Blue Sky Sunny Day

colored them in !! for funsies

‘home’

Is there a word for this philosophical and life changing (lowk comprehending) view at the age of 15

These new Spotify updates are ASS. WHY CANT I HEART MY FAV SONGS THEY NEED LOVE TOO

...I still wait for someone. Who on earth am I waiting for? For what sort of person? Maybe what I’m waiting for isn’t a human. I dislike humans. No, I fear them. When I meet someone and indifferently exchange such greetings as ‘How are you?’ or ‘It’s become cold,’ greetings I don’t want to make, I somehow get the unpleasant feeling that there is no such horrible liar in the world as I, and I wish I were dead. Also, the other people, too, are unduly wary of me and use diplomatic speech which tries very hard to be harmless and inoffensive, and relate their pompous, false feelings. As I listen to it all, I find their petty cautiousness deplorable, and the world becomes more and more unbearably odious. Are ‘people in the world’, I wonder, creatures that spend their whole lives greeting each other in stiff, formal patterns, being cautious about each other, then growing tired of each other? I hate meeting people.

Dazai Osamu, “Waiting”

One thing I love about Kunikida and Dazai's dynamic is Kunikida's ability to still believe in him so much he still falls for his jokes. Like you know this has happened so many times yet still he dutifully will write down Dazai's suggestion in pen no less. But Dazai is also kind enough to not let him carry on with it too long.

Imagine you're Dazai and you're 15.

You've just met this kid(also 15), who is loud and annoying and won't do a single thing you tell him to. Not only has he got a ridiculously strong ability but he has crazy control over it and he can handle himself in a fight. He's the leader of gang. The Port Mafia views him as a serious threat.

And you're forming your opinions as you're being made to team up with this brash annoying kid who keeps trampling on all your good plans with his own ideas. Clearly, he's used to doing what he wants when he wants and it grates on you.

The sooner this is over the better.

But then, it's not all bad. You don't really get to hang out with kids your age. Or kids in general, most of the people you know are adults (who also happen to be criminals). As annoying as he is, it's fun messing with each other. You go to an arcade together and make a silly bet.

He places his stakes, so you have to think of your own. Obviously, you come up with an ingenious idea. If he loses, this kid who does whatever he wants, he has to be your dog for life. It's the kind of dumb bet kids your age would make, right? You've heard that before.

You'll make him carry about some stuff with his ability and lord it over him for a while and it will be funny.

Only then his friends- members of his gang, The Sheep- walk in and he hides from them. Because of you. You are, after all, from a rival gang. You call them over just to mess with him.

And you watch the kid you got to know start to shrink. All his noise goes quiet. All his confidence dissipates. That annoyingly loud kid you've gotten used to, the one who won't do as you say, who argued back all the time, just stands there as his so-called friends chip away at him. You watch as they treat him like-

Like a dog.

Devotion is nothing like mindlessly killing oneself with hopeless sentimentality. There is an immense difference. Devotion is to live a worthwhile life forever. Humanity is immortal only by relying on this pure devotion. However, there is no need to dress up for devotion. Today, I should offer everything as I am. The plowman should show devotion as the field hand with the plow. You cannot be an impostor. You’re not allowed to postpone devotion. Every moment of life must have devotion.

Dazai Osamu, Pandora’s Box

i say let dazai protect his peace!!!