There’s Like 12 Different Kinds Of Tension In This Image.

i mean this in an entirely platonic, slightly powerhungry way, but i love when people call me the friendly "boss." like "you got is boss" or "whatever ya say, boss." it's so fun. like we're in the worlds shittiest cartoon mafia

A friend proposed to play Destiny 2 and we started to play it. I guess it's a normal encounter in a game that has emotes. I'm awkward but I like to mentally connect with people and doing silly things together

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

I often see people worrying about Piccolo living a boring life up there on the Lookout ...but how could life be boring when you're three people in one body and you can sing the whole The Plagues all by yourself

and you even have a GOD with you and he can happily sing about burning down your cattle and your sheep and your oxen and your whole world while you and your buddy shout THUS SAITH THE LORD

and Dende, being one person in one body, sadly doesn't share the enthusiasm and just suffers in silence

We also figured out—the hard way—that the ancients probably cut each layer of linen to the proper shape before gluing them together. For our first linothorax, we glued together 15 layers of linen to form a one centimeter-thick slab, and then tried to cut out the required shape. Large shears were defeated; bolt cutters failed. The only way we were ultimately able to cut the laminated linen slab was with an electric saw equipped with a blade for cutting metal. At least this confirmed our suspicion that linen armor would have been extremely tough. We also found out that linen stiffened with rabbit glue strikes dogs as in irresistibly tasty rabbit-flavored chew toy, and that our Labrador retriever should not be left alone with our research project.

-------The Storm Before------

2/?

Super cute fluff, New Year's kiss & aftermath - hehehe. Kintsugi loves Thunderstorms.

December 31st, 1999: 10.00: Cycle 1

Under the rising sun, beneath fuzzy covers. Synchronized breathing, a warm embrace and sweet dreams take form of golden threads around two lovers. Amir stirs slightly as Kintsugi's shallow breaths warm his chest. Her dreams dancing in his mind. “She really thinks I'm that amazing huh?” He thought to himself as he groggily cupped her cheek, nuzzling her face softly, then pecking her forehead. He slowly booted up, stretching as he quietly started the day. He'd plop himself down on the old Duviri chair she placed in front of the desk, checking on the Pom-2 PC, typing away at the groups dms. His attention is then drawn to the looming clouds outside, distantly flashing the sun barely peeking over the mountains creating a golden pink sky. “Thunderstorms…? This time of year..?” Gasping as another flash from Kintsugi’s dream invades his mind.

A cloaked armored figure holding up a lightning rod on a mountain, lightning drawn, flashing upon the figure as the dream panned towards her visage, utter joy and awe spread upon her face as the lightning struck the figure.

He shot awake, almost falling out of the chair he was leaning against, Amir locking eyes on her sleeping figure, smiling, then whispering. “I have an idea… but I'll need you to stay asleep a little longer…” he nuzzled her sleeping head, kissing it gently, placing the floof of himself next too her. He'd jog down the stairs from the backroom, taking his meds in the newly installed bathroom smiling to himself in the mirror, before quickly slapping both of his cheeks to wake himself up, he finished his morning routine, waving his hand in front of the void door and to his surprise it opened! Her power's really are affecting him in ways he couldn't fathom.

---

Kintsugi stirred from her sleep, smiling as her dreams were pleasant for once. She stretched, noticing Amir wasn't with her and slightly panicked, but the Floof of him placed on the pillow where he rested told her he was doing something important and would return soon. She sighed as Kalymos purred, leaping gently on the bed, letting her pet her. “Okay, okay… it's time to feed you…” a happy meow crows from Kalymos, letting Kintsugi rise up and out of bed.

After feeding Kalymos, she allowed herself a quick shower in the newly installed bathroom she's constructed. She huffed a sigh of relief, the water was warm, letting all worries dissapear, a noise caught her attention though, the void door opened again. “Honey I'm baaack!! I got you a raincoat!! I'm taking you somewhere special!” she'd quickly shut off the water, drying herself off with a towel.

“Schmoopy! I was just taking a shower. Give me a moment-” Amir without hesitation popped by the bathroom door, catching a glimpse of her body. Her body, still glistening with water, wiping her face she pulled the towel from her face and her gaze immediately met with Amirs. “A-ah- Amir I'm not-” the next moment he was pulling her hips closer, drinking in her vulnerable body, gently caressing her thighs. “Ooooh Babycakes, do I have a day planned for us~… Sorry it's just… you are sooo beautiful.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, raising a raincoat and waterproof jeans to her chest. “Trust me sweetheart… you'll need these where i'm taking you!~” Kintsugi chuckles, playfully pushing him out of the bathroom. “Let me get finished then! You daftie punk!” Their laughter filled the room as the dimmed rays of morning sunshine lightened the room.

---

She left Höllvania with him, strutting by his side, her arm locked with his. Her raincoat was loose on her, but perhaps that was for the best. Jeans were baggy but in all honesty? She didn't mind, she was warm. Raindrops started pattering around them. The sound was so soothing, a sudden loud boom made her jump a little bit, it clicked then, what his intentions are. “Amir…? Is this a date?~” He smiled softly, lifting her up on his back, wrapping her arms around his neck, she'd nuzzle into the crevasse of his neck. “We're going to the tallest point I can get too that church building over there!" He pointed to an elevated Cathedral north of Höllvania. "Let me show you that I, the Master of Storms, can make this date a spectacle~” She gasped, before chuckling. “Showing off are you? I'll witness with bated breath!” She'd lean back a bif, left arm dramatically posed on her forehead, pretending to faint as he began running. Both of them, laughing, nuzzling and cracking quips at each other all the way to the top of the cathedral.

---

“Lo and behold! It is I! Amir Beckett GOD OF THUNDER holding up his very sexy self to the sky! Attracting all kinds of buzz and static!” His hair stood up as Kintsugi gleefully giggled, nodding her head. This was the happiest Amir has seen her. A bolt of lightning suddenly struck him, he jolted, tensing up before launching the bolt down at some unsuspecting Techrot. “Oh my God, you can cast lightning?!?” She cooed sarcastically. He heartily laughed like some cheesy comic thunder god. “I, Amir! The God of Thunder, smiting foes so Mon Cheri can walk a safe path with I!” he bowed as more static shrouded him. Another bolt of lightning struck him, and casted this time to some unsuspecting Scaldra, the rain soaking hima at this point, while her warm laughter encouraged him to strike poses, casting lighting down on more unsuspecting foes. this went on until the storm passed, the sun setting now, the clouds glowing golds and pinks, sprawled across the sky like a painting. They'd be drying off while sprinting home.

“Amir…?” Snapping back to reality from getting lost in the winds his gaze trailed to her face, resting softly on his right shoulder. “Thank you… for… everything, you are the greatest thing that has happened to me in my life…” Amir nodded “It's just what the God of Thunder would do for his Sugarcube~” he'd slow down since arriving at the Atomicycle garage. Lowering her softly before offering his hand. Kintsugi's hand clasped tightly with his, pulling herself up to embrace him. “I love you Amir…” her words were as sweet as honey, it made him tear up a little bit. “…I have one more question before this date ends, Mon Cheri.” Glancing up at him curious now. He cleared his throat pulling away from her. “Now this is a VERY serious request like, 110% over the top serious!” Her gaze was slightly concerned but before she could respond. In his cheesy commanding low toned voice.

“This is a top secret briefing from Beckett central command."

"Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to rendezvous with agent Amir at 00.00 PRECISELY."

"At which point, you MUST complete OPERATION KI55 if you wish to SAVE CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT..."

…or not, y'know that's cool too.”

His nervous tone at the end made Kintsugi chuckle, she nuzzled his nose, cupping his cheek, whispering in his ear. “Meet me at the backroom HQ then toots~” his face flushed red for a moment, eyes slightly rolling back in his head, with a quick peck on the cheek. He happily guided her home, practically dancing around in the mall, while the others partied.

---

Amir leaned anxiously on the balcony railing waiting for Kintsugi to approach, she needed to ‘clean up’ which he understood, a drenched raincoat and jeans weren't exactly ‘New Year's Kiss’ attire. The new year's radio hummed softly in the background. She approached from behind, startling him a bit. “Heya…” was all his mind could respond with, as she stood there, her cozy and familiar outfit looked even prettier under the orange lighting. Gazing out and below momentarily, a wide smile crept up on her face, their eyes meeting again. Her soft sweet amethyst eyes pierced his soul in the best way. He finally mentally said ‘screw it,’ tearing his glasses from his face, throwing them behind him, Kalymos startled. Her soft laughter encouraged him to quickly snap up her hands before bowing gently kissing those sacred crafters. She giggled again as he pulled her close, guiding her hand upwards before twirling. He coaxed his arms behind her back and hip, leaning her down, faces so close their heat collided as he closed the distance. A beautiful, passionate kiss shared as the music swelled perfectly and the cheering countdown outside reached 0.

Amir raises himself up as fireworks go off outside and inside his mind. Her gaze starstruck, as much as he was. “That… that's so much better than in the movies…” they both chuckled as he twirled her in his arms again, dancing, lifting her up. "What do you say... We continue this in bed..?~" her seductive cooing made his everything shudder. He was going to do her good tonight.

---

He huffed softly, taking off his equipment as she slowly stripped her clothing. Both naked and cold. He feverishly grasped the back of her head and he pressed himself against her. Their tongues dancing in unison. They both starved themselves of oxygen, pulling away. “G-gods… Amir, I l-love you so much.” Her hitched breathing only made him more enamored, just wanting to consume her body. He didn't allow her another word as he went to aggressively chomp into her soft neck as a horny growl escaped him. Her cries of pleasure drove him crazy, pushing her down on the bed. He leaned away from her neck, softly licking the small amount of blood he drew. His cock revealed itself, Kintsugi’s power yet again, providing an opportunity he wouldn't have had before. He pressed his tip against her opening, drooling, growling, glancing down at her warm, delicious body.

“Hah~… Amir... p-please… I want you~…” her voice, softer, begging for him. He licked his lips, this would be a delicacy he could indulge in every night if he wanted too. Leaning slightly forward, whispering in her ear he aggressively plowed into her, his length completely swallowed by her. Screaming moans filled the room, her eyes rolled back as she clawed at his shoulder blades. He couldn't contain himself anymore, he wildly thrusted as their moans got louder and louder. She begged for more, he responded by his face leaning further down, sucking on her tits, making sure both got attention. God she was so delicious. He raised his head, biting down on her neck again as he thrusted faster, slight currents coil around his body. He felt so good, and she felt better.

“Nnnngnn~~ Sugarcube… I wanna hear you sing more~~” he pulls out for a moment, flipping her body, pulling her on top of him, her back against his chest, his cock twitched against belly. Her body still shaking, he pulled her up slightly, her petals against his tip. He roared, penetrating her aggressively,.she screamed his name. “AAAAAHGHH~ AMIR~~ MERCY!!” her pleas were ignored, he knew she was begging for him to go faster. More electricity sparked around him, there's no going back now, he pulled her hair back, her drool getting all over the place, tongue out, her eyes rolled. She was getting close, he leaned forward, grasping her breasts for support, whispering sweet nothings. Nibbling her ear. He was getting closer.

“Mmmhhhg~~ Mon Cheri… I… I can't stop~~” electricity surged through both of them. Kintsugi's moans drowned out the explosions outside, her body beautifully illuminated, sweat making her glisten under the golden lights. “P-please” her gasping made him a feral mess. He was losing control and she knew it. His eyes glowed softly, as he forced her down, letting out a huge load in her, the warmth, the feeling of it pumping inside her. Her climaxing moan, drove him to force himself slightly deeper, pulling her down further cupping her now bitten and slightly bruised neck, coaxing her to stare up at him. "God y-you're soooo beautiful... Like this.~"

Her eyes were completely rolled behind her skull, her rapid breathing calming down as the adrenaline wore off. She fell limp, softly breathing. He carefully coiled around her as he wrapped himself with her in soft fuzzy blankets. He nuzzled his chin within the crook of her neck and admired her vulnerable visage. “I love you so, so much… Kintsugi, I hope we… we can do this more… next… cycle….” he slowly and blissfully, fell asleep, her soul resting peacefully in his arms.

---

He awoke in a cold sweat, sighing in relief after realizing the cycle started again and she was still in his arms. Softly kissing her forehead as any doubt of him forgetting her were snuffed. He embraced the comfort of knowing she'd truly be with him for eternity.

♡ Your daily dose of cat memes ᓚᘏᗢ ♡

I said I was gonna redo it! And I did! I'm gonna make a longer version later because this song is sooooo Crow/Uldren to me. I was gonna hold until I finished the full thing but ehhh... this is good for now.

I love him, guys. I fucking love this stupid stupid man. I need to put him under a microscope. Need to kiss him on the mouth.

Song: Everybody Wants to Rule the World Game: Destiny 2 Programs used: Premiere Pro 2024

SWHFTT‼️‼️SUNDAY‼️‼️

49. Just sit this one out, Warlocks.

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