Imagine

going to work 😌

Eido: Guardian, Welcome! I need your Help for something-

Guardian: For you, anything.

Eido, blinks: So you will go and collect things to possibly help my father?

Guardian: Yeah, That's what I said.

Ghost: They don't have a romantic soul.

Eido: I have seen the posts on intaguardian saying otherwise.

Guardian: Oh, I mean it when I say things. No one can see my face under this mask and tone gets garbled. Also where is your father?

Titles of the Young Wolf :

The Hivebane, Crotas End, God Slayer, King Slayer, The Slayer of Oryx, Iron Lord and Saladins Young Wolf, Hero of the Red War, Protector of the Last City, The Chosen One, The Shadow of Earth, The Shadow of Calus, Avenger of Cayde 6, Spawn Killer, Rivens Bane, Queens Guard, Champion of Eris Morn, The Wish Keeper. Slayer of the Final Shape and Scourge of the Witness. Also : Neon Nerd, Meatbag, (from immaru) Slayer of: too many to put down on one post

Crippled the House of Devils by killing Riksis, Devil Archon and destroying Sepiks Prime Cleansed the Black Garden of Darkness by destroying the Black Heart Conqueror of the Vault of Glass and destroyer of Atheon, Time's Conflux Slayer of Crota, Son of Oryx in vengeance of the First Crota Fireteam and The Great Disaster Executioner of Skolas, Kell of Kells Usurper and Kingslayer of Oryx, the Taken King Destroyer of SIVA and Aksis, Archon Prime First of a new generation of Iron Lords Savior of the Red War and slayer of Dominus Ghaul Favored champion of Emperor Calus; Defended the Leviathan against Argos, Val Ca'uor, and Gahlran Destroyed Panoptes, Infinite Mind and reconciled the City with the exiled Osiris Slayer of Xol, Will of the Thousands in defense of the Warmind Avenged Cayde-6 by killing Uldren Sov and the Scorned Barons Slayer of Riven of a Thousand Voices and protector of the Dreaming City Reclaimant of the Black Armory Forges Thwarted an invasion of the Sol Divisive Vex and defeated the Consecrated Mind, Sanctified Mind, and Undying Mind Saved Saint-14 from his fated death by the Vex Mastered Stasis and defeated Eramis, Kell of Darkness Conqueror of the Deep Stone Crypt and slayer of Taniks, the Scarred Killed the High Celebrant of Xivu Arath and stopped an army of Wrathborn Chosen Vanguard champion and victor over Ignovun, Chosen of Caiatl Stopped the Endless Night and destroyed Quria, Blade Transform Aided Queen Mara Sov in rescuing the lost Techeuns and exorcising the Witch Queen’s worm Defeated Savathûn, the Witch Queen and the Lucent Brood Disciple Slayer of Rhulk, Calus, and Nezarec Mastered Strand and became savior of Neomuna Briefly tithed to the Hive God of Vengeance Eris Morn and slayed Leviathan-Eater, Bane of the Ammonites Protector of Riven’s lost clutch of Ahamkara whims as Taranis’s Wish-Keeper Became legend by destroying the Witness and ending the war of Light and Darkness eons in the making

FINALLY got the best line in Excision. Cayde sounds so shocked and indignant XD

I'm sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells "IT'S DA FREAKIN' BAT!" and I will accept nothing else.

Guardian, pulling out the checklist: okay, so... ah gross.

Ghost: What? *zooms over to their shoulder and looks over* Ew...

Eido: Is there something that is the matter, Baron?

Guardian: Clovis's area?

Eido: Oh yes! I have detected som- *insert nerding out*

Guardian: *cringing* still there?

Ghost: He sometimes hijackes the radio frequencies and bombards us with useless facts about how great he precieves himself.

Eido: Oh? I have not received any, and Spider has not reported any issues with his detection squads...

Guardian: Sonofa BITCH

Variks: Language.

Eido: That was english.

I find the idea of all the Choco Cookies being related/siblings funny solely because of Choco Ball Cookie, and the idea of him being like “screw you dad I’m gonna play soccer”

can the gang solve the mysterious case of “The Headless Hunter” ? 🎃 @d2artevents