Jane-of-almost-all-trades - …master Of None, Better Than Master Of One (I Hope)

anon hate

Witty response

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

queen bee

“Well, I mostly listen to Music I Like genre, specifically to its subgenre I Heard A Piece Once And It Gave Me Vibes”

I hate it when people ask me what genre of music i listen to because i genuinely have no clue. It's called Music I Like genre. The best genre out there

not even in a sexual way but i’m just craving affection because i feel like crap i just want someone to hug me for a couple of hours and tell me i’m going to be okay 

Pros and cons of being in the Discworld fandom

Pros:

Discworld is amazing

It’s like Tolkien but modern

You will chuckle so hard you’ll have to have to have little breaks to breathe

Small fandom so it’s easy to make friends & discuss things

Really awesome if you like series because there are 40 books

But there are actually 5+ series within that & several stand alone books so you don’t have to read all of them (although by the time you finish one series you might want to read all the rest)

The world is flat & sits on four elephants who are for some reason standing on a giant turtle and I don’t think anyone is really sure why

Easy to find a cool Discworld-related url

Range of female characters (so you know the Joss Whedon Marvel/Steven Moffat syndrome of all the main females being kickass, skinny, kickass, perfect in everyway, kickass & pretty much the same character? that syndrome is stomped into the ground, cut up into tiny pieces & mocked)

Canon lesbian characters

Some super cute tv adaptions with cameos from sir pterry himself

Deep shit reflecting on life the universe and everything, the rise and fall of political systems, the power of words, the prevalence of evil, the nature of humankind, human relationships and beliefs, and so, so much more

Super silly bits where you’re like ye gods pratchett did you really just make that pun

Ships ranging from teenage fluff to middle-aged fluff to damn hot af

Characters who oppose their society’s gender binary & nice friendly badass werewolf woman lends them dresses

Badass moments which make your insides do hoola hoops

The fucking puns

Really awesome large characters who either just don’t give a flying fuck or have to deal with fat shaming and prove that they are infinitely better, kinder, cleverer people than the fat shamers and often use their size to help them as they save lives/fight evil etc.

There’s this book called Monstrous Regiment and it’s basically 400 pages of fucking up sexism, xenophobia and gender binary

There’s a character named Adora Belle Dearheart and her partner (to clarify: she’s not his wife, he’s her husband) is called Moist what more do you want

A Christmas/winter festival book which will leave you warm and happy and philosophically questioning

Do you like funny footnotes?? So many funny footnotes

Characters getting over & challenging internalised prejudices & beliefs

Destruction of racial stereotypes 

Characters call even the protagonist out on their assumption of roles which fit a white supremic system 

Really good model of police/civilian relationship where the commander of police force fundamentally does not agree with the police/civilian model because “what was a policeman, if not a civilian with a uniform and a badge? once policemen stopped being civilians, the only other thing they could be was soldiers.” - or put more simply “a watchman is a civilian, you inbred streak of piss”

young teenage witches coming to terms with their own strength & power, middle-aged witches who write cooking sex books and are as kind as can be, old witches who are canonically ace/aro spectrum and never regret that for a moment and just so fucking smart

so many witches

and there are wizards, and female wizards too

Death is a character and he’s adorable and he really really likes cats and he has a granddaughter who looks after children and hits monsters with pokers and has amazing hair

Super talented fandom who do art and fics which break your heart

Very good realistic characters and protagonists which are far from perfect aka recovering alcoholic picked up out the gutter by a (6 foot) dwarf and a woman who is large and kind but perfectly capable of looking after herself and the recovering alcoholic and a garden full of swamp dragons - and the old witch? she is only a goodie because everyone else is too busy being bad - and there’s an ex con artist who spent his life ruining others’ bc he found it fun and is only now a ‘goodie’ because he’s being blackmailed - and the person in charge is a tyrant but he’s really a very reasonable one - and there’s a guy who literally just runs away from things the entire time I’m not even exaggerating that’s like the entire plot of his books he just runs away from things

Have I mentioned the puns

Cons:

There are no cons

Discworld is amazing

I will lend you the books

That’s really such a cool idea! But consider: Han does have the Force (he’s definitely not as strong as most Jedi but there’s plenty of hints in the canon that his connection is above average). And while trying to teach Rey by Luke’s notes, he slowly realises that some of this religious nonsense might actually have something to do with reality??? Suddenly something about perception of reality or stuff is starting to make sense??? And of course he hates it so much, he gets angry, he starts actively trying some of the stuff out just to prove to himself that it doesn’t work, but it works??? And now he hates it even more??? He tries to forget all this, get away from it, but once he felt it, there’s no way of unfeeling it. All these little feelings that helped him navigate through the most unnavigable areas of the galaxy turned out to be that stupid religion, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But maybe these monks just found some methods to strengthen those little absolutely-not-some-supernatural-force feelings and made up some kind of universal power just to give them an explanation, the same way any other religion starts. And since these feelings are of absolutely normal nature and are really useful to him, he might as well try out these training techniques. As long as he doesn’t let this religion thing fool him, right? Now, Rey, where were we? Ah yes, energy field. Whatever. You might as well sit down and try to find it, it’s not like we have anything else to do.

Me and my friend had some fun trying to rewrite the sequel trilogy a while ago and I think the best idea we had was Luke dies and Han and Rey get stranded on some nowhere planet where he has to haphazardly attempt to teach her years of jedi training in like a week entirely by reading out of Luke’s notes (somehow even worse than Luke’s extremely DIY training in the OT).

This isn’t at all based on the ‘Han has the force’ theory it’s literally just crabby atheist old man Han Solo and his dead best friend’s religious texts that are totally useless to him vs the world.

i LOVE that, disney needs to get you two rewriting the sequels STAT

(commission info // tip jar!)

In case anyone is having a bad night

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

Take a breath. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

It’s so weird to see constellations in real life, especially for the first time. Like, you are aware that there are these figures in the sky, you know what they look like and what they’re named, you even know legends about some of them, and then, when you finally come to a place with lower light pollution and raise your head, you see that there’s indeed this huge ass shiny figure hanging up in the sky, looking exactly like the drawing in the book, but it’s actually up there, shining at you… It’s so crazy.

Conclusion: someone at the UU ships toxic yaoi. Probably the Senior Wrangler.

(From what we know about wizards, any possible couple that might find themselves under mistletoe will inevitably be toxic)

"Tell me, Senior Wrangler, we never invited any women to the Hogswatchnight Feast, did we?"

"Of course not, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler. He looked up in the dust-covered rafters, wondering what had caught Ridcully's eye. "Good heavens, no, they'd spoil everything, I've always said so."

"So why, every year, do we hang a damn great bunch of mistletoe up there?"

"well, er... it's... well, it's... it's symbolic, Archchancellor."

(scenes from Hogfather feat. the Senior Wrangler NOT beating the allegations)