Okay Fuck This

I spent 15 minutes looking up how to pickle bodies, and now that's stuck in my search history. Incidentally, I look forward to your new bog mummy form

in death I wish to be pickled

Tags by @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

"clones" identical twins? you are describing identical twins with a birth delay

open the sepulchral septum sepulcher with a speculum.

a citrine cistern full of cyanic cysts

Hmm...

Open the (dismal/gloomy/tomb-like) (thin wall/membrane dividing two cavities or spaces, specifically pertaining to the body) (tomb/grave/burial chamber) with a (medical tool for investigating body orifices. Types include rectal, vaginal, nasal, and oral)

A (golden yellow that may be brownish or orangeish, usually referencing a yellow quartz) (waterproof container for holding liquids, usually either rainwater or toilet water) full of (either blue, or containing the poisonous and flammable gas C²N²) (closed sac-like structures, noticeably different from surrounding cells, that may be filled with semisolid material, gaseous material, or liquid material)

...

Open the gloomy, membrane-covered chamber with a medical device used to view inside your openings.

An orangey-yellow receptacle for holding liquids full of sickly, poisonous flesh sacs

Oh.

... It looks like a pretty tongue twister, but I'm pretty sure it's graphically describing the medical examination of a person with bladder cancer.

you know what is such a nice word? sepulchral. it is just such a pleasing word to pronounce. very soft and smooth. 

And the real kicker here? If Klarion had brought this up to Danny beforehand, there wouldn't be an issue. Like, Danny would have vetoed the creepy romance game, but if Klarion had mentioned wanting to play a prank on this group of teen vigilantes by bringing them into a videogame and acting as the DM, Danny might have even helped. You wanna invite some new players to Family Science Night? Sure, it'll be fun! We can get out Mario Party and Klarion can be Bowser! Hilarious!

But no. You locked people up in a horror game without their consent and without a way to evacuate in case things went wrong. WHICH THEY DID.

Danny is very disappointed in you, Klarion.

Okay, But, >.> Listen...

So MAYBE, just MAYBE, I am an incureable RoFan Isekai nerd. Shut up about it, maybe. What're you a cop? Mind your business. BUT! And hear me out...

W...What would actually? HAPPEN if Danny went into a Visual Novel? Some Otome game? You know, aside from being vague flustered by and then DEEPLY ALARMED by these walking Red Flag Fruitloops that girls are supposed to find "dreamy" or something?

Like we know how MMOs work for him. And probably OTHER open world games? But a visual novel? Would it be like the Christmas Episode? Would he hear narration? Be stuck in static "scenes"? Or would it be like a cut together "only the interesting parts" movie that he's somehow IN?

Like?? At SOME point his curiosity is gonna get the best of him. He's gonna want to know what different video games are LIKE on the inside? What's Pong like? Tetris? Mario? One of those Mama's cooking games? Etc etc.

He probably hits up a game sale. Buys a box or two. Figures he can always resell um or just give them away for free. Might even use them for parts. Who knows. And?

It's kinda cool!

It's even SCIENCE! See? Tucker's in charge of notes. Sam's in charge of hilarious commentary and pizza. Jazz is keeping them from drinking and doing ghost shit (terrible combination, we never speak of What Happened(tm) again). And the Dr's. Fenton got distracted by making fudge and debating what games should be counted towards which categories.

They've made an afternoon of it.

And NOW? They've reached the bottom of box one. It was "Survive The Villainess! My Rose for You!" Or... judging by Sam's climbing eyebrows and growing scowl? A DEEPLY unpleasant porn game about school girls.

You could not PAY him enough.

Yeah, he DOES realistically kinda want to know what happens.. if.. like? You know... sexy games... like would he? Or does he just WATCH or...? *awkward cough* But! That's NOT for Family Science Night! And DEFINITELY not THAT game, THANKS.

He'll find himself an ETHICALLY SOURCED smutty game full of consensual boning. For PRIVATE TIME. Those test results are gonna show up like MAGIC and we WILL NOT be talking about them! Got it? Good.

Now what the fuck is he look at here?

Jazz is surprisingly knowledgeable. They are not allowed to ask. They respect it. The main character "wakes up" inside the body of a "villainess" and must survive. Turn her terrible reputation around. Avoid "death flags". Preferably romance one of the hot guys?

Uuuuuuuh... you realize Danny's in a committed relationship, right?

Sam and Turker allow it. But they reserve the right to blast his taste in Fantasy Guy's. Chose carefully, for their roasting shall be BRUTAL. Luuuuuv yoooou~♡

He wants a divorce. They're not even MARRIED and he wants a divorce. You see how they mock him, Jazz? The cruelty he suffers? He's taking the Blobs and moving to Frightknight's. They always warned him about you living folks and your fast ways, but he didn't listen! *continued dramatics* *is smacked with a pillow*

But actually going IN? The weirdly, vaguely European over the top EVERYTHING? Giant jewels and ridiculous, fancy dresses? The walking red flag Romantic Archtype Leads? He wants to PUNCH half these guys! This is ABUSE! Are people OKAY!?

Like? I feel like he'd stay way, WAY longer then he needed too? Just out of morbid curiosity? W-where is this plot GOING? It's so dramatic. Why is my dress MORE dramatic now? Why is everything so... Sparkly.

It would be? AMAZING and baffling and I would pay real money to hear their live commentary. "Why not simply judo flip the crown prince off the balcony, then take over the country, sweetie?" "Solid plan, honey! He deserves it!" Beautiful. Flawless. Sage advice really. Too bad Danny can barely walk in his five million bows dress.

It's the BEST Au and I might be a genius. Or deeply sleep deprived. Meh. We'll 50/50 it, six of one, half a dozen of another.

@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

You know, I've never really thought about Mother Goose poems in years (outside of references to such), but I'd be baffled and bewildered if someone told me they'd never heard Jack & Jill, or Little Miss Muffet, or Hey Diddle Diddle.

And now that I put this into words, it sounds silly. Of course there's people who haven't heard those rhymes, at minimum anyone who didn't speak English as a child. Now I want to know if other languages/cultures have something similar. Those silly childhood tales that hardly ever get thought of, but almost everyone has heard at least once when they were little.

frick i didn't mean to pres the button it was an accident

... but since I already f'ed up, here's the current results for the patient folks waiting for the poll to end

*pokes head in* hey, I was walking by and I saw someone put up a sign that said "PARTY". Is this invite only, or can I-

all the posts are from August

... oh. Darn.

thinking about that time in math class when the teacher was explaining what a vector is and some girl went “omg just like the guy from despicable me!!”

I'm not gay, but I AM asexual. If I wasn't targeted for supporting queer people, I would be targeted for never dating (if she's not interested in men, she must be hiding an interest in women! Gasp!).

no i'm a filthy socialist, get your facts straight

all right so here's the schedule of when dracula daily will be updated, as gleaned from the archives

please share this, it was a pain in the ass

Potential angst/plot idea for the Phandom:

https://www.sciencealert.com/a-zap-from-an-electric-eel-could-give-nearby-organisms-new-genes

Electric shocks can open brief holes in a cell's membrane, allowing DNA and other things inside when the lipid bilayer would normally block them out. When it's done deliberately, it's called electroporation, and it's sometimes used for medical treatment. With a careful, low-voltage application, but still.

What if Danny's portal accident electroporated his cells with ectoplasm? What if being electrified sped up Danny's becoming a halfa? What if the shock from the portal opening was crucial not only to killing him, but also to reviving him?

What if Vlad learned that he could create a halfa by dunking a living person into ectoplasm and electrocuting them?