If You're Feeling Anxious Or Depressed About The Climate And Want To Do Something To Help Right Now,

I Feel I Should Address The Elephant In The Room

As someone named Julius, I'm looking forward to my first ‘Ides of March’ on Tumblr with you all.

Thank you so much for sharing. In truth I was a little worried my post would not be well received, but I just wanted to let you know that even with the difficulties that you experienced, you still came out on top and became a remarkable person, not because of the pain but in spite of it. 

You are a wonderful person, and I am so glad to have known you.

Do Memories of Your Religious Upbringing Leave You Feeling Afraid?

Do you know the story of the city of sodom in the bible? You know, in Genesis 19? You know how angels warned Lot and his family to flee the city and not look back? How in the end they were riding out of the city as it was being destroyed, but the wife could not help but look back, and was turned into a pillar of salt as punishment? That story upset me terribly as a kid. It seemed so cruel, and just for what? That sick feeling in your gut that makes you watch on even though you know you shouldn't?

I mean, I know now why it upset me so much. I would've looked too. It's absurd--

Not the other wild claims that were preached to us, interpretations rather than written word, while we all sat there drinking in the words like they were absolute. It was the damn pillar of salt that got me, that just ate me up inside. I can't help myself, I have to look. Every time. It's a real damned if I do, damned if I don't situation and all my life I've been told this ache to reach into the unknown horrors is wrong.. at least until I moved, anyways.

How could a deity punish something as wonderful as free thinking? Or curiosity? These stories make me wonder where the real harm was, or was it just simply another story to inspire fear in the hearts of men from as long back as fear possibly existed.

I want to be divorced from the inner child in me that still deep down believes it, and is half is expecting to be  struck dead for breathing life to such thoughts

And then there's the thought that's just outside of my periphery of "Oh, well what would you do of you had that level of power, Jules? Hmm?" And that just makes my brain buzz with anxiety because I know I'd doom us all.

About Problematic Kin

While I take this brief interlude on my blog, I would like to make something abundantly clear that I have had others inquiring about-- I will never turn away problematic or ‘antagonist’ fictionkin and fictives. 

I have seen you pushed to the wayside without anyone allowing you to get your foot in the door, or taking the time to understand your story. It's a shame because I have met so many wonderful kins who hesitate to interact with their own communities, and if I shut them out, I would have missed out on some genuinely wonderful interactions.

 To the HABITs of Everyman HYBRID, the Andys and Ashleys of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, the Kevins of Welcome to Nightvale,  and the Jonah Magnuses of The Magnus Archives, I want YOUR STORY. I want to understand your experiences, your memories but most of all I want you to know that you aren't alone. Whether you're a slasher from a horror film or a protagonist from a source material that has gained a reputation.. I would like to hear you out, to understand you in your entirety because I too have been marked by something horrific, and it has defined me my whole life. 

I want you to know that while it may feel impossible to stop that feeling, maybe we can all peer into the unknown together, and find joy in this life in spite of previous ones. 

Where Have You Been This February?

If there is one good thing that came out of this emotional breakdown that I had recently on my blog, it's that it opened my eyes to many other blogs that have expressed similar sentiments. 

We are from an age of lost souls and misguided ghosts. Through the isolation of quarantine, through our unstable political climates, the mental walls we build for ourselves, and with it being Valentine's weekend- it's no wonder why some of us feel lonely. It's not just an affliction, but a place we find ourselves, and I can't help but think of the strange dreams that I've had about a particular seaside that was forgotten by the sands of time- I want you to know that we can leave here anytime because while you feel lonely, you have never been alone.

Be it your memories that haunt you, or your struggle through the monotony of a hellaish 9-5

Your nights looking up at the ceiling, wondering when your life will begin. I understand that search to find yourself, and feeling no closure or connection to fellow man- and lord knows we’ve tried. Your uncertainty for the future that looks ever bleak,Your struggle to be seen, in a world that constantly disregards the stories that you hold to your heart and the memories behind your eyes- I see these things.  You've suffered, yes, but you don't have to hide. You’ve risen to the occasion before, and I know you can again. I promise someday someone is going to see these things in you as well, and so much more that I could never hope to do justice- the things that light you up with joy and really make you who you are because we are not going to remain lost here.

So be brave, and for the time being just know that if you're alone then you're with me.

Oh. My. God. That’s it. That’s the copypasta that haunted my childhood back when I was still naive and gullible. I remember when copypastas had hit the absolute peak of popularity in the early 2000’s, often posted in comment sections and on message board websites. I must’ve been about 10 years old when I’d first seen that block of text show up under a youtube video I should not have been watching (My parents often left me with my grandmother, who tried and failed to keep me from viewing unsuitable media). I remember reading it, and immediately saying to myself how stupid it was… And then, because I didn’t have an account to forward the message to, I lived my life under the impression that my days were numbered for 2 straight years. 

There were rituals, and bargaining involved- I would write long winded letters to the ghost from the story, arguing why I should live, and then leaving them on my bedside table. Of course when anyone asked what I was doing I’d lie and say I was working on a short story to save face and not admit 

1.) That I was viewing horror media I shouldn’t have, and

2.) That I was gullible enough to be scared of such things

And now when I read it back I can see why; This is utter nonsense! All that time, I could’ve washed my hair in peace without being afraid of being pulled down the drain as a child, gosh I feel like a chump.

yeah sorry if it's out of your style

Huh.

I am ahmed from Gaza I hope you are well, my dear. Please help me. Our tent was flooded while we were sleeping in the streets. We have no shelter. I cannot provide winter clothes for me and my mother to protect us from the cold that has begun, and I cannot provide basic needs. Please help me. $50 is enough to buy a new tent and winter clothes. Please help me my dear. We live in very harsh conditions.conditions.https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-ahmed-and-his-family-survive-in-gaza-crisis

ahmed-gaza033's donation page is available on gofundme.com

Yeah I have a suggestion for you

Are you a paranoid schitsophrenic?

Here's a word of advice, Anon. At least learn how to spell 'Schizophrenic' before you send a hate post. My schedule is very busy so I hardly have the time to respond to mindless ramblings of the illiterate.

Lampshades

Nooo seriously I agree with the one anon who suggested tma! Like the way you talk is giving serious Jon Sim vibes you got to check out the podcast, stat❤️❤️❤️

I take it you feel strongly on this matter? I'll bump the source material up in my list of stuff to look into just for you, anon.

As a treat.