I'm Finding A Lot Of Moments Of Melancholy Accompanying The Shifts, Looking Up At The Moon In The Night

I've been thinking about gender this morning and realize that pouf played a decent role in me figuring out exactly where I am in terms of how I feel about masculinity.

As a trans man, I don't really often see men who look like me; I especially don't see men like me because I'm not planning on medical transition. Of course, I'm not disparaging those who seek it out - that's wonderful! I'm so glad that there are options for those who have debilitating dysphoria, but I personally only suffer from it on a social level. I rarely feel it otherwise, and this is the choice I feel most comfortable with. However, this comes at the cost of rarely ever seeing men like myself; practically every trans man I see is either post-transition, or is planning to do so.

And I can now say that this is what struck me so much about this character, that he had so many stereotypically feminine traits, but was still clearly recognized as a man. That we had similar body types, similar mannerisms and means of expression. It was around then that I began to play with masculine pronouns and realized how much I enjoyed them; my most comfortable and conforming outfits ended up being semi-formal wear. I can push androgyny if I really try, but the only way to be consistently read as masculine would be to cut my hair, which I refuse to do at this point. I'd had nearly buzzed hair at one point, but find I like my shoulder length hair much better.

I'm actutely aware of how the butterfly is coded as a "feminine" insect, and that was also something that initially drew me to him. I'd never seen butterflies associated with masculinity, and to this day I haven't seen anything quite like him. He really pushed me farther along in my transition than I think I would've achieved otherwise.

Livre de la Vigne nostre Seigneur; France, 15th century; Bodleian Library, MS. Douce 134, f. 49v

Yes, actually, that does feel like the best description of my alterhumanity experiences, not of one soul through two lifetimes, but two souls in one lifetime

Apricity

(A-pri-si-ti)

Noun

The warmth of the sun in winter.

The registration schedule for Othercon 2023 is up!

What is Othercon? It's a virtual alterhuman convention that takes place on Discord on the 2nd weekend of August. This will be our 4th year running!

⏳Staff: March 1st - April 30th

⏳Artists/dealers: May 1st - June 30th

⏳Panelists: June 1st - June 30th

⏳Attendees: July 1st - Aug 6th

⏳Convention dates: Aug 11th - 13th

If you are a panelist, then we advise not waiting until the window opens to prepare! It's best to plan ahead and have your idea ready to go so you don't miss any deadlines.

If you are an attendee, set your calendar! Lots of potential attendees are sad yearly from missing registration.

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

Day 10: Link to/tag your favorite fictionkin Tumblr.

Aside from my own? Unfortunately, I don't have one. I'm fairly new to the community on an overall level and haven't found many others.

Day 11: Have you ever met other fictionkin? In real life or online?

I have spoken well with at least one other person who openly experiences kin the way I do, but haven't had more interaction than that. I would love to meet someone who is fictionkin in real life, just to have that bonding moment.

I have, however, seen a few other blogs made by those who also kin this character. None appear to be active, and I'm not sure if I could even find them again at this rate, but I do strongly recall them for the impact they left on me. I was at least a little embarrassed by who I'd found myself feeling drawn towards, and seeing others interacting with that same draw made me feel at least a bit more at ease.

I would love to be able to meet more.

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

Day 1: What is your fictotype? Are you a specific character, a nonhuman species, or both?

My kintype is Sh.aiapouf from the anime/manga series H.unter x Hu.nter.

While the typing I have is in regard to the character, I would be inclined to say nonhuman species as well - as much as I identify with the character, I identify with his insectoid traits as well.

Finding myself asking what the harm could be in letting myself have my spirituality, so what? And what if it's meaningful? And what if it gives me peace? Suspension of disbelief is necessary in a sense I suppose, though it also makes me ask whether belief would undermine me in any way. It all stems from the same (traumatic) source

🦋

Hello all. You may call me Shai; I am 24, use he/him pronouns, and am aromantic and asexual.

I've been identifying with the kin community for roughly two years now, and have designated this blog as a space for me to explore my thoughts and feelings a bit more fully, in a judgment-free space. This blog is also where I'll collect imagery and posts that I identify with. I may occasionally post my own art as well. Some other things you may like to know about me include:

✨️ Psychological and spiritual kin - my identity as fictionkin developed as a method of processing grief and trauma, but I have leaned into the spiritual aspect as well as I find it comforting.

✨️ I am being led to believe that my kin identity is also a result of dissociation, specifically that my kintype constitutes a dissociative fragment.

✨️ Only one kin - Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter.

✨️ Chronically ill - I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and, interestingly enough, I use it to connect with my kintype. This condition is genetic and affects all systems in my body, so this is something I will continually discuss here.

✨️ This is a sideblog, my main I follow back and interact from is @/ad.hd-sh.aiapouf

While I am a bit more quiet on this blog, I am online quite frequently and am open for any type of conversation or discussion; in spite of the formality, I swear I'm friendly 💖

Tags for reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for royal buildings and things that remind me of the past

❤️ -> imagery falling under the lovecore aesthetic

Maxfield Parish (United States 1870-1966). Lull Brook /Winter Peace at Twilight 1945.