I Wanted To Spend Less Money, Ended Up Getting Some Boba Tea In Honour Of Laila Dermott Instead... Don't

went out to run some errands to stop thinking about jerejean for a bit because the amount of feelings I get from them is sometimes a Lot (capital L). anyway saw this on a wall just now-- thoughts immediately spiralled back to jeremy mission successfully failed

in light of the recent nora post: i don't know if i can ever be mentally stable if kevin day gets a duology in which he is supposed to be finally healing only for his self to be completely reduced to exy and end up with miss thea 'i do not acknowledge the raven abuse' muldani like i might actually break yk

i did not fully grasp the chokehold aftg has on me until a situation i found myself in this evening: just came back from running 4.6 kilometres (not much but it's not zero so i take that as a win) for the first time after not having been running (or doing any sports tbh) since march-- all because i imagined the disdain Neil Jean and Kevin would have looked at me with for slacking off like this for two months straight

granted the speed (or lack thereof) i was going with would have probably prompted even more scorn but we can't all be fucking inhumane fast can we now

ALSO turns out wearing a bandana really is a game changer it's so cool not having my fringe in my eyes all the time (but i do feel a bit terrified that i start resembling Neil more and more first i found out the running joke in the fandom about neil and jorts and i might or might not be a proud wearer of those now the bandana and i also realised halfway into the run that the camp half blood tshit i wore was technically the foxes orange so... feeling very cringe rn ngl)

i caught beautiful sunset though yay

went out to run some errands to stop thinking about jerejean for a bit because the amount of feelings I get from them is sometimes a Lot (capital L). anyway saw this on a wall just now-- thoughts immediately spiralled back to jeremy mission successfully failed

yesterday I saw a fanart of tipsy Cat singing Chiquitita by ABBA to Jean (the art was by gremlinn_ddraws on ig) and I can't stop thinking about how perfectly this song fits him I fear I just cannot bring myself to not see the perfect representation of Jean's path

'You're enchained by your own sorrow/ In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow'

'Now I see you've broken a feather' Jean never escaping the bird references huh

'You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end' I sure hope it will

'But the sun is still in the sky and shinin' above you' what is it if not Jeremy and the Trojans in Jean's life

i hate hyperfixations they r so draining like I'm supposed to be applying to universities not getting dizzy because of fictional traumatised stickball players in love who took permanent residence in my brain

I love that Neil's tendency for drama got him as far as having his own category of cw in this fandom lol

the song mowgli's road by marina is soooo jean moreau coded here are my arguments:

"I'll escape if I try hard enough,/Till, King of the Jungle calls my bluff" literally jean in the first few months after being sold to be riko's

THEN "I'll do as I am told" literally pre-healing jean at the beginning of tsc (and during his life before renee saved him)

"You say Y-E-S to everything" jean at the nest because he knew No was not an option

and MOST IMPORTANTLY "Do you think you will be good enough,/To love others and to be loved?" LITERALLY JEAN'S CONSTANT TRAIN OF THOUGHTS

I'm obsessed

broken boy by cage the elephant is neil josten coded tell me i'm wrong i'll wait

andreil and jerejean do have some important parallels but it’s also so funny that we went from andreil ‘never saying i love you to each other’ and ‘not getting married’ to jerejean who will most likely say i love you even before they kiss and jeremy taking jean’s surname after like a year of knowing each other