Here's how I fixed Thieves In Time...
Anyway, these changes are only the tip of the iceberg...
I know making Penelope the main protagonist is a bold move, but I can't see this story going any other way. Yes, this also means making her fully playable as well.
your writing does not have to be outstanding or exceptional. seriously, I read books all the time with just average writing, maybe some of the minor characters are one dimensional and cliched, maybe the dialogue is a little cheesy, maybe the plot is a little shaky, but the characters and their dire situation have hooked me. your story doesn’t have to be 5 stars to be worth writing and sharing and it will find the people who will love it.
Time to dive deeper into each of these character arcs. Namely, the lessons our four heroes will need to learn by the end of the story.
I don't need to remind you how poorly written Thieves In Time was. What a storytelling trainwreck.
If Sly 3 was about a seasoned gang of thieves pulling the heist of the century, Thieves In Time Redux is now about a less experienced member learning the ropes and building on her foundations. With, of course, a helping of betrayal mixed in.
Note that Thieves In Time Redux is an AU where Penelope gets dragged into the events of Thieves In Time as a playable character.
First up, Sly.
In canon, Sly jumped into this time travelling adventure because the "old itch" hit him like a truck. We can do better than that. Let's have his initial motivation instead be more about him missing Bentley and Murray. He can still have the itch. But no way is that going to be his number one reason for coming back. Also, when he starts thinking about Penelope now being on the main roster, it leads to him regretting how he ditched all his friends back on Kaine Island...
And when Carmelita comes back for Episode 2, let's just say things won't be pretty... I'm sure you can guess what he needs to do.
Bentley's turn. With Penelope now dragged into the adventure, our favorite turtle now gets a new character arc to navigate.
Bentley is perfectly fine with Sly and Murray risking their lives on the regular... but Penelope, his beloved girlfriend? Not so much. At the beginning of this story, she doesn't have a whole lot of experience yet. The fact that she was nearly kidnapped during the prologue doesn't help. This leads to Bentley being overprotective, but only towards her.
Long story short, Bentley will need to learn to let go of all that fear and let Penelope soar, because spoiler alert! She's actually a badass. It might even save their relationship...
Time to talk about Murray.
Instead of Murray feeling useless from out of heckin' nowhere, he... doesn't have much of an arc to follow. You'd think he'd now have nothing to do, but since Penelope is here for the ride, guess what? Murray has been seeing her as a younger sister. He even goes as far as only calling her "Sis". His focus is now on being a good older brother.
While Murray doesn't get a lot of development here, he does end up being incredibly wholesome.
Which brings us to our main protagonist, Penelope.
I'm not going to reveal her motive here. But I did change it from canon. No longer is she after "something something fame/money/power". As she spends time with our other heroes (and sees how much they care about her), she realizes that her motive isn't worth chasing after.
The lesson she needs to learn is obvious. And it's all about friendship.
I don't even know how to begin covering the ancestors and villains... That'll be for another day. And Carmelita? She's in the same boat.
Thieves In Time could have been so much better. So here. Here's one way it could have gone without ruining the characters.
I did more guards from Sly 3: The episodes of Australia, Holland and China.
I hope you like them.
Let me spell out the first act of this episode. This would consist of the first two missions.
Our three heroes tail a certain "mouse" to a place called Conquest Island. They find out she's found a new boss: Sir Raleigh, who escaped from prison a while ago. The boys don't know what their plan is, but they're going to stop it.
It's Bentley who tails this "mouse" into Raleigh's fortress, only to make a shocking discovery. He's been following a robot this entire time!
Raleigh, thinking he's already won, brings out the real Penelope to gloat to her. Turns out she's been kidnapped and impersonated.
And that impostor? Turns out it was her our heroes fought back in Medieval England. It was her who broke up with Bentley. And her who built that blimp for Le Paradox. The real Penelope is innocent.
It also turns out Raleigh has an entire Robo-Cooper Gang at the ready, and he's hoping to have everyone eventually kidnapped and turned against each other.
The villainous frog basically goes "Your name's been thoroughly ruined! Those friends of yours hate you! Why not work for me?"
Only to be told to stuff it. The real Penelope says she only wants to work for one person; that being Sly Cooper. She also hasn't forgiven her impostor for breaking Bentley's heart. She says these things knowing full well she might never be allowed back in the Cooper Gang.
Bentley, who witnessed this entire scene, orders an immediate rescue mission. When the boys find her, Penelope is terrified (thinking they're here to kill her), but she does agree to go with them after a tearful reunion.
After having Penelope reinstated, our heroes swear revenge against Raleigh for what he did to her. Bentley also takes her back.
Penelope has her life back, but... something is seriously wrong with her. And she's not talking about it.
Second act coming soon.
I want to believe Penelope was kidnapped and impersonated. She still designed the blimp. Her impostor (an evil robot) did everything else. Even her motive was fabricated.
Here's something that could happen in Sly 5.
When the boys (Sly, Bentley, and Murray) eventually find out and take her back, she's going to be a guilt-ridden mess hell-bent on destroying her impostor and her creator for breaking Bentley's heart and making everyone hate her, with several measures of self-loathing for nearly doing the same thing herself.
The reunion scene would need to happen early in the episode in which this story takes place, during the second mission, and no later. That way, the player can get used to her being fully playable for the first time ever before the boss fight.
All three boys, while elated to have Penelope back, will quickly notice that something is seriously wrong with her. They think her impostor did everything, including designing the blimp. When they ask her what's wrong, she refuses to elaborate.
Bentley is especially concerned, but incredibly proud of his reinstated girlfriend for her enduring loyalty.
Cue Penelope pulling her weight several times over during her return episode and defeating her impostor, only to be consumed by all the guilt and confess to none other than Bentley about her treachery by the end. The only thing she doesn't reveal is her motive, saying it doesn't matter because what she did was wrong.
And because I love a good, happy ending, she will be forgiven. She's already spent the entire episode proving herself in spades. As for Sly and Murray's reactions? I'll leave that for you to decide. Would Sly drive himself crazy over not knowing her motive? I think he might.
I realize she will need a very sympathetic motive for this idea to work.
YES, it's finally here! I could rattle about it's development but I did most of that in the foreword. Though I forgot to mention two details. - We included 'Original Ancestors. Don't worry there's only two of them and are an excellent and creative supplement to the Cooper bloodline in my honest opinion. They're written and illustrated in the style this zine was inspired by (the ancestral book) and we hope you enjoy them. - We also included 'Honourable Mentions' after Conner's page. I could've made a whole page just, announcing them but couldn't think of much to fill it in with SO, honourable mentions are canon characters who, in some way, shape or form assisted the Cooper family in the past. - These pages have transcripts! They're in the image description. That's all! We hope you enjoy and sharing would be appreciated! Thank you!
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penelope didnt punch anyone except for sly bc she doesnt want to be charged after she breaks their teeth
also bentley and her are sickingly in love and give eachother sickingly cute nicknames change my mind guess what you cant
I drew this for my mom as a Christmas gift since we’re both huge Bentley fans!
Here's how I've been dividing my time so far...
Intro Cutscene: %100 finished
Sly: %97 finished
Bentley: %47 finished
Penelope: %64 finished
Murray: %25 finished
Final (running into Carmelita): %35 finished
The hardest parts are overhauling Bentley's segment and writing an entirely new segment for Penelope.
I'm also pretty bad at writing action and fight scenes right now. Murray might have to wait a while.
And in hindsight, so will the part where our four heroes floor it into a time portal.
That means I'm roughly %61 done with the tutorial. Give or take a few points.