Hobie Finding A Cat In The Middle Of A Mission.

Guess who finally watched the Batman movie and right after this read a bunch of Fanfics, where they throw a young Robin/Dick Grayson at Battinson

…It’s me

 and I’m gonna do that too^^

Edit: Fanfics here

yeah

The... straight man...?

🤨🌈?

Clark: Bruce, can I ask for a reaaally tiny favor?

Bruce: What is it, Clark?

Clark: How do you feel about a new addition to the Cave? You know, since it’s mostly just you and Alfred. Alfred wouldn't mind some extra company, would he?

Bruce: Alfred enjoys his peace and quiet. Now spit it out.

Clark: Okay, okay! I found a little bat earlier today. He seemed injured and his wing was probably clipped by a car. I patched him up at home, but he needs a safe place to recover. You have plenty of... uh... "bat-friendly" facilities in the Cave, right?

Bruce: My facilities are for surveillance and crimefighting, not wildlife rehabilitation.

Clark: Come on, Bruce! Look at this little guy! [shows him a picture of a fluffy bat with a bandaged wing on top of a Batman pillow]

Bruce: ...It is rather small.

Clark: See? You won’t even notice him! He'd be right at home with the other bats. They can be bat buddies!

Bruce: My "bat buddies" are not pets, Clark. They are wild animals that I try to maintain a respectful distance from.

Clark: Pleaaase? Think about how scared this bat will be out there all alone! He’s just a baby, Bruce! And an orphan.

Bruce: ...

Clark: ...So?

Bruce: ...Fine. But if this bat crashes into my monitors, you're taking full responsibility.

Clark: Yes! Thanks, Bruce! You won't regret this. BB is a very well-behaved bat, you’ll love him. He’d make a great bat spy one day!

Bruce: A Superbat. Cute.

NAAAH, y'all can't change my mind he's silly and evil

Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...

[at a sleepover]

Damian, whispering: Jon?

Jon: Yeah?

Damian: Our planet is doomed.

Jon: Yeah, it is.

Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?

Damian: Sure.

———————

Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.

Jon: *secretly starts recording*

Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.

Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.

Margie: And who do you think you are?

Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.

Jon: Say hi to the internet!

———————

Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*

Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?

Damian: Advertising our joint channel.

Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.

Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.

Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*

Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.

———————

Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*

Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.

Damian, typing code: Good idea.

Barbara: What's that?

Jon: Our new website.

Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.

Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.

———————

Kara: What do you want to drink?

Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?

Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?

Kara: *starts typing into Google*

Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?

———————

[texting]

Jon: Dami, get on Discord.

Damian: Why?

Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.

———————

Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!

Selina: What is it?

Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.

Selina: Show me.

———————

Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.

Damian and Jon: *snicker*

Kate: What?

Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...

Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.

———————

Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*

Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.

Dick: What's a BeReal?

———————

Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.

Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.

Lois: What are you doing?

Jon: We're playing Society.

———————

Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.

Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*

Jon: Huh?

Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.

Damian: I think he meant this.

Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*

———————

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *hops over a log*

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *climbs a tree*

Damian: *recording*

Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.

Bruce: Mhm.

Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?

Jon: Parkou—

Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.

Jon: I have an app that can scan it.

Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.

(Crack?) AU in which Battinson gets transported to another universe where he gets mistaken for another “kid” Bruce took in

WHY IS EVERYONE DRAWING WALLY IN A GLUE TRAP!?