Boundaries - Blog Posts

Sorry I meant to say this is just a question but do you do yandere head cannons?

Yandere as a whole kinda rubs me the wrong way? At least the ones that are like really bad like yandere sim and yandere bf game style is too much for me cause it glorifies horrible things like a controlling partner as well as murder stalking and a few other things BUT if I write any yandere things it won't be anything farther than a protective partner who's scared of abandonment but not going anything past something that's just kinda cute.

Hope that makes sense lol, but I'd love any request not...toxic and stuff

-BOUNDARIES AND OTHER SHIT!-

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-The chill shi-

- LGBTQIA+

- Shipping [Oc × cannon / Oc × Oc /Poly]

- horror

- silly little billies

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-GTFO-

- Pro shippers [ Minor × adult / Animal × human / etc]

- NSFW

- Problematic fandoms

- racists and homophobes

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-Cool shit I like-

- JJK [♡ choso]

- Class of 09

- ISSBROKIE/SHTEPPIE

- Forrest Frank [if yk who that is mmmmuah]

- tryna get into dandys world [thanks @artistictoon]

- space hey user

I love to use my disability “as an excuse.” Fuck yeah my disability is an excuse. It’s the most valid excuse I have. I’m not helping you lift that box/etc because my disability would make it fucking painful. Not wanting to be in pain is a good enough reason. I’m not going to put myself in pain to comfort your sensibilities.

Yes I’m using my disability as an excuse because I refuse to hurt myself for you. If you’re mad about it you can cry! ❤️

Y'all can make Bee as hot as you want, the real reason I thirst for her is how she treated Loona at the party.

Now, THAT is what I call hawt.

I loved her outfit in Mastermind, she’s just so cool.

The "Christmas Mindfulness" Episode

(This is a story concept for an episode of an ensemble-cast TV show, or maybe a webcomic or something. @homunculus-argument posted a story concept back in October that reminded me of it, but I decided not to put this on a reblog of that, because really, the only similarity is vibes.)

The story arc revolves around two characters: one is relatively new to the story's Found Family, and absolutely loves Christmas, or at least believes in spending "the Holidays" with people one loves. It helps if they're also either cheerful, a bit pushy, or both. I'll call this character "Willy."

The other character, for self-care reasons, always spends Christmas alone. By their own deliberate choice. For them, being alone at Christmastime is their way of celebrating their escape from their abusive family, or from some other tragic backstory that makes Christmas traditions especially distasteful or triggering. It helps if this is also a fairly introverted or pessimistic character. I'll call this second character "Wonty."

This is Willy's first or second Christmas with the Found Family, and Willy's excited about it, but they also learn that Wonty always chooses to spend Christmas alone. Willy sees this as tragic and concerning, and decides that Wonty needs their sympathy, company, and guidance. Either the rest of the group doesn't realize what Willy is planning to do, or Willy doesn't listen to or believe the others.

Willy prepares a quiet, low-key Christmas experience just for Wonty, designed to "fix" Wonty's attitude toward Christmas, then invites themself over to Wonty's home. You see, Willy doesn't understand that Wonty is enjoying spending Christmas alone. That possibility hasn't even occurred to Willy. In Willy's mind, they are making a noble sacrifice by skipping the Found Family's Christmas party, and instead trying to bring Wonty around to the joy of Christmas.

Wonty, answering their door, declines to invite Willy in. Wonty explains that they prefer to spend Christmas alone, celebrating their safety and independence. Willy brushes this off, and insists on being invited in, insists that Wonty needs this, until finally Wonty relents and decides to try and get this over with.

As Willy practices Christmas upon Wonty (if the narrative is set in modern North America, I like the idea that watching "Die Hard" together is Willy's plan), Wonty just gets more and more miserable every moment. Willy can see this, and gets more and more anxious and desperate to cheer Wonty up and change Wonty's mind.

Eventually, out of frustration and confusion, Willy does something that's inappropriate, something that crosses a boundary of some sort, just to try and reach Wonty in Wonty's deepening funk. This leads to a moment in which both characters are shocked by what just happened, then Wonty firmly asks Willy to leave. This bit probably depends a lot on how the actual characters would navigate this situation, but Willy does leave, whether immediately or after trying to salvage their plan.

Afterward, Willy ends up at the Found Family's annual Christmas party. Willy has themself a pity party over what happened, and expresses deep concern over Wonty's lack of Christmas spirit. The rest of the Found Family, or perhaps just a Heart or surrogate parent character, explains the details of Wonty's tragic backstory and reasons for isolating themself from Christmas celebrations, and lays down some home truths for Willy about boundaries and respecting differences. Some people just aren't going to see the world the way we do, and that's okay, and worth respecting.

There's no real reason Willy can't figure out some of the above paragraph on their own, except the concept has to come through to the audience somehow. Also, Willy now realizes that Wonty did try to explain all of this, but they steamrolled Wonty and didn't listen. Willy spends the rest of the evening processing all of this.

The next time Willy meets Wonty at their shared experience, or some other place Willy can approach Wonty in public, Willy presents Wonty with a thoughtfully-chosen peace offering, something they've found out, after some effort, that Wonty will genuinely enjoy. Willy apologizes honestly to Wonty and acknowledges what they did, promising never to visit them on Christmas or try to "fix" them, ever again. Wonty points out that the honest apology and clear contrition make a great deal of difference, and forgives Willy.

Hooray, everyone is okay again, and we grew in the process! The end.

listen to your own inner voice and set boundaries!! your mental and emotional well-being need to be protected!! when you compromise your own values and goals to accommodate the needs and expectations of others, you are sacrificing your own needs and happiness. even if it means disappointing others or standing up against criticism, being assertive and prioritizing your own needs matters! a lot!

best thing you could have ever said to me. like my dad always says. the only way to treat a cold is with contempt. I present: the only way to treat Sad Boi hours is with disdain

[ID: screenshot with the words "And yeah we've all got limits and flaws and whatever"]

She’s not easy and neither am I

Ya compraron el nuevo ser de santa en apuros ? Incluye 40 fotos y un mini vídeo por tan solo 200 recuerden también visitar el Patreon www.patreon.com/ilianagmodel

Surviving Other People’s Shit: 10 Self Compassionate “I” Existence Affirmations to Get Out and Stay Out of Manipulative Control.

1 - I am free to personally like and dislike whoever it is that I choose, regardless of what other people think.

2 - I do not have to tolerate or accept repeated abusive behaviour in my life based on the abusers state of mind or personal well being.

3 - There are no rules when it comes to who I must, and who I must not allow in my personal space, except for my own.

4 - As an independent adult or young adult, I understand that what I do in my personal life, does not have to be based on what another person insists that I do, or else there will be consequences.

5 - I am allowed to say no.

6 - I am free to choose which invites to attend or not attend.

7 - I might have accepted a gift, but this does not bind me to the givers will.

8 - I can choose to have different beliefs and values than others, and still get along in the world.

9 - I am beautiful, no matter what they say (thank you xtina :))

10 - I am free to have whatever feelings that I have in any given moment, and pledge to manage these feelings in the safest, best possible way that supports the ultimate value of my existence.

Stay excellent :)

Dreamwork, the Beauty and the Boundary Violation

Dreamwork is an interesting area of human life that easily gets caught up in a nightmare, so I wanted to write a short bit about that today and define what dreams (and nightmares) are, which can sometimes help stop the fall.

Dreams (and nightmares) are the brains way of resolving things that have not been processed in waking time. It is a bit like doing a format or defragging of a hard drive, sorting out the bits and pieces that either didn’t make a connection, or were just not sorted into the correct place so that they could be moved on from. In machines, that is processing. We are not machines, but as humans, it is pretty much the same processing story for us, with the exception that we are feeling beings, and that we get mystified by things sometimes.

Working out our dreams is something that we can all learn to do, and for those who can look objectively, whilst utilising empathy and an understanding of psychology, Dreamwork with others can be really eye opening for the receiver. The best part however, is that once you have started to work with someone else on Dreamwork, it becomes impossible to not then go forward in being able to realise the individual meaning of dreams for one’s self.

There is another side to the coin though. Dreamwork is a largely overlooked area for potential abuse that is worth remembering, in case it starts happening to ourselves or someone else that we love or care about deeply. Such an open, repeated vision into the boundaries of the personal psyche should only be shared with those that we undoubtedly know that we can trust.

The Balance Between Realistic and Unrealistic Relationship Expectations

Entering a relationship often comes with a set of expectations, shaped by personal experiences, societal influences, and media portrayals of love. However, the line between realistic and unrealistic expectations can be blurry. Understanding this distinction is crucial for fostering healthy, fulfilling relationships. This article explores the differences between realistic and unrealistic…

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/ᐠ-˕-マ~ intro !

𝐡𝐚𝐢...

...and officially welcome to my blog/account ! I like to entertain the thought that I am a girl of many interests, talents, and, most definitely, thoughts. so, this is the place where I get to release and showcase them !

it would be an absolute honor for me to be able to, not only do something I enjoy, but allow any others who'd like to indulge to enjoy as well :). but, be aware, my main skill here is my writing, so that's something you'll see most often.

you (reading this lol) are welcome to explore, and should you have any questions at all, don't be shy in asking. I'm a very open book, so this is a non-judgemental, friendly, anyone welcome and encouraged, safe space :).

to learn more on the topic of myself, you can always check out the about me page. to explore what fandoms I'm in and what I love to run my mouth talk about, then you should go to the heart. if you have any questions by the end, you can always check out the faq's page. Continue reading further down to see how my account operates, and what you can do to make this the best experience for yourself ♡.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞

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/ᐠ-˕-マ~ Please respect all boundaries written below or you will be ignored/blocked. Thank you !

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 -

《 ♡ 》 I will write any and everything for whoever is requested, just as long as it's someone from any of my master/fandom lists. don't be afraid to get creative !

《 ♡ 》 be specific/detailed with your requests, it's a hugely appreciated help🙏🏽. and don't forget to mention whether you want it to be a full imagine, a list of headcannons, a oneshot, etcetc.

《 ♡ 》 you can both request in my inbox or dm (direct message) me, both are fine, and I encourage you not to worry about the length or "absurdity" of your request, for a truly good writer will work with whatever has been given (in my humble opinion). "A writer typically writes what they know." - don't ask, I forgot who roughly said this.

《 ♡ 》 please include in your request if you'd like to be added to any taglists ! every single thing I write for will have/has one, and if you'd like me to add your @, just let me know, and I'll be happy to do so. you will be tagged anytime I upload anything related to the taglist you requested :).

《 ♡ 》 as for requesting anything else (such as edits, collages, profile pictures, etc.), just make sure you let me know what/which characters, a certain/specific mood you might want, details and such like that.

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𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 -

《 ♡ 》 as stated before, I will write whatever I'm asked, but please keep in mind that I am only one person with a life outside of Tumblr. some things may take longer than others, but just know I put full effort and passion into every single one of my works that I do, you have my word. also, real quick; no, this isn't my writing style (the whole "lowercase, small words" thing I do is just for aesthetic purposes, my writing style is different).

《 ♡ 》 I do works for "character(s) x reader", "character(s) x OC" (which, again, please be very specific if you're requesting I do an OC of yours), and "character(s) + reader or OC", the "+" being an indicator of platonic/sibling type relationship rather than romantic. also, don't be shy to spice reader up, too ! I love doing dynamic work :D ! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤExample: bimbo!extroverted!reader x character!

《 ♡ 》 I do write smut (mainly just for the practice tbh), but please be warned and advised that all characters will be aged up (if not already), no matter the character/fandom, and that I probably won't do anything t o o heavy.

《 ♡ 》 I do NOT ship/write romantic relations with any characters who are blood related, nor will I write for any characters with a significant/concerning age gap between them. do with this info what you will one way or another🤷🏽‍♀️.

《 ♡ 》 I do NOT do song requests. It's fine if you want a musically inclined reader or something, I don't mind. but do not give me a certain/specific song to base a work/request off of. I won't be able to do it, especially should you choose a song I don't like. sorry in advance for this😭.

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𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 -

《 ♡ 》 if you don't like my writing, don't read it.

《 ♡ 》 if you don't like the content I post, block me.

《 ♡ 》 please do not leave any negativity/hate speech on my blog. not only will you then be giving me free reason to cuss you out (teehee) but then I'll get petty and ✨️block✨️ you before you can respond /ᐠ>⩊<マ ! no, but seriously, I don't tolerate any unnecessary/unwarranted hate here, so just run along if that's what you're here to do.

《 ♡ 》 if you have any other questions, please refer to the faq's page. if your question isn't on that page, feel free to put it in my inbox or dm me :).

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𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 -

I am open to...

《 ♡ 》 constructive criticism/suggestions. I love receiving help on how to improve my work, or just on some cool tips 'cuz tumblr likes to hide all of the cool stuff from me (like changing the font color to something other than the main seven offered /ᐠ-˕-マ...). just be nice/chill about it, please.

《 ♡ 》 meeting new people. I am always down to make new friends, so if that's what you want, I'm happy to indulge ! My dm's are always open for friendship for ages sixteen (16) and up :).

《 ♡ 》 venting. having a tough day? (don't worry, it's been a tough year for me💀). need someone to vent to who won't judge, will listen, and try their best to help/be there for you? you've come to the right girl. again, dm's are always open, so feel free to drop some tea/drama into the chat as if we've known each other forever, and I'll see what I can do to help :)♡. remember, you always have one person in this world who cares about you, and if you don't, it means I died lol.

《 ♡ 》 collabing/shoutouts. are you a writer, too? or have an edit you wanna show off, but don't know where to post it? I gotchu', bestie. send it over to me, and if it happens to align with one of my fandoms, I'll happily repost, show off, whatever you need me to do with hella credits to you ! I love to uplift my community, so I will take any chance I can to do just that :).

《 ♡ 》 commissions. on the topic of support, you guys are always free to show some extra love (only if you want, absolutely no pressure whatsoever) to ask for something extra specific under the notion that I receive compensation. prices and deadlines are negotiable, for now, so don't be afraid to ask and see what we can do ♡.

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𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 -

I am not open to...

《 ♡ 》 negativity/hate speech. again, I enforce that you do not leave hate. If you don't like anything I post, block me and/or continue to scroll on and find a blog that does interest you. I post for myself and for anyone who appreciates what I do, nothing more, nothing less. this also includes any unwanted religious mantra.

《 ♡ 》 badgering. if you've requested/asked something, please be patient with me. I definitely saw it (unless stated otherwise) and I'm doing my best to be efficient, but again, life happens. although, checking in is much appreciated and I don't have a request limit. I just mean badgering in the sense that I don't need you cussing me out because I didn't throw up words and/or shit out an edit the second you typed up your request💀😭.

《 ♡ 》 pro-shippers/toxic fanbases. do not bring that shit over here, keep y'all asses away from my peaceful, chaotic good self, and this blog. that's all I have to say. this is your only warning.

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𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : [active] [hiatus] [offline]

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 : [open] [closed]

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𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡...

...that's all for the introduction ! thanks for reading, and I hope your pillow is cold on both sides, you get your favorite food in the next ten minutes, and that your allergy to cats is miraculously cured.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ/ᐠ^˕^マ~ 𝐛𝐚𝐢 !

I got so accustomed to dimming my own light that now I have to constantly reignite.

What Boundaries Look Like 👀

“Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to. Our anger may be a message that we are being hurt, that our rights are being violated, that our needs or wants are not being adequately met, or simply that something is not right. Our anger may tell us that we are not addressing an important emotional issue in our lives, or that too much of our self–our belief, values, desires, or ambitions–is being compromised in a relationship. Our anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more than we can comfortably do or give. Or our anger may warn us that others are doing too much for us, at the expense of our own competence and growth. Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self. Our anger can motivate us to say “no” to the ways in which we are defined by others and “yes” to the dictates of our inner self."

-Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Anger

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

shoutout to all of us adults with trauma figuring out how to navigate identifying the need for boundaries, setting boundaries, and trying to be assertive in doing so. 

Being Kind doesn’t mean becoming a complete pushover. You can be kind and have very clear boundaries about what is and isn’t acceptable to you.

Oh gosh, that feel. Figuring out when my "back off" anger is appropriate or an overreaction is something I still struggle with.

I almost always check what other people think, to see how my reactions correspond ... But some of the people around me have issues with boundaries, too, so that isn't always a reliable measure. Sometimes, negative stuff gets normalized, and that's hard.

But I'm getting to the point where I'll stick to my own opinion even if someone else says I'm overreacting. Because the thing is, even if something is "objectively" okay, it might not be okay for ME. And my individual needs & preferences are important.

The people in my life should care about and respect what I need. And if they don't want to, that's their shortcoming, not mine.

I’m so wary of people in my life and I feel like they are violating my space and privacy (if that’s true then that’s fucked up???) I can’t tell if I’m being paranoid but it’s causing me so much discomfort that I just want everyone to leave!! me!! alone!!!

Things to remember when you want to say "no," assert yourself, and ask for what you want

If I say “no” to someone and they get angry, this does not mean I should have said “yes.”

Saying “no” does not make me selfish.

Although I want to please the people I care about, I do not have to please them all the time.

It is okay to want or need something from someone else. 

My wants and needs are just as important as those of anyone else.

I have the right to assert myself, even if I may inconvenience others. 

“It’s not brave to have boundaries

it’s just basic hygiene for your soul.”

-Jenny Slate

I'll keep my garden clean

And decide who is welcome

Watch out for my flowers

And take care of the beds

First... if you are under 18... BE GONE. Away with you! The adults are doing weird shit.

About Me:

💣ENM/Poly, and partnered with @chunkubis-xxx. I am her feeder/daddy/Dom. She's my good little girl, and we love this community.

💣I am into a plethora of kinks and fetishes, feedism is just one of them. 😉

💣I'm a bodybuilder, and I am familiar with nutrition... that knowledge can absolutely be applied to making you as fat as possible. 😈

💣Always open to asks and my DMs are always open!

💣I am always here to encourage you cute piggies and bovine beauty's to eat and grow to your fullest potential.

💣Yes, I am looking for another feedee! Ideally in NJ/PA/NYC areas. I'm open to further than that and online connections. 🫠

Likes:

💣Genuine people. I am very much "What you see is what you get." And I like when I can expect the same from you.

💣LBGTQ Community. Ive worked a bouncer in gay clubs for years. I love it. You guys are awesome.

💣Kinky, weird, Neuro-Spicy stuff. I have raging ADHD and love the stimulation. 😂

💣Genuine asks and comments. Ask me ANYTHING. I love interacting with people.

💣Positive comments and support. Wherever I go, I love seeing nice stuff being posted and said.

Dislikes:

💣People asking me for pictures of my feedee. She has an OF. Go subscribe and support her if you want to see more content. She posts frequently.

💣Negativity and bringing people down. If you don't want to be a part of community, leave. Unnecessary degradation and comments of the sort will be blocked.

💣Don't be an assk-hole. Please don't ask me advice on what to eat or what my thoughts are if you don't really want to hear it.

💣People who aren't serious about gaining and are just going to take my information and run away. I take pride in my role as a feeder and encourager.

✨️Let's all enjoy this beautiful community and be our best selves! ✨️