To Save A Wretch Like Me

The Ten Commandments

Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not worship idols. Thou shalt not take the name of thy lord in vain. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Honor your father and your mother. Thou shalt not murder. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not give false testimony. Thou shalt not covet.

Visitors! Welcome to our humble church.

This is Brother Sam, be nice to him,

he’s only happy if he’s the center of attention.

And this is one of our Elders, Tom. That’s

his new BMW in the parking lot. I swear, he

loves that thing more than his wife! And oh my

God, there’s Sister Tina, hard at work preparing

lunch! I swear that woman never takes a day off.

Oh dear, here comes the pastor’s son - don’t

make eye contact, his father kicked him out

last weekend for telling him to “fudge” off,

pardon my language. I heard they had a fight

over Pastor Phillip backstabbing his brother

over an old grudge, but I could be mistaken.

Look, it’s his wife! She and the associate pastor

have been rather close lately. His suits have also

been getting nicer. Funny, I’d think his salary

would shrink with how the weekly collections

been dropping. Oh well. Oops, time to take

our seats! The youth minister is preparing to

testify before the congregation that he didn’t

pull a Clinton with our little miss Monica.

Feel free to find me after service - I’ll just be

here, coveting a life away from “Christians.”

Handle With Care

An inevitable conclusion

looms just out of sight of

my weak and wondering

eyes. Either we will last

forever or we will burn,

crash to the ground in

ugly flames of sulfur and

shame. Goodbye, good

bye, hello, goodbye. No

more farewells I beg,

either stay or go. My heart

cannot handle one more

hello just to end in another

goodbye. If I let you go it

will surely break. Please,

stop these mistakes that I

am too fragile to take.

To Save a Wretch Like Me

Palms sweat thick as blood. I fold them so as not

to stain my skirt, too clean, too white. The wine of redemption

burns my throat, bitter next to the sweet sin so heavy on my

unholy mind. The call to confess crushes the

soul. There are no secrets left. I can’t look up, can’t

burn my eyes with the sight of his neck, red with the embarrassment

of awareness beneath a shock of blond. He sits two rows ahead,

his head bowed in humility, and I sink to the depths of the

earth, opening to swallow me beneath the altar before me,

drowning me in the tears of the women at the cross.

Confess?

Lust Song

Is that love in your eyes, or are you just happy to

see me? Me, naked above you, beneath you,

around you. My bible lies open in the backseat,

Samson and Delilah. My legs clench your waist,

pulling you closer, deeper, further into this

stark truth: there’s no hiding from you now.

Every inch of me bare, my ugly flaws and

rosy lies, sketched across my inner thighs.

Am I good for a game? Love and sex are not

the same. There’s nothing to see here past

the hills and valleys of dimples and curves.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Before our first date you bought me white lilies. I guessed you didn’t know the symbolism. But as the two of us become one for the who-knows-what time – you, deep inside me and I, clenched tight around you – I wonder if you did. Sometimes I feel as if we have become dead together. Your burning skin pressed against me, answering my need, no longer smells like cinnamon, only sweat. As your lips caress my collarbone, my breast, my navel you no longer taste strawberry, only salt. This four-story apartment building, box-shaped and bland, no longer is a stepping stone to a better life, but just another reminder of how our plans fell through. I remember the lilies as your hands squeeze my aching flesh, too warm for a corpse. The sun rises and the birds chirp and I convince myself that we are not yet dead. Even if that sun has long faded our yellow curtains. Even if we hardly speak. Even if you no longer call me liebe, though  we still make love. Even if your touch is the only thing I’m still living for.

Lone Tree - Rachel Schneider

Medium: 

Calligraphy pens on paper

Sweetie

Love, your friend:

Sweetie, the roses are all dying now,

They’ve withered and faded beyond repair.

And though you water them I can see how

They still have gone, despite your watchful stare.

Sweetie, the roses have all bowed their heads,

A sign of goodbye in this cold, dark room.

The stems have gone black and their bodies shed

Their petals and leaves far into the gloom.

Sweetie, sometimes I think you are a rose

He’s drying you up petal by petal.

I watch you lie down and as your eyes close,

I see your heart is now withered, brittle.

Sweetie, you know deep inside this is wrong.

Inside your heart is not where he belongs.

The Boy That Never Was

There’s a candle in my window for

the boy who never was.

It flickers just as brightly as

the laughter in his eyes. The warmth

inside his heart is matched by nothing

but the flame, and the tiny drips

of melted wax, intricate as his mind.

The candle burns to mourn this boy,

the one I could have loved.

He may have lived - this boy, indeed.

But mine he never was.

Track 1

A little conversation is all it takes on

                    the beach at day break. Kiss me gently

                                   as quiet notes waft across the sand

                         out of the open door of your car idling

                                             in the background. The only sound is

                                        you and me and the pristine waves as

                                                            your lips sear your name on my

                                                  tongue and the soft guitar serenades

                                 the silence. Hold me closer, feel me warm

                    against you. The water is beautiful.