To Be Me But Never Be.
To be me but never be.
Second tier. Afterthought.
A message? Maybe. Probably not.
Pretty good. Good enough.
Forever second-guessing.
Oh, you’re still here?
Definitely likeable.
Totally forgot you told me that.
One-sided connection.
Do you really know me?
Do you want to? Or care to?
More Posts from Humanity-in-the-absurd-hour and Others
Dearest swirly brain,
I know that most days you hate yourself.
You hate feeling so out of control, so burdensome.
Dark fog and rapid heat consume every fold, every corner.
You want peace, or relief.
But dearest swirly brain, you are more.
You are a culmination of decades of feelings and LIFE.
Vibrancy and light and contrast.
You are always moving.
Evolving. Changing. Learning.
You are so wildly and authentically human.
“How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”
— Nina LaCour / Hold Still (via bnmxfld)
Ivan Pokidyshev Silence, 2023 Oil on canvas.
"We have art in order not to die of the truth..."
![[ID: A timeline labeled "Hyperfixation timeline". All of the font is Comic Sans. Each point of the timeline points to a box with an accompanying doodle.
The first point of the timeline is labeled "so much yapping and theorizing and connecting the dots and—", accompanied by an unhinged person at a corkboard. Their pupils are red and staring at the viewer. The label and line on the timeline is also red. The line on the timeline goes up sharply.
The second point of the timeline is labeled "I can't believe I did all of that. That was embarrassing.", accompanied by the person staring awkwardly at the viewer. The line on the timeline goes down sharply. The text and line are black.
The third point of the timeline is labeled "Oh god fuck I can feel it coming back", accompanied by the person holding their chest as if they were having a heart attack. The label is black, but the line is a dark red. The line creeps upwards again, but then goes back down.
The fourth point of the timeline is labeled "Haha that was actually just a bluff", accompanied by the person laughing. The line is flat. The text and line are black.
The fifth and final point of the timeline is labeled "hyperfixation demon", accompanied by the person looking upwards at the timeline in fear as the hyperfixation demon (drawn in red) lurks behind them. The label has an arrow pointing to the hyperfixation demon. The line and label are in red, with the line going up sharply again. /END ID]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5b099ddd89fafa38e59d28d37447365b/10c045dec53faaaf-20/s500x750/ca5f22136f33011993266677f34c2d203e12b9a2.png)
What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.
Kinda wild how most people generally recognize that the "too sick to go to school, too sick to watch tv/play games" mindset our parents had was bullshit but still impose essentially the exact same rules on disabled adults and scrutinize them for enjoying low-energy hobbies while being too fatigued or in pain to work a full time job (or any job at all)
need to eat out an anxious over-achiever girl so good she sleeps for hours while i cook her food in the underwear she just came in
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Musings and suchSHE/HER | AUS | ND | QUEER | ART | WORDS
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