Digital Diary Something Something Contd: Just Gotten My Delivery With Two Paperbacks The Sunshine Court

the chin grab-- no thoughts head empty poor jeremy is going to short-circuit

Imagine Jean getting jealous of how often Jeremy kisses Jab in the next book lmao

broken boy by cage the elephant is neil josten coded tell me i'm wrong i'll wait

so i was rereading aftg this week and since i had read it for the first time lots has changed including the fact my german has become really good (i'm afraid of the word fluent like i can't seriously be that vain yk) and since i've lived in germany for the last three years i was kinda automatically translating all of andrew's group's conversations in my head as i was reading i guess i wanted to experience the plot with how they could've potentially sound and now i'm wondering how many people were doing the same as they read it

no i'm not crying just sitting in the corner thinking of Nicky Hemmick becoming a literal fucking single parent to two teenagers who cannot even be fully described as traumatised because that word does not convey the sheer amount of hell they went through in their short lives while himself being barely an adult with laaaayers of trauma and guilt voluntarily leaving the only human with whom he ever felt safe and loved and truly happy for the uncertainty and the pain of a longe distance relationship knowing he wouldn't even get the acknowledgement for everything he sacrificed because aaron and andrew were not in the mental space for that--

I love that Neil's tendency for drama got him as far as having his own category of cw in this fandom lol

I love Jean so so much. Five years in hell and still his favorite color is that of his lovers eyes and the garden he tended to after he chose to heal. Five years in hell and still he cares enough to ask if Cody was safe. Five years in hell and still he put rainbows on his list of miracles, and open roads, and friends, and fathers. Five years in hell and still he wants to grow a peach tree. Five years in hell and still "Stupid, beautiful Kevin" and "not your capacity for unkindness but how fiercely you fight against it" and "Jean moved without thinking, pressing a close-mouthed kiss to her temple the way she did whenever she thought he was unraveling."

is it just me or would Jean really like AURORA's music (not just because she has major Renee vibes) (well partly exactly because of that) like Running With The Wolves or Runaway are such Jean songs

maybe it's just my katarsis (as in the lithuanian band) brainrot overlapping with my jerejean brainrot (send help) but i can't stop thinking about how the song tavo akys really fits jerejean so well like firstly there is this general desperation and the hunger the song conveys to me personally that just makes me think about how both jean and jeremy have this overwhelming feelings for each other they don't realise are mutual (yet) AND jean thinking about jeremy's eyes (don't even get me started on the whole brown thing) and how jean sees jeremy's smiles often don't reach them but ALSO on the other hand jeremy seeing jean's trauma in his expression so often so the whole part of the song with "your eyes see pain" and so on can be applied to them both from each others perspectives AND THEN at the beginning of the song "the home burns" like hello what a coincidence and this is regarding both their feelings figuratively and the arson situation literally (rip cozy home nr 1) (they'll build a new one together) ALSO there is this general feeling of hopelessness to the song and the boys are so falling for each other but don't allow any hope to get added to the equation (not yet anyway) (though jean at least is on the right path with admitting to himself what he WANTS) (tsc3 has me waiting on my knees) (please let them hope and get what they hoped for please)

this will interest exactly zero people but I've been thinking about it for a while now and spent like four hours on this so may I present:

AFTG characters in a Dracula! au

featuring Jean's glasshouse, a grey-haired Neil and Renee with a Dutch accent

disclaimer 1: if u see my aftg mina and lucy and ask how their friendship is supposed to work in this case I expand on that and some other interactions down below*

disclaimer 2: aftg obviously has way more core characters than dracula and I tried out a lot of combis but I'm still doubting the results so yeah... and also while I altered some relationships I tried to preserve the og dracula feel as much as I could

so here goes:

Jonathan Harker - Neil Josten (main character with zero survival skills, tries to lie low but can't NOT stir some shit up, had a lovely few weeks at Castle Dracula/Castle Evermore, dramatic hair colour changes by the end of the story)

Mina Harker - Andrew Minyard (clever™, done with everyone's dramatics, has to deal with Jonathan/Neil's shenanigans, quiet observer, the only one who seemingly has their shit together while actually suffering a lot but not wanting to let others be preoccupied by that)

Count Dracula - Riko Moriyama PLUS some others (it was difficult to place just one big bad guy because aftg has different layers of antagonists so while Riko is the primary Dracula 1.0 in his Castle (Evermore) whom Jonathan/Neil and the gang opposes they later on encounter another vampire, an ally of Dracula's from the west — Jonathan/Neil's father Nathan (the Butcher of Bristol) (no shade towards Bristol it just sounds neat) whom Neil thought he was long rid of in his life (Neil didn't know he became a vampire), think of him like Dracula 2.0, not less of an enemy than Riko)

Lucy Westenra - Jean Moreau (the epitome of being a victim of circumstances (made a target of Dracula/Riko's because fate just oh so wanted to screw them over), somehow simultaneously sweet summer child and hot icon, everybody wants them, lively extrovert (Jean IS canonically a sassy extrovert we just don't see a lot of it in tsc because his very fresh trauma dampens it but in tgr in becomes clearer)

Arthur Godalming - Kevin Day (the it girl, aristocrat (queen parallels), despite earnestly caring about Lucy/Jean still oversees a huge part of their pain; in my au Lucy/Jean doesn't choose him as husband)

Quincey Morris - Jeremy Knox (southern American sunshine, loyal to death and extremely protective over Lucy/Jean, quote from the og novel 'a rough fellow, who hasn't perhaps lived as a man should' (freshman jeremy giving a huge side eye rn) (his pupils are suspiciously diluted), the only one who does not canonically journal (concentration problems lol); in my au Lucy/Jean chooses Quincey/Jeremy over Arthur/Kevin)

Jack (John) Seward - Aaron Minyard !!! I swear !!! not just because they are both doctors it makes sense okay???? (logical thinker, has to deal with mentally unstable people on a daily basis, sceptical, secretly a softie, truly wants to help people get better; in my au he's crushing on Arthur/Kevin instead of Lucy/Jean but doesn't admit to it for a while because Art/Kev is a lordling and he is a common psychiatrist and also Art/Kev is too obsessed with Lucy/Jean to notice him (only at first though I'm a sap I like HEA))

Van Helsing - Renee Walker !! hear me out on this one before you ask wtf !! (seems like a cutie patootie but knows how to saw off a head, seen some shit in their life, has a deeper understanding of Mina/Andrew's intelligence, steps in to save Lucy/Jean's life, does not fear Dracula/Riko (or more like is not hesitant to challenge him despite the fear)

Renfield - this one was such a PAIN to place my first thought was Jean but I ended up giving him Lucy so after turning it this way and that way I thought maybe Seth Gordon would work? he died as a prop in Dracula/Riko's sick game so that fits but the overall dynamic still seems a tad off to me, let me know if you have a better take on aftg Renfield

* Lucy&Mina/Jean&Andrew:

so as I see it Andrew and Jean could actually have a nice platonic dynamic:

I think they are very compatible. In canon if Andrew was not (understandably) unable and unwilling to fully trust anyone but Neil (and Bee but to a certain degree) and if Jean was not royally fucked over by his time as Riko's property I believe they could have been friends or at least have a good understanding because they both couldn't care less about exy (and Kevin and Neil being exy junkies are the bane of their existence), they are sharp, sarcastic, often amused (but don't show it openly) by others' stupid behaviour (or what they perceive as stupid regardless of whether it actually is such).

In my dracula! au Andrew met Jean when he was ten and Jean nine after being thrown around various fucked up orphanages. He was separated from Aaron (who ended up adopted by a local physician) at birth.

Jean was adopted, too, when he was little (the Westenras saw a broody abandoned toddler on the streets of Marseille while on vacation and were like welp guess we have a kid now huh). His adoptive parents, the Westenras, took Andrew in because they thought Jean was lonely as a teenager (he was okay with the company of his dogs and the bugs in the garden and the swallows living in a nest under the slope of the roof by his room's window but whatever). The Westenras are the kind of wealthy who are trying to 'make a difference' and not be like those other rich folks or something like that but my world is all sunshine and rainbows so they actually are THAT nice and did not adopt the boys for public appearances only. They wanted to give Andrew a chance at good life though Andrew obv has the impression of it all being bs at the beginning (who can blame him he's been through Things). Jean was very patient about his attitude and supported him on the journey of healing from the childhood abuse so they are practically siblings. (Aaron is very hurt and bitter because his brother feels like that about some random ass obnoxious French guy and it makes him dislike Jean initially which is only made worse when Kevin ends up fawning over him but as they are forced to work together when Jean is targeted by Dracula/Riko Aaron sort of starts seeing more of his actual personality and they actually get to know each other outside of Aaron's jealousy). (Jean was actually not at all hostile and very curious (ahem) about Aaron at the start, the young gentleman who appeared exactly like his adoptive brother at first glance but somehow completely different, so contemplative, unreachable, oftentimes letting out bitter quips abot this and that, a competent doctor, so mysterious and lonesome, for some reason reluctant to respond to Jean's attempts at getting to know him better. But then Quincey/Jeremy turned up and Jean was done for lol).

The dracula!au version of Jean and Andrew not giving a damn about exy would be them not caring about high society soirées and such, they would rather go explore some ancient abbey ruins together, read a book or study shorthand (in Andrew's case) or do some gardening and pottery (in Jean's case), while Arthur/Kevin organises all these high society events and cricket games and whatnot desperately trying to spend some time with his bestie (Andrew, remains unimpressed) or engage Jean's attention (unsuccessful, Jean would rather visit Kevin's good friend Aaron at the asylum to hover at his side while Dr Minyard speaks to some guy expanding on how he would prepare Aaron for dinner should he have a chance to strangle him, or listen to yet another good pal of Kevin's, an eccentric American with tan arms and cute freckles rambling about rare plants he encountered on his journeys which he swears he could acquire for Jean's winter garden should his dear Mr Moreau express such a whish) (Jean has scored with this one lol the neighbourhood's ladies will be foaming at the mouth at the mere sight of his gorgeous conservatory)

**bonuses:

Swales (old guy in Whitby who sences Dracula's coming) - Wymack (ngl I chose this one because it's objectively hilarious: just an old man who's seen it all and does not hesitate to openly say his opinion on anything with no filter whatsoever, also kinda the voice of wisdom to Mina/Andrew although they do not take him very seriously but he ends up being right every time)

the three vampire women in Dracula's Castle - Lola, Romero and Jackson (basically Dracula 2.0/Nathan's sidekicks)

***what's up with the rest of the characters (not exactly based on the novel but I tried (emphasise on tried) to be loosely historically accurate to the Victorian era setting):

Matt and Dan are a married couple, both children of formerly enslaved abolitionist activists. They are working at Jonathan/Neil's solicitor office and are thoroughly baffled by him skipping work (he left a cryptic note temporarily transferring his responsibilities to them) after being abroad to work with a private client and showing up a couple weeks later completely grey-haired, stacking the office cupboard with gallons of holy water and decorating the space with awfully smelly flowers. Obviously, knowing Dan's character, she (with Matt's support) was also an active advocate for equality (for women's rights as well as black people's rights)

Allison is a countess. She's friends with Arthur/Kevin and although he is supportive of her he does not always get her since she mostly spends her time exploring the life of lower classes all over England and travelling around the world shooting documentaries about different cultures (of course she has early access to the curious new invention of moving pictures). She meets Van Helsing/Renee during her stay in London and they bond over interest in science and being explorers in their respective fields

Nicky Hemmick is a renowned tailor, his clothes are worn by every self-respecting Londoner who can afford it and quite a few aristocrats all around England. He discovers his relation to the twins a bit later in life than he would have wished but he tries to be there for them both as much as he can. He loves tailoring but he also runs his salon as a front for what is basically a safe space for queer people since they are targeted by the Labouchere Amendment. Nicky doesn't know it but Andrew (using Kevin's ties) watches out in case Nicky falls under the government's suspicion because of such activities. Also, Nicky is friends with Oscar Wilde :)

Cat and Laila live in their own little paradise on a ranch in Texas, Jean and Jeremy will secretly elope there eventually after the gang deals with all the vampires because I refuse to kill them off in this au

Okay I think that was it for now. What am I doing with my life

the song mowgli's road by marina is soooo jean moreau coded here are my arguments:

"I'll escape if I try hard enough,/Till, King of the Jungle calls my bluff" literally jean in the first few months after being sold to be riko's

THEN "I'll do as I am told" literally pre-healing jean at the beginning of tsc (and during his life before renee saved him)

"You say Y-E-S to everything" jean at the nest because he knew No was not an option

and MOST IMPORTANTLY "Do you think you will be good enough,/To love others and to be loved?" LITERALLY JEAN'S CONSTANT TRAIN OF THOUGHTS

I'm obsessed