Dazai: I Dare You To Marry Me.

reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from with a hollow cardboard tube

Messed Up Idea: Semi-Good reveal where Danny's parents fully accept and love him, but they go into overprotective mode when the GIW get a lucky shot in one day. Terrified of their precious son's end they move out to Gotham where he can get plenty of ecto but the GIW are less likely to find him.

Unfortunately the best way to keep him from being found is to keep him in a special room they built to keep his ecto-signature contained and untraceable. Danny hates this because his parents won't let him out of that room anymore! It's a gilded cage filled with soft comforts and things he loves, but his sister and friends aren't there and he can't feel the wind or see the sky. Only his parents come to see him, but he knows he should be grateful they love him so much. This is the most attention they've ever given him.

But sometimes Danny is Bad and he slips away to haunt the rooftops away from his new home. He knows that it's wrong and he's endangering himself and his parents but he misses Jazz in Stanford and his friends back in Amity and the stars just above the burning smog. Sometimes he just spends lonely nights staring out at the city lights before he needs to return to that loving prison. But maybe someone new can keep him company on those lonely nights until at last he can be free again.

I just watched a lady get five jars of alfredo sauce and leave the pasta isle with just the five jars and two pasta boxes, not even big boxes, just two small pasta boxes.

Women scientists made up 25% of the Pluto fly-by New Horizon team. Make sure you share this, because erasing women’s achievements in science and history is a tradition. Happens every day.

. http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/News-Center/News-Article.php?page=20150712

Some dcmk fic recs

(mostly gen or canon pairings)

The Little Detective by HikariAA: aka the better version of detective conan (and mk) despite this being an AU where Shinichi and Conan are brothers (over 1.2 MILLION words and still getting updates, currently around episode 800)

Shenanigans in Beika by SadisticWoof: chatfic, hilarious and very addictive (150k)

The Case of The Hidden Epidemic by MirrorandImage: a classic from 2009, a really good case fic with identity reveal (complete, 90k)

Dualisms by sylph_feather: Conan is fae. He's deeply in denial about it (86k)

When Pandora's Box Is Opened by Mangaluva: also a classic from 2009, detco + mk ending written pre Bourbon which is pretty neat (complete, 240k)

Red Tinted Night by PhantomWriter1412: Kaito becomes Pandora's vessel (80k)

Secrets in Indigo by Sinnatious: Kaito discovers he already is Pandora (complete, 24k)

SHOCKING- the KID Killer's true identity revealed! by glowingGalaxies: title is self-explanatory (complete, 28k)

Facing Nightmares by PaintInTheBrain: Kid let's himself get caught bc his loved ones are being threatened (complete, 55k)

Magic User's Club by Kyogre: Kaito discovers, much to his chagrin, that he can use real magic (complete, 107k)

The 25-Year Case by glowingGalaxies: Conan notices that the timeline doesn't make any sense (complete, 15k)

All Night Gang by deductionfreak: mostly slice of life series where Ran and Kazuha find out Conan's identity (complete, 48k)

more recs under the cut:

Ditto by schrodingers__cat: case fic where a magic consultant is needed (complete, 22k)

Shark Meets Dolphin by tearlessNevermore: identity reveal but with Ran and Ai, akai siblings are also there (complete, 42k)

Case Disclosed by Bacardi_Luna: Characters watching the show fic, not very far along but really well written (67k)

For Love Of Aoko by Lisa_Telramor: ekoda polycule, my beloved (complete, 13k)

True Colours by Misty_Reeyus: series, ekoda polycule with actual magic kaito plot development (complete, 53k)

Truths and Consequences by TheYsabet: series, if Shinichi can't come to Ran, Ran is going to come to him (about 1 million words and still ongoing)

Double Dose by The_Faceless_Lich: Ran gets shrunk too (very slow paced but getting updates fairly frequently, 320k)

strung along by brawltogethernow: scenes from a red string of fate AU (15k)

O Sharon, Sharon, wherefore art thou Vermouth? by Virgola: kir/vermouth, technically part 2 of a series (complete, 65k)

How to Be a Double Agent 101 by scratchienails: NOC shenanigans, fucking hilarious (13k, desperately hoping for the final chapter, @scritch-scratches please please i'm begging you)

One for sorrow two for joy by Dissenter: Kaito and Aoko are interchangeable, codependent, and both Kid (complete, 40k)

The Game of Life (Moon Magician in the Night) by OnceABlueMoon: inspired by the one above but with the parents in a polycule (complete, 5k)

Once and For All by Misty_Reeyus: post-canon, Detective Boys find out about Shinichi and Ai (complete, 2k)

Final decision by Angelle_wings: Ai's decision about taking the antidote (complete, 3k)

meetings at poirot by Oxalisalis: akam try not to kill each other, very evocative language, fucking hilarious (complete, 5k)

Also, shoutout to @tangentiallly for contributing around 2.5% of english detective conan fanfics on ao3, completely shaping my view on the BO

And some stuff from ffn:

Sgamer82 for Ai-centric oneshots

What was Right is Wrong: Kaiao, complete, 17k

Confused Partridge: Ekoda gang, complete, 7k

Mr Barista: Kaito & Bourbon, complete, 7k

Two-faced, Half-faced: Kaito & Subaru, complete, 5k

Reverse: Aoko-centric, 36k

Cherry Red Flight: SIOC in the akai family, 47k

"I want to be a dragon."

Fuck the police? Yes please

please look at him :3

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

GUH

I HATE IT. I HATE IT SO MUCH. IT COULD BE SO GOOD BUT ITS LEANING TOO FAR INTO STEREOTYPES AND TRYING TOO HARD TO MAKE THE CHARACTERS “ZANEY” AND “ADULT” WITH NOTICEABLY FORCED MOMENTS, BUT IT COULD BE SO GOOD. IT COULD BE SUCH A GENUINELY WONDERFUL DEPICTION OF POLYAMORY AND FINDING WAYS TO NOT LET YOUR TRAUMA HOLD YOU BACK EVEN WHEN IT TRIES TO COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU, OF THE ABUSE AND HOMOPHOBIA QUEER PEOPLE OFTENTIMES FACE FIRST IN THEIR OWN HOME. ITS TRYING TOO HARD TO BE THE ADULT VERSION OF THE 12+ SHOW ITS EMULATING, AND I CAN UNDERSTAND WHERE THE WANT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMES FROM CONSIDERING I MYSELF NOTICE HOW IT FEELS LIKE THE ORIGINAL GOT MORE AND MORE BABY SENSORY BRAIN-ROT AS WE ALL GREW YP AND MATURED, LIKE IT WAS GOING BACKWARD WHILE WE ALL MOVED FORWARDS, PROGRESSING IN REVERSE AND ALL THAT, BUT ITS LEANING TOO FAR INTO IT. ITS CRAPPY AND CRINGY AND NOT IN THE CRONGE BUT FREE WAY BUT ALSO YES IN THE CRINGE BUT FREE WAY AS IN IT COULD BE CRINGE BUT FREE AND GOOD BUT IT ISNT BECAUSE OF HOW HARD THEIR PUSHING, AND HOLY SHIT IS THIS HOW SHEN YUAN FELT ABOUT PIDW CAUSE DAMN AM I ABOUT TO FUCKING RIOT.

SCORPIO IS LEANING WAY TOO HARD INTO THE SOFT BUT FIRM VOCAL TONES TROPE, LIKE THE WOLF THAT FEARS THE EFFECTS OF ITS OWN BITE AND THUS PULLS ITS TEETH, AND THAT COULD BE WONDERFUL IF THEY WERENT SO SET ON IT BEING BLACK AND WHITE, THEY CONSTANTLY EITHER MAKE HIM COMEDIC BUT SILENT OR TRAUMATIZED BUT SILENT, AND THE SWITCH UPS ARE VERY JARRING- PLUS HIS MOMS VOCAL INFLECTIONS, DESIGN, AND GENERAL BEHAVIOR MAKE HER FEEL LESS LIKE THE MANIPULATIVE NARCISSISTIC ANTAGONIST SHE SHOULD BE AND MORE LIKE A VILLAIN ONLY PUT IN TO EITHER BE THE EVIL VERSION OF HER COUNTERPART IN THE ORIGINAL SHOW OR A PRETTY OLDER LATINA LADY TO DRAW IN VIEWS.

SCORPIOS BEST FRIEND WHOS NAME I CANNOT CURRENTLY REMEMBER WHO IS POSSIBLY THE SECOND ML IS VERY SWEET BUT THEY LEAN TOO FAR INTO MAKING HIM THE DUMBASS WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT FOOD, WHICH COULD BE GOOD IF HE AT LEAST HAD SOME LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL OR SITUATIONAL AWARENESS, BUT BOTH HE AND SCORPIO ARE INCREDIBLY PUSHY, CONSTANTLY BREAKING THEIR WAY THROUGH OTHERS BOUNDARIES AND PUSHING INTO THE FIRST ML’S SPACE. 1ST ML CLEARLY STATES A MULTITUDE OF TIMES THAT HES CREEPED OUT, UNCOMFORTABLE, AND THAT HE WANTS THEM TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, AND THEY NEVER DO. THE WORST PART IS, THIS WORKS FOR THEM. 1ST ML IS THE CLASSIC TSUNDERE CHARACTER-TYPE AND HE APPARENTLY SECRETLY LIKES THEM PUSHING PAST HIS BOUNDARIES WITH ZERO REGARD FOR THE WORDS HE SAYS TO THEM WHICH IS AN INACCURATE DEPICTION OF ACTUAL SOCIAL SITUATIONS AND WILL, WETHER INTENDED TO OR NOT, TEACH YOUNGER VIEWERS (FINDING IT BY ACCIDENT BECAUSE IT LOOKS VERY SIMILAR TO APHMAU VIDEOS) THE ABSOLUTE WRONGEST INTERPRETATION OF CONSENT, THIS WILL TEACH KIDS THAT PEOPLE WILL LIKE IT IF YOU NEVER STOP PUSHING PAST THEIR BOUNDARIES.

ITS FUCKED. ITS ALL FUCKED. AND THE PACING IS SO RUSHED TOO, SECOND EPISODE AND THEIR ATILL FRESHLY MET NEIGHBORS ON THE SECOND DAY OF INTERACTING AND 1ST ML IS ‘SUBCONSCIOUSLY’ THROWING AROUND WORDS LIKE LOVE AND LIKE (romantic sense of like). ITS HORRIFIC. IM NOT ASKING FOR A SLOWBURN BUT DAMN GIRLIE IT AINT A SPEED ROUND YOU CAN SETTLE INTO IT GENTLY CANT YA? ITS SO INCREDIBLY UNHEALTHY THE WAY THEY ALL THREE IMMEDIATELY ATTACH THEMSELVES TO EACHOTHER, AND THE PLOT IS BERY CLEARLY TRYING TO PUSH 2ND ML INTO THE ROMANCE ITS DEVELOPING BUT IT STARTED TOO FAR INTO THE STRICTLY SUPPORTIVE BESTIE FOR IT TO NOT FEEL EVEN MORE UNNATURAL.

IF THEY WOULD JUST SLOW DOWN THE PACING TO SOMETHING GENTLER AND TINE DOWN THE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE THEIR CHARACTERS CONSTANTLY EITHER ZANEY AND RELATABLE OR ADULT AND SHIT THEN IT WOULD BE SO GOOD- THEY JUST NEED TO ACTUALLY FLESH OUT THEIR CHARACTERS AND THEIR FUCKING **DIALOGUE** ISTG ITS SO STILTED THE DIALAUGE MAKES ME WANNA CRY SOMETIMES BUT THEN OTHER TIMES ITS SUPER FUNNY AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY EVEN MORE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO GOOD IF ANYONE ACTUALLY BETA READ THIS HORRIFIC WATTPAD FANFIC OF A YOUTUBE SERIES.