Jackofsometrades - Jack

hate when a batman artist isn't committed to bruce's lame bat schtick... give that man a bat insignia on the bottom of his boots rn

Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

heres a comic based on the peanuts scene from malcom in the middle w jason & damien

Kon: Tim is my friend, and if I love him, it’s the way I would love a brother. Jason: Tim is my brother and if he looked at me the way you look at him, I would call the police

Caught in 4k

I hate the implication that the Spider-Man in our universe is the goddamn popsicle

after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

sentence: "Kon picks up a the call and before he can even say hello, Tims voice rings out "Bernard and I got hit with one of Ivy's attacks and we need your help." with timberkon :D

Kon picks up the call and before he can even say hello, Tim's voice rings out: "Bernard and I got hit with one of Ivy's attacks and we need your help."

". . . when you say 'one of Ivy's attacks' . . ." Kon trails off doubtfully, because theoretically Tim and Bernard should not need his help for that particular situation, and Tim sighs.

"It's the stupid option, alright?" he says irritably. Kon immediately bursts into laughter. "Shut up, you don't know how much fucking cuddle pollen sucks, you bastard!"

"Cuddle pollen!" Kon wheezes past his cackling, half-collapsing against the wall to keep himself from doubling over.

"Just shut up and super-speed your TTK over here, asshole," Tim says.

"So it can cuddle you?"

"I hate you so much."