I Am Literally. This Close. THIS. Close. To. Fucking. Cry. And Shout.

oh yes

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARRR 🎆🎉🧧🫶🐰

sound_of_coups ig update 092424

He’s so fine that he’s making me want to be a better person 😩

i know I’m not someone who shares my sexuality on here but I need help.

I really need some supportive comments and some help.

Please follow me and do help me.

I really need help because I've been struggling and I feel like I should seek out now.

Warning: this is kind of a let out but a rant so please help me and don’t be rude.

And I'm still new to tumblr so I'm sorry for my post history.

I'm trying my best here I can't try much and I'm trying.

I'm a kpop fan page on here so please help me.

I can’t tell if im a lesbian or bi.

I can’t seem to help staring at girls nowadays and I keep brushing off my feelings.

Today I saw this girl and she's so cute.

I so badly wanted to say hello but I was scared. In my mind, I wanted to badly be her friend. Like so badly. I kept looking at her until one point someone called my name and since I wasn't paying attention, they touched me so when they did, I got scared. My heart jumped out my chest so I snapped out of the thoughts quickly. But looking at her is just a dream like I wanted to so badly say hi but I couldn't. I had no time.

I don't feel any interest in men. I was walking around men lately and I didn't find anything interesting as I used to when I was younger. Nowadays when a guy would talk to me, I would get excited but I wouldn't find myself to date him. I was nervous but no butterflies in my stomach.

I've been wanting to kiss my friend ever since we first met ( a week ago ) and now I'm just like, every time we talk, I just always thought of kissing her.

I sometimes feel bad and deal with negative thoughts with this whole thing and sexuality because I can't tell if this is real or just a lie.

I feel like I'm still straight or I'm lying.

I really wish I could be together with a man but now I can't and I feel bad because I feel like I shouldn't be this way. I really wish I could be with men as what my family are expecting but now I can't.

Sometimes I'll be like "men <3" as I used to do when I was growing up and younger (In reality still but not anymore now?) but now I'm like "girls so pretty" , "I wanna be her partner"

I can't tell if im a lesbian who's experiencing comphet (which is valid) or a bisexual struggling.

I just wanna be with a girl but at the same time I'm scared.

+ I would always stare at a girl's butt or her upper part and then look away so she or anybody doesn't notice.

One time I stared at her for about an hour at her upper part.

I dont know what was there satisfying. But I dont know how to explain my facial expressions when it happened.

I would make a face like my eyes widening and then my mouth opening, then I would be like "oh my god.. her .. ahhh" under my breath in this whispering voice or like mouthing (covering my mouth though or something) then be focused on it.

Or look at her butt and be like "oh wow, that's.." like I can't help but stare there.

When I spoke to her, my fingers weakened and she understood that I was nervous.

When she hugged me I immediately panicked (in my mind) because I was so close to her upper body.

I just.. it's getting too much.

I don't know what I am..

Lesbian experiencing comphet or a bisexual with a lean ???

I feel like a bi with a leaning but this attraction is something else.

I just wanna touch her. No one understands me. So I need help with this if you don’t mind ?

Anybody who's bi or lesbian, please reply.

I can't explain properly but I tried.

Please leave a comment and help me out.

I'm lost.

today at school, i had some “friends” and one friend went “who’s ready for pride month?” and they were all cheering in the classroom and then this one friend who sat next to me (found out she makes fun of me sometimes) said so much horrible things about trans people and the lgbtq community (mostly the trans and non binary community including genderfluid)

they started saying they hate trans people bc we “take the piss” and they never understand why we go by he/they and she/they and that and they invalidated neopronouns too saying “wtf are neopronouns? some neopronouns users actually have pronouns like meow/meow, xe/xem, etc” like why would i wanna call you that like that’s so stupid (laughs)” and they started talking about this teacher who got sacked bc he misgendered a student who was trans and trial for 3 days and now they went “oH nO OfFENsE but what is genderfluid? what is that? bc why am i a man the next day, a female today, a trans next day, and demi fucking the next week like that’s so confusing and you can’t change genders like that so they need to stop that HAHAHAHHAA” and the “why do you guys use he/they pronouns? and she/they and whatever? like you can’t use more than one pronoun and gender equals pronouns like stop being stupid” LIKE I FELT SO INVALIDATED OMFG

“and i never understand the non binary mfs who use more than one pronouns or say their gender is this that like THERES ONLY 2 GENDERS. female and male. nothing else???”

and they just said so much more like oh my god (message me if you wanna hear the rest) and i just hate them for it. I BROUGHT MY PRIDE FLAG for celebration in my bag and thank god i never brought it our bc yall wouldve invalidated me.

i hate people. lgbtq ppl are extremely valid. yall cishets and straights NEED TO SHUT UP.

THANK YOU NINTENDO BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE W SONIA SHES SO CUTE ???

Everyone say thank you Nintendo for giving Hyrule the hottest founders

50000 likes!

YESSSSSS I HIT THAT MILSTONE AYYYEEEEE

the v app just shut down today #kpop

whisper comeback is tomorrow y’all BE PREPARED TO SURVIVE

#WHISPERTHEBOYZ

oh wow i was literally UNAWARE my results came back 2-3 days ago and I was not aware of it

curiously i decided to go check my dna to see if it came back and it DID i just never knew

coincidentally i mentioned that my great grandfather from my mom's side was a jewish man from germany and apparently they picked it up???? my 4-5-6-7-to 12 generations were jewish. but more jews from poland, belarus, Ukrainian, Lithuania, romania, Moldova and hungary. I KNEW i was jewish but then that would mean I have to convert to be considered jewish. it came from both grandparents both maternal and paternal so thats good

crazy realisation, COINCIDENTALLY on shabbat (on Saterday it was still shabbat) i got my results and seeing the jewish was shocking

and most of my dna came from my dad because he was african. he even had capr Verde walking there like theres so much of it and i just found it all shocking. bro then a huge block of British and irish popped up in there, and its ofc connected since i was BORN in britain. ties w scotland. then I got ALL scandinavian dna fully, danish swedish finnish iceland and norwegian was there on MY TEST. like do u know how INSANE that is?

and European, I got italian, greek, Spanish & Portuguese, Bulgarian, romanian, Moldovan, and a few more.

then I had unassigned. my mom is arab ofc as u guys know but this time more uncovered. she had iraqi Azerbaijani Turkish Iran on her side including Georgia yemen and a strong NORTH AFRICAN jews on the side. she also said yemeni ties and Egyptian.

suprisingly, chinese showed up on my test, viet, thai khmer indonesian and myanmar, malaysian, Japanese & more. then Russian as well.

but then. I got south asian dna from my MOM because where she is from has a strong south asian population, so I got bhutanese (from bhutan), indian, pakistani, sri lankan, Nepali, and 3 more. EVEN KAZAHSTAN LMFAOOOO

and lastly, just thought my mom was just the country she was and my dad was from the caribbean and that was it. no. few more popped up. im apparently barbadian, trinidad, descendant of the cayman islands afro population, AFRO LATINA (afro cuban??? that was shocked me more), and tbh it was fun to know everything but I was just so shocked.

it made me laugh how I stopped checking my dna and then randomly, decided to check it again and it came on jewish passover JUST to be suprised w jewish ancestry from mh ancestors on shabbat (shabbat is Friday evening to saturday evening but its passover so it may be a clash??? so yeah don't attack me.)

im just super happy rn because now I can continue learning about new traditions cultures more food to try more countries to visit, music etc

thank god im multiracial and im thankful EVERYDAY im mixed

life is so good right now

been dying to know the sides of my moms family but I know too much of my moms side and still want to know more, so we agreed to the 23andme kit and now we r waiting for the results which takes 5-6 weeks

but once of my uncles, are updating us about digging our family tree and right now, he is saying there is too many mixes in my dads family

bro said that. MY DADS side. has senegalese. swiss. italian. spanish. sweden.

thats the most recent we found and my dad sadly died so I couldnt get to ask him anything.

but being italian and spanish is shocking because he did make me visit his spanish side. my mom said EVERY time she is in that mfing house she IS ALWAYS seeing a flag that has red white and green. she didnt know what that was. but like. ITS THE WAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT VISITING SWITZERLAND AND WANTED TO LIVE THERE in the FUTURE and then boom, a gene has been found.

i love being mixed