Curate, connect, and discover
Neurodivergent - Blog Posts
it sucks how neurodiversity terms have become misused by neurotypicals, and then when i show my struggle with that actual thing, I get treated like I'm dramatic. I'm tired man :/ like no janis, you're not going non-verbal just because you stopped talking willingly. if you are non-verbal you cannot speak at all verbally. (I'm not non verbal tho so could be wrong) if you mean situational mutism, that feels like someone taped my fucking mouth shut, and I would not be able to talk then to save my life. I'm tired of seeing the terms non-verbal, overstimulated, hyperfixation, and the like misused. ughhhh
the elvis blog is getting to me. I was stimming a lot earlier (because I was excited about tomodachi life 2) and I was running in circles while repeating "woah mama" a bunch. it's a vocal stim now help
I got a new canopy :) this totally isn't an excuse to show off my favorite stuffed animals that I keep close to me when I sleep bc one of my special interests is plushies haha what. (Also musicals is one for me too and playbill blanket.) Shoutout to my lovely husband for crocheting me the bee that's pictured :]
doing all my homework in a few hour period that I was supposed to be working on over the past 3 weeks then letting myself engage in my hyperfixation as a little treat
why can anxiety cause psychical symptoms. why is it allowed to do that. i don't like that. no
any other neurodivergent (mainly autism and/or adhd) people unable to consume content normally.
like my dad will just?? watch something and be like "yeah that was good" then move on?? And then there's me, who will consume something, stare at a wall for a bit, and then rapidly try to consume any content I can find of it. Fanart, fanfiction, c.ai bots, memes, youtube videos... and if I can't find any I get upset. And I rewatch/reread/etc it over and over again and obsess over it for days. It's not even a hyperfixation rn I am just unable to consume media normally
also why am I the only posts on the raining knives tag since 2020 where is the fandom this comic deserves a fandom wtf it's so good I need content of it pls my little audhd brain cannot /silly
should i write a wattpad smut novel or do my homework and graduate highschool what do yall think.
Sitting on my couch, nothing at all is happening... I don't work tomorrow... But my heart is racing and so are my thoughts... Wishing I knew how to change my life so that who I am can be who I am, freely expressing and enjoying who I am... So I don't have to worry about the future... So I don't have to have an autopilot for worrying and fear...
High School Art Project #1 "Self Deterioration"
High School Art Project #2 "Paradigm Shift"
having an autism meltdown all by yourself handsome?
I don't know if this is normal but because I'm trans, and have autism, adhd plus more stuff I don't wanna talk about I will literally headcanon all my favorite characters as trans and autistic I think it's because there's pretty much no representation out there for people like me so I'll just imagine all my favorite characters being like me cuz why the hell not?
Okay hi sorry, I know it’s probably too early to ask but if you were to look at my art, would you be happy to commission me? (Either way, I cant do anything right now since I don’t even… have a bank account-)
The thing is, I’m trying to get a job to support my family as well as stuff for school, but recently my family told me that due to my “problems” (most likely meaning my autism and anxiety) they think I’m incapable of working and refuse to give me a chance to try
(…which unfortunately is affecting my own mental health too since I feel quite useless at the moment ^^’)
so I’m trying out different ways to work, and since they at least seem supportive of me drawing, I want to attempt commissions :)
I also appreciate any advice for work if anyone is willing to give! sorry once again!
|| Oh yeah this is accurate ||
What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.
₊˚✩彡 intro post?! ⋰˚☆
◞┈┈┈⋆┈┈⊰✩⊱┈┈⋆┈┈┈◟
Basic info
ᯓ★ call me Nat/Nathaniel/Discoball
ᯓ★ HE/HIM S'IL VOUS PLAÎT!!
ᯓ★ i am trans
ᯓ★ kinlist: Yuga Aoyama, Yuga Aoyama, Yuga Aoyama etc
ᯓ★ i mostly post aoyama content (OFC), but i also draw sometimes
ᯓ★ byf: i may often be repulsed by romance. (I am aromantic myself) if you mostly post abt it, please dont follow
DNI: basic+procomshippers
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Not-so-useful info
-͟͟͞☆ i have a huge amount of oddly specific aoyama headcanons. most of them is just me projecting
-͟͟͞☆ i MAY be nd. (Its just hard to get diagnosed in my country)
-͟͟͞☆ im gay. idk who needs it but here you go
-͟͟͞☆ i have 3 discoballs in my room
⠀°.✩┈┈∘*┈୨୧┈*∘┈┈✩.°
a pretty gap to take space☆
◝┈┈┈⋆┈┈⊰✩⊱┈┈⋆┈┈┈◜
“Our family is so normal”
“We’re all perfectly neurotypical”
THEN EXPLAIN THIS
Sensory overload （ ; ; ）
I hate the world. It’s so hard to function. The big trip yesterday has left me feeling very overwhelmed and overstimulated and now I have another day at college. I feel like I’m two steps away from having a sensory overload! I hate how neurotypical the world is as it’s the most difficult place to function!
I wanna go back home and regress so I can safely cry my eyes out and feel as frustrated and overwhelmed as I want in a safe space. Then I’d have my stuffies for comfort and I could have a nap after all the crying and overwhelming feelings. I wanna be in little space so badly I don’t have a cg and I can’t tell my friends or family cause of what it is. Life feels so difficult for me at the moment and I hate it.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day/night and stay safe!
Teacher: No talking during the test.
Me and my autistic friend who sometimes go nonverbal: *sign language*
(tw : brief mention of faking mental health issues)
I think it's valid.
There are many people who can't access an official diagnosis of their mental disabilities for various reasons such as, poverty, being part of another marginalised group (women/poc etc), being a minor with unsupportive or unwilling parents and the list goes on. Some people simply don't want to and I get why. An official diagnosis can limit you in many ways such as travel, healthcare, education etc. An official diagnosis can also make you more prone to ableism from the government, schools and workplaces.
Either way, self diagnosis is extremely important whether you choose to pursue an official diagnosis or not.
(Side note : I don't think it matters in the grand scheme of things if someone fakes a mental disorder for attention. Of course, it is disrespectful and you shouldn't do it but people with mental disorders barely get support anyway so what would they exactly be taking away from us? Stim toys? The only thing I can think of is therapists but there aren't many that specialise in disability so 🤷 I think the only time it could be considered a bad thing is if they're spread harmful misinformation like if you're gonna fake something, at least make it believable. To be honest, I feel bad for those who fake a disorder / disability because they might be so attention starved that they would do that.)
I'm still working up the courage to ask my mum if I can get tested because this is a genuine part of my day to day life, and my school psychologist said it might be a good idea. I live the way you wrote this btw!! It's awesome!!!
growing up autistic / growing up gaslit
I.
this is the first lesson you learn: you are always wrong.
there is no electric hum buzzing through the air. there is no stinging bite to the sweetness of the mango. there is no bitter metallic tang to the water.
there is no cruelty in their laughter, no ambiguity in the instructions, no reason to be upset. there is no bitter aftertaste to your sweet tea, nothing scratchy about your blanket.
the lamps glow steadily. they do not falter.
II.
this is the second lesson you learn: you are never right.
you are childish, gullible, overly prone to tears. you are pedantic, combative, deliberately obtuse. you are lazy, unreliable, never on time.
you’re always making up excuses, rudely interrupting, stepping on people’s shoes. you’re always trying to get attention, never thinking about anyone else, selfish through and through.
it’s you that’s the problem. the lamps are fine.
III.
this is the third lesson you learn: you must always give in.
mother knows best. father knows best. doctor knows best. teacher knows best. this is the proper path. do not go astray.
listen to your elders, respect your betters, accept what’s given to you as your due. bow to the wisdom of experience, the education of the professional, the clarity of an external point of view.
what do you know about lamps, anyway?
tumblr was made for my flavor of neurodivergence
also does anyone have brainrot as a vocal stim because i can’t stop saying “what the gyatt”
Wanted to make my first actual talking post cause I need y'all to know that this space is safe for those who may not feel welcome in their own communities.
No matter anything, you are loved.
Aspec people? Your love is so different from what others expect it to be, and if you're loveless you're so so valid and I love you in the same way I love the universe. Asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, asensual, every a- out there: you're not broken. You're not wrong for being yourself and I love you like all the stars in the sky, so many more than what's visible.
Alterhumans? No matter what/who you are, you're beautiful for exploring your identity as something non-human, human-adjacent, or human in a different flavor! You're amazing and wonderful and I'm so proud of you for even considering being yourself in a world not built for you. Human, animal, object, concept, doesn't matter because you still deserve respect and love. I love you like all the little bugs I find outside, all beautiful and free.
People with conflicting labels? You're so cool. I don't care if you identify as a man and a lesbian at the same time. I don't care if you identify as a woman and a gay bear at the same time. I don't care how you identify, you're a living being and you're just as valid as everyone else. I love you like trinkets, all so unique and beautiful in your own ways.
Systems? You're spectacular and no origin of system or headmate could change my mind. Your system came about from trauma? I'm so proud of you for coping with your trauma and living your life happier and healthier with others that can support you. No trauma? That's okay! It's none of anyone else's business how you came about, what matters is that you're living your life the best way you can and I'm so proud of you. I love you like yarn, all so wonderful and varying and full of endless possibility.
Disabled people? Your disabilities don't make you any less deserving of respect and love, no matter what anyone says. You don't need to prove your usefulness to anyone that actually deserves to know you. You're allowed to be "useless". Your existence is a blessing even though I know it can be so difficult or impossible to do even basic tasks, and your worth is way beyond whatever anyone tells you you "should" be able to do. I love you like plushies, made to love and be loved, made to exist.
Neurodivergent people? You're so strong. This world was not built for your mind that varies so greatly from what's expected of you. Those of you that have a "dangerous" disorder, you're so valued and I'm so proud of you for being your best self, no matter those that say you're insane or manipulative just for being yourself. I love you like nature, unpredictable or scary to those unwilling to understand, you're beautiful not despite your brain but in tandem with it.
Xenogenders? You're epic. It's so awesome that you've been able to identify with concepts, objects, animals, characters, literally anything! You can be anything! Isn't that amazing? I don't care if it's cringe, I don't care. You're being yourself and that's so amazing. I love you like art, found in every place you look if you're looking with an open mind.
Religious people? It's so amazing that you've found something to believe in that helps you live your best life. As long as you're not using your religion to put others down, you have my support. It's so spectacular that you have something you believe in. Please don't let anyone take that away from you. I love you like rainbows, a miracle of life and a wonderful sight to see.
People with personality disorders? You're so valid. Granted I don't know much, but I do know that you deserve love and respect just as much as anyone else. No matter how misunderstood or mistreated, you're safe here. I'm always willing to learn and understand how to be a good person to everyone, no matter how "scary" you are. You're wonderful and I hope you know that. I love you like the ocean, full of so much vastness and beauty below the surface.
I love you I love you I love you!!!
However,
If you are a shitty person who forces yourself onto others or thinks that others are below you for what they believe in, do NOT be anywhere near my page. If you are any sort of -phobic, any sort of "minor liking person", any sort of asshole: I will automatically block you and you are NOT welcome here.
If you use my wholesome post to start drama or controversy I will block you. This is not a safe space for you if that is your intent.
This page is for loving, not hating.
“My socks are inside out, and my thoughts are on the walls!”
I say this with love: trying to communicate effectively with Neurotypicals is so strange.
Asked the pharmacist a question about lozenges for a sore throat and while I was (paraphrased) asking "Can I take more than 1 lozenge because sometimes the first one doesn't coat the spot that's a little bit sore (read: kinda scratchy and a little bit irritated)" she seemed to understand my question as "Hey, my throat hurts so badly that I need to take multiple lozenges to fix it, what should I use?" despite me reiterating it didn't hurt, it was just sore, and that I didn't need something stronger, just that I needed something to coat it better.
Does 'sore' and 'hurt' really mean the same thing to them? Cause in my brain, sore is a mild inconvenience, but hurt is something that needs immediate attention. I don't get it
I've been learning to like foods that I was scared of or thought were gross as a kid, and it's kind of fun.
For the longest time I thought bell peppers were something that I would only enjoy cooked. Same with tomatoes, but I'm starting to like them both raw too, now. Toss a couple sticks of bell pepper on a wrap, some sliced tomato on a burger. It's nice. With both of them, I had that initial fire alarm in my head going "Nooo this is doing to taste bad, Do Not Put That In Your Mouth" but I shoved past it and found it wasn't so bad. Little successes in life.
And sure, maybe I still only like the bell pepper sticks in wraps, and the tomatoes have to be sliced pretty thin (or salted), but I'm trying new things, and eating more vegetables, and I think that counts for something. Maybe my next Brave Adventure will be trying to eat onions raw too
oh so tumblr has decided to make me self aware today
“Ah sorry I’m just dumb” (having ADHD my whole life has meant that I’ve been criticised heavily for making mistakes that come part and parcel with the condition. Even the people I love most in the world have chastised me for mistakes that I spend much of my life worrying about and trying to avoid. It’s much easier to tell you I’m just a silly guy than explain to you that no matter how much effort, how much thought, how much stress I put into avoiding these same mistakes, I will keep making them over and over again. My brain is structurally built to thwart me throughout it all.)
Me personally, I love the fact that my boss accidentally hired staff that are ⅓ adhd survivors.
I say this as I myself am an adhd survivor.
Survivor because it's like there's a gremlin on my shoulder making me do things impulsively. I'm a survivor.
...
ANYway-
on colors and being different and not being enough for yourself
(please reblog instead of liking)
You know, I don’t think I’ve seen any fandom hate the target of their fanning like the Thrawn fandom. And I don’t mean comments like “you magnificent bastard, you!” (because if there’s anyone deserving of the moniker, it’s Thrawn, lol) I mean things like “he’s an arrogant piece of crap and deserves to be mocked” or “I hope Filoni humiliates him” or “he’s a moron and I hate him.”
I think part of what’s happening is that he’s a morally complex character in a time where moral nuance is deeply unpopular. People see the world in terms of heroes and villains. Good and evil. Luke Skywalker and Emperor Palpatine. There’s no space for someone who isn’t exactly good but isn’t entirely evil, either (which is not only more reflective of how human beings actually work, but was the entire POINT of Thrawn in the first place, lol). He works for the empire? He’s evil. 100%. His reasons for doing what he does don’t matter, he’s scum.
That and people really just don’t “get” him. It makes sense—within Jungian typology he’s the archetypal INTJ, leading with subjective, seeminingly mystical and otherworldly visions/ideals only he understands; he uses impersonal and unfeeling logic as his main tool; he refuses or is unable to understand/acquiesce to societal pressure; and his emotions, motives, and values are very private. I suppose it’s no surprise, then, that fans gravitate toward conventional, familiar, “safe,” ISTJ Everyman characters like Eli and Samakro. Even if they share Thrawn’s values, even if they ALSO work for authoritarian regimes, the ever-important S groundedness is going to make their motives make more “sense” to most readers (hence their placement as audience surrogates).
And lastly there’s also the assertion that he’s “just a male power fantasy” for “obnoxious nerds,” as though there aren’t women (like myself) who find him inspiring, too.