*someone, Probably Flash, Starts A Rumour That He’s Dating Spiderman*

Shuri: name one mean thing I have done or said ever

Peter: you convinced me eggs weren’t real

Scott: Look, I might not be a saint, but it’s not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Hope: Okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

I’m hoping if you play this back, it’s in celebration.

Thank you Robert Downey Jr. for 11 years of Tony Stark, Earth’s Best Defender.

me on the first day of september

The plot of literally every “Peter Parker goes on a field trip to Stark Industries” fanfic.

There was absolutely no reason Venom had to make out with Eddie to transfer back to him, he just wanted to and that’s the tea

And Eddie’s reaction??? Instantly down and super into it

“No,” Eddie scolded.

Food.

“And I’ll get you your food. Just not that.” He pointed to the garbage in front of him. Even the smell was beginning to make Eddie nauseous. “Seriously? I can get you frozen dinner.”

We don’t like it.

“Why?”

Because you don’t like it, Venom countered. Why are we going to eat something you don’t like?

“Because it’s more edible than rotten food!” Eddie exclaimed, which was a mistake, as passersby stared at him with wariness. He muttered, “I’ll get you something better. What do you feel like having?”

Dog—

“No animals,” he added.

Fine. Venom pondered. Noodles.

“Noodles?” Eddie blinked.

You are fond of noodles, are you not? There was a hint of annoyance in his tone—which was really uncalled for. 

“Okay, okay. We’ll have Chinese for dinner. Nothing frozen.”

And no soy sauce. It’s salty!

Eddie chuckled, and finally moved away from the garbage since Venom had controlled of him momentarily. Man, he was a pushover. But only for Venom.

like or credits to fllenkingdom

I know that Eddie and Venom's relationship has many fascinating complexities, but all I can think of is dumb shit like this:

Venom: "E D D I E"

Venom: "We need to watch some cat vines now, Eddie."

Venom: "Open up your computer and take us to the cat vines."

Eddie, his knuckles white as he clutches his pillow: "I have an interview at 9 AM --"

Venom: "WE WILL WATCH THE CAT VINES."

Venom: "OR WE WILL EAT AN ACTUAL CAT."

you can see tony look to his hand, expecting to be dusted next. the disappointment when he realises he gets to live is crushing me