Jalakanyaka - Seine

no one cares but my make up is

pressed powder

mascara

blush

highlighter

lip tint / lipstick / lip gloss

uneasy

i guilt myself the most i am the one with the bugs that crawl around my stomach and make me cough my heart out so i dont have the strength to live as a real person who feels moderately and all my emotions are leaking over themselves and sinking me in im not sure how ill survive adulthood

my girl ghosted me. hope i die

i escape reality through my dreams and i escape nightmares through my reality so i just suffer all the time i guess

i cannot really handle birds or fish as pets anymore because i have seen the dead forms of both and they haunt me so closely and i do not need that on my conscience

i also wish humans did not care so much for intimacy because i hate to see anything around me die and i think a cat or a puppy or a lover would hurt the most and i already know i would not survive it

no nevermind i love her she took off my glasses when i fell asleep on the couch and put another blanket on me

i need to hug my mother and cry into her neck because i miss the warm embrace of her womb and this bed is too cold for me; i just wish she held me. i just want her to care for me forever, no matter how bitter and painful loving me is

Born to write silly little romance books, forced to be a psych major

I'm afraid that I will never commit suicide and will suffer for the rest of my days.

falling asleep feeling empty and hollowed out and i cant cry anymore bc i literally have zero tear ducts and my stomach feels funny and i think everyone wants me gone