@glitzbot

--Hey, didja hear what happened to Brett?

--No, tell me!

--Well, last night, some assholes came out to his dock and ripped off his Johnson.

--What?! Is he gonna be okay?

--Yeah, he was in bed, he slept through the whole thing.

--How can someone sleep through getting their Johnson ripped off?

--Yeah, he's a pretty heavy sleeper, I guess.

--That's... so weird. But is he gonna be okay?

--Oh, he's not hurt at all. They never even came in the house.

--Wait, what?!

--They didn't actually make much noise. But now he needs to borrow your truck.

--To go to the hospital?

--Huh? No, to pick up his spare.

--His spare what?

--His spare Johnson. It's in his shop.

--Okay, why are you messing with me like this?

--What! He's got his spare Johnson up at his shop. He just needs your truck to bring it down here.

--He needs my truck. To pick up his spare Johnson. And attach it, right? After getting his original Johnson ripped off, and he didn't even wake up... or bleed out! Look, what the...

--Well, they didn't actually rip it off, I meant he got ripped off. They had tools, and they unbolted it from the back of the transom.

--...Transom??

--Yeah, you know, the board at the back of the skiff? Where the motor sits?

<long pause>

--You're talking about an outboard motor. A fucking Johnson brand outboard fucking motor.

--Uh, yeah? What did you think I was talking about?

if i had a time machine and i wanted to absolutely destroy an ancient emperor or king, i would take them to the shark tunnel of an aquarium. giving them an ozymandias view of their legacy would do nothing, they can see that all empires rot just by looking around them. but the shark tunnel of an aquarium is something they haven’t seen before, something no one has seen before, something magnificent that they could build with technology only slightly out of their reach. they would bankrupt their nation trying to recreate that shark tunnel for themself. their dynasty would collapse within three generations, and, if heaven is on my side, they themself will be eaten by a shark to the delight of generations of historians to come

When Kyana was sitting up on that spire, and Davian flew by in his Hummingbird, and they had a little conversation, I really enjoyed the moment the two characters had. It was one of the most interesting and satisfying one-on-ones in the first campaign.

I like to think that at some point after the Beastlands, Davian visited the Grand Arena, and ended up facing Kyana. Kyana didn't quite roflstomp him -- Davian drew a little blood, from the one hit he got in, and Kyana had it treated nonmagically, so she could bear the scar as a memento.

The "Christmas Mindfulness" Episode

(This is a story concept for an episode of an ensemble-cast TV show, or maybe a webcomic or something. @homunculus-argument posted a story concept back in October that reminded me of it, but I decided not to put this on a reblog of that, because really, the only similarity is vibes.)

The story arc revolves around two characters: one is relatively new to the story's Found Family, and absolutely loves Christmas, or at least believes in spending "the Holidays" with people one loves. It helps if they're also either cheerful, a bit pushy, or both. I'll call this character "Willy."

The other character, for self-care reasons, always spends Christmas alone. By their own deliberate choice. For them, being alone at Christmastime is their way of celebrating their escape from their abusive family, or from some other tragic backstory that makes Christmas traditions especially distasteful or triggering. It helps if this is also a fairly introverted or pessimistic character. I'll call this second character "Wonty."

This is Willy's first or second Christmas with the Found Family, and Willy's excited about it, but they also learn that Wonty always chooses to spend Christmas alone. Willy sees this as tragic and concerning, and decides that Wonty needs their sympathy, company, and guidance. Either the rest of the group doesn't realize what Willy is planning to do, or Willy doesn't listen to or believe the others.

Willy prepares a quiet, low-key Christmas experience just for Wonty, designed to "fix" Wonty's attitude toward Christmas, then invites themself over to Wonty's home. You see, Willy doesn't understand that Wonty is enjoying spending Christmas alone. That possibility hasn't even occurred to Willy. In Willy's mind, they are making a noble sacrifice by skipping the Found Family's Christmas party, and instead trying to bring Wonty around to the joy of Christmas.

Wonty, answering their door, declines to invite Willy in. Wonty explains that they prefer to spend Christmas alone, celebrating their safety and independence. Willy brushes this off, and insists on being invited in, insists that Wonty needs this, until finally Wonty relents and decides to try and get this over with.

As Willy practices Christmas upon Wonty (if the narrative is set in modern North America, I like the idea that watching "Die Hard" together is Willy's plan), Wonty just gets more and more miserable every moment. Willy can see this, and gets more and more anxious and desperate to cheer Wonty up and change Wonty's mind.

Eventually, out of frustration and confusion, Willy does something that's inappropriate, something that crosses a boundary of some sort, just to try and reach Wonty in Wonty's deepening funk. This leads to a moment in which both characters are shocked by what just happened, then Wonty firmly asks Willy to leave. This bit probably depends a lot on how the actual characters would navigate this situation, but Willy does leave, whether immediately or after trying to salvage their plan.

Afterward, Willy ends up at the Found Family's annual Christmas party. Willy has themself a pity party over what happened, and expresses deep concern over Wonty's lack of Christmas spirit. The rest of the Found Family, or perhaps just a Heart or surrogate parent character, explains the details of Wonty's tragic backstory and reasons for isolating themself from Christmas celebrations, and lays down some home truths for Willy about boundaries and respecting differences. Some people just aren't going to see the world the way we do, and that's okay, and worth respecting.

There's no real reason Willy can't figure out some of the above paragraph on their own, except the concept has to come through to the audience somehow. Also, Willy now realizes that Wonty did try to explain all of this, but they steamrolled Wonty and didn't listen. Willy spends the rest of the evening processing all of this.

The next time Willy meets Wonty at their shared experience, or some other place Willy can approach Wonty in public, Willy presents Wonty with a thoughtfully-chosen peace offering, something they've found out, after some effort, that Wonty will genuinely enjoy. Willy apologizes honestly to Wonty and acknowledges what they did, promising never to visit them on Christmas or try to "fix" them, ever again. Wonty points out that the honest apology and clear contrition make a great deal of difference, and forgives Willy.

Hooray, everyone is okay again, and we grew in the process! The end.

Full disclosure, I've never actually seen Melancholia, but from your video, I arrived at a very different interpretation of Justine's character… it occurred to me that, if someone was used to hearing that the world was doomed, and had both ruined their own life with their actions and come to full acceptance of the fact that they had nobody to blame but themselves for their situation, that discovering that the entire planet genuinely IS doomed, in short order and quite demonstrably… wouldn't that come as a great relief? None of the guilt or crises would matter any more, because the advent of Melancholia would be so much more immediate… and since nobody can do anything about it, there would be no pressure to try, no pressure to be "productive."

It doesn't quite meet the definition of sanity in the ordinary sense, but when inevitable doom is rushing towards the entire planet, I kind of think the definition of "sanity" would shift, as values and priorities shift, because most of what we think matters… would suddenly no longer matter.

On a weirder note, I used cosmic bliss-horror when I put unicorns into my original high-fantasy worldbuilding project. In that world, unicorns are fearsome interdimensional incursions that cannot abide the impurity of the world's setting… Mesmerizingly beautiful, but lethal without exception. But they also contain a Mr. Toots reference, because I simply cannot help myself. Yes, my unicorn's ultimate ability is a discharge of superheated, rainbow-colored plasma (B308), shot out of its ass. But it's magical plasma, and when it burns you right to the bone, you fall under the Ecstasy spell (M139) as an affliction.

Who's afraid of the big bad eldritch horror?

And what happens when you're not? We made a video on it!

NGL the idea of being properly seen unlocking one's latent superpowers is a pretty banger concept

Absolutely astonished that while helping a lady today she turned and said, “Your eyes are different colors!”

Reader. My eyes are different colors but it’s so subtle that I’ve had close friends who couldn’t tell the difference. I’ve excitedly told people only to have them clock it and go, “That’s it?”

I’ve had multiple people I’ve known for years see my eyes in sunlight and go, “Oh! Your eyes are green!”

Mom mother still calls me her blue eyed girl.

But here comes this beautiful lady. Who I’d only known for five minutes was just gushing about how cool it was that one of my eyes was greener and the other bluer and how she desperately wanted a dog with heterochromia and how she thought it was super noticeable.

My day is made. I feel like an anime protagonist. I could leap a tall building. I think this unlocked superpowers, probably.

It says very clearly, right under the map:

That would be the joke.

Yes, it's their latitude transferred over to the West coast.

Cannot believe the number of people who are either freaking out or trying to dunk on this, because they think OP is claiming that's where these cities actually are.

It's just a geography joke.

Eastern cities on the west coast

I only figured out how to tell in late 2019, great timing, then it took me some time to learn to disambiguate between "thinks I'm cute" and "wants to do something about it," and I still have no idea how to signal anything back or how else to respond

And meanwhile I am just dying every time I re-evaluate weird old memories in light of the parts of the code that I have managed to break

“they were flirting with you” and how was i supposed to know such a thing when everyone speaks in codes and puzzles

Oh, hey, are the Helluva Boss goat fans gonna invade the Cult of the Lamb fandom now?

Sure, I'm down. I have no clue, but I can help organize.

The cult shall continue to grow