I Am Sick And Tired Of Seeing The Rare Time That Bertholdt Is Mention On Tiktok Being Just “oh Ahahahaha

Looking more like a checklist these days. I want off this ride. 😭

I am so sick of the news referring to Donald Trump “trolling” other foreign leaders like he’s 12

Disrespecting, the word you mean is disrespecting, the president of the United States enjoys publicly disrespecting other heads of state. He’s not on XBox live saying he had sex with other player’s moms, he’s referring to the prime minister of Canada as Governor and repeatedly commenting on how he wants to conquer the guys land and make him subservient

Stop acting like he’s a little jokester next to other diplomats who are too serious like this is a 2000s romcom, he has said he’s considered taking over Greenland with military force

my GOSH I'm reading the manga rn (i jump around to random parts idfk) and im reading the warriors backstory and WHY WAS SM OF THIS LEFT OUT OF THE ANIME ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Annie: "Or what, do you want me to get close to one of the men in the family and marry into it?"

Bertholdt: "NO, YOU CANT DO THAT"

(Later)

Annie: "Plus, I don't have the mind of charm it takes to seduce a man"

Bertholdt: "THATS NOT TRUE!

Annie: "...? Thanks?"

Flippin Bertholdt the anime did you so dirty ill never forgive them

Even just like, the bit of him looking at wall Maria for the first time was absolutely tragic.

day 7: lazy morning kiss

Reiner being normal

Ok so correct me if I’m just going crazy but Falco n Gabi parallel Bertholdt and Reiner right RIGHT

Hello I am back with more headcanons

How the 104th Cadet corps smokes 🍃 and what they’re like when they’re high

Plus bonus Porco and Pieck

Eren: Has every form of Rick and Morty paraphernalia in existence. Rolling trays, Tshirts, ash trays, you name it. Unironically says that people need a higher IQ to be able to “fully grasp” the message of the show. Used to smoke indoors but Mikasa pushed him to take it outside or at least open a window. Goes fully nonverbal (for once) but also can’t keep his hands to himself if he’s alone with Mikasa.

Mikasa: Doesn’t smoke a ton but she still somehow has an incredibly high tolerance. Has a pen that she named “Penjamin” and she discreetly hits it at the aquarium/museum. When she’s at home with Eren it takes one hit before their clothes are on the floor.

Armin: Tried smoking but it always just ends up giving him a headache for some reason. Edibles are a bit better but he never seems to really “feel it”, so he prefers to just not partake because he doesn’t want to waste money. Prefers CBD gummies and has a CBD pen on him so he doesn’t feel left out during sessions. A fiend for cigs though.

Ymir: WAKE. AND. BAKE. She can out smoke ANYONE, even Connie. Zeros her bong in one hit and does NOT clean it. Has a whole dab rig and puts grape-sized globs in it just for herself. Unironically watches Jackass and Filthy Frank videos when Historia isn’t around.

Historia: Smoked once and had a panic attack. Does not smoke or partake at all anymore and instead she drinks or hits her crusty ass juul from 2018 that’s covered with faded stickers, and she uses bootleg strawberry juul pods so she feels like she’s doing something. Babysits Ymir when she goes nonverbal and they also can’t keep their hands off each other. She’s the one to clean Ymir’s bong and yells at her when she leaves it on the coffeetable.

Reiner: Can rip a bong like nobody’s business but is classy enough to keep it in a cupboard when he isn’t using it. All his bags and pockets are littered with various brands of mint-flavored dispos because he vapes in public. Gets really calm and quiet and one time when he was with Jean the two of them got way too high together and started making out (they don’t talk about it and nobody else will ever know)

Bertoldt: Surprisingly chatty when smoking. Doesn’t do anything fancy and just has a glass pipe. Taught Reiner what a sploof was so he wouldn’t get caught by his mom. Has a decent tolerance but can sometimes overdo it because he underestimates edibles. “Man this edible ain’t shit” *Ten minutes later*: “dude do you ever think about how our fingers are just bony tentacles?”

Annie: Almost exclusively bums off of other people. Offers a drag of her cig in return. Also gets chatty but not nearly as much as Bert. She’s the one to pick out the movie and she’s the last one to fall asleep. Always jumps for nature documentaries or nostalgic things like Wallace and Gromit.

Marco: Does NOT smoke and sees weed as a gateway drug. Cried when he found out Jean keeps edibles on him and said he didn’t want him to become an “addict” until Jean invited him to babysit a JSC smoke session. Now he dislikes it but tolerates it for Jean.

Sasha: Munchies go with Sasha like milk goes with cookies. Full Mukbang channel with 2 million subscribers. The big draw to the channel is SJC antics and when Niccolo decides to make gourmet food for her to absolutely destroy when high. Eats all the edibles Pieck gives her in like 3 days.

Jean: Has those 5mg Caminos on lockdown in his back pocket to the point where they’ve worn a circular imprint in the denim and he has to clarify that, no, it is neither a tin of dip, nor is it Zyn packets. He keeps the Caminos on hand because they make him more social and relaxed in public without getting too zooted. At home he has a pen but rarely uses it. Prefers 20mg brownies Pieck makes him. Does not smoke with Reiner anymore. (He really enjoyed himself and is scared of the implications)

Connie: spent $600 on a gravity bong because he saw Seth Rogen talk about it. Has a YouTube channel under the name Con-man420 and the videos have titles like “REVIEWING SUPER LEMON HAZExGRANDADDY PURP HYBRID IN 4K HD”. Impossible to tell if he’s high or sober because you’re not ever entirely sure you’ve SEEN him fully sober.

Pieck: Makes edibles. Knows how to make canna-butter and runs a whole under-the-table edible business. Once it was legalized in her state she had a panic attack. When she’s high it’s like her brain completely shuts off and she has to do the little bicep hug with Jean or Porco if they’re out in public so she doesn’t get left behind. Falls asleep every time. Very cuddly and gets handsy depending on who she’s with.

Porco: Smokes out of a pipe shaped like an old-fashioned tobacco pipe. Pieck got it for him as a joke but he loves it. Can do smoke tricks with his pen. Plays Tame Impala and Glass Animals on vinyl and melts into the couch like that one DARE ad