stories. There are two fraternities, which for some reason always seem to be in a quarrel. Alpha consisting of Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin and Min Yoongi. Handsome, porcelain skinned men, who act as if they are out of another century and for some reason everyone on campus seems to be scared of. And Sanguis consisting of Jeon Jungkook, Kim Seokjin and Jung Hoseok. Men with skin just as pale and their faces just as beautiful, who always wear sunglasses when it is light outside and who never seem to open their curtains. And for some peculiar reason you always find yourself in the middle of them….”

Pairing: OT7 x f.Reader with main Taehyung x f.Reader

Genre: Mystery, Fantasy, Romance, Smut, University!AU, Vampire!AU

Warnings: This story contains very sexually explicit scenes, cursing, blood & blood drinking, morally grey characters, violence and death. If you are sensitive to such topics I advice you read with care.

Wordcount: in-progress

~ New chapters will be posted every Wednesday & Saturday at 5pm CET! ~

#01 - Initium

#02 - Rendezvous

#03 - Brunch

#04 - Schauspiel

#05 - Turbatio

#06 - Swing

#07 - Sidus

#08 - Prandiculum

#09 - Parasomnia

#10 - Rain

Keep reading

3K notes View Post

hugoraph

3 years ago

SENTENCE STARTERS INSPIRED BY QUEEN SONGS

part one — angst

“please stay a while”

“don't lose your heart”

“so sad it ends as it began”

“how I loved you, how I cried”

“you'll get forgotten on the way”

“love of my life, don't leave me”

“was it all wasted? all that love?”

“I have no heart, I'm cold inside”

“you're the victim of your crime”

“each morning I get up I die a little”

“save me I can't face this life alone”

“it's always a rainy day without you”

“someday, one day, we'll come home”

“you've captured my love, stolen my heart”

“I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be”

“I've been facing this alone for much too long”

“because you don't know what it means to me”

“who dares to love forever, when love must die?”

“if I can't go to heaven will they let me go to hell?”

“funny how love can break your heart so suddenly”

“I've been looking back to find where I went wrong”

“I would surely die if you dismiss me from your love”

“there's nothing in this world to be sure of anymore”

“too much love will kill you just as sure as none at all”

“it started off so well, they said we made a perfect pair”

“for every star in heaven there's a sad soul here today”

“so please don't go, don't leave me here all by myself”

“one day we're loving each other then we're fighting one another”

“I was looking for some good old satisfaction, but pain is all I got”

“I used to bring you sunshine now all I ever do is bring you down”

“don't you hear my call? though you're many years away don't you hear me calling you?”

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hugoraph

3 years ago

WOAHHHH, another masterpiece chapter from sibi!!! i LOVE LOVE how fluffy and sweet the beginning of this chapter is and then we get the nasty angsty ending but IT IS VERY MUCH WELL WRITTEN!! KEEP GOING SIBI, I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCH <333

↳ Index [Chapter 13 - Sunshine]

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader

Warnings: cute domestic moments, Taehyung being a master in seduction, he is also whipped for her, THEIR DOMESTIC MOMENTS MAKE ME SCREAM, but also feelings of betrayal, slight violence and a fight :(

Wordcount: 8.8k

a/n: i am going to punch a pillow

You open your eyes and blink in the bright room. You inhale deeply.

“Mhm pancakes”, you murmur and yawn, “that’d be cool right now."

Dishes clatter and only then do you realise that your bedroom door is open and the smell of pancakes actually comes from your kitchen. You lift your head and furrow your brows. Well, this is interesting. You ought to check it out.

"Good morning, did you have a pleasant night?” Taehyung greets you before you can, having his back turned to you. He must have heard you come outside. Vampire hearing and all (again the books you read educated you a lot).

“Are you making pancakes?” you ask, waddling over to him.

You look into the pan and over to the plate on which pancakes are already stacked. They look different, let’s put it that way.

Taehyung sneaks a glance your way.

“That look says that you aren’t pleased with the results.”

“No, they uh, look interesting”, you assure him, “I like how the edges are burned and the middle is still white. I never had them this way before."

"Are you mocking me?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“I’m not” you assure him and chuckle fondly, “they look good, don’t worry."

Taehyung clicks his tongue in distaste and looks back at the pan. He flips the pancake, cringing when the edges turn out burned and the middle white again. You chuckle, giving his middle a quick hug as you press a chaste kiss to his shoulder. You make your way to the fridge afterwards and open it to get the milk.

Taehyung fills up the pan with new dough in the meantime. The faint sizzling is almost relaxing in the otherwise quiet room.

"You know, you don’t need to cook for me. I’m happy with getting a soggy sandwich from the store”, you say and pour water into your water cooker, “as long as I can have my cup of tea, I’m happy.”

“I can’t accept that. A soggy sandwich from the store is below you”, he murmurs.

You sneak a glance his way, having to grin. Of course it is. With your grin still embedded on your face, you sort through your tea cabinet.

“Do you want a cup too?” you ask him.

“Oh, that would be wonderful”, he says, flipping the pancake, “aha!” he exclaims.

You look at him, “what is it?”

“You see, this one looks fairly decent”, he says proudly, tilting the pan so you could take a look at the (surprisingly) golden pancake.

“Ooh, I’m impressed, you mastered the skill on the last pancake. Congrats”, you say, having to chuckle.

Taehyung sends you a look of distaste and clicks his tongue.

“Mock me all you want, I’m not the one having to eat them”, he murmurs.

You scoff and laugh in disbelief, leaning against the counter.

“So I have to eat them? Is that so?”

Taehyung looks at you from the corner of his eyes, wanting to stay serious but having to grin in the end. He chuckles and shakes his head.

You turn your attention back to the two tea cups, pouring the hot water over the teabags and watching them dye the water golden brown.

You feel happy, which is funny because you can’t seem to remember the last time you felt this kind of happy. The warm kind of happy, the one that makes you smile all the time and no matter what you do, you just can’t stop smiling.

Keep reading

↳ Index [Chapter 12 - Breakdown]

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader

Genre: Smut, Romance, tiny Angst in the beginning

Warnings: dom!Taehyung, fingering, dirty talk, consensual use of vampire compulsion, basically she wants him to make her “really horny for him by using his vampire hormones” and he does, rough yet passionate sex, sex on a kitchen table, multiple orgasms (f.recieving), multiple positions, cumplay, sweet aftercare and pillowtalk

Wordcount: 8.7k

a/n: honestly at this point I am *yells*

You startle awake. Someone just rang your doorbell. You close your eyes again and settle back in your pillow. It was probably just a dream.

It rings again.

Your eyes flit open, brows knitting. Or perhaps not. Groaning in annoyance, you sit up.

"Huh."

You just realised. You have no recollection of when you went to bed. It is like you walked into your apartment and blacked out. How peculiar.

It rings again.

“Who the frick?” you ask, not even realizing that you asked a question.

You get out of bed and drag your feet out of your bedroom. You don’t even bother turning on the lights, the moon is bright enough to illuminate your apartment.

It rings again.

“Coming”, you murmur, knowing very well they won’t be able to hear you.

You take a peek through the spy first.

Taehyung.

Keep reading

I’m Not Yours | kth. masterlist

“When the rain stops you shine on me, your light’s the only thing that keeps the cold out.”

↠ pairing : Kim Taehyung x Female Reader

↠ summary : When your childhood best friend, Kim Taehyung moves back into town, you expect the next few years to be reminiscent of your younger years. Awkward, tense and quiet. What you don’t expect is being forced to distract him from his overbearing crush on your mutual best friend, Eunji.

↠ genre : university au, estranged childhood friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, idiots to lovers, art student!taehyung, literature student!reader, angst, fluff & smut

↠ rating : 18+

↠ warnings : swearing, mentions of anxiety and depression, bad & toxic friends, lots of feelings, small forms of violence (with other characters), explicit sexual content. (additional warnings will be given with each chapter!)

↠ banner : by the sweetest @lavienvante 🤎 thank you so much for making me the prettiest banner!! <3 go check out her works 🤎

↠ a/n : here is the masterlist for my first series! i am beyond excited to share this with you & i hope you enjoy this journey as much as i do! happy reading <3

↠ series song : christmas tree - taehyung (the lyrics fit this series oh so perfectly 🤎)

❦ chapter 1 : a lane in the public gardens at arles - 1888 [7K]

❦ chapter 2 : water lilies and japanese bridge - 1899 [10K]

❦ chapter 3 : the weeping woman - 1937 [coming soon…]

❦ chapter 4 : at eternity’s gate - 1890

❦ chapter 5 : poppy field - 1886

❦ chapter 6 : the night cafe - 1888

❦ chapter 7 : snow at argenteuil - 1874

❦ chapter 8 : almond blossoms - 1890

❦ chapter 9 : the artist’s garden at giverny - 1900

❦ chapter 10 : view from the artist’s window - 1823

❦ epilogue : the starry night - 1889

❦ extras :

↠ glossary - a closer insight to the iny!world & characters. here you can find the answers to any important questions and information about the characters. this will be added to as the story goes on.

↠ playlist - have a listen to their songs (thank you @lavienvante for helping 🤎)

↠ your thoughts - a collection of our thoughts

start date : 30.12.21 || 00:00 KST

finish date :

↠ FAQ :

how often will you update?

updates for this series will be random! i will be writing as much as i can in my free time. i am busy right now with my jobs & uni, so my updates will be scheduled around that. i do however, work on this series daily and love seeing what everyone has to say about it <3

how i envision y/n & eunji?

here you can find moodboards that portray how i personally see both y/n & eunji !! you’re all open to your own interpretation of course, but i wanted to share mine :) feel free to show me how you paint them in your minds!

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hugoraph

3 years ago

I've decided to write this for the mere possibility of saving someone's life, not just from Ukraine, these guidelines will help you if you ever find yourself under bombing/rocket/missile threat.

1. It is important to know where the attack is coming from, that is, the general direction (north, south, east etc.), and, if known, how much time do you have in order to reach safety. This information will be helpful for the next steps.

2. Your best option is always A SHELTER. Some European underground railway stations classify as ones.

3. If you don't have a shelter/can't reach one fast enough - find a stairwell, like the one in multi-story buildings, climb at least two floors up from the entrance or two floors down from upmost floor. STAY AWAY from windows, glass coating or any openings.

4. Can't get to a stairwell? Opt for the innermost, most window-less room of your house. If your know the direction of the attack find the room that meets the requirements above farthest away from that direction. Again, stay away from windows, glass objects or anything that might fall or shatter in case of explosion.

5. If you are out in the open and can not reach any of the above, lie flat on the ground, facing away from the direction of the attack, hands over (protecting) your head. It is important to remain like this even in a case of nearby explosion - explosion wave thrust goes up, lying on the ground might protect you from debris and projectiles.

6. If you find yourself under attack while driving, safely pull over and follow options 2-5.

7. DO NOT. Under no circumstances. Emerge from your place of shelter before official state authorities gave a clear.

Some of these instructions are very simple, but can and will save you! Stay alert, be prepared, follow official authorities' guidelines, and most important, protect yourself and stay safe.

3K notes View Post

hugoraph

3 years ago

Cooking For Two (KSJ x F!Reader)

pairing: ex-boyfriend Seokjin! x reader genre(s): just angst... i'm sorry au(s): exes to exes word count: 1.3k warnings: lots of regret, pining, misunderstandings, mentions of a past fight, Seokjin gets burned, both literally and figuratively rating: PG15

summary: based on this tweet, "seokjin the type to make too much pasta after a breakup because he's used to cooking for two" T_T

a/n: i was itching to write some good angst... and my muse (aka Jin) responded! this is sad, and i made myself cry. tagging @beckysworld7 because you encouraged me hehe <3 this is pretty unedited btw

Seokjin's ears fill with a loud hiss, tearing his gaze away from the soft patter of rain outside his window, and back to the boiling water on the stove. His eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the water overflowing and sizzling on the hot stove top. Cursing internally, he chastises himself for not remembering to put a wooden spoon over the top. It was a habit he rarely forgot, until, of course, his life had been tossed so far afield that he had lost all sense of familiarity.

And so, he continued on, fighting tooth and nail to hold on to the parts of his life that defined who he was before it had happened. However, the breakup had left him broken, empty, watching you take the best parts of him, of you both, and throw them away like they’d never meant anything at all.

He reaches over to pull the frothing pot off the stove, yelping as the blistering heat of the hot metal kisses his bare skin. Shaking his hand, he yells in pain and runs cold water over the burn, searching for some sort of relief. The taste of ash coats his mouth, and he’s not sure whether it’s from the pasta he’d nearly burnt, or the acrid memories that have begun to rise up from the deep place he’d buried them so many months ago.

Pappardelle with homemade bolognese sauce. He’d made the dish a thousand times before. It had been your favorite after every night out, every big celebration, even on rainy days, like today, when you weren't feeling well. The fresh, al dente noodles and the simmering hearty sauce were irrevocably tied to the memory of your relationship, each bite creating a different snapshot in his brain of times that had passed long ago.

Every Friday night since the last time he saw you, Seokjin made two bowls of pasta, sitting alone at the dining table, breathless and begging for you to walk through the door. Waiting until the steaming bowls ran cold, he finally accepted that you weren't coming today. After finishing one bowl, he'd put away the other one, sneaking bites of the cold, rubbery dough throughout the weekend; coming home from another failed date, or right before bed when the longing was at its worst.

He heard Namjoon’s voice in the back of his head, chastising him that the way he was living wasn’t healthy, that it’d been too long since you had gone. Seokjin knew his friend was right. But Seokjin didn’t know how to live his life without you, just like he’d never known how to only make one serving of your favorite recipe. And so he sat there, in the oppressive loneliness of the apartment you two had once shared, and lost himself.

Shuddering from the cold, he gazes over to the warm, calm flames that burn in the fireplace. At the end of it all, he hadn’t even remembered what caused the fight that ended it - all he remembers was the rage, the inferno that had erupted between the two of you. It was like nothing he had experienced before - hot, angry, and scathing. Blazing down everything in its path. The bitter stench of regret had settled deep inside his lungs as your footsteps ran out and closed the door behind you.

The doorbell rings, followed by the distinct sound of three rhythmic knocks, and Seokjin freezes.

Swinging the door open, his dazed mind wonders if it’s all been a dream. Because it’s you, cheeks red from the cold, bundled up in the plaid scarf and red mittens he’d gotten you for your very first Christmas together. You look beautiful, and Seokjin’s heart hurts all over again. Because you’re not his to love anymore.

You look towards his downturned gaze, and immediately think to yourself that it was a mistake coming here. The two of you stand on opposite sides of the threshold, forced into an impasse of your own doing.

Deciding to break the silence, you clear your throat, and Jin’s glassy eyes meet yours, pain contained within their umber depths.

“I’m so sorry for showing up like this,” you gasp, not realizing the words come out as a sob. “But I was making a dish, umm, the pappardelle with bolognese. And I realized I left the Le Creuset pot with you.”

Taking a deep breath, you force air into your lungs, mustering up the strength to continue while feeling the tears prick your eyelashes.

“You probably don’t want to give it back,” you mumble in the smallest voice you can manage. “And it’s unfair of me to ask for it, but I needed to make something for a thing I have to go to and I remembered you, uhmm, I mean your recipe.”

Peering through your lids at Seokjin, you watch him gulp as he tries to force a response, struggling to get the words out.

“I have the pot,” he garbles, voice hoarse. “Take it, and don’t worry about the pasta. I made some. You can have it too.”

Looking your ex-boyfriend in the eyes, the man you thought you’d have forever with, a sob escapes your throat, and your heavy breaths echo in the frosty air as he waits for you to respond.

“W-what do you mean take it?” you whimper, fingers itching underneath your mittens to reach out and brush a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.

“I make it every Friday,” he whispers. “Two bowls. You can take the other bowl with you.”

You watch him disappear into the apartment, coming back out with a sizzling pot of pasta in his hands. He pauses, visage lost deep in contemplation, before the lines in his face disappear and he gives you a soft smile.

“Or,” he goes on. “You could come in and have some with me? There’ll probably be enough leftovers for you to take home with you.”

You feel a pit in your stomach at his proposition, glancing over at his pretty eyes and parted lips as they hopefully await your response.

Looking away, you stare down the hall of the apartment complex, not wanting to meet his gaze as you push your red mitten to the side and Seokjin catches a glimpse at your blanched fingers.

A sparkling, oval-cut diamond sits on your left ring finger, and through your pounding heartbeat, you hear Seokjin let out a pained whine.

“I-, I’m so sorry, Jin. I never should have come,” you weep, knowing that if you looked him in the eyes one more time, you’d fall in love all over again.

Turning on your heels, you leave him devastated, thoughts swimming with uncertainty about the fiancé waiting for you in the parlor of his parents’ house. Knowing deep in your soul that part of your heart would forever belong to the man you left at the threshold, clutching the steaming dish in his hands.

Slamming the pot onto the counter, Jin chokes on his tears, heaving in between deep breaths as he watches you run away through the window.

Lifting the spoon to his lips, he inhales a large bite of the dish, hoping to nurse his broken heart, only to have a dull flavorless bite coat his tongue. He’d forgotten the salt. Mourning the loss of his finesse for the dish that had once warmed his heart, he can’t help but remark at the forfeit of his love for you as well.

He feels rage overtake him, throwing the pot against the wall. The tasteless rubbery mess along with the shattered remnants of the last item of yours he’d kept painting a gut-wrenching portrait as he slumps to the floor.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, tears leaking from his eyes as his whole body shakes.

When the clock strikes midnight, Seokjin rises, picking up the bland mess in his hands and throwing it in the trash. For good.

A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

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hugoraph

3 years ago

this screams art student taehyung so much im sick crying rn