How Romanticizing Everything Changed My Life

Not too long ago I had an anon ask me how to fake it till she makes it in manifesting her luxury lifestyle. I gave a bit of advice (you should read that before finishing this) but I want to elaborate more on a certain aspect that is crucial to obtaining an ideal life: becoming your ideal self. That ask was focused on lifestyle, but what about the self glow-up? That’s where this guide comes in. I see a lot of guides where the OP tells you the type of woman you should become, and it’s usually based on their own idea of what is desirable. This is different. This is a barebones guide that requires you to think hard about yourself and what would satisfy you to live in your own skin. To no longer wish to be anyone else. To be the best version of YOU. Who is the the ideal woman you are aspiring to be?

Here’s how to start:

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Step 1: describe your dream girl and create a list of 12 essential qualities/skills she has. Things that are controllable by a person themselves, not reliant on another person or location. (Good: she drinks tea every day. Bad: her boyfriend makes tea for her every day)

Step 2: make a list of how you can acquire those qualities

Step 3: dedicate one quality to each month of the year and for every single day of that month, cultivate habits that will make those qualities now belong to you. 30 days is a great amount of time to build a habit that you can continue on with even after the target date has passed. It’s not too long to feel scary but it’s long enough to make really good progress. Plus you won’t feel overwhelmed about doing all of these new things at once. Just one quality at a time :)

Step 4: after 12 months, you will have dedicated 365 days to your own personal growth and transformation and will now emerge a brand new woman.

To make this even easier on you, I will create an example using a mix of things that are about me.

My dream girl is: a beautiful and fit domestic goddess who speaks multiple foreign languages, plays instruments, is a wiz in the kitchen, and has a killer style

12 qualities to create her:

Takes expert care of her outward appearance

Eats healthy and works out every day

Speaks french

Speaks korean

Speaks spanish

Plays piano

Cooks a proper meal every day

Always dresses well no matter what

Keeps her home spic and span

Manages her emotions well to always be kind and composed to others instead of combative and volatile

Is a minimalist

Studies hard in school

(When you make your list of 12 qualities, don’t worry about making them perfectly correspond to a certain month just yet. First, just get them all written down and then you can rearrange it later. For the sake of this, let’s just pretend that mine are in a perfect order as is)

January: takes expert care of her outward appearance

For January, I will spend 31 days focused on beauty. Every single morning and night I will do my skincare routine, a face mask, use my serums and exfoliants (when necessary), and make sure to apply sunscreen. I will get a skincare consultation if needed, I will schedule a dentist appointment or do at home teeth whitening treatments. I will take a bubble bath once a day and always make sure that I’m exfoliated. I will always make time to shave/wax/epilate/whatever and maintain manicured nails and eyebrows. My hair care will be completely on point because my hair will always be deep conditioned, well moisturized, and styled to perfection.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of taking care of your external appearance and will be used to looking and feeling a certain way)

February: eats healthy and works out every day

For February, I will find a list of healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and make sure to use them as my eating guide. I will watch my calories and eat foods that nourish my body. I will cut out sugary drinks and extra sweets and do a workout for at least 30 minutes every day. I will watch a lot of content on health and fitness to keep me on track and make sure that I know what I’m doing.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every single day. You will now be in the habit of making and eating healthy foods, have a 30 day workout streak, and will have a new relationship with your health and fitness. Because you have successfully committed a whole month to this lifestyle, it will be easier to keep it going to reach your body goals)

March: speaks French

For March, I will study french every day for at least an hour. I will watch french movies and tv shows, learn grammar and memorize vocabulary. I will always keep my flashcards on an app and study them frequently so that I don’t forget anything. I will find a french language exchange partner online and talk to them everyday so they can correct my mistakes.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will now be in the habit of studying a foreign language for a dedicated amount of time each and every day. This will get you to a strong start and make it much easier for you to continue learning the language as time moves forward)

November: is a minimalist

For November I will focus on living a minimalist lifestyle and being intentional with the items I allow into my space. I will go through my whole house and declutter all of the things that I don’t need. I will not buy things this month unless they are essentials to me and my growth. I will watch/read a lot of content on consumerism and try to understand why I own so many things. I will have a better relationship with my possessions and take better care of the things I own so that I won’t need to keep buying new ones.

(Keep a log and make sure to do this every day. You will form a better relationship with your possessions and learn to let go of unimportant things. This will build the habit of being mindful of the things you allow into your space and allowing you to make better buying choices in the future)

You get the idea. So basically you will elaborate on each of the 12 qualities and make it very clear what your daily goals are for that month. The most important thing is to stick to it. You have to build the habit so that it becomes your new normal. This is how you acquire a new lifestyle and persona. You do it every day until it’s your default setting. You don’t call someone an a good student because they got an A one time, right? You call them a good student because they consistently demonstrate the actions that makes one a good student on a daily basis.

“But 2pretty! How can I stick to these things every day? What if I don’t feel like it sometimes?”

It’s all about discipline and consistency. Having your effort correspond to how badly you want something. Focusing on the big picture and sacrificing a little bit of comfort. Choosing to be your most excellent self rather than the easiness of staying the same. Growth is hard! But that’s what makes it worth it.

You all can sit here and read level up posts until you turn blue in the face but the fact of the matter is, The Ideal You can only emerge if you put in the work to become her. I believe in you.

I can’t wait to meet the new you in 12 months. See ya then.

Time for a digital declutter:

Clear desktop

Delete apps you don’t use

Delete downloads/screenshots

Organise everything into folders

Give every document a clear name

Delete your emails (!!!)

Unsubscribe from email lists

Check and install updates

Turn off any social media notifications you don’t need

Organise your pictures into folders

Do the same with apps

Go through your Facebook friends list/people you follow on Instagram

Unfollow anything that makes you feel insecure

Clear browser history and bookmarks

Back up anything that’s important

Today, become somebody else.

Just for one day, become whoever you want to be.

Think new thoughts. Speak different words. Act in a new way.

Just one day.

When you change your habits, you change your personality.

When you change your personality, your whole life shifts.

One day. You can do this.

Pop the champagne louder 🍾

how to visualize your desires easily:

here’s your daily reminder to visualize the person you want to and will become as soon as you wake up and as soon as you’re about to sleep.

you can do this process through using the 17 second method (steps listed below), guided visualization meditations, or whatever aligns with you.

the 17 second method:

“maintain a thought in your mind for 17 seconds, you can stimulate its energy vibrations. Going further, if you can hold on to the same thought for 68 seconds, the vibrations will rise dramatically and get amplified enough to manifest the thought”

steps:

1. set the mind on a positive note (i recommend listening to affirmations or sound healing to do so)

2. choose what you want to manifest. if you are a beginner, it may be easier to focus on one manifestation at a time.

3. think about the goal you want to manifest for 17 seconds. try to not let your mind wonder, if it does, be gentle with yourself. it is 100% okay!

4. when the 17 second alarm goes off, turn your attention back to your goal. now set a timer for 51 seconds. continue to focus on a sequence of thoughts related to your goal for 51 seconds.

5. let it go. remember: manifestation is a butterfly.

“manifestation is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder”

- quote inspired by nathaniel hawthorne

the guided meditation i used today:

https://youtu.be/6JgMOEINKqw

Your average woman spends....

7 hours a day on her cellphone

49 hours a week,

210 a month,

2520 per year,

And finally, 25200 per decade. That's 2.9 years of her life spent on Instagram, Tiktok, YouTube, et cetera, doing useless activities that she'll not even remember, out of 10 YEARS of her life.

Even dedicating one third of that total time spent on screens on activities that provide an actual feeling of furfillement would reveal itself to be incredibly more fruitful.

We're assisting to a massive collective time sinking right now, and it should worry every single one of us. Even you, dear reader.

Your average woman is putting off excercise, skipping cooking healthy meals and going for the junkfood, avoiding studying new things that will enrich her life by going on Instagram Reels, odds she's skipping socialization opportunities with family or friends, she's probably missing out on activities because she's being overwelmed by the SELF-CAUSED lack of TIME. Your average woman is very likely to report lack of focus and feeling less productive than she feels she could be. She's also likely to report having mental health issues, from anxiety to depression, compulsion or apathy, or general lack of energy even.

Those two different issues, time wasting and lack of satisfaction with one's life, are absolutely linked.

And in my honest opinion, dedicating maybe one hour or two per day to reading, self-improvement, journaling, meditation, excercise, actual in-person socialization, and so on is going to help a LOT those issues.

Your average woman is actually simply NOT doing any of that.

And you probably deduced that being average isn't a great thing in that case.

You owe yourself your own happiness and furfillement. You owe yourself time to yourself.

You owe yourself an excellent focus, you owe yourself accomplishment and success.

You know how to do it. Eliminate anything that's on the way. Uninstall Tumblr and Pinterest and Tiktok and Facebook and Twitter and... You get it. You're way more likely to WASTE your precious time and STEAL yourself from great opportunities because you dead-scrolled.

Then, with the remaining apps, electronics, etc, severely declutter their use down to what you DO actually appreciate, to what you consider important.

Technology offers great benefits but it did stole our collective time. It made us insolated from each other, it made us hyperfocused on the fake PLEASURE that electronic device "interactions" offers, and made us skip the ACTUAL PLEASURE that life offers us.

I am not writing this to be angry at YOU in particular, I am personally pretty angry at the WHOLE situation that led us to that. And I personally feel pretty helpless facing this whole situation, people are aware of this themselves but they don't really realize how bad it actually is.

~masterlist~

tysm to the anon who asked me to make this :)

also i have 128 posts, not all are listed. i've excluded anon asks that didn't have any advice, since this masterlist is supposed to be just my advice posts. they're also in order from oldest to most recent

self improvement journal prompts

how to be your best

how to be confident

romanticizing life

learning to live/dealing with social media addiction

how to improve

healthy habits that changed my life

becoming your highest self

starting the day off right

basic beauty tips

becoming more positive

reinvent yourself

school advice

how to become "that girl"

living a healthier lifestyle

school advice pt. 2

how i changed my life/my self improvement journey

habits for success

homework tips

putting yourself first

how to be confident pt 2

period advice

becoming "high value"

tips to become healthier

starting small

dealing with rude/unkind people- anon asks

it girl: alexa demie

getting through rough times

starting the day (similar to earlier post)

it girl: marilyn monroe

how to feel good without makeup

coquette gift ideas

becoming happier

ways to get into the christmas spirit

reset

coquette styling/outift building- anon asks

my beauty routine

what helps my mental health

glowing up for the new year

my focus going into 2023

healing your inner child

how to feel energized

don't lower your standards

getting out of a slump/getting motivation- anon asks

how to be organized- anon asks

feeling feminine

how to feel like a princess

self improvement mistakes

2023: improving mental health

things to avoid

my new habits

glow up tips

going from a toxic to a non toxic person- anon asks

2023

boosting brain power (one of my fav posts that i've made)

becoming your dream you

getting over a guy- anon asks

travelling alone- anon asks

simple habits that can change your life

ways to improve health pt. 2

motivation with studying/avoiding procrastination- anon asks

becoming productive

bringing joy into your life

giant advice post (getting ones life back together, finding oneself, self love, aesthetics, saving money and finding a vibe)- anon asks

fixing your sleep schedule

self improvement made simple

weekend reset

healthy breakfast ideas- anon asks

affordable skincare reccomendations

tips for being sick/sore throat- anon asks

that girl reminders

letting go of the past

organize your life

hair tips for 2a hair- anon asks

self deprication and self love

increasing costumer reach on your page- anon asks

energy drainers

combatting procrastination

balance

making new friends/being likeable- anon asks

positive and negative influences

dealing with guilt and regret + growing- anon asks

recipe recommendations (except i can barely cook)

being taken seriously

cultivating kindness- anon asks

things to do when you're bored

being respectful

look put together

accepting your flaws. (idk y but this one has a period in its title)

habits that have changed my life pt. 2 (more in depth)

finding a signature scent- anon asks

making friends

style advice- anon asks

shopping smartly

fiixing sleed schedule/dealing with distractions- anon asks

it girl: hedy lamarr

dealing with negative emotions

making a good first impression- anon asks

how to be self disciplined with 0 motivation- anon asks

RE-INVENT YOURSELF FOR 2022

this post was inspired by this tiktok: here

okay first realise..realise you have the power to change ANYTHING. its never too late to change your reality. dont think that you’re too “old” and that its late for you. people are in their 40s, 50s, 60s trying to find themselves and their true identity and trying out new hobbies! this idea that life ends when you’re 30 or whatever is such bullshit. you have so much time to change anything you want and nothing is impossible. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

once you realise that, you can conquer anything. your problems are so small compared to you, because you’re magnificent. in this time of age we do not stop to congratulate ourselves because we are always comparing ourselves to other peoples lives on social media, or our parents are comparing us to other peoples kids. take time to CONGRATULATE YOURSELF for atleast wanting to try doing better for yourself. thats already an achievement and a step closer to achieving your dream life. some of you guys have been through hell and back, yet you’re still here. just congratulate yourself on that, because thats amazing. really.

now..lets start a funeral.

write down or take mental note of all your “bad habits” than can include something simple as procrastinating or idk nail biting. GET RID OF THEM. DECLARE THIS NOW that you will stop doing those habits, these bad habits do not benefit you. now, its pretty easy to cling back onto these “bad habits” so dont even worry about it. if you do it again do not belittle yourself, do not beat yourself up about it omg. literally dont you’re still amazing and hey..maybe you won’t completely get rid of them so start minimising how much you do those so-called bad habits

secondly, the mental glow up

mental glowups are also important aswell as physical glowups. mental glowups really do wonders and can impact your physical appearance!

• don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.

i feel like its so normal for us to do this and i think if you were in a household that was not particularly great at emotional wellbeing you would struggle whenever you make mistake cus you would beat yourself up about it, its a tactic we’ve learned to do and its not a very good one.

• treat yourself with kindness.

how you treat a little child under your care, treat your mind and yourself as so. when you feel under pressure, when you feel caught up with everything. take it slow. and realise, you’re amazing and you can get through any obstacle.

• treat yourself like a QUEEN!

honestly, we should all start treating ourselves like the beautiful people we are?? like yeah i woke up messy hair and all but i am still beautiful. i am still shockingly pretty and i rock any hairdo.

• prioritise yourself. stop prioritising others.

now dont get me wrong, when the moment is right you can put others before yourself..BUT NOT ALL THE DAMN TIME! treat yourself, love yourself and prioritise yourself.

thirdly, the PHYSICAL GLOWUP!

now whatever you want to look like, visualise, script, command your subconscious or affirm that what you look like is IN YOUR REALITY! and nothing can stop that, literally nothing can. and in the meantime literally just love yourself, congratulate yourself..i mean your physical glowup is here and you look absolutely stunning.

take plenty of selfies cus you’re beautiful.

go outside and hang out with friends PLEASE DO NOT PUT A HAULT ON YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR MANIFESTATIONS.

pretend you’re a celebrity on vogue doing your routine in the bathroom. literally have fun, do hairstyles you wanna try, spend a lil bit of money on skin care + makeup.

NOW..COMBINE EVERYTHING IVE JUST SAID.

okay, now combine everything and just do it, dont be scared. why are you scared? you still have plenty of time to make mistakes and try again, and get your dream life, you still have time to love yourself and gain knowledge of YOU and stuff you like. now..you dont need the “perfect life” i feel like that is being so targeted towards young people nowadays searching for that “perfect life” that builds up so much more pressure, tbh. all you need is stability. become stable and consistent in habits, relationships, your body and your mind. (if u want, u can obvi have ur perfect life hun)

“Rosette Bearing the Names and Titles of Shah Jahan”, Folio from the Shah Jahan Album, (also details)

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

"I treat myself like I would my daughter. I brush her hair, wash her laundry, tuck her in goodnight. Most importantly, I feed her. I do not punish her. I do not berate her, leave tears staining her face. I do not leave her alone. I know she deserves more. I know I deserve more."

– Michelle K., "I Know I Deserve More" (via "michellekpoems" on Tumblr)