Alive

Thinking about the vibes of Minecraft's antagonist groups...

Illagers are evil, but human evil. They're a cult in distant strongholds, a vendetta against a severed kin, creatures trapped in cages for who knows what ends. They're tribalism, pride, desire overstepping morality, lust for power, lust for knowledge, lust for wealth. They're the grumbling soldier, the scowling hatchet-man, the monologuing mastermind, the sorcerer sneering from his throne.

Undead are evil, inhuman evil. They are mindless, relentless, merciless. There is no thought or conscience behind those empty eyes, just the drive to make life end. They are death, and death follows with them. They are the groaning horde of corpses, the keening spirit, the grim avatar of death.

Piglins are the barbarians, a hard people from a hard land. They are not your friends, but neither are they inherently your foe. They are hardened survivors, huddling in ruins of a past glory or scraping by a living in the wilds, defending their land from those coming from outside. Their desire is the companionship of the tribe, the sweet smell of meat after a hunt, and the lovely gleam of gold. They are the barbarian chief, the cunning trapper in the wild, the berserker red with glory.

Endermen are alien. They seek no goals we can perceive, wander lonely in the night on what might be aeons-spanning missions or the passing whims of chance. They follow fair rules, but their rules are alien. They will pass you by and seek no harm, but will not suffer eyes on them as they do their work. They are the half-seen monster in the night, the quiet figure by your window, the fey people of the otherworld.

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

we talk about the dangers of needing to be the smartest guy in the room but i think even more deadly is the urge to be the FUNNIEST guy in the room.

there should be a job called puzzle solver where you solve puzzles and get paid a living wage . i would be so good at it.

I made an updated version

it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.

this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!

I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??

My dealer: Got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "PvP civilization" 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don't feel shit.

5 minutes later: I think Tabi might be lying

My buddy Evbo standing in the gate: So get over with it, show me I mean nothing to you

... car

“Until Next Time”