If You Hold Me Without Hurting Me, You'll Be The First Whoever Did.

You were right in front of me all along

How could I miss such a pretty face?

I'm sorry it took so long to look your way

Maybe you just weren't meant for me

I'm sorry my heart belongs to the moon

I'm waiting patiently for him

I'll pray till my knees are bruised

Till my eyes can no longer cry

Till my eyes are dry

Till my love comes to me

Till my heart is no longer in pain

Till my prayers are filled with love and joy

Till my fleeting mind can stay still and feel at home

Till my body no longer rocks me to sleep

Till my heart no longer cries me to sleep

When will you come to me?

I love you so much already it hurts

Please make the pain go away

I need you to come get me out right now

I need you to come wrap me up in your love now

I want to leave the feelings of reckless and abandoned

Tragic yet magic

My heart is a muscle but it’s not getting stronger

I want to wake up one day without my heart sinking to my feet

Instead with you in my arms

With your laugh tickling my brain

With each breath you take I steal a kiss

With each exhale in my lungs

Till I'm filled with every fibre of your being

I want you to devour me

I want to devour you

Subtle yet achingly obvious

My love for you is endless

I cried again tonight. I thought I could get through the night but my tears kept on falling. I've lost count. I don't know why I'm like this. Why do you make me like this? Can't you just stay as a fond memory and let me live? Even so, I'll always be yours no matter how many times I try to block you out. I always come back here to write about you.

My la verità.

Cries in degradation you were my separation I don’t know were to go from here.

A new year begins yet nothing has ended.

A new year begins and I’m still in love with you.

It’s beginning to feel like deja vu.

I’m still here were you left me waiting for you to come get me.

Untouched ready for you to devour me.

Undoubtedly I’ll surrender to your touch.

Words just aren’t enough I need to melt in your embrace and never leave your place.

I’m not scared of loving you; I’m just scared of losing you.

I pierce my tongue through the night

Muffling my tears with my palm firm on my lips

Desperate to be kissed

My racing heart beating out of my chest

It’s starting all over again

I try to be quiet

Excuse myself to the bathroom

Not yet alone the walls echo

I’m tired

Staring blankly at the tiled walls

I slumber to the floor in defeat

I’m inpatient

But I believe one day you’ll come to me

And I’ll come to you

But for now I’ll pray for you

My Muse

Somehow, I still love you more.

Crashing parties but all I’m crashing is my soul

I lie to myself and say that I’m doing fine but in reality, I’d kill myself to hold you one more time

Where did all the time go?

Morning to night I'm locked up in my room far from life

I feel so alone out here

I feel so alone out here

Without you

But there’s no way to reach you

So I go back to our home that never was

I still call you home

Cause you were the only one I could tell I hurt

You were the only one that could put me to sleep like a baby

You made me feel so safe

I've never felt such a level of love before

More than I ever got from those I call family

Am I no good?

Do I not deserve your love?

Then why can't you be mine cause I'll be yours till the end of time and thereafter

Can I be yours?

Please tell me I'm yours

I'm tired

Lonely

In love

Drunk in my love

For you, my love.

Filled with rage

I have an upset stomach and little girls despondent laughter sounds louder on stage

Choke me just enough for me to breathe so I stay engaged

Ticking Tok on the clock, you're an ethereal timepiece in this age

Turn me over like a page do me like that when you’re offstage

While your fans fight to be front row in the barricade

I know they’d kill for this exchange

I'm off the rails some may call me deranged but I'm just off my meds

Living a teenage rampage drugged with your love

Will we last or be another short story?

You cry, outraged at the thought of me leaving estranged, so you keep me in range

Afraid I'll let go when the feeling subsides

I left my shoes in the street so you could carry me

Don't worry, darling, you have my heart in a cage

You're the lighthouse in the middle of this enraged storm

Filled with love

@rbhvleo // roberto ferri // mothering by ainslie hogarth // rainer maria rilke // ? // planet of love by richard siken // a self portrait in letters by anne sexton // indian summer by ron hicks