Manipulation - Blog Posts

CARVED OUT BY FEAR જ⁀➴

yandere!yuta okkotsu x reader

warnings: emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, implied violence, psychological trauma, disassociation, yandere themes

wc: 318

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

he doesn’t yell when he’s angry.

that would be too easy.

yuta okkotsu punishes in silence. with hands that don’t bruise, but hold too tight. with eyes that watch you fall apart and never look away.

he enjoys it.

he enjoys me—my pain, my fear, my confusion. i see it in the way he smiles when my voice cracks. in how he cups my face so tenderly after a breakdown he caused, whispering, “there you are… you always look so honest when you’re crying.”

he tells me it’s because he loves the real me.

but what he really loves is the version of me he’s carved out with fear.

every time i try to stand up for myself, to push back, to breathe—he lets me. he watches me rage, scream, cry—and then when im exhausted, shaking, back against the wall—he kneels beside me like a savior.

“shh… that’s it,” he murmurs, wiping my tears. “you got it out. i'm proud of you.”

he says he’s proud when I fall apart.

because that’s the version he’s in love with. the girl who can’t leave. the girl who only survives when she’s in his arms.

and when i stop fighting?

he’s sweeter than anyone i've ever known.

he’ll brush my hair. run me a bath. feed me by hand like I’m something precious and weak.

“see? isn’t it easier when you don’t resist?”

he calls it love.

but it’s not love.

it’s ownership wrapped in soft words and bruiseless hands. it’s the way he tilts his head when I disassociate, studying my emptiness like it’s beautiful.

“i like when you go quiet like that,” he once said. “you look peaceful.”

i wasn’t peaceful.

i was gone.

Neptune and confusion

Neptune/pisces in a chart can talk about confusion, manipulation, and being delusional. And I started to think, as a pisces venus and pisces dominant person more about this. This made me think of body dysmorphia now I'm not saying if you're pisces dominant you have body dysmorphia. But I have noticed some form of confusion around the appearance. They might be insecure about their body or face or think they look different constantly. Especially in mirrors/photos. I remember when I was really insecure, my sister showed me a picture of myself and I said "wow, she's pretty who's that?" I genuinely did not know that was me 😭. And this is only one example/way it can manifest. They might've been manipulated a lot and the house might show where this happens.

June of Doom Day 6

“They don’t care about you.”  | Flinch | Broken Promise | Abandoned |

Content: manipulation, intimate whumper

Whumpee flinched as they heard the door to their cell open. Whumper walked in looking almost sympathetic, a look that could never be trusted coming from them.

Whumper sighed, "I just got off the phone with your team."

Whumpee perked their head up at that.

"They had a whole lot to say but I um... have something to tell you."

Whumpee was paying so much attention that Whumper thought their brain might explode.

"They agreed that they aren't coming back for you."

Whumper tried to hide their delight as Whumpee's eyes widened in disbelief like they were a puppy that just got kicked.

"What? You're lying. They wouldn't-"

"Oh, but yes they would." Whumpee shivered as Whumper looked them directly in the eyes walking towards them. "That's why they abandoned you in the first place."

"But... they wouldn't. I know my team better than you and... they wouldn't do that."

Whumper kneeled down in front of Whumpee, face filled with some form of concern but there was a fire in their eyes that Whumpee didn't want to acknowledge.

"Oh sweetheart, I hate to say this but... they don't care about you."

Whumpee's heart shattered in an instant. Deep down they knew their team thought lesser of them and probably weren't coming back, but to hear it straight from Whumper really set it in stone.

Whumpee broke down in tears as Whumper cradled them in their arms.

"Don't cry sweetheart. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but you still have me."

This only made Whumpee cry harder as they melted in Whumper's arms. It felt so wrong, it was so wrong, but what else could they do? They didn't want to acknowledge it, but the only one they had left was Whumper. Even if they hated them. Even if Whumper had hurt them endlessly for so long. They didn't have a choice so they chose the only thing they could choose; to finally give in.

"Love at first bite" - Sanji Fanfiction

Summary:

Being Sanji's lover, you are very much not okay with the way he fawns over your fellow nakama, Nami and Robin. The two of you have very different expectations towards your relationship leading to plenty of hurt and angst along the way.

Notes:

I have never learned to cook personally, so please excuse any strangeness featured in this work. At episode 420 in the anime (at the start of writing this). An "Hors d'œuvre" is a pre-appetizer part of a multiple course meal. I tried to make some notes for what I'd like to include in a Sanji fanfiction, but ended up only writing down "mon ange" multiple times because I'm a total sucker for Sanji being french and calling Y/N his angel. Am I as much of a simp as Sanji is? Possibly. Poor Sanji, he's in for a ride.

Chapter 1: Hors d'œuvre

Sweat trickles down your forehead.

You wipe it away with the back of your arm quickly, not wanting any of it to drip down and spoil any of the hard work you’ve been doing.

You’ve been standing here for hours, trying your hardest to make something for your lover.

Well, not lover, ex-lover. A rather recent development, as you had never quite found it in yourself to trust Sanji to be loyal to you until a week ago.

Knowing all too well how… enthusiastic he can get about any woman that isn’t above a certain age or decidedly ugly, you had always doubted his loyalty to you, no matter how many nice words he had spoiled you with.

Initially you hadn’t been so cautious, but when you’d seen him swoon over Robin and Nami, your other crewmates without any restraint, even though the two of you had started being lovers semi-officially on the Strawhat crew, the pang of hurt in your heart had shown you all too clearly that for you, he was definitely more than just a passing attraction, and that you certainly wished for him to feel the same way about you.

Your mind goes back to that instance one week ago. After Sanji had made an afternoon snack specifically for you – or so you had thought - you’d initially been over the moon with happiness. When finding out not long after that he’d showed the same attention to Nami and Robin, not so much anymore. You had confronted him, barging in on him in the kitchen washing some dishes without even bothering to knock, all politeness and manners washed away in your jealous rage.

“Sanji!”, you had exclaimed, voice taut with tension. Sanji had looked up curiously at your voice, and then beamed with happiness at seeing it was you. “Beatrice-chan! My love! You look as radiant as ever!” Your eyes had narrowed, and you’d spoken with frigid intensity. “Sanji. I’m not okay with you acting like you’re doing something special and exclusive for me and then finding out that Nami and Robin are getting the same treatment.”

Sanji’s face falls at your words. “But Beatrice-chan! They’re lovely ladies too, just like yourself! I can’t help but make sure all of you are comfortable and well.”

You cross your arms, glaring daggers into him. “Yeah, but I’m your lover, aren’t I? Those two aren’t. Shouldn’t I get special rights?”

You realize yourself how childish and petulant you sound, but you can’t help it. Sanji always fawning over the other two has left you rather irritable and unhappy and having let those feelings accumulate you are now on the verge of yelling at him.

Sanji, ever the ladies’ man, tries to soothe you. He stops  washing the dishes and moves over, his look apologetic. “Darling, my beautiful angel, of course you get special rights. But I can’t neglect the crew either, surely you understand?”

You pout, unwilling to back down even in the slightest. “Yeah, you say that. But actions speak louder than words. And I’m sick and tired of you always being all NAMI-SWAAAAAN and ROBIN-CHWAAAAAN every time they’re around.”

Sanji sighs and frowns. “But sweetheart, they’re my friends, my nakama. It’s a sign of respect, don’t you see?”

Your glare against him hardens. “What I do see is that you’re head over heels for women who aren’t me. And I know I’m just some random lover of yours which I’m sure you have plenty of, but I don’t like it. Not one bit. I’m considering to stop this arrangement of ours. I don’t like sharing.”

Sanji’s face falls completely, a look of sheer dread on it now. “No, no, no, mon ange, please don’t say that.” He steps closer, taking your hands in his. “You’re not “just some random lover” of mine. You’re my whole world, my dearest darling.”

You narrow your eyes. “Yeah, Sanji. And you say that to any person walking around with tits. So excuse me when I don’t take your flair for the dramatic seriously.”

He looks genuinely hurt now, and you’re almost starting to feel sorry for your harsh words… almost.

Sanji looks down, speaking quietly, almost dejectedly. “Is that really what you think of me? That I don’t care for you, that you could be replaced with any woman?”

You snort, your own pent-up hurt making you uncaring towards his own. “Yes. That’s what I think of you. You’re a total player, Sanji, just admit it.”

Sanji lets go of your hands, turning around to start washing the dishes again. He doesn’t respond and you can’t see his face, so you have no idea what’s going on within him. He doesn’t reply, which makes you stand there rather awkwardly.

After a while, you’re starting to feel a little bad and decidedly a little guilty. Even if you two aren’t really working out as lovers as well as you’d planned, he’s still your nakama that you care for. You start up, saying “Sanji-“, before you are quickly interrupted by him.

“Don’t, Beatrice. Don’t bother.” His voice is calm and controlled. You see him lighting up a cigarette for himself in between dishes, needing quite a few attempts considering that there’s no wind blowing or anything else that could interfere with the success of it.

You’ve never heard him speak so unenthusiastically to you, and it makes your heart clench in your chest. You’d wanted to confront him, yes, but you’d hoped childishly that admitting to your jealousy would make him drop his obvious affectionate nature towards your other nakama, not push him away entirely.

You speak up quietly, voice laced with regret. “S-so I guess that’s it? It’s over?”

Again he doesn’t bother turning around, taking a puff from his cigarette before resuming washing the dishes. “I guess so.”

His voice is still unnaturally calm and collected. You had thought about this moment occasionally, about what would happen if you ever decided to discontinue your love affair. But in your mind it had either been a glorious change from a love affair into a genuine relationship, or Sanji on his knees begging for you not to leave him.

The reality you are faced with is jarring. You had your suspicions about Sanji being quite the player, but him being this cold and uncaring at the end of your love affair? Never once would you have imagined things to go this way.

“O-okay. I’m just gonna- I’m just gonna go.”, you say weakly. Waiting for a reply you don’t receive for a few moments, you quickly turn on your heel and rush out of the kitchen. Tears are stinging in your eyes as you quickly make your way towards your room, praying you won’t run into anyone from the crew, especially not your ever-curious captain.

Whatever gods above there may be seem to heed your calls, as you make it there without coming across a single soul. You lay down on your bed, burying your head in your pillows as you let out a sniffle. You had certainly not wanted things to go this way. For Sanji to be this cold towards you.

It was such a stark difference from your previous encounters, from you initially being completely swept away by his unwavering and doting attention on you after you joined the crew, to a few ups and downs of you realizing you weren’t the only woman he fawned over and you two making up and reconciliating in steamy encounters of passion over and over. And now it’s over. Just like that.

You hadn’t thought about whether or not your love affair would be a long-term arrangement, but you’d never imagined it end this quickly either. Three long months had you been enjoying Sanji’s unwavering devotion to making sure you were okay and trying to fulfill your every wish and now it’s gone entirely, ended quickly by one of your jealous streaks.

As you cry into your pillow in a swirl of sadness and frustration, you curse Sanji for being such a player, for not caring about you when you’d wanted him to so badly, when you had hoped he’d eventually get past his initial infatuation and finally have any sort of real feelings for you. You have no idea how to face him again after this, but then again, he doesn't seem to care about you much anyways, so he probably won't care about that either.

Chapter 2: Amouse-bouche

As you finish reminiscing about your time with your ex-lover – and the separation that had felt surprisingly much like a break-up – you keep stirring the pot you’re currently standing in front of. You’ve been cooking for hours in hopes of somehow impressing Sanji as an apology for your previous rude behaviour. You’ve never really cooked much of anything before – usually just living by scraps and the small bits and pieces of food you actually could afford – and you are not so sure if the something brewing within the pot is actually edible.

You’ve asked Zoro to keep Sanji out of the kitchen, and every now and then you can hear the two of them arguing loudly over it, but Zoro has remained steadfast and adamant about Sanji not being let into the kitchen. You’d gotten Luffy’s permission for this specifically, or rather, you bribed Luffy by promising him he’d get a good chunk of the food you were gonna be cooking.

The recipe you’d decided on had been one you found in the various cookbooks to be found in the pantry. You were pretty sure Sanji just cooked everything by heart at this point, but apparently these were fond mementos he didn’t want to get rid off, even though they didn’t have his, but rather the name “Zeff” written inside their covers, whoever that was.

Having chosen a recipe by image alone you’d ended up with a seemingly simple recipe of octopus, sea king liver and plenty of funny looking vegetables. You’d been able to find all of the ingredients within the pantry where Sanji kept a rather impressive collection of ingredients and had been cooking away since. Again you peek into the pot, one octopus tentacle arm thing reaching up while many vegetables swam around in the strange brown liquid everything had turned into. You frown, wondering if it’s really supposed to look like that, but all you have for reference is the image of the finished meal in the cookbook. Which it does not remotely resemble as of yet, but surely it’ll get there... right?

By the time you finish, you’re sweaty and uncomfortable in the very warm kitchen. How Sanji manages to look so perfect while cooking for hours here, you have no idea. You wipe the sweat off your brow and put the pot on a device that’ll keep the food warm as you head for a quick shower.

Apologies and dinner are best had while not reeking worse than Zoro after a workout, you decide.

You head to the entry to the kitchen, where Zoro and Sanji are still standing, bickering. You clear your throat. “Uh. Sanji? I-I’d like to talk to you about something.” Sanji turns towards you, his expression guarded and mostly neutral. You’ve become one of the only women that Sanji appears indifferent to, and you’re pretty certain you don’t like this change. You much preferred Sanji still being yours. Or well, your lover. Semantics.

Luffy’s voice carries across the deck from the figurehead he’s sitting on: “Is it ready yet???”

You frown, giving your captain a hard stare. “No, need to do something first! I’ll let you know once it is.”

Sanji crosses his arms, giving away nothing as he speaks in a neutral tone: “Okay. What do you need to talk to me about?”

You gulp and gesture towards the door. “Uh, can we talk in private?”

Sanji shrugs faintly and heads into the kitchen ahead of you, not even bothering to hold the door open for you, a lack of chivalry that would previously have been unheard of. Seriously, you’d only called out his less-than-awesome tendencies. He should really not take it so poorly.

As you head into the kitchen after Sanji, you move in front of the pot containing your culinary creation to hide it from sight for now. You meet Sanji’s eyes hesitantly. “Right. So, I, uh. I wanted to apologize to you, Sanji. What I said back then, one week ago… I could have been a bit nicer to you. I’m sorry.”

Sanji’s eyes soften for a fraction of a second before his expression hardens again. “So you didn’t mean what you said?”

You bite back your immediate honest reply and give a faint smile as you lie through your teeth: “N-no. I didn’t. I know you wouldn’t lie to me about your feelings towards me.”

Sanji still seems a little cautious. You know that you’re a pretty good liar, so your expression and voice shouldn’t give it away.

Sanji’s eyes then train on the pot, furrowing his brows in confusion: “What’s that? Did you- did you cook something?”

You nod, forcing your smile to grow a little wider. “Yes. Yes I did. As- as an apology to you. I hope it turned out well. It’s why Zoro’s been keeping you out of the kitchen.”

Sanji almost breaks out into a wide smile, but you can see him visibly restraining himself from doing so at the last moment. "F-for me? You cooked something for me?"

You nod once more. "Yeah! I did. I hope you'll like it. I, uh, don't exactly have a lot of cooking experience." 

Sanji nods, stepping closer to the pot, looking inside curiously. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he takes in the scent, discerning the different ingredients you used. 

His expressions aren't giving anything way, after a moment he simply recommends a spice to use. 

"Oh! It didn't say anything about that in the cookbook." You feel a little stubborn and point to the cookbook. 

A brief flash of recognition passes across Sanji's face. "Ah. You took one of mine." 

You bite your lip. "Uh, yeah. It was just laying around, I thought anyone could use it." 

Another lie, you’d found the cookbooks stored away hidden under countless ingredients in an infrequently used corner of the pantry.

Sanji can easily identify the lie as what it is, of course, having put the cookbooks there himself. He doesn’t comment on it, however, just fixing you with an inscrutable gaze.

“Well, these cookbooks don’t know everything. I’d suggest you add the spice for a bit of added flavor.”

You’re about to protest again, but then stop yourself. Your stubborn nature insists on knowing better, but you’ve cooked this in order to apologize to Sanji, after all. It might be smart not to start an argument over your apology meal.

You know where the spice can be found, but you smile at him innocently, having read somewhere that men like being needed for help and that it makes them like you better or something. That certainly can’t hurt for your goal. “Where is that spice? Sorry, I don’t know my way around your kitchen.”

Sanji wordlessly points to the shelf right to your left, where the spice is prominently displayed. You grimace but quickly regain your composure and smile, laughing awkwardly. “Oh! I’m so silly. My bad.” Inside you’re seething, your pride wounded at your failed attempt at manipulation. It’s entirely your own fault, but in your mind Sanji is definitely the one to blame.

Sanji doesn’t seem to be in the mood for much further talking about things after this awkward interaction, so he nods curtly. “I look forward to tasting this food for dinner.” He then excuses himself from the room politely.

You grimace as you stare after his retreating figure. This has gone much worse than you’d hoped. You’re going out of your way to do something for the man, so why isn’t he accrediting you the way you deserve to be? What a stuck-up snob.

Later, during dinner, Luffy is positively ecstatic to get to taste your food.

“Smells so yummy!”, he keeps saying. The other crewmembers are eyeing your culinary creation far more suspiciously, and you’re pretty sure you heard Usopp whispering to Nami if you were trying to poison them all earlier.

Luffy and Sanji are the only ones who immediately start loading food onto their plates. When Zoro crosses his arms and only takes a sip of his beer instead of loading any food onto his plate, Sanji stands up and snaps at him. “Oi, Mosshead! Bea worked very hard on this! Be polite for once in your life and take some food!”

Zoro glares at Sanji but obediently takes some food onto his plate. The others follow shortly after, although you can’t help but notice how small the portions are.

Luffy is already on his second plate and keeps stuffing his face with the food, one octopus tentacle dangling out of his mouth as he speaks “I love it! You should cook together with Sanji so we have even more food! Sanji’s food is the best, but if he teaches you I bet you’ll get there quickly too!”

You beam at Luffy’s praise and look at Sanji, hoping to hear the same sort of praise from the chef himself. Sanji’s giving you a smile, but his cheeks are looking distinctly green and his forehead looks a little sweaty.

You haven’t touched a bite of your own food yet either, and as you load it onto your plate Usopp suddenly yells loudly “GAAAAAAH I KNEW YOU WERE TRYING TO POISON US! What did you put in here, sea slugs and algae?!”

As you look at the other members of the crew, everyone has a similar look of green on their face, some looking utterly repulsed, some looking like they’re about to throw up.

Zoro’s face is a grimace but he loads a second potion onto his plate without complaint, clearly willing do endure the culinary horrors of your making stoically.

Sanji stands up once more, smashing his hands against the table. He speaks in a snarl. “Shut up, Usopp. And you others too. Bea made this food, and you’re all damn well going to eat your fill. None of this is going to waste. She tried her best and that’s what matters. It’s still better than what most of you could cook.”

Luffy, completely oblivious to the tension in the room, grins widely. “That’s okay, Sanji! I’ll just eat everything myself!”

You can see all of the crew members discreetly pushing their plates towards him, all but Sanji and Zoro, who are eating their plates diligently.

Luffy’s hands stretch out and grab at all of the plates being handed to him. He appears to be on cloud nine. Well, at least one of them is happy with your food. When it’s only the monster trio and you left in the room, you address Sanji quietly. “Is it really that bad, Sanji?”

Sanji’s eyes meet yours, a tender smile spreading on his face, the first smile he’s given you since your splitting apart. “Chèrie, it’s not that the food is bad per se. You’re just starting out on your journey, it takes plenty of time and training like most things in life. But I’d say it was a good first attempt.”

Zoro snorts. “Oh, stop kissing her ass. It’s edible, but just barely. Maybe try something easier first before jumping into the fancy stuff that curly eyebrows always makes. You’re asking too much of yourself.”

While Zoro’s advice is solid and meant well, you can’t help but feel irritated. You’ve never been one to handle criticism well, and this time is no different.

Luffy’s words, however, soothe your angry heart. “Whaddya mean just barely?! I think it’s great!”

You smile and nod at Luffy gratefully. “Thanks, captain.” Luffy giggles. “Shishishi! Don’t call me “captain”. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Your smile widens. “Yeah, that’s true. Alright… Luffy.”

Dinner ends on a positive note this way. Sanji insists on cleaning the dishes for you, saying that you’ve spent enough time and energy cooking for the crew today. You can’t help but be a little impressed with how usually he does both things on his own every day, multiple times a day.

As you head to bed that night, you can’t help but feel a little disheartened. You’ve barely even gotten to speak to Sanji today, and you’re frustrated that your food turned out so poorly when you invested so many hours into making it. On the other hand, at least Sanji defended your food – and you – valiantly to the others. But he’d probably have done the same for Nami or Robin. In fact, he’d probably have done it far more intensely for Nami or Robin, granted how distant he’s been with you lately.

As you drift off to sleep your dreams are uneasy and your sleep fitful, filled with feelings of rejection and disheartened feelings.

Chapter 3: Soupe

Summary:

Here's where my naming system for these chapters fails me. Hors d'ouevre and amouse-bouche sound fancy enough, but soup is... well, soup. I'm so sorry that I'm taking so long for these chapters to come out! I had about 60% written about a month ago, but took a horribly long time to refill my Sanji-Angst-o-meter.

Sanji has always wanted a girlfriend. Having been taught to treat all women well, he’d always dreamt of the day he would get to find his very own princess and spoil her to the heavens and above. 

Unfortunately, fate seemed to have other plans for him. While he certainly never stopped trying, most women didn’t exactly take him for full with his admiring and subservient approach. 

He’d been exploited by a few women, sure, but he’d never found the one thing he so desperately wished for - true love. 

But all of that had changed, or so Sanji had thought, when Luffy invited a new crew member to the Strawhat pirates. Bea. Short for Beatrice. A name worthy of an angel. 

Bea was everything Sanji had ever dreamed of. She had long, flowing auburn hair, a sweet smile, rather impressive assets, and the very best thing was - she seemed to be interested in Sanji too. 

Sanji didn’t know what he had done right to deserve a girl like her, but he was over the moon with joy. He’d shower her with his attention, with praise, reading her every wish from her eyes. 

They’d never officially established their relationship or talked about their love explicitly, but Sanji figured that seeing as they were both deeply in love with another, they would automatically be boyfriend and girlfriend. 

Despite his previous obsession with seeing women naked and what could only be called being a total pervert, Sanji found himself realizing something. While he and Bea had started sleeping with one another, it wasn’t the one big highlight of the day for him as it had been with his previous short-lived relationships.

No, Sanji found himself enjoying Bea’s company during the day just as much as during those intimate times. He would always love chasing those exclusive highs and getting to enjoy the divinity that is the female body, but even the quiet moments held so much charm and romance to him that his heart almost leaped out of his chest every time he got to spend time with Bea. 

Sanji had it bad. Really bad. He’d always make sure to make Bea the most exquisite meals, showering her with incredible desserts and cocktails - never leaving his beloved Nami-Swan or Robin-Chwan on the side, of course - and she seemed to revel in his attention just as much as he did in hers. 

So then, why had he ruined it all? During that final confrontation with Bea, he should have begged for her forgiveness. Told her more convincingly that she was the one for him, that he’d already imagined the two of them walking down the aisle, that while he owed Nami-Swan and Robin-Chwan his affection too, they’d always be his nakama first and foremost, while Bea… well, she was his everything. But he had been weak. Weak, weak and stupid. He'd been so shocked to hear her cruel words, so panicked to hear her say the things she did, that he'd been unable to properly function. Unable to think things through and make the right decisions to keep his beloved Bea by his side. He'd wanted nothing more to get down on his knees, pleading with her to give him another chance.

And yet, he’d made her unhappy. He’d made her feel like she wasn’t special to him, like she was interchangeable with any other woman. He’d completely and utterly failed in his job as her boyfriend and future husband. 

Worst of all, Bea had acted like they were just… just lovers. Some passing fling, nothing too noteworthy. She’d claimed to be one of his many lovers. Didn’t she realize how deeply he felt for her? How he’d completely and utterly given her his heart? 

Her words echo in his mind, sharp pain coursing through his chest as he remembers them - “You’re a total player, Sanji, just admit it.”

A player. Had he not told her how much he adored her, every single day? Every hour, whenever possible? And besides, they were boyfriend and girlfriend, right? How could he be a player when they’d been dating each other so happily? 

He’d kept showering Nami-Swan and Robin-Chwan with affection and treats, sure, but he’d never once even thought of being disloyal. Okay, maybe he tried to sneak some peaks into the girls’ bathroom once or twice, but Bea had been in there too, so it was totally excusable! 

But perhaps it was not all over. As much as Sanji had spent his days just staring at the walls in his kitchen, mourning over what he’d lost and what he’d done wrong to lose it, Bea had shown him that she was ready to forgive him. 

She’d made him a meal as an apology. “Foie de poulpe et serpent de mer”, a dish way too complicated for somebody without cooking experience, as she’d shown to be. From an objective standpoint, it had tasted terrible and it had made him sick later that night, but it had been cooked with love from Bea, and that had made it a dish far more divine than anything he himself could ever have created. 

Sanji had personally bribed Usopp, Nami and Chopper to not say a word to Bea after all of them had been sick that night too. Luffy, with his incredible metabolism and dubious methods of digestion, had been completely fine and practically begged Sanji to take on Bea as his apprentice, because in Luffy’s mind, two cooks meant twice the amount of meat. 

Sanji had entertained the idea for a while, getting lost in daydreams of maybe opening his own restaurant with Bea far, far in the future once Luffy had become King of the Pirates and he himself had found the All Blue. How delightfully beautiful she’d look in her cooking apron, with a chef hat to top it off. How he’d personally beat up every single lowlife who dared insult her cooking skills and prove to be a most valiant knight in shining armor for her. Even just thinking about it now, he sighs wistfully, dreaming of this future.

He’d make it up to her. There was no way he would get in the way of his own happy future with the woman he loved, and he’d be damned if he would really allow himself to ruin it all before they’d even gotten married to one another. 

That afternoon, Sanji spends a lot of time diving in the water at the shore of the island the Merry is currently docked at. He was just swimming for leisure earlier when he’d discovered some beautiful shells under water, and he had immediately decided to craft a bracelet for his beloved Bea and give it to her as a form of apology. Initially it had been a rather doable task, but after he’d already found the prettiest shells near the shore he’d had to go deeper and deeper into the ocean, looking for more. 

The shells had become more scarce the further he’d gone, and eventually, much to his dismay, he’d asked the mosshead for help. Zoro had been training near the shore anyways, and seeing as freediving classified as some sort of training too, the two of them had set out to find more shells together. 

Sanji didn’t mind Zoro that much. He was stupid, a jerk, didn’t respect women enough, and his haircolour was straight up offensive to the eyes, but when he asked him for help with anything, even though they usually bickered constantly, Zoro’d help without even a second question. Just plenty of insults to the chef's eyebrows. 

Eventually, the two of them take a break. Sanji had insisted on it so they wouldn’t get even the slightest hints of diver’s disease, not wanting to rope Zoro into something that could potentially harm him, especially knowing of Zoro’s stubborn nature when it came to training. 

They hadn’t talked about the reason for Sanji’s search for shells yet, but Zoro’s figured it out regardless. He speaks quietly, laying on the beach on the shore beside Sanji. “So you’re gonna gift Bea some shells, I guess?” 

Sanji sighs wistfully. “I want to make her a bracelet with only the most beautiful shells I can find. Maybe she’ll forgive me for what I’ve done then.” 

Zoro turns his head around and frowns at Sanji. “What you’ve done? She was the one who threw the jealous fit and ended things between you two just cause she couldn’t handle you bringing Nami and Robin their usual cocktails.” 

Sanji’s eyes widen and he shakes his head quickly. “What, no! I did shower Nami-Swan and Robin-Chwan with too much affection. I made Bea feel like she wasn’t enough, and that’s unforgivable. Don’t dwell on it, mosshead, it’s not like you know much of romance to begin with.” 

Zoro just grunts in response before getting up and resuming the search for seashells together with Sanji. 

They spend a few days doing this, the crew thankfully being docked at the island for a while, allowing the two of them to engage in their search. Sanji would have hated having to leave and needing to use different shells from other places, he wants this gift - and his apology - to be nothing short of perfect. 

Once he’s finally crafted the bracelet, having asked Usopp and Franky for some help to make sure it’s very durable and won’t fall apart quickly, Sanji approaches Bea. He’s got a cocktail and a light snack on his tablet, approaching her with his usual suave confidence, even while his heart is fluttering nervously in his chest.

"Beatrice.", he addresses her. Oh, how he loves saying her name. It's like honey on his tongue, a name truly befitting of an angel like her. 

Bea turns around to him, giving him a hesitant smile. "Yeah?" 

"I've got something for you." Sanji quickly pulls up a table onto which he places the cocktail and snack, and before he can think better of it, he adds: "And something else as well." 

He gets down on one knee, presenting the bracelet on the palm of his hand. "I would like to gift you this bracelet as a form of apology. The way I acted was entirely uncalled for, I never intended to make you feel so bad. I humbly beseech you to forgive me for my misdeeds and give me another chance if you can find it within the kindness of your heart, oh sweet beloved Beatrice." 

Bea's eyes widen considerably. "O-oh, Sanji. Thank you. I accept your apology. You did hurt me pretty bad. So you won't swoon over Nami and Robin anymore now?" 

Something inside Sanji's chest starts to painfully clench when his apology is met with the confirmation that he did indeed hurt her so much. How can he claim to want to be anyone's knight in shining armor when he could possibly hurt the woman he loves? Is he really so faulty? Doesn't he pride himself on treating every lady with nothing but utmost respect? How did it come to this? 

And more importantly, how on earth is he supposed to promise not to swoon over Nami and Robin anymore now? They're his nakama, his dearest friends, and they just so happen to be the prettiest women in the entire world right after Beatrice, followed only by the snake empress that had become so fond of Luffy. Which Sanji still hadn't entirely gotten over. How'd that monkey score a woman like her? 

He bites the inside of his cheek and bows his head. "Yes, mon ange. I promise I will not swoon over Nami-swan or Robin-chwan anymore." He feels like he's betraying himself and his core values even as he says it, but he can't help himself. He's so madly in love with Bea, and if this is what it will take to win her affection back, then he'll do it. 

Bea's eyes narrow and she almost glares at him. "Nami and Robin. Not Nami-Swan and Robin-Chwan." 

Sanji gulps and meets her eyes as he responds. "Y... Yes. Nami... and Robin." He's not sure if he's ever spoken their names so disrespectfully. They're basically goddesses, how could he call their names so disrespectfully, without expressing his admiration through the suffixes? But this is what Beatrice needs in order for him not to hurt her with his behaviour. It is still a sacrifice in the name of love. It's fine, Sanji repeatedly tells himself. Maybe he can still call them Nami-swan and Robin-chwan when Bea isn't there. Or would that be betraying her too? Would she find out through the others and then feel hurt, still? His mind's racing with these new developments, and he finds himself surprised at how queasy he feels, even if he's agreeing to things that will hopefully bring Bea back into his arms. 

Bea crosses her arms. "Okay. You're on probation. If you show me that you mean it for a full week then you can be my lover again." 

Her... her lover? Sanji's face falls. She's making demands of this sort just for being her lover? Does she not realize how much she is asking of him? How willingly he'll sacrifice this for their love, even as she's writing it all off as a simple... love affair?

Beatrice takes the bracelet from the palm of his hand and inspects it closely. "It's pretty. Where'd you buy it?" 

Sanji blushes ever so faintly, a little overwhelmed by the entire situation. "I didn't. I collected all of the shells myself and then Franky and Usopp helped me stabilize the bracelet so it'll be durable even through extreme situations." 

Bea nods, seeming only vaguely impressed. "Ah. So that's why you've been going swimming so much. This is pretty nice. Thank you, Sanji." She gives him a smile and Sanji helps her put the bracelet on, his fingers trembling ever so slightly as he touches her wrist while closing the bracelet around it.

"You know, the reason that I react so negatively around you fawning over our fellow crewmates even though we're just lovers is that I've been hurt before. A lot. My previous long-term boyfriend cheated on me. Multiple times. Hell, there was barely any time where he wasn't cheating on me. So I'm a little cautious when it comes to this sort of stuff. You understand, right?" She flashes him a wide, disarming smile and Sanji can feel his heart doing somersaults in his chest at just how beautiful she is, the way she gets these cute dimples when she smiles.

It takes him a short moment for him to come back to his senses and he immediately takes on a concerned and sympathetic look. "Of course, mon amour. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been hurt like that. You deserve only the best, and whoever that boyfriend was, he could live a thousand livetimes and never deserve you." After a short moment, he adds: "But darling, is that really all we are to you? Lovers? I'd go to the ends of the earth for you. You own my heart, body and soul. You could do me no greater honor than becoming my wi- I mean, girlfriend." He barely catches himself before this becomes incredibly embarassing. 

If he didn't know any better he'd have thought that Bea's expression had just turned decidedly greedy at his promises. But that doesn't make any sense, he must have just imagined it. 

Granted the depth of his confession, he'd have expected some big response, but all he gets is Bea staring at him in shock. "Uh. You wanna be my boyfriend?" 

Sanji's heart feels like it's made out of glass. He's praying that he's not said too much, that he's not pushed her too far, especially if she struggles with trust after that asshole ex of hers hurt her so much. "Yes, Beatrice. Please. I promise to cherish you now and forever. I will be loyal to you for as long as I draw breath." 

It's like watching a robot switch between emotions. First there was shock, then there was vulnerability, then there was greed, and now she appears to switch to a softer side of her. 

"Yes, Sanji. I'd like that. I- I want to be your girlfriend too." Her smile is almost coy now as she smiles at him bashfully. 

He can't believe it. She's actually said yes. SHE SAID YES! Sanji is so elated that he immediately picks her up by her waist and spins her around in pure, unbridled joy. "Really?! Really!! Oh, mon ange, you have just made me the happiest man in the world! I will treat you like nothing short of the goddess you are, and strive to make you happy with each breath I draw!" 

He does three happy little twirls with her before setting her back down and taking both of her hands into his own. "We should celebrate. I'll make you your favourite meal tonight. What would you like? No matter what. I'll make as much as you want. And I'll make sure to hide it all away from Luffy so that greedy bastard doesn't gobble up all of it before you've had your fill." 

Throughout the entire preparation of the meal and the following feast, Sanji is on cloud nine. He's singing happily while cooking on his own in the kitchen, spins around on the spot and dances happily even whenever the other Strawhats are watching. 

His pure elation and joy quickly spreads to the rest of the crew with the exception of two. Luffy, Usopp, Brook and Chopper are up on the tables singing shanties and dancing around with sticks in their noses the second their dishes are empty (and everyone else's too, as far as Luffy was concerned).

Bea's happiness is more subdued in contrast to Sanji's infectious happiness. The crew has never heard him laugh quite as much and crack quite as many jokes, usually he's far too busy upholding his suave look, but tonight he couldn't be any happier if he tried. 

He manages to keep his promises for now, treating Nami and Robin cordially and only ever so slightly better than the rest of the crew, avoiding to say their names so they won't know of him not using the respectful suffixes anymore. 

But amidst all the chaotic happiness spread amongst the crew, there are two that do not join in anywhere near as much as the others. 

Zoro, usually the first to drink himself to a happily blissful state, is drinking moderately, something that has previously been unheard of. He's laughing along with the crew ocassionally but for most of the night his eyes stay trained on Beatrice. Both Zoro's lack in alcohol consumption and his laser focus on Bea are things that Sanji notices, not less attentive due to his immense happiness, but he doesn't comment on it for now. 

Every now and then Zoro and Robin exchange conspiratory looks between the two of them - something seems to be worrying them quite a bit, even as everybody else is happily enjoying the celebration.

Chapter 4: Appetizer

Summary:

Bea and Sanji have started going out (and this time both of them are aware of it). What challenges lay ahead for this new couple?

Notes:

I'm so sorry that this took so long for me to write! Christmas time has been horribly busy, but I hope that the chapter's quality will make up for the long wait. We've got enough angst to feed a whole village!   Content warnings: Explicit, talking about Sanji and Bea's sex life (but not actual smut, if ya get me?), harassment, consensual roughhousing and abuse

Throughout the following two weeks, Sanji feels like he's in heaven.  He didn't know that he could possibly become any happier than during his previous time (thinking he was) dating Bea, but it very much is possible. 

Every morning he wakes her up with her favourite snack, tells her that he'd be more than happy to bring her breakfast to her bed if she so wished. 

When he's not busy working in the kitchen he's constantly hovering around her, making sure not to be too intrusive but always at least in close-enough proximity to fulfill her every wish at so much at a word falling from her lips. 

Frankly, Bea does keep him pretty busy. She's incredibly demanding, asking for snacks at the most impossible times, even whenever he's already left the kitchen for the day and is looking forward to winding down with his beautiful girl in his arms. 

But he never complains, not even once. Not whenever she asks him for ridiculous amounts of berri to spend on jewelry (which she doesn't even pretend she'll ever pay him back), not when she tells him that his cooking used to be better (which makes him try to work even harder), not whenever she'll randomly push him out of bed and call him a pervert when all he'd done was hold her close and marvel at her beauty. 

Daft as he may sometimes be around women, Sanji isn't stupid. He's aware of her behaviour not being okay, but he brushes it off as a meager price to pay in order to get to date her. 

One thing he cannot brush off, however, is whenever he sees Bea hang out with Zoro more and more. 

He'll catch her watching the swordsman work out, giving him some of the snacks Sanji had made for her whenever she's already full, talking with Zoro more and more. 

One evening, when Beatrice had promised him that the two of them would hang out after he'd finished washing the dishes, she doesn't show up in his quarters. 

Sanji heads out to the deck looking for her and is about to call out her name when the words die in his throat. 

He can hear Beatrice's laughter echoing down from the crow's nest, the usually so beautiful symphony of her angelic voice tainted by a much deeper, masculine voice. Zoro's. 

Sanji freezes in his tracks. Did she forget about their planned meeting? He knows Zoro's on night watch, so it makes sense for him to be up in the crow's nest. But why is Bea there? 

And what are they laughing about? 

Sanji takes off his shoes, careful not to make a single noise as he starts to ascend the ropes towards the crow's nest. Overhearing a lady's conversation isn't something he thought he'd ever do, but he can't help himself. His heart feels like it's being squeezed to death by a sea king just hearing Bea laughing with Zoro like this. 

It gets worse, however. Once he's close enough to overhear their conversation, his heart actively skips a beat. Then two. Then three. 

Bea's words are so callous, so cruel. "Yeah, and do you see how stupid he looks every time he's fawning over me? Like his nostrils go super wide and honestly he looks more like a pig than a man." She even snickers. 

Zoro's words are a lot more controlled, more held back. "He certainly does look a lot like his wanted poster." 

Sanji's hands tighten around the ropes so tightly that the rope starts cutting into his hands. A shiver goes down his body from thinking of that thrice-cursed ugly wanted poster. 

Bea continues. "And oh my god he's so touchy. Ugh. So annoying. No wonder everyone calls him a pervert. He totally is one. Doesn't keep his hands off of me even for a second when we're in private. If I didn't love him I'd call it harassment." 

This time Sanji is glad for Bea's callous laughter, because it serves well to be loud enough to mask the choked sob that escapes him. It's not true. Is it? He's always made sure to be so polite towards Bea. To ask her multiple times if she was interested in doing anything intimate on each respective night. Respecting her sometimes arbitrary seeming reasons for denying him even basic physical proximity. 

How could she think of him like this? Like his tender, loving touch was harassing. It takes him all he has to remain quiet and surpress his sobs as he hangs there on the ropes, silently crying. 

To his surprise, Zoro's voice can be heard defending him. "Really. He doesn't strike me as the type. More like he'd be too scared to hurt a girl's feelings to even do anything with her in the first place." 

Okay, that's not great either. Zoro's basically calling him a virgin, but still, he's surprised to hear the mosshead defend him in the first place. From his very own girlfriend, no less. 

Bea snorts derisively. "Yeah? I'm still sore. Man doesn't give me any rest at night, like ever. Chopper's given me something to numb the pain, at least, but yeah. He doesn't hold back. He's too much of a pervert to care about his partner's comfort." 

Zoro just huffs in response. 

Sanji's not sure if he can listen to this any longer. That can't be right. It absolutely can't be. He's always been so gentle with Bea. Sure, she'd asked him to be really rough with her a few nights ago, but that was after she'd specifically requested that multiple times. He'd asked for her permission countless times, and every time she'd asked him to hit her he'd felt a piece of his heart crumple and die. 

He wouldn't hit a woman. Ever. But Bea was his girlfriend. And had specifically told him that she was into being hit and mistreated, as being used as less than. So he'd sacrificed his morals, his number one priority, to make her happy. He had cried during the act and felt so utterly repulsed with himself, but Bea hadn't noticed, her back being turned to him. He'd taken the next day off, pretending to be sick, crying bitter tears in his quarters, hating himself for what he'd done. At her request. With her permission. But still, he'd hit a woman. His woman. He didn't deserve to call himself a man anymore. 

And now she was telling Zoro that... what? That he was a mindless brute? Completely indifferent to her well-being and comfort. Had he made her feel this way? But she'd been begging him for some roughhousing. He was a disgusting piece of shit for complying, but that's what she had wanted. Had he missed signs of her secretly telling him to stop? But they had established a safe word, which she hadn't used. His mind is spinning and not only that, it feels like the world is spinning around him. Not the best condition to be in when currently suspended in mid-air, clinging to some ropes. 

He falls. He can't even remember letting go of the ropes, but apparently he has. The last thing he sees is the crow's nest of the Going Merry, getting smaller and smaller in the distance as the air rushes by around him. 

He hits the deck with a resounding thud and then everything turns to black. 

Chapter 5: Salad

Summary:

After falling off the ropes of the Going Merry and hitting the deck hard, Sanji has been unconscious. A little bit of a wholesome Strawhat get-together before we jump into the deep end of angst once again. Content warning: Suicidal suspicions

Notes:

If not for @mere-mortifer, this fic would be receiving far less love from me than it is. Thank you so very, very much for always commenting, you make torturing Sanji through Bea so much more fun and I'm so glad we can enjoy some heavy angst together!   I've decided to throw out another chapter right away! Consider it my apology for being so inconsistent with the updates.

He's dreaming. 

It's a swirl of different dreams, short snapshots of his family and the loneliness he's felt, intermixed with snapshots of his time with the Strawhats, of finally having a found family he could call his own, snapshots of the island he'd spent so much time on in complete isolation, waiting for a ship to come rescue them together with Zeff. And Bea. Beautiful, lovable Bea, the girl he married. He can see the wedding ceremony and the beautiful tiny little girl they had, who inherited Sanji's blonde hair and Bea's beautiful eyes. 

When he finally wakes up from days of laying in a coma he's rather disoriented by being met with Zoro's grey eyes rather than Bea's. He blinks rapidly and groans. "Mosshead?" 

Zoro's previously stoic expression widens into a small, but genuine smile. "Oh thank god, curly brows." 

Before Sanji can even fully register what's happening, big, strong arms have enveloped him and it feels like he's being squeezed to death. He wheezes helplessly as Zoro seems intent on forcing every single bit of air out of his lungs in a crushing hug. 

"C-Can't... can't breathe...", he finally manages to get out, and Zoro's grip lessens. He lets Sanji back down onto the sick bed, and looks at him with a frown. "You had us all worried to death, idiot." 

"What happened?" 

Zoro's gaze darkens. "I'd like you to tell me that. I was out on night watch when suddenly I heard a loud noise. When I checked, you were there, laying on the deck, looking like..." He averts his eyes and his voice quiets down. "Looking like you were dead". 

Sanji's mind is foggy and so is his memory. He frowns. "I- So I fell onto the deck? Why?" 

Zoro grimaces, meeting Sanji's eyes steadily, worry in his. "Bea said you jumped." 

Sanji's eyes widen in shock. "What? She said what? Why would I?"

Zoro shrugs, looking away again. "How the hell should I know? You're the one that was suddenly on the deck. And you'd taken off your shoes. We've all been worried sick." 

"I'd taken off my...? Huh?" 

Zoro shrugs again. "Robin said that that might have some significance, but she wasn't sure." After a short pause he adds. "Do you want me to get you anything? Or should I get Chopper?"

Sanji shakes his head. "No, I'll talk to Chopper later. Have you been here for long?" 

Zoro clears his throat. "Nah. Just thought I'd check in. You've been out cold for five whole days. Obviously I've not been by your side all that time." The forced laugh that comes after sounds so unnatural and so unlike Zoro that Sanji isn't sure if maybe he might still be dreaming. 

"Right. Where's Bea?" 

Zoro looks almost angry at the question. "Fuck if I know. Sorry to tell you, curly brows, but she's not been here once since the first day. Everyone else has been here, taking shifts. Luffy tried to stuff some meat down your throat a few times thinking it would fix you, but we thankfully prevented him from suffocating you like that."

It sounds so much like something Luffy would do that Sanji can't help but smile, even through the pain of knowing of Bea's absence.

Zoro continues. "Nami and Robin were here a lot too. They took turns reading you stories. Chopper said that some of what we say might get through to your subconscious and have a positive effect on your healing. Which isn't a proven theory, he says, but it'd be worth a shot. Anyways, it gave everyone something to do besides just worry about you. Usopp and Luffy were singing you songs about recovering that they made up themselves. You can be glad that you missed that, it was god awful." 

Sanji's brows crease in confusion. "Wait. How do you know all this? If you haven't been here the entire time." 

Zoro stares at him for a few seconds. "Uh. Cause we've been talking about you and what to do all the time. Obviously. Idiot cook." 

"Right." 

The two stare at each other silently until the silence becomes super uncomfortable and they both have to look away. 

Eventually, Zoro gets up. "Right. I guess I'll go get Chopper." 

He leaves quickly. Sanji notices that Zoro's three swords are laying on the sofa in the room, as if Zoro had been sleeping here. Come to think of it, Zoro leaving without taking his swords with him? He must be really out of it. 

Chopper comes in shortly after, beaming at Sanji. "Sanji! I'm so glad you're okay. There wasn't much I could do for you, all that we could do was sit around and wait for you to wake up again. How are you feeling?" 

After letting Chopper check him through thoroughly, Sanji feels like he has to address the elephant in the room. "I- I wouldn't have jumped. You know that, right? You guys are my family. I wouldn't do that to you. Not in a million years." 

Chopper nods and smiles at Sanji. "Yeah. Zoro said the same thing. Honestly, it was only really Bea that believed that theory. Robin was telling us all about the likelihood of suicidal ideation which made everyone super uncomfortable, but I don't think she actually believed in that either. After all, you're our Sanji, right?" Chopper laughs awkwardly, clearly at unease with the topic. 

Sanji reaches over and ruffles the fur on Chopper's head, the reindeer not wearing his signature hat at the moment. "Yeah. I'm your Sanji." 

Chopper seems greatly relieved at the reassurance, bouncing off the chair he'd pulled up. "Right! You can get up any time you want. Might feel a little dizzy at first from your circulation being so out of practise, so please take this cane. I know it looks silly, but just to make sure." Chopper runs to the corner of the room before coming back with a highly overcomplicated-looking metal cane with a few buttons on its side. 

Sanji smiles at Chopper warmly. "Well, if you say so, I'll make sure to use it. I'd be a fool to ignore our awesome doctor's advice after all." 

Chopper beams and flails his body around happily. "Oh shut up, you moron! I can totally see what you're doing, buttering me up. That won't work on me! Hehe." 

Chopper leaves him alone to do as he prefers after that, and Sanji uses the cane to get up. After the initial dizziness, he quickly regains his strength by practising his steps. 

He's feeling a little overwhelmed by everything, but at least his memory is finally clearing up on what had happened before. He'd heard... Zoro talking to Bea. Was that it? It feels right. 

But why would he have fallen? Did Bea see him jump? Is that why she assumes he did? 

He sighs, leaning heavily on the cane as he pauses. Nothing makes sense as of yet. Maybe talking to Bea would solve this mystery. But he can't deny that he doesn't exactly feel excited to talk to Bea. He'd been so eager to see her again right after waking up, but if what Zoro said is true... 

One single visit. In five days? He hates himself for comparing the situation to the reverse, but he would have spent every single waking minute at Bea's bedside. He'd have moved her sick bed into the kitchen to continue watching over her even as he took care of his duties of cooking for the ever-insatiable crew. 

He's not asking for too much. Is he? After all, they're not just friends. Bea is his girlfriend. Or... wife? Where's the image of her at the altar coming from? He shakes his head, feeling confused, but checks his ring finger just to make sure. Nothing. Okay, so he's not married. 

Still, married or not, she should have been there for him more. Is it because she thinks he jumped? Does she resent him for thinking he wanted to leave her behind? 

Sanji feels exhausted. He's slept for five days straight, but he doesn't feel like he has the energy to deal with Bea right now. That thought in and out of itself just drains him even further. That his own girlfriend, someone he loves with all his heart, is a burden to deal with. It makes tears well up in his eyes which he quickly swipes away. Damn fall, making him emotional like this. 

He finally makes his way out of the infirmary, only to immediately be floored by an overly enthusiastic Luffy. "SANJIIIIIII!!!!!! YOU'RE OKAY!" Luffy's basically yelling, wrapping his long rubber arms around Sanji and lifting him back up. His eyes are shining with excitement and relief. 

Sanji huffs. "Not if you send me to the floor like that, I'm not.", but he can't help but start smiling at the infectious energy. And when he looks around, all of the others are there too. Nami, Robin, Zoro, Chopper, Usopp and Luffy have all gathered to welcome him back to the land of the living. 

Robin's many devil fruit arms pass a "get well soon" card over to him, which he takes into his hands, smiling at what appears to be Robin's self-made drawing of some kittens nursing him back to health.

Nami has apparently baked a muffin with some decoration resembling Sanji's hair style which she's holding in her hands on a plate, beaming at him in relief and waving him hello.

Usopp has a manual in his hands about all of the awesome features that Sanji's cane has (which is another great invention by the amazing Captain Usopp TM). 

Zoro steps forward, patting Sanji on the shoulder. "Good to have you back, waiter. Finally we don't need to eat the crappy food Nami and Usopp have been putting together anymore." 

He goes down quickly after suffering a hit by Nami, who shouts at him. "Yeah then you try and make better food yourself next time! You didn't even try to help!" 

Sanji can't help but smile widely. His crew. His family. And when he spots Beatrice making her way towards the group, he feels such a huge weight lift off of him, that he nearly starts crying there and then. 

"Beatrice." He gazes at her lovingly. She's even more beautiful than he remembers her. 

"Hey there. Glad to see you up and about again. Gave us all a good scare." She's smiling back at him, and all of the rest of the world fades away at the sight of it. 

The other Strawhats discreetly slink back, Nami giving Sanji a wink before removing herself from the picture. 

Sanji hesitantly takes a step closer to Bea, but she moves towards him on her own already, pulling him into a big hug. It's a lot more tender and gentle than Zoro's was, this time Sanji can't feel any ribs cracking from the force alone, thankfully. 

The amount of relief he feels at her hug, at the proof that she does care, it's overwhelming. He'd felt so vulnerable, so scared of there being an issue between the two of them since he'd woken up again, but the hug reassures him and makes him feel safe once again. 

"Missed you", he murmurs into her hair, breathing in her scent like a man starved. 

She chuckles. "I thought you've been out cold for the past five days? If anything I was the one missing you." His heart soars with joy just hearing those simple words. 

"Really? You missed me?" 

"Of course I did, you big dummy. I was so scared you weren't going to wake up anymore." 

He rests his chin on top of her head. "I dreamt of you. A lot." 

"Good things, I hope?" 

He huffs. "Of course good things. You're the love of my life, I'd never dream or think ill of you." 

Bea hums. "Just making sure." 

She pulls back and looks at him, smiling. "You must be starving. Come, I made you something." 

He follows her to the kitchen, where everything is in far more disarray than he'd ever let it get to. Never having cooked in his kitchen before Usopp and Nami seem to not have known where to put most of the utensils back, so there a plenty of pans and pots standing around. At least they've been cleaned. 

On one of the kitchen counters lays what appears to be a simple ham and cheese sandwhich, accompanied by a bowl of suspiciously inedible looking salad. Bea presents the two things proudly. "Here! Something with some kick to it and some nutritious vegetables." 

He smiles and thanks her awkwardly, but eats dilligently. There's so much salad dressing that the hair on the back of his neck stands up straight from disgust, but he tries not to let it show and finishes the whole bowl before eating the sandwhich as well. 

He can't wait to get back into the kitchen and save himself from Bea's culinary horrors again. At least the muffin that Nami had made looked really tasty, he's very much looking forward to eating that. Just thinking about how his beloved Nami-Swan took the time and care to bake him something, and even decorate it with a silly piece representing his hair, it could make him swoon with happiness. Unfortunately, he did actually swoon a little bit, earning him a hefty smack on the head from Bea. "What the hell are you thinking about?!" She looks positively vicious, and Sanji is reminded of that phrase he once read in an old book: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". 

He quickly clears his throat and smiles apologetically. "Sorry, my darling. Your salad is simply swoon-worthy." Her eyes narrow in mistrust, but she lets it go for now. 

Sanji can't help but let out a sigh. It's not been that long, and he's already pissed her off again. Couldn't she at least give him a bit longer of a recovery period before getting mad at him again?

Her furious voice reminds him of something. Something he'd tried to forget. A cruel and callous voice, making a horrible comment. Multiple horrible comments. 

He flinches as if struck, staring at Beatrice. "You told Zoro I'd hurt you." The memory comes rushing back to him. The horrible conversation he'd overheard. Resulting in the fall. 

Beatrice seems a little confused at the sudden change in topic, but quickly gathers herself. "Huh? But you did hurt me, darling. Don't you remember?" Her smile is so sweet, so kind. 

And she's right. He had hurt her, hadn't he? He'd hit her. Multiple times. Out of his own free will. No devil fruit or other outside force controlling his actions. His own hands, striking at her face, her beautiful, beautiful body that he so adored. 

His eyes widen with shock as he remembers it all. Tears well up involuntarily as he stares at her, lips quivering. "Oh god. Oh god, my darling, I'm so sorry. How could I hurt you? How could I do that to you?" 

Bea's eyes become calculating as she fixes him with a glare. "Because you're no more than your base instincts, Sanji. You were like an animal. It's been a week and a half and the bruises are only now disappearing. I had to lie and cover for you to Nami and Robin when they saw them in the shower, you know? The things I do for you." 

He wants to reach out to her, but his hand freezes mid-air. A choked sob escapes his throat as he starts begging. "My darling. Oh god. I don't know why- Why I would do something to you- you deserve so much better, you don't deserve to be treated like that, I'm so sorry, so, so, so damn sorry, please, please forgive me, I can't- I don't-", he trails off, not even knowing what he's saying anymore as his vision becomes blurry due to his tears. 

Beatrice steps closer, her hand finding Sanji's arm and stroking it up and down. "Ssh. It's okay. I forgive you. If you make it up to me." 

He's practically whimpering at this point. "Anything. I'll do anything. Oh god, darling, Beatrice, mon ange, I'm so sorry. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I don't know how I could treat you this way. You poor, innocent angel. I'm so sorry." 

"Ssh." She shushes him once more. "It's okay, darling. You are but a man, at the end of the day. Barely more than an animal." 

Beatrice guides him to his room, where he falls asleep sobbing desperately against her chest, so eager for the comfort she provides. So desperate for the reassurance that he's not a monster. 

She holds him against her body, speaking soothingly, stroking his back, smiling to herself at just how dependent he's going to become on her from this point forth. 

Chapter 6: Poisson

Summary:

Poisson = Fish in French. These chapter titles are as close to culinary knowledge as I'll ever get. Zoro confronts Sanji.

Notes:

So yeah! Third chapter in one day. Don't ask me how. Guess it's all just one big writing flow. Originally I wanted to make the chapter a little longer, but I don't think there's any more to get out of Zoro's POV right at this moment, so we'll end it there to have a smooth swap back to our dysfunctional couple next time.

Zoro is starting to get seriously worried about Sanji. He's always been a bit stupid in the head - no wonder with ridiculous eyebrows like that - but Beatrice has been a terrible influence on him. And since Sanji's jump, fall, whatever it was, things have only become worse. So much worse. 

Sanji has started bending over backwards for Beatrice at every turn. He's made the crew wait for their meals, has neglected his night shift, even once insulted Robin at Beatrice's command. After which he'd profusely apologized and cooked Robin twenty different snacks to make up for it, but still. 

Sanji has changed, and Zoro's not the only one who can see it. But Zoro is the most worried. 

Nami's mostly shrugged the issue of as Sanji being a simp as per usual and has promised that if things stay the same or get worse, she'll have a word with Beatrice. 

Zoro has been talking to Robin about the issue a lot, but that hasn't exactly been helpful. In fact, it's made Zoro's worries just that much worse, but no wonder, with how many books on abuse and manipulation Robin had produced and started citing. Smart as he may be, Zoro had been completely overwhelmed with the sheer amount of information Robin had provided. Besides, Beatrice was a crewmate. She wouldn't have any reason to want to abuse and manipulate Sanji. She probably just had really shitty manners, social skills and no idea how to act in a relationship. Zoro still thought he'd be able to set her straight with a firm talking-to. 

Sanji has certainly been deaf to Zoro's words, no matter how many times Zoro tried to breach the subject. In fact, Sanji won't talk about Beatrice with him at all. He seems almost... scared, whenever Zoro brings her up. Not scared of Beatrice, but scared of Zoro. He's never acted that way before, and the two of them still bicker and fight normally outside of conversations about Beatrice, so Zoro's got no idea what the hell's going on. 

Zoro thinks back to that conversation he'd had with Beatrice in the crow's nest a lot. After that point, he hadn't really seen Sanji act normally anymore.

How Beatrice had told him all those vile things about Sanji. That he hadn't respected her comfort and properly abused her. Which Zoro doesn't believe any more now than he did then. 

But the true question is - why does Beatrice want him to believe that that is the truth? What on earth would she gain by making Zoro think Sanji was abusive. 

He's been more docile, more obedient towards Beatrice as of late, yes. But abusive? Zoro can't imagine that, no matter how hard he tries. 

As inofficial first mate of the crew, he feels that it is his duty to fix this. Luffy's too much of an airhead to ever suspect one of his friends of doing any evil, so it's up to Zoro. 

Zoro catches Sanji on his own as he's currently fishing on one side of the Going Merry. Luffy and Usopp are fishing on the other side. Zoro grabs his fishing rod and sits down beside Sanji. 

Sanji doesn't acknowledge him, just stares out at the sea. Normally Zoro is the first to enjoy the silence while fishing, but he can't do that today. Not when there are important matters to discuss. 

"Sanji". Saying his name feels strange. He can't remember the last time he'd called him by his name, if ever. It's always been "curly brows", "idiot", "waiter", or some other variation. 

Sanji snaps his head around to look at Zoro, eyes narrowing as he looks at him and the unfamiliar greeting. "Zoro." It's just as jarring hearing his own name back from the blonde's lips. 

The two stare at each other in silence for a short while before Zoro finally continues. "You're not happy." 

He's not even sure why that's what he leads with. All his ideas of how to approach this, carefully talked through with Robin in advance, thrown out for saying something so simple and so stupid. Great job, Roronoa, he chides himself.

"I didn't know you were suddenly an expert on feelings." Sanji's remark lacks its usual bite. It's not an insult, just a neutral observation. 

The two sit and fish in silence for a while until Zoro finally manages to continue. "I'm not. But you... you worry me." 

Sanji scoffs, clearly about to say something like "Since when do you care about me" out of habit, but he stops himself and falls silent. Neither of them are used to this sort of straightforward talk. No usual bickering, no random insults to hurl at each other's heads for once. That they care for each other is a given anyways, making such a remark redundant. 

"There's nothing for you to worry about. I didn't jump." 

"That's not what I mean." 

Sanji scoffs. "Then what are you concerned about?" 

"I don't think Beatrice is good for you." There. Now he's said it. The cat's out of the bag, and as expected, Sanji tenses up. 

"You have no idea what's good for me." Sanji is immediately defensive. Not the best start. 

Zoro sighs deeply. "Sanji. I wouldn't bring this up if I wasn't seriously worried." 

Sanji's fists clench around the fishing rod. "You should be worried for Bea. Not for me." 

Z: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

S: "It means that- oh, whatever. Just forget about it." 

Z: "How am I supposed to forget about that?" 

S: "I don't care. Just... do." 

Zoro huffs in frustration and turns towards Sanji. "Come on, man. Talk to me. I can't help you if you don't-"

Sanji cuts him off and glares at him. "I don't WANT your damn help!"

Zoro falls silent for a few moments. "I think you need help, whether you want it or not." 

Sanji basically snarls and grabs Zoro by his collar quickly. "I don't give a damn what you think. Leave me alone, mosshead." 

He's back to the insults. Back to the safe territory of insults and banter, not willing to open himself up to Zoro. 

Zoro shoves him back. "We're not done talking about this. Sanji." He deliberately uses his name, trying to regain that fragile balance they'd managed to uphold mere seconds ago. 

But Sanji's had it with him. He can't face what he's done. He can't face the fact that Zoro knows about what he did to Beatrice. He can't accept the fact that Zoro knows that he's a monster. Maybe he'll want to tell the crew. Maybe he's looking for Sanji to confess and then he'll tell everyone. And then they'll see him for what he truly is. A monster, a vile pig, a disgrace to his friends, to the crew. 

So Sanji attacks Zoro with a flurry of kicks, sending him flying into the wall a short distance away from them. 

Why didn't he defend himself? He'd had his swords right at his fingertips, and Sanji knows just how quick Zoro is able to draw them, as countless previous sparring sessions have proven to him. 

Yet he just took his kicks.

Zoro groans and sits upright against the wall, holding his stomach in pain. Sanji hadn't held back, attacking Zoro with the usual ferocity, fully expecting Zoro's quick response and blocking of the kicks. 

Luffy and Usopp come rushing over from the other side of the ship. Luffy yells. "What the hell happened?" 

Sanji just stands there, hands in the pockets of his trousers, staring at Zoro without a word. Zoro gets up and comes over to them. "Nothing. Nothing happened." 

But his face is still twisted in pain. Sanji can't stand to see Zoro like that so he snaps at him. "Why the hell didn't you parry my kicks, shitty swordsman?"

Zoro's eyes fix on Sanji's and he snaps back. "Cause I was talking to you, not fighting you, you damned moron." 

Usopp tries to make peace between the two. "Now calm down, both of you, I'm sure if we just-" 

"Oh shut the hell up, longnose.", Sanji snaps. Everyone falls silent. It's increasingly obvious just how much Sanji has changed over the course of the past few weeks. 

Luffy frowns. "Sanji. Zoro. Why?" 

Zoro grimaces. "I was trying to have a serious conversation with him."

Sanji barks back. "I never agreed to having a conversation with you." 

Luffy looks between the two, clearly at a loss for what to do. Emotional intelligence isn't exactly his strong suit, after all. 

Eventually he settles for a diplomatic: "You need to fix this. Between you. Whatever it is." 

Then he strolls off to rejoin Usopp. 

Sanji and Zoro are left standing there. Finally, Sanji relents. "Want me to get some ice for your stomach?"

"I'll live. I'd rather you talked to me." 

Sanji's gaze darkens. "I overheard you and Bea on the crow's nest."

"I don't believe her. The things she said about you. I don't believe a word of it." 

"Well, you should." 

Zoro's face falls. He'd expected anything but that. "No. I don't- You wouldn't." 

"I would. And I did." 

"No. Sanji. There's no way." Zoro tentatively reaches his hand out towards Sanji, unsure of what he even wants to do with it. 

"There is a way. That's who I am. Just look at yourself." Sanji points to Zoro's stomach where his kicks are bound to leave a few ugly bruises. 

"No. This is... This is Beatrice's fault. This isn't you." 

"Blaming the victim, are you? How mature of you." It's a low blow, and Sanji knows it. But the words are out before he can stop them, hurt flashing across Zoro's face. 

Zoro clenches his fists. "Dammit. Stop. Stop being someone else for her. You're acting the exact way she paints you out to be. Can't you see that?" 

Sanji scoffs. "The way she paints me out to be? You're being delusional. She's told you who I am. Who I've always been. You're just too damn stubborn and stuck in your preconceived notions to realise it." 

Zoro shakes his head. "No. I don't believe it. I'm not going to let her convince me of that too, even if she's got you fully subscribed to the idea." 

Sanji's eyes flash with anger. "Then be delusional. Just... just stay away from me. I don't want your sympathy and I damn well don't deserve it."

Zoro looks after him helplessly as Sanji departs. 

Chapter 7: First main course

Summary:

With a chapter title that imposing I feel a little pressured to produce a good chapter. Sanji and Zoro work to overcome their differences.

Notes:

We're stepping on cannon material now. I'm going off of my memory alone because I want this work to remain independent and not lose itself in making sure to be 100% accurate to the manga / anime, so if I remember things wrong, then hooray for unique plot. Is it the fourth chapter in one day? Yes. Do I know how to restrain myself? No. Will there eventually have to be a horribly long break again? Please no. Content warnings: Mention of harassment, violation, Beatrice's usual shenanigans

Things haven't been so merry anymore aboard the Going Merry. Not since the huge fight between Sanji and Zoro. 

They've barely spoken to each other since besides a few obligatory words and Zoro's "thank you"s when being given food by Sanji. 

Beatrice had asked Sanji for another session of roughhousing. At this point, Sanji barely even felt like he had a choice anymore. He was a monster, he was scum. He beat women, he didn't differentiate between gender, nor between whether or not he was in love with whom he hurt. He's glad Zeff can't see him as he is now. He knows the old geezer would be more than disappointed. He'd be thoroughly appalled. He'd probably tell him that a monster like him could never be his son. That he regretted saving him. That he regretted sacrificing his leg for Sanji. 

Sanji loses weight. A considerable amount. Nami and Robin try to talk to him, but Beatrice punishes him harshly every time he speaks to them by denying him physical proximity as well as the love and affection he so craves. So he avoids Nami and Robin when they try to speak to him. Every now and then a hint of the old Sanji will surface and he'll swoon over them, but those ocassions become more and more rare. 

Even Luffy has been trying to talk to him and fix things. But it's always a stalemate with him. Luffy believes in Sanji and won't listen to Sanji talk himself down. So they get nowhere. 

Usopp and Chopper try to talk to Sanji as well, but Beatrice intervenes before they manage to have any effect. She tells them that Sanji is going through a very difficult time after hitting her, and that he needs to be left alone for now. The two of them want to do what's best for Sanji, so they comply. 

In turn, Sanji is completely isolated. The only person he has left is Beatrice. The Strawhats feel more divided than ever and what was once a joyful crew is now filled with mistrust. 

Zoro and Luffy start having long conversations with each other. They both know that this isn't right, that something needs to be done. But they simply don't know what to do. 

Things get even worse when they come across a small island where they meet Marine Admiral Aokiji. A fight breaks out during which Zoro, Luffy and Robin become frozen, encased in ice. 

Zoro had taken the hit for Sanji, and in turn, Sanji feels even worse. He feels useless, like he's barely worth the title of fighter on the crew anymore, his reduced weight and stamina subtracting from the power of his kicks. He watches over Zoro the entire time while he is encased in ice. He feels terrible for Luffy and Robin as well, but it's worst with Zoro. Zoro's condition he feels personally responsible for. He spends day and night hugging the ice statue that Zoro has become, hoping to warm him up as quickly as possibly with his own body heat whenever the shower stall is occupied with trying to save Luffy and Robin. 

One morning after a long night spent hugging the ice-cold Zoro he wakes up to find a lot of fluffy fur surrounding him. Apparently Chopper had changed into another one of his forms - the "cuddle point", judging by the look of him - to make sure Sanji wouldn't become too cold during the night. The sight and knowledge of his crewmate's care for him brings a bittersweet smile to Sanji's lips. 

He removes himself from the bed, letting Chopper hug Zoro instead. He knows the reindeer won't mind the coldness of the ice, or at least he assumes so. He gazes down at his crewmates wistfully before returning to his own quarters. While he loves Chopper for looking out for him, he simply doesn't feel deserving of it anymore. 

The next morning, he's woken up by screaming aboard the ship. It's Usopp, shouting "THEY'RE AWAKE! THEY'RE ALIVE! OH MY GOOOOOOODDDDD!!!" 

Sanji immediately rushes over to the infirmary, where Luffy is already up and about, demanding meat, while Robin is sitting up in bed with a gentle smile on her face. His heart sings with joy seeing the two of them alive and well, but his eyes immediately train on Zoro who's sitting on the edge of his sick bed, yawning. 

He can't help himself. It's like his feet have a mind of their own, carrying him over to Zoro before he can stop them. He pulls Zoro into a massive hug, burying his face against his shoulder. 

"You idiot.", he mumbles. "Don't go tanking hits for me like that." 

Zoro just huffs, mildly surprised, but is quick to return the hug. 

It's their first real interaction since their fight. Sanji had constantly worried over their fight being the last time he'd ever spoken to Zoro. His mind had spiralled and practically gone mad with worry and grief. It would all have been his fault. 

To get to hug Zoro once more, to get to insult him, it's more than he thought he'd get. So when the tears come, he doesn't stop them. 

Zoro doesn't react in the slightest, just keeps on holding him tightly in the hug. Sanji feels incredibly grateful for Zoro's stoic demeanor in that moment, this way none of the crew need to see his tears or get to see his trembling frame in the first place. 

They stay intertwined like that even once the others have cleared out of the room, Luffy eager to raid the pantry (which Sanji doesn't even care about whatsoever for once) and Robin eager to give the two some time to talk to one another. 

Once he's at least somewhat calmed down, Sanji speaks up hesitantly. "I think you were right. I do need help. I- I keep getting worse." 

Zoro doesn't say much. Just: "I'm here." But it's all Sanji needs in that moment. He doesn't need big proclamations. He doesn't require some intricate exclamations that he knows Zoro would never be able to provide in the first place. All he needs is for Zoro to be there. And he is. 

After Sanji has calmed down and his sobs have quieted down somewhat, Zoro speaks up again. "Thank you. For trusting me." 

Sanji nods and gives Zoro a small, teary smile. "Thank you for becoming an ice statue for me." 

Zoro gives him a lopsided, shit-eating grin. "I like taking long naps." 

"Idiot". 

"You're the idiot." 

"True." 

Sanji eventually huffs. "We look like a couple." 

Zoro scoffs. "Well, we're more affectionate than you and that damn girlfriend of yours." 

Sanji doesn't protest. He feels safe with Zoro. Far safer than he's felt with Beatrice in a very long while. But he can't help but crack a small joke regardless. "No homo." 

Zoro actually laughs at that. "No homo." 

Sanji moves back, awkwardly situated in Zoro's lap as he looks up at the other man's eyes earnestly. "I- I'd like to lay off the fighting with you for a while entirely. Like not even any play-fights. Is that okay with you?" 

Zoro nods immediately. "Yeah. Sure. Guess you're tired of losing." 

Sanji can't help but grin. "In your dreams, marimo." Then he sighs and settles in comfortably with his flank to Zoro's stomach, head resting against his chest. "Hold me for a while." 

It's not exactly a plea, but not quite a demand either. Zoro complies either way, wrapping his arms around Sanji once more. "I got you." 

"I don't want to be so alone anymore. I've always felt like that was the difference between my fami- between before I met the crew, and being with the crew. That noone was ever alone. But now everyone feels so split apart and it sucks and I can't- it's hurting me.", Sanji confesses. 

"I'm here." Those two simple words again. The inflection slightly different, but the meaning is clear. Sanji won't need to feel alone anymore. He's got his best friend by his side. His demons won't be easy to fight, but who better to fight them with than the demon swordsman himself? He shakes his head and chides himself for being so cheesy. 

Zoro speaks carefully and slowly. "Tell me about how you hit Bea." 

Sanji tenses up. Is this conditional? Will Zoro take back his offer of being there whenever he confesses? "She- she said that was something she liked. In an intimate context. Th-that it turned her on whenever I hit her." 

Zoro scoffs. "And you just did what she asked? How spineless are you?" 

Sanji's completely rigid in Zoro's arms by this point. That's it. The thing he'd feared. Zoro's gonna hate him for this. They'll all hate him for this. "I-I wanted to make her happy, even if it was through that horrible way." 

Zoro sighs and his grip on Sanji tightens. "Damned moron. Just like you to make yourself unhappy for a damned girl. Throwing away all your core values."

Sanji's words are just as stiff as his body. "I don't need your judgement." 

"Yeah, well, you're getting it." 

They fall silent for a while after that. Zoro eventually breaks the silence. "So you never truly hit her. Not in the way she was trying to make it look like." 

"For all intents and purposes, I did in fact-" Sanji is cut off as Zoro's hand comes to rest over his mouth. "Shut up and listen to me." 

Sanji glares at him through narrowed eyes but doesn't fight against Zoro's hold on him. Zoro continues. "You did as she asked you to. If you weren't such a damn chivalrous moron this would never even have been an issue in the first place. I can't believe it escalated into something this big. Look at us. Whole crew's in fucking shambles. Just because of your sex life. How stupid is that?" 

There's something about the way Zoro had phrased that. Or maybe Sanji is simply becoming hysterical. Either way, he can't fight back a strained laugh escaping him. 

Zoro scoffs. "Yeah. Laugh it up. Idiot. Beatrice told the whole fucking crew that you were an abusive dickhead. That you basically violated her. What the fuck is her problem?" 

Sanji falls silent at that, staring down into the ground. When he speaks he's got himself under control again, speaking quietly. "I don't know, Zoro. I don't know. I've been trying to do everything I can to make her happy. I- I know I'm a horrible person for hitting her and that I should never have done what I did. B-but I'd never- I'd never have done anything she wasn't okay with. I asked for her permission so many times, please, you've got to-" 

Zoro shushes him by cradling him in his arms. "Shuddup. I never doubted you." 

"Never?" 

"Never." 

"What about when-" 

"Never." 

"Okay. I'll shut up." 

"Didn't think you had a brain cell in that huge head of yours." 

"I hate you." 

Notes:

Notes: Zoro only got frozen because of Sanji's reduced fighting strength. If Sanji was at 100% performance, things would have happened like they did in the series. Beatrice's manipulations are starting to take their toll on the Strawhat crew.   Mock summary: Sanji finds out that he has better shipping chemistry with Zoro than with his own girlfriend. He curses the author for saddling him with someone as dysfunctional as Beatrice and wishes to ride off into the sunset with Zoro. Mock summary 2: When all feels broken apart, a certain green-haired swordsman gets up, says "Nothing Happened" and everyone gets to move on. After writing their banter (and it being 4:22 AM) I feel way too unserious to continue on writing angst. Maybe that's why this became more of a wholesome ZoSan bonding time than more BeaSan angst. Oh well. Consider this a filler episode, maybe. Depending on how it'll continue.

Chapter 8: Palate cleanser

Summary:

Contrary to what I said before, I am going to go along with the cannon plot in regards to Water 7. I really like the arc and I can already see plenty of opportunities to weave in distaster and drama. Yay! Plus, I'll take any excuse to rewatch One Piece ^-^

"Look! That frog is doing the front crawl!" 

"Are you kidding?! Frogs don't do front crawls!"

"Well then look for yourself!" 

Beatrice yawns as she hears the commotion from the crew. She's currently resting on a sofa, legs put up on a stool in front of her, Sanji massaging her feet. 

It's a good look on him. Some men really were made to serve. Although she must admit that this one is almost boringly subservient. Never even fights back. 

It's a good thing, but she is starting to get a little bored with him. Maybe she should flirt with Zoro a little. Stir up some drama between those two. She's noticed how close Sanji and Zoro have been lately again and she does not like it one bit. After all the work she had put in to separate Sanji from the rest of the crew and the stupid swordsman comes in and ruins all of her efforts. Such a nuisance. 

Now that is one man who is no good to her at all. Shame that he's so strong. She'd love to dispose of him one way or another. 

He's been talking with Robin so much more lately, and he's been giving Beatrice dirty looks. He's probably plotting something. Best keep your enemies close, she ought to find out what it is he's planning. He doesn't appear particularly smart, how hard could it possibly be? That man can't even follow a straight road. 

Sanji smiles up at her softly and asks. "Would you like to see what-" 

But he's abruptly cut off as the entire ship shakes. It appears they've run into something. 

"What the hell?" Sanji frowns and wants to get up, but Beatrice calls him back. "Sanji. They can deal with it on their own. Stay." 

At least he's obedient. His one benefit, boring as he may be. "Okay, mon ange. As you wish." 

"Hard to starboard! We're gonna crash! Oh god!", Nami's panicked voice can be heard from above. 

Sanji shudders. It's so hard for him to ignore Nami's calls, but Beatrice ordered him to stay so stay he must. Else he'll lose Bea's affections again. He can't risk that. 

Loud noises can be heard from outside. If that wasn't just absolutely ridiculous Sanji would assume what he's hearing is a train. But they're out on sea, how could there possibly be a train? 

More panicked screaming can be heard from above as Nami orders around the crew to avoid the certain crash with what does decidedly sound like a train. 

The entire ship is thrown around as they can feel it plummet into the waves. Bea nearly falls off of the sofa, but Sanji manages to catch her in his arms just in time. 

He's very happy with himself for getting to save her, grinning stupidly as he loses himself in another fantasy of being her knight in shining armor, when Bea snaps him out of it. 

"Hey. Go check what's up." 

Sanji sighs, sad to have his romantic moment interrupted so soon, but he lets go of Bea after giving her cheek a small, affectionate kiss, as he heads out on deck to check what's up. 

He returns not long after, letting Beatrice know about Granny Kokoro and Luffy's plans to hire a shipwright in Water 7. 

Beatrice nods. "An island full of shipwrights, huh? Well that's good. I doubt that there are many female shipwrights. At least you'll be loyal to me for once." 

Sanji flinches as if struck. "Mon ange. I'm always loyal to you." 

Beatrice rolls her eyes and fixes him with a glare. "Are you, now? You were awfully cozy with Zoro the other day." 

Sanji's jaw goes slack and his cigarette falls out of his mouth. "W-with Zoro? Awfully cozy? What are you trying to say, darling?" 

Beatrice narrows her eyes at him. "That you're a little close for comfort with the swordsman. What's up with that?" 

Sanji splutters, turning slightly red as he defends himself. "Nonsense, chérie. I don't swing that way. Besides, you're the only one I love. Why would I want the shitty swordsman of all people when I have you?" 

Beatrice gives him another glare before leaning back on the sofa. "You tell me. I'd prefer if you didn't get so cozy with him all the time. One could think the two of you were in love." 

Sanji's frown deepens and so does his blush. "That's nonsense, darling. You're seeing things." 

Luffy, Nami and Usopp head out to go trade in the gold from Skypeia as Beatrice, Sanji, Zoro, Robin and Chopper stay behind. 

Robin lets everybody know about some of the island's specialities, like the fact that plenty of Water 7 can only be accessed through water canals and that the inhabitants use small boats pulled by animals to get around. 

Sanji's immediately twirling around happily. "Oh! We could have a romantic little getaway, just the two of us, Rob- Beatrice, sweet!" His initial course of twirling had been towards Robin but he catches himself just in time and swerves back around towards Beatrice. 

Beatrice is thankfully too busy glaring at Zoro to pay him much mind. "Sounds like a place that's easy to get lost in." 

Zoro huffs and fires back at her. "Yeah? Make sure you don't get lost then. I'd be happy to leave you behind." 

Sanji stops his twirling, looking between the two of them in horror. Things are never usually this hostile amongst the crew. In fact Zoro has always been the one looking out for everyone and making sure they get along, but now he's the one antagonizing Beatrice. 

Chopper is silent, looking uncomfortable with the hostility present, and Robin just views the scene silently. 

Beatrice scoffs. "Some first mate you are. Do you want us all to jump ship?" 

Zoro's glare is unwavering. "Nah. Just you." 

Sanji clears his throat awkwardly. "I-I'm sure marimo doesn't mean it like that, mon ange." 

Zoro scoffs at that. "Damn right I mean it like that. I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, Bea." 

Beatrice snarls, drawing her lips back like a feral animal. "Yeah? And what is it you're doing? Trying to abuse your higher position to turn everybody against me. You just have something against me personally so you try and manipulate everyone on the crew to your favor. Don't think I don't know what you're doing." 

Sanji tries to intervene. "Please, both of you, calm down. I'm sure that if we just settle down and think this over we can work this out in some way. Okay? Set aside our differences. We're part of this crew, no matter if we all like each other or not." 

Sanji gives a pointed glance to Zoro who just shrugs and crosses his arms as he replies. "Not all of the members of this crew seem to be focused on the well-being of the others here, though." 

Beatrice bares her teeth in what barely qualifies as a smile. "Says the person who only cares about playing with swords and napping all day." 

Sanji sighs. "Chérie, please. Let's not fight each other, okay? I'll make you a nice lovely cocktail and grab a lounger for you. The weather's lovely today, isn't it?" 

It's a weak attempt to distract everybody, but he hopes that it'll work. 

Zoro seems to have had enough of the discussion as he just scoffs and heads off (presumably to take yet another nap.) 

Chopper quickly excuses himself to prepare some medicine in his office as Robin heads off to drink some coffee as well. 

Beatrice turns to Sanji. "He's impossible, isn't he? Making me feel so unwelcome here. I already feel like I don't belong with how I'm the newest crew member." She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, looking up at Sanji helplessly. 

He could absolutely melt when she looks all innocent and cute like that, so he nods, eager to please her. "Yes, sweetheart. I'm so sorry he said those mean things to you. You don't deserve that at all. Would you like me to have a word with him?" 

Beatrice shakes her head. "No. He'll continue to hate me no matter what. I just know he will. There's no use." Her bottom lip is actually quivering now. Sanji can feel himself getting a little weak in the knees. 

"Oh, mon amour. I'm so sorry. He's such a brute, you don't deserve to be treated like that at all." 

Beatrice nods in affirmation. "Honestly, Zoro reminds me a lot of my abusive ex. They're very similar in a lot of ways." 

Sanji's eyes widen in shock. "Z-Zoro... reminds you of your ex?" 

Sanji's mind starts spinning. So her ex must have been somebody Beatrice was attracted to once upon a time. If Zoro is like the ex, then is he also somebody that Beatrice finds herself attracted to? Surely she wouldn't prefer the shitty swordsman over him though. Right? There's no way. No woman could possibly love a ball of moss that only rarely bathes more than once a week. 

Beatrice nods solemnly. "A little, yeah. They both have these little habits, you know? Because of that, I don't feel safe around Zoro. To hear him say those awful things about me as well... it just makes everything so much worse." 

Sanji nods, eager to please and agree with her. "I get it. I really should have a word with him, then." 

Bea shakes her head again. "No, like I said, forget about it. There's no use."

Now it's Sanji's turn to pout. "But I need to make you feel happy and welcome on the ship. How am I supposed to do that when you feel so unsafe around Zoro?" 

Beatrice lets out a long suffering sigh. "Well. There's only one thing I could think of. But I'm asking for too much really." 

Sanji perks up eagerly. "Anything, my love. I'll do anything you ask of me." 

Beatrice bats her eyelashes up at him. "If you spent less time with him, I'd cross paths with Zoro less, of course. Then he wouldn't get to be mean to me as much." 

Sanji gulps, his throat suddenly dry. "Y-you mean it's my fault for hanging out with Zoro? That he'd leave you alone if I didn't hang out with him so much?"  

"Exactly. But of course I can't ask something like that of you. He's your best friend, after all." Beatrice's coy expression is tugging at Sanji's heartstrings. 

"No, no, that's okay. He's just a shitty swordsman, we're not that close anyways." 

Beatrice's eyes widen in faux shock. "Really? I always thought you were close. With how much time you spend together." 

Sanji forces a smile and shakes his head. "Nah, we just want to bash each other's heads in most of the time. No wonder we argue so much, right? Hah." 

Beatrice hums in contentment. "That's great to hear. Then spending less time around him won't affect you at all. I'm glad, Sanji. I wouldn't want to be a burden on you or those you consider friends. But if you don't care for Zoro anyways then this won't even be an issue to begin wtih." 

Sanji feels like he's skating on ice for the first time. Everything feels far too slippery right now and he's unsure of how to regain his balance of managing his relations with the crew while also pleasing Beatrice at the same time. "Of course you're not a burden, sweetheart. You could never be a burden. You come first. Always." 

I'll keep updating the fic on here once I keep writing, but AO3 is a lot more reliable in terms of actually getting updates first!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58304974/chapters/158023099#workskin

Monday, May 29th, 2023

3:29pm

Here’s the texts of when I texted my older sister, 5 months after everything that happened while I was in New York City with her.

Here’s what I said to her:

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Things they never mention when you cut off someone as a middle schooler:

Sometimes, it can take years to realize how bad things were.

You start out thinking that you just didn't click. Then you begin thinking of it as toxic. Then you start realizing it was manipulative. Then after 3 years, you can finally see it for what it was. You were being abused. It was an abusive relationship.

But you can't go around and say that. After all, you were both 13 and you didn't even date or anything. You were just friends. And sure he was bad to you, but didn't you mess up a bit too?

People tend to make their assumptions and tune out the rest of the story once you bring up that it was in seventh grade.

Meanwhile every time you have to see him in class, you die inside a little more. He makes eye contact with you once and you're in a state of panic for the rest of the week. You're scared that one day he's going to try and do something else- get revenge on you for rebelling against his control and refusing to be his little puppy anymore.

You walk the halls in terror. He could be anywhere, any time, ready to get back at you. He's tested the waters and learned how badly you fear him. He seems to take joy in that.

All your friends swear they would protect you, but you know they wouldn't be able to intervene quick enough to avoid any damage being done- mental or physical. You know that he's still stronger and more set in his views. He wouldn't lose any fight against you, it doesn't matter if he chooses words or fists.

You live in fear. Some don't believe you, others don't fully understand. Some swear to protect you, others seem to think you would deserve it. But no matter what, the only thing you know for sure is that if something happens, you are completely, and utterly, fucked.

if one (1) more cishet man looks me in the eyes and lies to my face to manipulate me into liking him i’m gonna lose my mother-freakin’ marbles.

I love this so much! Especially because Nico's horrible decision reminds me of his dad's own unhinged behavior when it comes to how to handle romance.

I can't help but imagine Nico asking Hades for romance advice and Hades just says to kidnap him haha. It works every time.

So here is an idea with a slightly dark Percico, during the time where Percy has amnesia, rather than deny knowing him, Nico in a moment of weakness says that they are dating that he missed him so much. Percy goes along with it, seeing no reason not to trust Nico and something about him being his boyfriend just feeling right. Eventually they reunite with Annebeth who is pissed at Nico for lying but can’t convince Percy that he is, making Nico into even more of an outcast, only for Percy to reveal that has already gotten his memories back long ago and now that Nico has lost most of his friends Percy has him all to him. Now they can be messed up possessive people together

Nico couldn't take it anymore.

The glares, the disappointment, everybody looked at him like he was a monster, and not even for the reasons they usually did.

If it was about being a son of Hades, Nico would at least feel outraged, like he didn't deserve what was happening to him, but this time it was different, this time he deserved the scorn of those around him.

"What's wrong, babe?" Percy asked, concerned. Nico bit his lip.

It had been a moment of weakness. Percy had just said he was important to his nonexistent past, and Nico had just said 'Well, as your boyfriend I sure hope so!' He had planned to dismiss it as a joke soon after, but Percy had just nodded like it made all the sense in the world and kissed him as an apology.

Nico hadn't been able to come clean after that.

"Percy, we need to talk," Nico said softly.

"Is Annabeth giving you trouble again?" he put his arm around him protectively. Nico saw a dark shadow fall over his eyes. "She really needs to stop that. Like I'd ever go for her when I have you."

Yes, things had only gotten worse once Annabeth had landed on New Rome. Nico had been sweating bullets. Surely seeing the actual love of his life would return Percy's memories. Then Percy would hate him for lying and taking advantage... again.

Yet what happened was even worse. Percy had rejected Annabeth, saying that he knew they were friends, but that he had rejected her to be with Nico. Percy weaved a story from the half-truths Nico told him and his own imagination, but the way he had talked made it sound as if Nico himself had been feeding him all those stories.

Annabeth had tried to claw his eyes out, and had only been stopped by Percy. The daughter of Athena had demanded him to break whatever spell he had put on Percy, but her boyfriend had refused to believe her.

"She has calmed down a lot," Nico lied. After Percy had remained 'loyal' to him, Annabeth had tried to prove their relationship with pictures and witnesses, and everyone had believed her, even his sister... everyone except for Percy. "It's about um... us."

Nico was now not only the untrustworthy son of Hades, he was also a homewrecker, an oportunist who had bewitched an amnesiac man into forgetting his girlfriend out of sefishness.

Everyone had turned their back on him, except for Percy, who kept kissing him and complimenting him like nothing was wrong.

"Did I do something wrong?" Percy's voice had a tint of worry as he looked around. "Was I too clingy? Or too clueless?"

Yes, Percy had been, but that was not the problem. If anything, Nico felt guilty over how much he enjoyed Percy's affections.

"No, it's not—"

"Is there someone else, then?" Percy's gaze turned possessive, even darker. At that moment, he was reminded of Poseidon being the god of storms and earthquakes. "Don't think I don't notice."

"N-notice what?" Nico couldn't help but stutter. When angry, Percy was almost a force of nature himself.

"Jason Grace and Leo Valdez, they look at you sometimes," Percy said dangerously. "Everyone should know that you are mine."

Nico blinked. No. There was no way that Percy was that oblivious.

"They look at me with nothing but disgust!" he finally exclaimed. "And they're right to do so!"

Percy's face softened as he turned to hug Nico properly, combing his fingers through his hair.

"Nico, there's nothing wrong with you... with us," he said. Nico wanted to scream in frustration. "If they can't accept us, we're better off without them."

"It's not about acceptance!" Nico sobbed. "Annabeth was telling the truth. You are her boyfriend, not mine!"

"Nico, you don't—"

"I lied Percy!" Nico screamed into his shirt. "That kiss you gave me on Camp Jupiter was our first. You've never seen me as anything but a friend or a traitor. I took advantage of you!"

He just wanted it to stop. To at least mend the relationship with his sister, even if everyone else, including Percy, hated him.

The son of Poseidon just hugged him tighter.

"Oh, Nico," he said, sounding disappointed. Nico braced himself. "I already knew."

Nico's eyes widened, he tried to pull away, but Percy just held on tighter.

"What?"

"My memories came back during my quest with Hazel and Frank," Percy explained. He caressed the top of his head. "I have known you lied since before Annabeth came back."

"But then why—?"

"Honestly, it was pretty hilarious to see her all mad," Percy laughed. "I almost cracked then and there, but I needed to keep at it, until everyone took her side, at least."

Nico shivered. It had all been Percy's ellaborate plan. To alienate Nico from everyone who could be on his side. To make him even more of an outcast. All to get back at Nico for lying about their relationship.

He didn't know the son of Poseidon could be that machiavellian.

"I guess I deserved it," Nico whispered. "I'm really sorry, Percy."

"Sorry for what?" Percy asked. He seemed honestly confused. "You know what I remembered when I got my memories back? How devoted you are, how many times you have saved me, how much you're willing to do for me. How utterly perfect you are."

Nico wasn't understanding. What was Percy getting at?

"You even lied to have me for yourself." Percy's voice was filled with amazement. Nico felt the hug tighten once again until it was almost painful. "But I also remembered all the people who could take you away, just as I realized how precious you were to me."

"Percy!" He struggled to get out, but Percy didn't let him.

"People like Connor Stoll and Will Solace, always looking at what's not theirs," he continued, almost snarling. "I knew if I wanted to keep you, I needed to make sure they wouldn't look at you twice."

Nico's heart was hammering in his chest. The worst part is, he wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement.

"You did all this... so I'll stay?"

"I remember Nico, you have a knack for just leaving," there was a reproach in Percy's voice. "But that's in the past. Because now you know how much I love you."

Yeah, and now there was nowhere else that would take Nico in.

"It hurts, being hated by everyone," he admitted quietly. Percy's hug became slack.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Percy at least sounded sincere. "I know I made it worse but... I couldn't lose you."

And it was like something switched inside Nico's brain. Like everything made sense now. He had always been an outcast anyway.

But now he had Percy.

"You'd never lose me, Percy," he said, giving him a kiss. "Because I'm as yours as you are mine."

And Percy smiled like Nico had just told him the moon really was made of blue candy.

"I'm glad we both think the same way."

Nico nodded and kissed Percy again.

The whole world could hate him for all he cared. Percy was his, and it was more than worth it.

Birds of a Feather

By: fairystar111

Rating: Gen

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

Summary:

Life isn't fair to those who don't take what they want   The sooner you take what is yours the happier you'll be   Now that Hawks finally has a family to call his own he won't ever let them go...

Characters: Hawks | Keigo Takami, Tokoyami Fumikage, Dabi | Touya Todoroki, Shouto Todoroki.

CW/Tags: Kidnapping, Parental Takami Keigo, Yandere, Stockholm Syndrome, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Stalking, Infantilism, Parental Yandere, Yandere Hawks, Animalistic Behavior, Animal Instincts, Forced Bonding, DabixHawks, Winged Tokoyami Fumikage.

Start/Previous/Next

If there was one thing Takami Keigo knew for a fact it was that his life did not matter in the grand scheme of things. His wants and needs would never matter to anyone. Before he was sold to the commission his mother neglected him, leaving him to starve and struggle to survive by himself; while turning a blind eye to his father abusing him. They never cared about him living or dying; they didn't even bother to ask the commission what he they wanted him for when they sold him. The commission trained him to be the perfect heroic puppet in daylight and a trained assassin by night. They beat him and tortured him to prepare him for the harsh battles he would fight when he was older. None of them cared that a six year old couldn’t consent, only increasing his punishments when he would resist the training. They tried to train all his bird characteristics out of him, calling them unsightly and abnormal. They shaved his talons and fangs down into bleeding little nubs, plucked his tail feathers, and punished him whenever he would release any bird-like sounds. For years he was convinced everyone would hate him if he let any of these traits show. 

He was just a cog in the machine; he would live his life running for other people until he finally broke and was replaced. It was a simple fact that he knew would always be true. That was until he was given the order to infiltrate the League of Villains. Then he met Dabi and he taught him how to be loved and appreciated in a way he had never known before. He taught him what had happened to him was wrong and that he doesn’t have to take the abuse any longer now that he was here for him. The league treats him like family; they are the only people in his life that ever truly cared about him. It really hurt that a government sanctioned commission could treat him so badly that villains were what he looked forward to seeing everyday.

He was conflicted about whether staying a hero was really worth it for a long time. Until he met his baby bird Tokoyami Fumikage. The then intern was just supposed to be a routine apprentice he took on for three weeks and would never have to see again. But unlike with his previous interns Hawks found himself absolutely infatuated with Tokoyami and his quirk Dark Shadow. He’s not sure if it's because of the avian nature of their quirks or how well they got along but at the end of the three weeks Hawks did not want to let Tokoyami go. The kid reminded him of a cuter version of Dabi. He had a sarcastic and serious personality but would often laugh and indulge Kiego in his games. The boy's little shadow was quite happy and funny to be around too, often blurting out things the other was thinking, but it was fiercely protective of its user and once even snapped at Hawks for simply trying to hug Fumikage when saying goodbye.

For weeks after the internship Keigo’s mind could not stop drifting away to think about Tokoyami. Would Tokoyami like this drink? That looks like a sweater Tokoyami would like? Does Tokoyami have a nest? Would he like this blanket for it? So much that it was distracting him on his partols, he got a particularly harsh punishment for it by his handlers. But he couldn't help it, his bird brain had latched on to Tokoyami as his chick and it was not letting him forget. Everytime he had to do something his mind would always lead back to his chick. Is he eating enough? Has he been preening his feathers correctly? Is there anyone there to keep him warm? Does he have anyone to play with? Is he happy?

Since Hawks couldn't stay focused he decided it would be okay to visit Tokoyami every once in a while… without telling him. It started off small, just him following the chick to school in the morning and then watching him walk back to his house. He had to watch out for his little chick since clearly no one was there to protect him! Then it transitioned to looking through his windows, planting feathers in his room to listen in, sneaking into his attic, coming through his window at night and watching him sleep.

What he realized while watching his chick was that his parents did not love him as much as he could. It's probably because he is so different from them. Neither parent had any avian quirks in their family histories when he researched their geneology. Tokoyami was a completely random mutation they were not expecting. They take care of him, give him basic necessities and don't abuse him but they don’t love him. They weren't even feeding him the correct diet for a hatchling for christ's sake. There were no hugs, no kisses, no affection whatsoever which isn't a crime but Keigo could do so much better than them. There was no way for him to get Tokoyami out of there legally because there was technically no abuse being committed. If anything he was technically committing a crime by watching a minor. He’s not stalking okay! He's just protecting his fledgling rightfully so. But if word ever got out about this his career would be destroyed.

He was comfortable with the routine just silently watching over his chick from the shadows. Until the commission informed him that they were looking into Tokoyami for the paragon program he had been raised in. They wanted to make him into a full time assassin. They thought his quirk would be great for taking out large numbers of people quickly. But unlike him Tokoyami would not be doing any daytime hero work since he has more physical mutations. The commission could never want someone like him in the limelight representing them. It took everything in Hawks that day not to murder the commission president for daring to even consider using his Tokoyami as an assassin. He knew his chick’s parents wouldn’t fight for him if the commission came knocking. He had to find a way to take his chick for himself once and for all.

So he confessed his sins to the league. He told them everything from how he grew up to how he was bought and raised by the commission. He told them about the infiltration mission and how he had come to love the little family they had despite the spying. And lastly he told them about his chick and the commission wanting to steal him and put him in the same program he was raised in. They were understandably angry at first, except Dabi, he knew the whole time, but they understood his situation and they would help him take down the commission and get his chick back.

He fought alongside the league to bring down hero society and won. Together they tore down the commission. He helped his mate kill Endeavor and give his family peace. It was finally over but… the little bird he was fighting for flew away. During the chaos of the war his chick had fled to god knows where with the rest of his class leaving him behind. His chick left him… Keigo did everything for him and he just left to hide away in some desolate hideout with some pest who could never treat him as well as he does. When he finds him he is going to smother him and love him so much he won't remember the life he had before Keigo. Tokoyami will be begging for him to never leave again once he is through with him…

Dark Shadow knew that while he was his beloved Fumi’s quirk he was also an entirely separate entity from his brother. He could feel what was going through Fumi’s head but Fumi could not do the same for him. He is his brother's built-in protector; he’s been caring for Fumi since he emerged as his quirk when no one else would. He could detect the danger Fumi couldn't feel and respond before he got hurt. So that is why he is so uneasy around Hawks. Their mentor always acted outwardly kind and warm to them but Dark Shadow could sense danger radiating off the man. This man could not be trusted around his Fumi. There was something very off about Hawks that Fumi couldn't sense like he could.

The entire internship he could not rest easily and he refused to retreat back into his brother when Hawks was around. It didn't feel safe to leave Fumi alone with that man. It all came to a head when the final day of their internship Hawks tried to hug Fumi and Dark Shadow lashed out beak piercing through the skin of the man's hand. Fumi had gotten really angry with him for that but he couldn't help it. That day the aura surrounding Hawks was suffocating, like a predator stalking their prey waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. From then on Fumi would not believe him when he said he felt Hawk’s presence. Fumi would argue that Hawks was so busy in Fukuoka that he would never have the time to come visit them. He would tell him to stop acting crazy but Dark Shadow knew that something was very very wrong, but Fumi just wouldn’t listen. 

Darks Shadow’s concerns had come to fruition when they turned on the television one day and saw a video released by Dabi detailing his life of abuse he endured as the son of Endeavour. The video ending only for a news broadcast to begin showing Hawks fighting alongside Dabi of the League of Villains, the duo successfully killing the number two pro hero. Shortly after Hawks released his own video detailing the abuse he went through during his time in the paragon program. He talked about how he was bought by the commission and was forced to sign a contract at six that meant he would work for them for the rest of his life. He announced that he was done being a hero and he was going to bring down all of those who've wronged him.

Dark Shadow had been correct but now it's too late for them…

As Tokoyami awoke his eyes wandered groggily, taking in the room he was in. The space was huge with enormous windows and tall ceilings. There were large perches made to look like branches high on the wall for birds to rest on and large divots in the wall near the ceiling for hiding. The ceiling looked tall enough for someone to fly in there. He was at the bottom of a large nest with tall sturdy but soft walls surrounding him. The nest was decorated with many soft pillows and fluffy blankets, it was making his avian instincts very happy. He was distracted cooing in the nest happily; it wasn't until he tried to call out to Dark Shadow that the happy haze taking over his mind shattered. He couldn’t feel dark shadow anymore. Why couldn’t he feel him? Then it all came rushing back to him. Hawks had kidnapped him. The mentor he trusted and cared for had betrayed him and took away his brother. Tokoyami was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the distress chirping he was releasing. The boy doesn’t know it but the distress chirp he was releasing is one used by fledglings to call for their parents.

He was startled out of his cries when something large swooped down from one of the upper levels of the room. The boy hadn’t realized there had been someone else in the room the entire time. Tokoyami’s feathers ruffled and his wing flared in response when he realized it was Hawks. Hawks eyes widened at the blatant disrespect Fumikage was showing the older avian. Flaring one's wings is an act of dominance in avians and his chick is clearly not the one in charge here. He knows it's not the chicks fault he doesn’t know much about his avian instincts but Hawks will not tolerate the fledglings insolent behavior. He is going to make Tokoyami understand that he is the flock leader and that he must obey him as his fledgling. Hawks opened his much larger wings, flaring them wide and began to stalk towards the boy while releasing ear-piercing screeches and warning growls. 

“W-wait wait Hawks please stop!” Tokoyami whimpered, the little wings on his back quivering. He didn’t know what he did to get the other man so angry but this is terrifying. He had never seen the other man act even remotely close to this, he was truly acting like an animal.

Hawks did not respond to the boy, advancing further into the nest. The boy was too small to escape the large nest, he could only try to crawl backward away from the angry avian. The boy released a terrified chirp when the man pounced on him screeching close to his face, the boy followed his base instincts, folding back his wings, bowing, and exposing his neck in submission, releasing more terrified chirps. The man loomed over the boy before sinking his fangs into the soft skin of the chick's neck. Hawks was asserting his dominance over Tokoyami and claiming the orphaned fledgling as his own. Tokoyami cooed softly as an foreign feeling overtook his mind and body. Suddenly it was like his mind couldn't register why he had been so afraid of Hawks anymore. His body wouldn't listen to him to get away from the man, his body and mind now think that Hawks is his father.

“Aw baby bird look at you~” Hawks cooed looking down at the boy in his lap, his claim had worked Fumi was docile and cooing back contently in his hold. Tokoyami was now imprinted onto him; the boy won’t be able to fight back even if he wanted to.

“Fumikage, look at me please.” Hawks asked gently cupping the distracted little chick’s cheek and guiding his eyes toward him.

“I'm your papa now. Things are going to be different now that I'm taking care of you. Your old parents, if you can even call them that, didn't love you the way I do. They didn’t treat you like the precious little boy you are so I'm taking over now. You know that this is for your own good right baby? Say yes papa if you understand.” Hawks asked, coaxing the boy out of his hatchling daze.

“Yes papa,” Tokoyami warbled out, his mind still hazy. He was sure whatever his papa was saying was true. Fathers always know what is best for their hatchlings.

“Can you turn around and lay on my lap baby? Papa wants to explain your new rules while preening those cute little wings of yours.” Hawks asked, chirping happily. His chick finally recognized him as his true father!

“Okay papa,” Tokoyami chirps, flipping onto his back obediently.

“Good boy,” The man trilled, he had been waiting far too long to preen his fledgling’s wings. He gently smoothed out the downy feathers, coating them evenly even in oil and picking out old broken feathers from past molts. The chick was reduced to a purring puddle on his lap, the poor never boy had anyone to help him with his wings.

“Now that I am taking care of you, you are going to have to listen to everything I say. Some things won’t make sense to you at first because you were never raised with other avians but you have to trust your papa okay. I know what's best for you and I would never hurt you, you just have to listen.” Keigo's cooed, fingers coaxing more oil out of the little gland at the base of Fumi’s wings rubbing it through the soft downy feathers, receiving more content purring from the boy in his lap.

“Okay papa… but what about Dark Shadow?” The boy asked through happy purrs. While his mind was easily replacing his distant parents, his heart would not forget his brother who cared for him more than anyone else has his entire life. Dark Shadow may be just a quirk but to Tokoyami he was his only real family for a long time. Which is pretty sad if you think about it.

“Dark Shadow will have to go away for a little bit because he is a danger to papa right now. In a couple of months once you get used to life with me then we can try to let him roam free but that won’t be for a long time.” Keigo tried to explain gently not trying to upset the chick but that clearly didn't work judging by the heartbreaking cries he was making.

“Shh shh you don’t have to cry baby, I promise you won’t be alone. You'll have your papa here with you at all times and then later once you've proven yourself trustworthy you’ll meet my mate and your new brother and be able to play all around the manor and attend school with your friends. Things will get better, it will just take some time to get used to, okay?” Keigo cooed, he was so excited to meet Shouto and have him and Fumi stay in his nest but that won’t be until later. His and his mates' nestlings both need a bit more training before that can happen. The boy just chirped in agreement, getting sleepy from the treatment his wings were receiving.

“Come on baby, let's take a nap.” The man whispered, laying back and curling around the boy enjoying the skin to skin contact and chirping contently. He finally has his chick safe and happy in his arms.

The next couple of months were bliss for Keigo, he had got what he had always wanted. His fledgling was finally under his control. At first it was hard for the boy to get adjusted to his mind running on instincts he’d never used before but he quickly got used to it with Keigo there to guide him. The boy was hesitant when it came to his new diet, eating raw meats was not something he had ever done before. He had refused to at first but after a stern nip from Keigo the chick accepted the raw food. Now the baby bird will even hunt down little birds in the garden for fun before eating them. The fledgling acted like they were attached by the hip wherever Keigo goes Tokoyami would follow, releasing quivering sullen chirps when he couldn’t. Keigo always had such a smug expression when he would watch the fledgling cry out for him. Just a couple of months ago, his boy wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. Now here he was absolutely crushed when Keigo had to leave, as all nestlings should be. 

Tokoyami was ready, his chick has not tried to escape even once in the time he has been here. Keigo wants him to meet the rest of his family but first, he needs to have a serious conversation with his chosen mate. His hands trembled as his thumb hovered over the call button before finally pressing down. The phone rang a few times before his mate picked up. 

“Hey pretty bird, what's up?” Dabi’s soothing voice rang out through the phone.

“Can you come up here for a bit? I need to talk to you alone.” Hawks uttered nervously.

“Yeah I’ll be there soon. Is everything alright?” Dabi asked, concerned with the other man's behavior.

“I’m fine, we just need to talk.” Hawks answered, ending the call abruptly. He knows Dabi loves him the way he is but still asking him to indulge in his more avian habits always makes him so nervous. The league has always been kind and never shown any disgust towards his more bird traits but he has never asked them to take part in any of them so he’s anxious about how Dabi will react.

The few minutes it took Dabi to come up to their floor felt like hours to Keigo. He wasn’t sure how his mate was going to react to what he wanted to do. The elevator ding rang out into the apartment as the door opened revealing his concerned looking mate.

“What wrong Kei? You sounded upset over the phone.” Dabi asked, he hoped the other man wasn’t trying to break up with him. Keigo belongs to him, they are solemates there is no leaving their relationship. They were made for each other, Dabi could never let his little bird go.

“It’s just that Tokoyami has been doing really well and I want you and Shouto to meet him today but…” Keigo's voice tapered off as he moved his eyes to look anywhere but Dabi.

“But what?” Dabi asked, tipping Kiego’s jaw upward and guiding his eyes toward him.

“You promise you won't get mad?” Keigo asked, golden eyes looking up at him through thick blond lashes.

“I could never be angry at my pretty bird,” Dabi said, soothing Keigo’s frazzled nerves.

“It's just I don’t know how to have a normal relationship. Red tailed hawks only have one mate for their entire lives and you are my chosen mate. And as my mate your kin become my kin as well. So I was wondering if when you guys come over to meet the fledgling can I put my claim on Shouto and can you put your claim on Fumikage? I want them to be mine just as much as they are yours but I don't know if you're okay with that.” He already thought of Shouto as his own but he wants to make it official.

“What kind of claim? How do I do it?” Dabi asked, relieved his little bird didn't want to leave him. He was quite pleased to know that his feelings were reciprocated just as strongly. 

“Oh it's just some bird stuff. If I claim Shouto as my son in front of Fumikage then the chick will instantly understand that they are now brothers and nestmates but for Shouto it will just be a quick little bite. Then you just need to bite Fumi’s neck and the chick will imprint on you as a parent as well. I understand if you don't want to deal with all this bird stuff. It's okay really a lot of people don't really like this kind of thing- ” Keigo’s frantic ranting was cut off by Dabi cupping his jaw and kissing him, effectively shutting him up.

“Keigo, I would never dismiss any of this kind of stuff. I know how important it is to you. You said you're in it for life well so am I, I want all of you. You don’t ever have to be afraid of telling me something like this. I am never leaving you, I accept all of you always.” Dabi crooned looking deeply into the teary golden eyes of his mate. He wishes he could burn down the commission all over again for making Kiego think all his avian instincts were unsightly and disgusting, his poor bird still can't shake their harsh words to this day despite Dabi telling him the HPSC was wrong and he loves him the way he is. 

“You really don’t mind?” Keigo asked, sniffling and wiping his teary eyes.

“I promise, I don't mind at all. I can get Shouto right now if you want. Shouto is so sweet he won't mind any of this at all once I explain it to him plus it would be good for him to have another father figure in his life. Lately he’s been staring longingly at Twice and Toga whenever they're around.” Dabi explained, his little brother clearly wants a father in his life and Dabi wished he could be that for Shouto but currently the boy only thinks of him as his big brother. Maybe once he and Keigo move in together and he sees how they interact both boys will come to see them as their fathers.

“You’re such a good mate.” Keigo swooned looking at Dabi through half lidded eyes. Keigo was irrevocably in love with this man who changed his entire world as soon as he entered it. He wishes he could find a way to repay Dabi in some way for all he has done for him. Well… he has some ideas but that will be saved until later after the kids are asleep.

“Glad you think so.” Dabi winked with a smirk, walking towards the elevator to retrieve his younger brother. As he rode the elevator down to his floor he thought about Shouto. He hopes he’ll be happy with this new arrangement, his brother has been missing the rest of their family so the addition of a new brother will be good for him. When the doors opened he strode towards Shou’s room opening the door only to find him napping contently while Bluey played quietly on the tv. The floor was scattered with toys, clearly he had been playing for a while before he fell asleep. Dabi didn't want to wake the sleeping cherub but he promised Kei he would be up there soon. Well maybe he can nap with the fledgling in their nest if he’s still tired. He’s sure Keigo would be happy to have both their chicks in the nest. He quietly approached the sleeping boy gently shaking him only receiving whines and grumbles in response.

“Firefly, it's time to wake up.” Dabi cooed down at his sleeping brother, shaking him a little harder when the boy would not respond.

“Nooo you said today was a lazy day. Leave me alone.” Shouto whined lifting up his blanket to cover his head. There was no school today and he wasn't planning on going anywhere, he just wanted to play in his room.

“Well plans change, come on firefly. I have someone very special to me that I want you to meet.” The man spoke quietly trying to rouse the grumpy child from his blanket den.

“But I already met everyone. Don't wanna go.” Shouto pouted from underneath his blankets.

“But Keigo will be sooo sad that you're not with me.” Touya cooed in a teasing tone.

“Were going to see Kei?” Shouto perked up rising out of his blanket den to meet his brother's eyes. It's not a secret that Keigo is one of Shouto’s most favorite people in the manor.

“Yes but I haven’t been completely honest with you. Do you remember how I described the relationship between everyone in the league?” Dabi asked most of what he had told Shouto had been true; he just left out the fact that he and Keigo were together…in a very un-platonic way…

“You said that you were all family. That Giri-san and Sako-san were the papas and everyone else were like siblings.” Shouto said in a very matter of fact tone. He didn’t know what his brother was talking about, Shouto did think Touya treated someone more special than anyone else in the league.

“Well that's mostly true except for Keigo and I aren't like siblings were a couple.” Dabi said hoping that's enough for his brother to understand. He really does not want to have the talk with Shouto today.

“A couple of what?” Shouto asked, confused.

“Okay you're a little confused and that's okay it's not your fault. What I meant was that when two people love each other very much they get into a relationship and love each other even more.” Dabi said, that's a pretty straightforward explanation even Shouto can understand right? 

“So are we a couple?” Nevermind, Dabi groaned internally. 

“NO! Ahem… Sorry I didn't mean to yell what I meant to say is no we are not. Couples are people who are not related to each other who get married and kiss and have kids together. Like in that show you like so much the mommy dog and the daddy dog were strangers at first then they fell in love got married and had babies. Do you get what I'm saying?” Dabi asked, he can’t get any more blunt than that Shouto is clearly still too innocent for that. God, how do you even begin to explain love to an emotionally stunted kid who has never even seen a healthy relationship in his entire life.

“Oh” Is all Shouto said, a shocked expression on his face suddenly over taken by a jealous one.

“Does this mean you're going to have a baby?” He doesn’t want a new baby to take his brother's attention away from him.

“Firefly, you are the baby.” Dabi said, amused by his little brother's jealous pout.

“Anyways I’m bringing this up because since we're together and you're my baby that makes you Keigo’s baby too. Keigo was wondering if you would like him to be your papa. He already sees you as his kid since you're mine and you'd have a new brother to play with.” Dabi explained. It's not like Shou has a choice, it's going to happen either way but he would like his little brother to think his opinion matters.

“A new papa?” Shouto whispered looking at his big brother with stars in his eyes. He has never had a papa before, only a cold and cruel father who did nothing but hurt him. And a new brother! Not that he doesn’t love the siblings he already has but they're all so much older than him, having a brother his own age sounds like so much fun! Who did Hawks take again? 

“Okay, Let's go!” Shouto said excitedly, wiggling impatiently as his brother got him ready for the day. Dabi dressed Shouto in a cute soft set of pajamas with kittens on them, not bothering to dress him in real clothes because he's most likely just going to fall asleep as soon as Hawks is finished with him. He finished brushing the boy's hair and placed him on his hip heading towards the elevator. The farther up the elevator went the more subdued Shouto seemed to get. When the doors opened he hid his face in Dabi’s neck not looking towards the avian approaching them.

“Hi Shouto! Did Touya explain what's happening today?” Keigo cooed trying not to scare the new fledgling.

“Mm hmm” Shouto mumbled into Touya’s neck.

“And you're okay with it?” Keigo asked, watching with adoring eyes as the boy peeked out of Dabi’s neck to slyly nod in confirmation before hiding once again.

“Yeah,” Shouto answered shyly, still hiding.

“Wow, such a good boy. Dabi, follow me.” Hawks exclaimed in an exaggerated tone similar to one used when trying to sooth a young child. He led them toward Tokoyami’s bedroom, opening the door and motioning for Touya to place the boy in the nest with his other chick.

“Tokoyami?” Shouto asked, perplexed, he had forgotten Tokoyami had been one those that had been picked to be part of the family. He wouldn't call him a close friend or anything but they got along well during the period when they were in hiding.

“Todoroki? What are you doing here?” Fumikage asked bewildered, this is the first time he's seen anyone outside of Hawks in months.

“Well remember when I mentioned you meeting my mate once you were a bit more settled into life, well this is him and his child, your new brother” Hawks explained gently wanting the transition to go as smoothly as possible. 

“Dabi, come here.” Keigo motionted for Touya to enter the large nest. He picked up Tokoyami and placed him in the other's lap. The boy shifted uncomfortably sitting in the other villain's lap sending distressed chirps towards Keigo.

“Fumikage behave.” Hawks said sternly, giving him a warning nip as the chick began to struggle in his mates arms. The chick settled down and allowed Dabi to tip his head to the side exposing his neck.

“You're going to need to bite pretty hard for him to get it since you don't have fangs.” Hawks said as he watched his lover sink his teeth into Fumi’s neck watching the chick's eyes glaze over.  

“Look at him Kei” Dabi whispered, looking down at the boy chirping and nuzzling into his shirt, big hazy red eyes staring at him adoringly. Huh he could get used to having two adorable little birds in his life.

“Yeah he’s imprinted pretty hard, now it's Shouto's turn,” Keigo said, watching his mate and his fledgling fondly. Turning to advance towards the frightened looking boy. Tokoyami’s hazy eyes widened as he watched Hawks pounce onto Shouto pinning him down, the boy screamed towards his brother for help.

“W-wait what's happening?! Nii-chan help!” Shouto yelped whimpering when Keigo opened his mouth revealing a set of sharp fangs.

“Calm down firefly it's okay this is just a ritual avians do when welcoming new members into their family. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Dabi cooed from the other side of the nest, watching his lover slowly sink his teeth into the soft flesh of his brother's neck.

Shouto whimpered as he felt sharp fangs painfully sink into his neck, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as possible feeling tears escape them. Then as suddenly as they were there the fangs were gone and there was something soft and wet lapping at the wound. The sensation made him giggle, it tickled. He opened his eyes when he felt himself being pulled off the floor of the nest and being nuzzled by two birds. As scary as that was he was glad he has a new papa and brother even though his papa is kind of scary. 

Tokoyami felt that fuzzy feeling taking over his mind as he was claimed by Dabi and watched Keigo claim Todoroki as his fledgling and his mate as their father. Suddenly he could no longer see just a distant classmate, this boy was his nestmate and the other villain is also their parent. And his brother is in distress! Fumi quickly crawled out of Dabi’s lap and to the other boy's side nuzzling him and releasing soothing coos trying to make his little brother feel better. He calmed down a little once his brother started giggling from their father tending to his wound. He screeched as he pushed their papa out of the way and curled his body around his brother. Papa was the reason his brother had been in so much distress, he watched him with narrowed eyes releasing warning growls when he would get too close to his brother. While snuggling this close Fumikage could hear his brother tummy rumbling, he released demanding hungry cheeps toward their papas to get him food for his little brother. 

“Alright alright I'm sorry. If I go get you the food will you forgive your big bad papa?” Keigo asked, raising his arms up in the air with an amused smile on his face. Well Fumikage definitely sees Shouto as his little brother now. 

“What’s he saying?” Dabi asked not fluent in bird talk.

“He's angry I made Shouto upset and wants me to go get them a snack. Come on, let's go fix them up something for lunch.” Hawks explained laughing when he heard Dabi snort as he followed him to the kitchen. Fumikage is clearly attached to Shouto now; it's fine if they leave them alone to bond. He doubts Fumi is going to want to leave the nest with Shouto in there acting like a nestbound hatchling. 

As they made lunch, Dabi making Shouto a quick grilled cheese with tomato soup while Keigo made Fumikage an assortment of raw meats,fruits,and nuts, they talked of their plans for moving in together. They originally had thought they would have to wait a little longer to officially move in together but seeing that the boys get along so well they could do it a lot sooner. When they were done preparing their food they walked to the chick’s room with the food in hand only to find the boys sleeping curled around each other like a pair of kittens. Hawks trilled excitedly seeing both his babies resting in the nest while Dabi shook his head fondly. Oh well they can nap for now, they'll put their food away for later. They tipped toed out of the room not wanting to wake the nestlings and settled down on the couch. Keigo resting in Touya’s lap, the pair couldn't help but think life couldn't get better than this . Heroes are over and their chicks are home safely in their nest, they can finally have the peaceful family life they've always wanted.

A couple months later

Life has been bliss for the little family. Dabi and Shouto have moved into Keigo’s floor leaving their old floor vacant for when the rest of their family is found. The chicks have since gotten closer to each other, practically attached by the hip. They go to school together, eat together, play together, sometimes they even find them sleeping together in each other's rooms. Though that is mostly because none of the other kids are ready to play yet. After the Izuku incident the others have really cracked down on their kids, not allowing them out unless they are 100% sure they are ready. 

The pair are quite the handful, always getting into some sort of trouble together more often than not, resulting in time outs and sore bottoms. There was the time they wanted to test if Fumikage could actually use his wings to fly or if they were just superficial so they decided to try to jump off an eight story balcony, turns out they do work he just didn't know how to use them. Thank god Keigo was there in time to catch him. Or the time they were playing hide and seek with Twice and Toga and they decided to hide in a trash can and were loaded into the back of a garbage truck. They only got to them in time because they got an alert from their collars that they had left the manor, Kiego had flown out just in time to see them screaming as they were dropped into the truck, he then had to chase down the moving vehicle to retrieve his brats.

Hawks never knew having children was going to be this exhausting. Dabi being the more experienced of the two when it comes to children just said the boys were testing them and that all kids did it and they would calm down soon. While it was exhausting they were happy that the boys felt comfortable enough to act out with them. They know that neither boy ever had the opportunity to do so safely in the environments that they were raised in and they were glad the chicks felt safe enough to do it with them. 

The only problem now was Dark Shadow. You see, recently Dabi decided that he would be taking off Shouto’s quirk canceller. The boy has been getting sick recently with no explanation. When they took him to the doctor the man explained it might have to do with his body temperature and what he has grown up being used to. Before Shouto had to wear the collar he rarely get sick because of the temperature his quirk made his body naturally, so with it gone his body isn’t used to not having the extreme temperatures of his quirk to kill of all the bad germs, without it his immune system is doing terribly trying to make up for the lack of quirk. So they took off the collar. They trusted the boy fully and wanted the best for his health. Though they did replace it with a tracking bracelet for safety.

Fumikage saw Shouto with his collar off and questioned why he couldn't have his off too. It broke their hearts when they saw one of their chicks crying that they don’t trust him. They tried to explain that it was a different situation since his quirk is sentient. It's not that they trust his brother more, it's just that they don’t trust Dark Shadow. This just led to more tantrums, Shouto joining in because he thinks it's unfair they weren’t being treated the same. After a week full of tantrums, crying, and several punishments they eventually agreed that they would try to release Dark Shadow to try to talk to him but neither boy could be present. They sedated Fumikage while Shouto was sent off to be watched by Magne. They unlocked the collar and out came the huge roaring shadow. Dabi unleashed a burst of bright blue flames to keep Dark Shadow at bay. The shadow decreased in size but stayed just as loud.

“What did you do to Fumi?!?!” Dark Shadow screamed, still trying to lash out despite his small form.

“We didn’t do anything to him, he’s happier now than he’s ever been” Keigo spoke truthfully.

“DON'T LIE TO ME! Just because you take away my ability to come out doesn't mean I'm not there. I can see and feel everything happening to Fumi. So I’ll repeat what I said before. What did you do to him? ” The shadow growled raging against the light keeping his form small.

“We didn’t do anything to him honestly.” Hawks said, raising both hands in the air in a placating manner.

“You're still lying! I can feel that you have done something to Fumi’s mind; he's running solely on some sort of chain of command he can’t fight against.” Dark Shadow growled, there is something very wrong with Fumi’s head he hasn’t acted like this since he was very small.

“Oh that, that's just our avian instincts you know bird to bird.” Keigo replied since he is the eldest avian that makes him top of the chain.

“NO I DON'T KNOW YOU FUC-” Dark Shadow screamed, cut off by another burst of flames. Contrary to popular belief he is a quirk that has nothing to do with birds at all. His user is shaped like a bird so he is shaped like a bird. He knows nothing about avian instincts, he isn’t even a bird himself. He is just a shadow with consciousness and the ability to fight.  

“Okay, simmer down little shadow. We didn't let you out to have a screaming match. We came to negotiate. The fledgling has been wanting to see you for months and we are willing to allow you to have contact with him if you follow our rules.” Dabi said sternly. 

“As if I would bow to the likes of you scum. I'd rather kill you all and take Fumi with me.” Dark Shadow spat venomously. 

“You seem to forget who's in charge here, Dark Shadow. All it takes is one quirk erasing bullet and you're gone forever. We already have Fumi, we don’t need you, all this is for his sake. So you can either cooperate with us and help protect Fumikage or you can be erased. Though I suppose you can also remain dormant if you'd like but I’m sure Fumi will be devastated when we tell him you purposely chose not to see him. The choice is yours.” Hawks purred a teasing smirk on his face, he was bluffing obviously he loves the little shadow and doesn't ever want to get rid of him. He's a part of Fumikage and Kei loves all parts of Fumi, though this particular part is going to be incredibly difficult to manage given the massive amount of power it holds. He needs Dark Shadow to think he is disposable to them, that with the flick of a wrist they would erase him. He needs him to think if he ever steps a toe out of line he will be killed so he never dares to use that immense power against them. 

“I want to see Fumikage. I don’t care what rules I have to follow to see him.” The shadow grumbled angrily looking to the side. He’s doing this to save Fumi, he would do anything for the boy even if it means he gets erased. 

“Good boy Dark Shadow, we knew you would make the right choice.” Keigo smiled.

As much as he would like to rip these villains to shreds and steal Fumi away he has to stay calm. He’ll gain their trust and take Fumi away from here when they least expect it. For now he'll just have to lay low and behave until the opportunity arises. Don't worry Fumikage, I'll fix whatever they did to your mind and get you out of here I promise…

Start/Previous/Next

nahh i hate when people on pinterest (or other social media tbh) post sm about politics and try to 'manipulate' or force others to believe their thoughts and opinions, like, leave me aloneeee i only wanna see itoshi sae on my feed :(

it's selfish,

I know it is.

I apologized for it,

which I know means nothing.

yet I still pressed send,

for me not for you.

and I tell you that,

in typed out abbreviated words.

'so sorry chat',

like it fixes my cruelty.

I could've left well enough alone,

but who am I kidding.

my friends wonder why people vape,

when they know it's bad for them.

well why do they procrastinate writing essays?

why do we stay up late on school nights?

why do I scratch and scrape at my scared skin?

why did I press send on that damn message?

it's selfish,

self harm its in the name.

I apologized for it,

which I know means nothing.

I am so fucking sorry,

for all the wrong reasons.

how I feel listening to Ultraviolence after being manipulated by the girl I love

Sylris is such a weird man. He’s the bad guy, but he doesn’t need to use brute force to get what he wants—he just talks. And the most impressive thing? He NEVER lies! It’s something he decided to do, and somehow everything he says is the truth. Maybe part of the truth, maybe the truth of a single perspective, a twisted and sick truth, but still, a truth. (“The people hate you”, “Ethan is safer away from here”, “Hiélo is getting tired”, “You hurt them because you chose to.”)

So when he says he loves Kenyan, he means it???? Like, WUT?????????????

And that contrast is so good, because he never lies and is the villain, while Kenyan is the one who lies all the time and is the victim.

This man is so ridiculously smart, I’m genuinely impressed. To use his shapeshifter skills, he gotta study anatomy in a pretty specific way; so he probably knows a lot about medicine and could work as a doctor, if he wants to (a disguise to use, an easy way to access people…)

In extension, he knows about psychological science and can make a conversation go the way he wants, hence why he’s so good at being a king, do whatever he wants, and blame Kenyan for it. Because of it, he can be both the abuser as the healer; he makes Kenyan hurt them, and he appears to fix everything. It’s so crazy that he convinced even Kenyan that she is to blame, and that he’s there standing by her side, willing to help while “everyone ran from her”.

Now, you tell me, what kind of person would stay sane at these circumstances?????? What kind of person wouldn’t realize that it’s easier to just stop rowing against the waves?????? Kenyan had to give up at some point, go insane, act as he wants, AND I DON’T BLAME HER AT ALL. He made it look as if she had no other choice; what hand would she take if not his?!!!!!

This man is wild 😦

"Shut up!" The whumper kicked the whumpee's shivering form, "stop it. Stop crying- I can't fucking think."

The whumpee lay curled up on the cold hardwood floor, trying to hold in their sobs, "s-sorry."

"Jesus," the whumper rubbed a hand over their eyes, "don't look at me like that."

The whumpee quickly averted their gaze, whimpering softly.

"Now you're acting like I'm the fucking bad guy," they walked over to the whumpee and sat down.

The whumpee drew into themselves, hugging their arms into their chest.

"Stop it," The whumper pushed on their shoulder, forcing them to lay on their back. The whumpee didn't resist, letting themself be moved. They were unable to hold in a light sob.

"Jesus you're fucking dramatic. Just chill out," the whumper threaded their fingers through the whumpee's hair, "you were being annoying ok? And it's not like I fucking stabbed you."

The whumpee nodded weakly as the whumper pet them.

"There's no reason to get all upset, ok?"

"y-yeah, sorry."

It's wild how abusers will normalize things and use different language to make it sound okay.

"spanking" instead of "hitting" or "beating" unless they're threatening you. Once it's over, you got *spanked" and not "beaten."

I've known for a while that my parents were physically abusive when I was growing up, but I was afraid to call what they did "beating" until recently. I had a conversation with someone I grew up with, and that's what she called it. I was dumbfounded for a second before I stopped and thought about it. Then, I felt validated and heard.

"you're an adult. I know you can't move out yet, but stand up to your parents. Don't be so spineless."

You don't fucking understand. My safety has been threatened over the smallest things. They haven't hit me as an adult, but one of them definitely would if I gave a good enough reason, and the other enables it.

The worst they've done recently is toss drinks on me or throw candy or whatever at me (which is harmless coming from one of them and ambiguous from the other) or get into some psychological or emotional abuse. That's lessened for now too, but only until we move out and they can corner me in a time and place where no one can see or hear either of us.

If I do fight back and it gets violent, I can't do anything about it. They might kick me out. I have nowhere to go. I don't have nearly enough money to sustain myself and most of my clothes are unwearable. It's winter. I could die.

So I'm glad you can do that, but we aren't all so fortunate.