I Can Still Feel The Relief When Shepherd Crashed To The Ground

BITCH I JUST HIT THE FEELS

Favourite duo: ⇢ Cpt. John “Soap” MacTavish & Cpt. John Price

CHAPTER 10 - once you go in, there's no turning back (hwang in ho x reader)

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The kiss still lingered on your lips - you could still taste In-ho. Every step back toward the dormitory felt heavy, as if your body was caught in the weight of something you couldn’t quite name. Was it the kiss? Was it the fact that you actually murdered someone? Was it your conscience eating you up?

Your fingers twitched at your sides, remembering the way In-ho’s touch had burned into your skin, the way he had pulled you in like he was afraid to let go. And then, your thoughts drifted as to when you snapped that player’s neck, as if you were an expert on it. You wanted to justify it by stating that he deserved it, remembering his O patch. It was his decision, after all, to stay in the games. In this game, you were bound to kill anyone to win the prize.

Except you weren’t in this place to win the prize. You were just curious. How can your curiosity lead to something darker?

It should’ve been a victory. You survived the game. You made it through. And yet, there was something suffocating about the silence on the way to the dormitory, with In-ho behind you.

The tension from the Mingle game still clung to the air, thick and unshaken by the passing of time. Even as the remaining players shuffled back into the towering dormitory, the echoes of what had happened inside that cold, merciless arena followed you like shadows that refused to be left behind.

In-ho’s presence behind you was silent but palpable. You wanted to stop and look at him, to read the storm behind his eyes, to see if the kiss had shaken him the same way it had shaken you.

But you couldn’t.

Instead, you focused on the rhythmic sound of footsteps, the quiet murmurs of those who had barely escaped death. Gi-hun’s back was in front of you as he made his way down the labyrinth of stairs. He turned his head to you and In-ho slightly as he spoke. “When we get back, let’s count the number of people remaining.”

“Why?” In-ho asked, his eyes focusing on Gi-hun.

“If we count the numbers of Os and Xs, we’ll be able to see who’s likely to win the next vote.”

You softly chuckle, your mind telling you elsewhere to somehow ease the tension. “We’ll have to hope more people from the other side died.”

You could see Gi-hun almost stop to his tracks but continued, though his head turned to you, staring at you confusingly. There was cockiness, almost mocking, in your voice in the way you said it. You averted your gaze from him. There was no way you would admit your faith in humanity has died, even taking someone’s life in this game from your own hands.

You got blood on your hands, and there was no way you would tell that to Gi-hun who wanted to save everyone. 

You felt In-ho’s hand on your shoulder, pressing it lightly with his thumb as if to comfort you, just like he did in the old times. Gi-hun shot you two a look again, much to his confusion. As you remembered, Gi-hun was aware that In-ho’s wife was still alive.

Right. Gi-hun still knew that. But what didn’t make sense to you was why In-ho lied to him. You planned to ask him later as he was already beginning to be warm towards you, or some sort. You had questions from the start, from when you first met him again, and what his role was in these games. Your gut feeling tells you that he’s a part of it, but you couldn’t piece it together yet. 

You focused on the cold of the dormitory seeping into your skin, your heartbeat hadn’t quite settled since the moment you pressed your lips against In-ho. It was immoral to be more worked up on the kiss than taking someone’s life in your own hands, yet you couldn’t figure out whether you were just distracted from that, or you were just becoming a dark, terrible person. 

“Don’t be so sad,” you heard the Shaman woman say as you walk near Hyun-ju’s group. “You will be joining her in the underworld soon.”

You snapped your head up at the Shaman, her eyes circling on Hyun-ju who seemed to be devastated. You barely had a second to process it, seeing Hyun-ju’s face drawn tight, her hands clenched into trembling fists. Her breaths were uneven, sharp, as if she has been trying to keep them steady.

Hyun-ju stared at the Shaman, glaring at her as she flashed her a cocky smile. Your eyes darted over Hyun-ju’s group, seeing Geum-ja, Yong-sik, and Player 246.

Only Young-mi wasn’t there.

It didn’t hit you immediately. You wanted to deny it. Yet their faces were enough of an answer for you to know the truth.

You felt as if you were floating, waiting for your mind to make sense of the fact that Young-mi was gone. But when they did, they landed like a blade to the gut. Your breath caught, and for a second, all you could do was stare at Hyun-ju, then at Geum-ja, then at Yong-sik, then at Player 246, much to your surprise. You hoped that you had somehow gotten it wrong.

“I’ve put a curse on you all,” the Shaman said, her eyes gazing over everyone, including you. “I’ve been praying to the gods of heaven and earth with all my heart to let me see all of you die in this place, one by one.”

“You’ll never get out of here alive,” you said, gritting your teeth as you leaned towards the Shaman. “One more word from you, and you’ll never see another day in this place. You will die a miserable, painful death— enough for you to see whoever God is up there.”

The Shaman was clearly taken aback, seeing her clear her throat as she shot you a look first before walking away. You heard her mumble a curse, but you didn’t care anymore. At this point, with humanity being ripped away from you, you were sure that one wrong move from her will trigger you to knock her off in an instant.

You turned to Hyun-ju, Geum-ja, Yong-sik, and Player 246, who seemed to stare at you in shock. You quickly softened your expression, realizing you were showing this other side of you so plain. Young-mi was supposed to be here with you and the others, yet in this selfish place, she was gone just like that.

“Young-mi is dead,” Hyun-ju’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, her eyes darken and sunken with something raw. “She was killed. They found her after the game ended.”

The room suddenly felt too bright, too suffocating. The world around you pressed in, the air thinning as your fingers curled into tight fists at your sides.

You had seen Young-mi last before the game, her usual sharp wit and and biting sarcasm still intact. You heard her voice. You stood alongside her, knowing and believe that you would both walk out of this. And now, she was gone.

Your pulse pounded against your ears, a sickening rhythm that made your knees feel weak. A thousand thoughts crashed into you at once, along with guilt. Was she betrayed? Did she fight back? Was she also killed the same way you killed another player?

But none of them mattered now. All the questions, the possibilities, everything. Because you had been out there, kissing In-ho, holding onto him, getting lost in the game, lost in him — while she was dying.

Your stomach churned violently, feeling dizzy from all that was happening so fast. You wanted to scream. You could hear your inner voices. It was your conscience eating you up.

A hand, warm and firm, brushed against yours, almost like an anchor. It was In-ho’s. You wanted to melt into his touch, to surrender. But this time, you didn’t take it. 

You stepped back, walking towards Gi-hun’s group, seeing them plotting something else. You walked past them and went towards your bed, not minding their stares as they wondered what was wrong. Concern was evident on their faces, but you weren’t in the mood to talk. Not especially with all that happened.

You swallowed the bile rising in your throat and forced yourself to breathe as you laid down, but it did nothing to stop the realization curling into your chest like a slow, venomous burn.

The game was still winning, and you were letting it.

“Gi-hun,” you heard Jung-bae call out. “There are fifty-five people who voted in favor of continuing.”

“Are you sure?” Gi-hun asked.

“I counted them twice.”

“What about you?” Dae-ho asked, his fingers pointing at Jung-bae’s patch. “What about you? Did you include yourself?”

Jung-bae looked at his patch, the realization hitting his eyes. “It’s fifty-six.”

You heard Dae-ho sigh. “We have forty-four people on our side, so we’re outnumbered by twelve.”

“Shoot, that means we’re likely to lose again,” Jung-bae whimpered slightly, staring at the players with O patches.

“It may seem like a big difference,” In-ho said as you felt him motioning beside you, but you kept your eyes closed, your arms covering your eyes. “But if six of them change their minds, it’ll be 50/50, all tied. If seven of them change their minds, we could win.”

“But those who pressed X might change their minds too,” Dae-ho replied with worry.

“They probably won’t change their minds easily,” In-ho replied, more of a statement and not a hint of question in his answer.

“Why not?” 

“They wanted to quit even when the prize was smaller. Now, they can leave with even more money. They wouldn’t want to risk their lives playing another game.”

“Impossible,” you spoke up, much to the group’s surprise. “They can still change their minds. The more that they see themselves surviving and the more the prize money goes up, the more the temptation to play more will get to them. It’s the greed talking.”

In-ho stared at you, a quiet recognition flickering in his eyes. You could almost see the twitch in his lips as if to smile. As if you made a very great point. 

 “I’m going to press X this time,” Jung-bae said, a hopeful glint present in his eyes. 

You scoffed. “You should’ve pressed X when you had the chance.”

Jung-bae raised his eyebrow on you, clearly taken aback. Gi-hun and Dae-ho did the same, while Jun-hee was staring at you as if to study you. There was wonder in their eyes, a bit of shock as you spoke. You were being too pragmatic— cocky, even. You were too sure.

Yet Jung-bae only looked away. Somehow, you still had a point. He knew that. If he really wanted to quit, he could’ve voted for X from the very start and not change his decisions right away. Your patience in this game was growing thinner with each second. 

“Why don’t we try to convince them?” Gi-hun asked, his voice hopeful for another acknowledgement from the others, hopeful for an agreement. 

“No, that’s too risky,” In-ho replied. “Most of them will want to continue the games. If we make a move, they won’t just sit back and watch.”

“So you think we should just stand here and pray they change their minds?” Gi-hun asked in disbelief.

You shot up from your bed, your eyebrows furrowing as you looked at Gi-hun. “Don’t try to be the hero, Gi-hun. It’s their choice to be here, to continue the games. It’s what the game is trying to tell us.”

“I’m no hero,” Gi-hun retorted, his voice low, the desperation in his voice evident as he gritted his teeth. “But what if we lose again? We march down, hand in hand, to play another game?”

“I understand how you feel,” In-ho said, his hand motioning at you to not speak. “I also wish I could leave right now. We do. But this is the moment to stay calm.”

“Stay calm?” Gi-hun said in disbelief. “We’ve already taken a vote twice. If we can’t convince them, we’ll have to bring them over to our side by force.”

“If we provoke them now, we may end up in a big fight before we even get to vote,” In-ho replied. “Is that what you want, Gi-hun?”

Gi-hun stayed silent, though his eyes were focused on you and In-ho. He was sensing something between the two of you - the sudden understanding seemed to catch him off guard. As far as he knew, In-ho was still married. To you, he was a widower. That was the truth. But Gi-hun was more disturbed with your sudden shift. The one who held on hope for humanity was gone, and was replaced by this cold, dark person. 

The alarm buzzed, just in time to ease the tension on your group. By the door, the triangle-masked guards gathered as the square-masked guard stepped in, his presence signaling a sense of command. “Congratulations to all of you for making it through the third game. Now, here are the results of the third game.”

The TV displayed a total prize money accumulated to 35.6 billion won, divided by 356 million won for each player. You stepped out and positioned yourself next to In-ho, giving him a pat on his shoulder as your eyes glued to the monitor. 

“With that kind of money, some of them will change their minds,” Jung-bae muttered.

“It’s either the money is enough for them or they’ll want to play another to win more,” you said, your eyes still fixed on the TV.

“The vote will once again be conducted in reverse order of your player numbers,” the square-masked guard said. “Player 456, please cast your vote.” Gi-hun stepped out from the crowd as the guard spoke again. “To ensure fair and democratic voting, we will not tolerate any disruptions from this point onward. Please bear that in mind.”

With no hesitation, Gi-hun pushed the X button, retaining his vote as the X number increased to 1. 

You were almost unattentive to your surroundings, not minding the scoreboard of the X and O votes. Though you couldn’t deny the weight of choices before yours. X or O - a simple vote, but it might as well have been a knife at your throat.

You shouldn’t be hesitating at all. You weren’t like the others. You weren’t drowning in debt, clawing for salvation in a place that offered nothing but destruction. You had entered the game out of curiosity - a whim, reckless craving to see what was happening behind the curtain all because of that recruiter. But now, you stood here, waiting for your player number to be called for you to vote that would define the person you were becoming.

You felt the villain in you creeping beneath your skin with every game. The cold calculation, the growing numbness. The way your hands had moved without hesitation when it came down to survival. And yet, a part of you still wanted to believe that there was something left to salvage. Maybe in the next games, you would see humanity change. Or not at all.

“You look like you’re thinking too much,” In-ho’s voice was low and smooth that melted your thoughts, snapping you back to the present.

You turned to him, meeting his gaze. This time, his eyes were soft as he looked at you, then to your lips, then to your eyes again. His mouth curved into something dangerously close to a smirk as he leaned in, close enough that you could feel his breath ghost over your skin. 

“What does it matter to you?” You asked.

He gave out a slow exhale, barely a sigh. Then, his fingers brushed against yours, deliberate but fleeting. A touch that barely lingered, yet left something behind. “Because you don’t belong here.”

You felt your breath hitched as you held your gaze on him, searching his face for an answer. But he gave you nothing. Just that unreadable and calm one. Too calm. “What?” You asked, your voice quieter this time.

His head tilted slightly, watching you with an unsettling kind of certainty. “You’re not in debt. You lived a good life in America only to come back here in Seoul after your father died. You wanted to play ddakji just for the sake of seeing if you were still good at it. Money was never a problem to you, Y/N,” In-ho stated, as if he had always known the truth. “You didn’t think you walked into this place unnoticed, did you?”

The implication made your stomach turn. 

He knew. He had known from the start.

But why?

Your lips parted, but no words came. And in that silence, he leaned in, his breath ghosting over your temple. “What’s someone like you, who was so full of life, doing in a place like this ready to kill people?” Your pulse pounded against your ribs as he continued. “I was once like you. But in this place, it changes you. The truth will always come get you in the end.”

“The truth?” You managed to ask, though your voice a bit cracking. 

“About me.”

Your stomach twisted. “And what exactly would that be?”

For a moment, he just watched you, searching for something in your eyes. Then, he leaned in, his lips dangerously close to your ear. “I won.” Your breath caught, but before you could speak, he continued. “And I have a role in all of this now.”

It wasn’t a confession. Not completely. He didn’t say what role nor what it exactly meant. But you weren’t stupid. 

But you should’ve known it from the very start.

The Young-il name was already a give away, as if he was ready. The coincidence of being the Player 001 and being named Young-il didn’t make sense. It was far from being a coincidence. He carried himself too much, the way his words were always a little too measured, a little too careful, as if they were being placed exactly where they needed to be. The name, the persona — it was all a mask. A carefully crafted lie.

“After we vote, I’ll tell you everything.”

You felt your body shot up, the curiosity plastering all over your body. What did he know that you didn’t know from all this? What role could he have in all these? If you know about everything, will it endanger your life even more?

“Who are you?” You stared at him, your throat dry as you felt your heart hammering against your ribs.

For the first time, something flickered in his eyes. Something familiar. Something painful. He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. His stare fixed on you indicated something darker and deeper. Something that told you — he had been waiting for this. 

“Player 002.”

You snapped away from In-ho, turning your attention to the vote. You walked towards the voting box, the buttons gleaming under the cold, artificial light, its surface smudged from countless trembling fingers before yours. 

O or X.

You could end this. You could walk away. But deep down, you already knew what your fingers were going to do. A sharp beep echoed in the silence as you pressed X, a cheer from the X crowd erupting.

You turned back to In-ho, who was waiting at the end of the crowd as he stared at you intently. His lips barely curved — not a smirk, but something else. Something unreadable.

——

The voting ended with a tie, which meant that the voting will resume again tomorrow. Yet you felt uneasy. Anytime, you knew that the O team would attack anytime soon. Just for the sake of winning the money more and more. 

It was going to be a special game. You tried to piece it together as you progressed through the games. The system was trying to make you kill each other, giving you less and less food as it progressed. Hunger was the main source of greed, it's why humans would do anything just to not starve. The gimbap on your hand and a glass bottle of soda were enough of a hint for you that there was something more happening.

The glass bottle could be your source of weapon in case something goes wrong in this place. You kept your silence as you ate the dry gimbap, its flavors still present but the dryness was scoring your throat in. It felt like you were eating a piece of paper, but to you, it didn’t matter. As long as it fed your stomach well.

“Y/N,” you blinked, snapping away from your thoughts as you heard Gi-hun’s voice. You glanced up and saw his expression was careful, but there was something else beneath it. “You got a minute?”

You nodded, but there was hesitation in you as he sat down beside ypu, resting his forearms on his thighs. 

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. He just stared at the floor, his fingers fidgeting on the wrapped gimbap as if trying to find the right words. “It’s about Young-il,” he finally said.

Your stomach twisted, though you forced your face to be stern. “What about him?”

Gi-hun exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “You two are close, right? Like real close.”

You shrugged, keeping your voice even. “Hmm?”

“Isn’t he married?” Gi-hun’s voice dropped slightly, but still careful. “Maybe you shouldn’t get too attached.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you swallowed, keeping your face unreadable.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Gi-hun—“

“Where do you get the nerve?” He cut in, his voice edged with something sharp, something bitter.

You blinked. “Excuse me?”

His jaw tightened. “I’ve seen you. The way you act in the games. The way you don’t even flinch anymore,” his fingers curled into fists. “When did you stop caring? When did you decide it was easier to be a monster?”

The words slammed into you harder than you expected. Your throat tightened as you stared at him. “I’m not a monster.”

“Then why are you here?” He leaned in slightly, his voice lowering. “You’re not even like the rest of us. You said yourself that you weren’t drowning in debt. You weren’t desperate to be here.”

You scoffed. “Oh, and you are?” You spat, leaning in, voice dripping with venom. “You won the games before, right? You have 46.5 billion won sitting in your bank account, and yet you still came back. So tell me, Gi-hun, why the hell are you here?”

Gi-hun’s face twisted. “That’s different.”

“Is it?” You let out a laugh, almost mocking. “You had a choice. You could’ve walked away. You could’ve lived. And yet, here you are, just like the rest of us, pretending you’re better.”

Gi-hun flinched, but his jaw tightened. “At least I know when to stop,” he muttered.

You felt a bitter taste in your mouth as you spoke. “But you’re here pretending to be a hero.”

A thick silence settled between you, feeling the tension on your shoulders. You stared onto space as you felt affected towards his words. You didn’t know whether to take it into consideration or to feel insulted.

Then, a voice cut through the tension.

“That’s enough.”

In-ho stood nearby, his presence commanding, gaze locked onto Gi-hun. There was no warmth in his voice, only quiet authority, the weight of someone who had been watching long enough.

Gi-hun exhaled, standing up. His shoulders slumped slightly, but his eyes never left yours. “Just don’t lose yourself in here,” he said, his voice quieter this time. “This place eats people alive.” He walked away, leaving you there.

You stared at the ground, weighing his words, feeling their weight settle deep in your chest. But when you looked up, your eyes met In-ho’s. You weren’t sure which was heavier — Gi-hun’s warning or the pull of In-ho’s gaze, the silent reminder of everything you were letting yourself become. 

“Hey,” In-ho said, his voice warm enough to make you feel at ease. “You alright?”

You nodded, remembering you still had your one remaining gimbap in your hand. “Yeah. Gi-hun just noticed us becoming too close.”

“Is that a bad thing?” In-ho asked, though his voice was a bit teasing but there was questioning in his voice, as if he was testing you.

“No,” you shrugged. “Let’s just go with the others and see what they’re up to.”

In-ho nodded as he helped you up, holding you as if you were something fragile. Your cheeks flushed a bit but kept your gaze in front, knowing you would melt if you met his gaze. You sat beside Geum-ja, who was grouped now with Player 246, who you now know as Gyeong-seok, then Yong-sik, Jung-bae, Dae-ho, Jun-hee, and Gi-hun. As much as possible, you distanced yourself from Gi-hun, still feeling disturbed by your recent conversation with him.

You noticed Yong-sik standing up, facing the players who had O patches on the other side. “Hey!” He called out. “Don’t agonize over your decision while eating this dry gimbap. I just want one of you to come over to our side. If we get out of there tomorrow morning, we could get Korean beef! I’ll tell you what. It’s my treat!”

You shook your head, feeling the secondhand embarrassment. This was a pity attempt to make the O players change their minds. This wouldn’t end well.

“And after that, the noodles are on me!” Geum-ja spoke up. You wanted to stop her, but she was too determined to speak up. Despite the evilness in this place, you can’t deny that there were pure, good-hearted people like her.

Yet to you, evilness always prevailed. Your point was proven when Player 100 spoke from the O crowd.

“Once you all die in the next game, we can all leave with 800 million each!” Player 100 spoke with diction, his words echoing through the silence prevailed over the X crowd. “With 800 million, we could buy a freaking cattle ranch!”

The O players cheered from behind him, their taunting smiles and growls echoing through the room. Dae-ho stood up, taking a step forward as he pointed his fingers at them. “You’ll get 800 million? Who are you kidding? Do you think you’ll still be alive after the next game? If you don’t get out now, you’re all going to die!”

“So let’s play one more game to see who dies,” Player 226 from the O crowd snapped back. “Stop trying to run away like a goddamn coward.

Dae-ho scoffed. “What did you say?” He moved towards the O crowd but still near the X crowd. “Come here, asshole!” Jung-bae followed in attempt to stop Dae-ho from walking towards the O crowd.

“I’ll take you down, chump!”

“Not with civilians,” Jung-bae dragged Dae-ho by the shoulder, only to be snapped away by Dae-ho. He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve, revealing his Marines tattoo. 

“I was in the Marines, fucking asshole!”

The O players laughed mockingly. You looked away, feeling your cheeks flush in secondhand embarrassment. You noticed In-ho watching the scene intently, though his stare was cold as if assessing. 

“Oh, yeah? Then I was in the air force, fucker!” Player 226 retorted, earning more laugh from the crowd behind him.

Then, for a split second, the X crowd start to gather in the middle, though they weren’t crossing the line. The division between two crowds was evident as the lines from each O and X were enough for them to not cross. The room was echoing with hatred, evilness, and something vulgar. If you were expecting the guards to step in and bring peace, you were wrong. They stayed still in the corner, their guns in hand watching the scene unfold.

Your eyes turned to the foil on your hand where the gimbap was wrapped. Though as you were about to crumple it, something cold and metallic brushed against your palm. Your breath hitched as you unwrapped the foil, revealing a fork.

Your fingers curled around the handle, heart thudding against your ribs. This wasn’t a mistake. This was deliberate.

You were right. The system wanted you to kill each other.

In-ho’s hand reached out to your fork, covering it. His grip was firm, but his thumb traced the ridge of your knuckles as if there was unspoken reassurance, a warning wrapped in something softer. He leaned in, his breath ghosting near your ear.

“Keep it.”

Your fingers tightened around the utensil, swallowing hard as you glanced up at him. His face gave nothing away, but his eyes held something heavy, as if it was calculated.

“What?” Gi-hun’s voice was low, but the edge was unmistakable. Across from you, he stared down at his own gimbap, his fingers pulling away a fork of his own. His eyes then flickered to yours, then to In-ho, suspicion bleeding into every inch of his face.

Something was coming. The guards never made mistakes. This wasn’t some mere accident.

You exchanged one last glance with In-ho before lowering your head, slipping the fork into your sleeve. Your mind raced as you realized, muttering under your breath as it washed over you. “X versus O…”

“They want us to turn on each other,” In-ho murmured, just loud enough for you to hear. He sensed the growing weight pressed against your chest, he added, “I’ll protect you.”

You flinched. The words were so quiet they barely existed, but they were there. You turned to him, but he was already staring at you.

“There’s going to be a plan,” In-ho continued, his voice smooth but he seemed unaffected. He didn’t need to say whose plan. You both knew Gi-hun wouldn’t sit still. “He’s going to try to rally the X players, maybe propose an alliance before the real bloodshed starts.”

“It won’t work,” you replied, your tone with certainty but the concern was evident on your face. “But you, you already have a plan, don’t you?”

“I have a foresight,” he said simply, though it wasn’t enough for an answer.

“Tell me,” you pressed, leaning towards him.

He held your gaze for a moment too long. Then, his lips twitched. Not into a smirk, not into a smile, but something close to amusement. “You’ll see soon enough.”

Somehow, his words sent a shiver down your spine. That was more terrifying than anything Gi-hun could come up with. With Gi-hun, he wanted to survive. 

But with In-ho, he knew the rules better than anyone.

----

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A/N: I'm so so sorry this took a bit long. I had to move things around in my house as we're moving out from the family home. You know, for a fresh new start. I admit that I'm not doing a bit well lately but writing this chapter still lifted my spirits up somehow. I kinda feared this chapter would be a bit long but turns out it's kind of the same from the other chapters. I'm also excited to write the next chapter and I'll definitely started to work on it immediately. Anyway, feel free to leave out your thoughts here, and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. 🫶

Don't forget to leave a comment in this post to be tagged on the next chapter! ✨

TAGS: @machipyun @love-leez @enzosluvr @amber-content @kandierteveilchen @butterfly-lover @1nterstellarcha0s @squidgame-lover001 @risingwithtriples @fries11 @follows-the-life-ahead @goingmerry69 (p.s. if i forget to you, please let me know)

CHAPTER 12 - once you go in, there's no turning back (hwang in ho x reader)

>> MASTERLIST

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——

“All players, it is bedtime now. Please return to your quarters immediately. Otherwise, you will be eliminated from the game.”

The fight was slipping through your fingers.

What had started as a strong rebellion was now being crushed under the sheer numbers of the guards. Players fell one by one, their weapons useless as they ran out of ammo. You could hear the panicked shouts, the desperate cries of those who realized they were on the losing side. You could hear more guards closing in, pressing their advantage with disciplined precision, their faceless masks showing no hesitation as they cut down players who resisted.

Your hands tightened around your gun, fingers slick with sweat and grime. You raised it, took aim at the nearest guard, only to hear a click.

Your stomach twisted as your breath came in short, ragged gasps as you glanced around, scanning for an escape. The crimson-soaked floors blurred with lifeless bodies, the scent of blood thick in the air.

“In-ho!” You called, frantic.

His gaze snapped to yours, only for you to realize how much of a mistake you just made. You immediately regretted it. He was Young-il to everyone else. The name lingered in the tense air, but he didn’t react, his expression remaining unreadable as chaos erupted around you.

Still, you shook your head and continued to speak. “This isn’t getting us anywhere! Let’s follow them to the upper level!”

“We might get surrounded if we move together without a plan!” In-ho said. “Let’s wait until they find the control room.”

You nodded. He throws an ammo your way as you grabbed on to it, reloading your gun as you continued to shoot the guards. 

“Everyone, check your magazines!” Hyun-ju yelled.

“I’m down to half,” Gyeong-seok called out. 

Most of the rebels only had little ammo left. You looked at In-ho, who seemed to be too composed. As if his mind was working ahead of everyone else’s, calculating and strategizing. His grip on his gun was steady, his stance unshaken. But his eyes— there was something in them. Something you couldn’t quite place. Something that made your chest tighten.

“Young-il, Dae-ho, Y/N, can you hear me?” You heard your radio crackle up to life. 

“Yeah!” You raised your voice enough for the radio to hear. “What’s the situation over there?”

“I think we’re right below the control room!” Jung-bae said. “But we need backup and more ammo.” 

“We’re running out of ammo too!” You replied.

“There should be spare magazines in the soldiers’ pockets in our quarters,” you heard Gi-hun’s voice over the radio. “Go get them!”

“Got it!” You beeped the radio down and placed it on your pocket. 

In-ho immediately snaps to the other rebels. “Did you hear that? They need backup!” He called out. “The four of us will go, and the rest will stay!” He looks at you and gives you a nod, then turns to the other rebels again. “Join us once you get the magazines! Y/N, come with me.”

You nodded and held his sleeve, almost tripping as you stepped forward while still crouching. Player 047 and 015 followed you and In-ho, the desperation etched onto their faces. You didn’t know their names, and you didn’t need to. Right now, survival was all that mattered.

You sprinted through the facility’s wreckage, ducking behind overturned tables and shattered crates, the pounding of boots growing louder behind you. Every corner turned felt like a death sentence as every hallway stretched longer than it should.

Then, up ahead, you saw Gi-hun and Jung-bae. Their faces were lined with exhaustion, but when they saw you, something flickered in their eyes. As if there was relief.

“Gi-hun!” In-ho called out. “Did you find the control room?”

“I think it’s right up there, but we can’t go this way,” Gi-hun said. “I want you to find another way.” 

“I did a quick scan of the layout here. I’m sure there’s a way to go around them.”

You almost let out a scoff, but you held it back. You were in no way of letting him know that you knew who he was. You needed an actual proof, something that would slap you to reality on what his role is in the games.

“I want you guys to keep their focus on you. We’ll hit them from behind.”

Gi-hun nodded. As In-ho was about to turn away, Gi-hun held his shoulder to stop him. “Wait!” He grabbed an extra ammo from his pocket and handed it to In-ho, who seemed to stare at the ammo in Gi-hun’s hand. “Here, take this. You’re going to need it.”

You stayed silent, watching the scene. You realized and saw the goodness of Gi-hun, who seemed to willingly give his ammo for In-ho. If he only knew who he was.

“Are you sure?” In-ho asked, his eyes flickering with almost an amusement.

Gi-hun nodded. “Dae-ho will be back with more.”

In-ho nodded back, grabbing the ammo from Gi-hun as he placed to his pocket. He then looked at you, giving you a nod as a signal for all of you to move. You gripped your useless weapon as if it could protect you. The four of you pressed on, winding through the hallways, each step pulling you closer to the control room.

The air was heavy, thick with sweat and tension. You could feel In-ho behind you, his presence grounding in a way that contradicted the madness around you. He had barely spoken since you fled the battlefield, his focus sharp and unwavering.

Then, you heard a bang.

Beside you, Player 047 let out a strangled gasp before crumpling to the ground. Then Player 015 stared at In-ho in horror, only for his fate to be the same.

Your heart stopped. You turned to In-ho, your pulse hammering, only to see Player 047’s and 015’s bodies sprawled on the cold floor. There, you saw In-ho, holding his gun.

For a moment, your breath caught in your throat. The world narrowed down to the sight of him standing there, his expression unreadable. The blood dripped from the fallen players to your feet, pooling beneath you, as their bodies twitched as the last remnants of their life drained away.

You stumbled back a step. “In-ho?”

His gaze met yours, dark and steady. Although something flickered across his face, something almost mournful, but it was gone before you could grasp it.

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

You opened your mouth to demand an answer, but before the words could form, he moved, raised his gun, and aimed it at you. His hand was steady, but this time, he aimed at your shoulder.

Everything slowed.

You could see the tension in his fingers, the way they curled around the trigger, hesitating for just a breath. His lips parted, a whisper carried on the blood-tainted air.

“I’m sorry.”

Then, a shot rang out. The sting of pain shot through you as you stumbled back, collapsing against the floor. The white-hot agony seared through your shoulder as you staggered. Your vision blurred, a strangled cry slipping from your lips as your body screamed in protest.

The impact sent you sprawling onto your back, your limbs heavy, your breath shallow. The pain was excruciating enough. But the shock? Betrayal? That was way worse.

Your body felt heavy and sluggish, as your knees buckled beneath you. Through the haze, a voice crackled over the radio.

“Young-il, Y/N! What’s going on? Are you attacking?” Gi-hun asked over the radio, though his voice was urgent yet demanding.

In-ho kept his gaze on you, though his voice was steady and emotionless. He leaned his face near you. “Tell him you and I were shot.”

The darkness was beginning to swim at the edges of your vision. You wanted to say something, but you could only form the words, “Gi-hun, I’m sorry. It’s all over.”

“Y/N, what happened? Are you all right?” Gi-hun’s voice reeked of desperation.

You felt your breath tremble, to which In-ho managed to place the radio near you. Then, a guard approached the two of you, draping a dark coat over In-ho’s shoulders. You watched, dazed, as the guard handed him the black mask, lifting and and sliding it on, his transformation complete. The final piece of a puzzle you had been too blind to put together.

You could barely fight when the guards grabbed you, dragging you away. You heard In-ho order something to the guards, but you couldn’t hear it well. Your body was weak, but your mind was screaming. Not from pain but from realization.

In-ho was never just another player.

——

In-ho sat on his quarters, his mask discarded on the table beside him. The rebellion was over. The bodies had been cleared, the blood scrubbed from the floors, and order had been restored. But none of it settled in his chest the way it should have. His hands, now free of gloves, trembled slightly as he unbuttoned his coard. He clenched them into fists.

Then, his gaze flickered toward the bet.

You lay there, still, your face softened in sleep. Someone had already stitched up your wound— he made sure of it. He had made sure the bullet wouldn’t be fatal. But then again, that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

A mistake, yet a necessary one, he thought to himself. But was it?

He pulled up a chair, resting his elbows on his knees as he watched you, the rise and fall of your chest too steady for comfort. You should hate him. You should wake up and look at him like he was a monster, and perhaps he was. But he couldn’t walk away. Not yet. Not when he had already made the choices that led him here.

Minutes passed before your breathing shifted. A flicker of movement. Your eyes fluttered open, unfocused, before they locked onto him. 

“In-ho,” you breathed, his name like venom in your mouth.

He sighed, sitting back slightly. “You should be resting.”

You ignored him. “You shot me.”

His jaw tightened. “I had to.”

Silence hung between you, thick and suffocating. Your fingers curled into the sheets, gripping them as if they were the only thing anchoring you. The betrayal swirled in your eyes, but underneath it was something worse. You were piecing it together. The rebellion, the foresight, the calculated steps he had taken long before anyone else even had a chance to act.

You swallowed, your voice barely a whisper. “How long have you been here?”

He met your gaze, and for a moment, he looked almost human again, like the boy you used to know. “Since I won.”

Another silence. Your eyes flickered around the room, taking in the minimal furnishings — the mask on the table, the weapons mounted on the wall. Then, your gaze landed on it. Another black coat, folded neatly on a chair beside the bed.

“What’s that?” You asked.

In-ho followed your gaze. “A choice.”

Your stomach twisted. “A choice?”

He stood, stepping toward you with measured steps, but he didn’t touch you. He wouldn’t. Now now. “You can take it. Become a part of this. Survive.”

You scoffed. “You want me to be a part of this?”

A flicker of something— regret, pain, longing —passed through his features, but it was gone before you could grasp it. “I want you to live.”

You looked away, staring at the coat as if it burned your vision. “And if I say no?”

His silence was enough for an answer.

A bitter lump formed in your throat as you forced yourself to meet his eyes again. “Tell me, In-ho. How did you become this?”

He inhaled deeply as if steadying himself. “The games… They don’t end when you leave. The debt, the desperation, it follows you,” he turned away slightly, as if speaking the words to the empty room. “I thought winning would fix everything. I was wrong. They gave me a choice. Play again, or become something else.”

Your fists clenched. “And you chose this?”

“I chose to live,” he turned back to you, his eyes darker than before. “I had nothing outside to offer. I lost my job and wife. I’ve lost everything, Y/N.”

In that moment, as you stared at him, the weight of everything settled in. He had chosen survival over morality. And now, he was offering you the same path.

He leaned more, cupping your face, but you didn’t pull away. His lips brushed yours, hesitant yet desperate, an almost feverish need for something neither of you could name. It was surrender, it was a plea. And for a moment, you kissed him back, almost letting go, almost giving in.

You felt his hands all over your body, though he was careful on your left shoulder. He gripped your breasts, earning a slight moan from you. You could feel yourself throbbing down there, craving for his shaft as you felt his bulge against you. As he was about to pull down your shorts, you stopped him, placing a hand on his chest, shaking your head. “You pulled away from the kiss, looking at him in the eye. “I need time.”

He paused, his eyes softening as he searched yours before he nodded. He respected it.

He turned away and went to the bathroom, hearing the shower turn on. You were left in his room to think, tugging yourself in the warm blanket. You closed your eyes, taking the sleep in as you snuggled yourself to the sheets.

——

The room was eerily silent except for the rhythmic hum of the ventilation system. The dim light from the bedside lamp cast soft shadows over the wall, making the space feel smaller and more suffocating. You lay stiffly on the bed, your wound still aching, but the pain wasn’t what kept you awake. 

It was In-ho.

He lay beside you, his breaths even, his expression serene in his sleep. You couldn’t but think that he was the same man who had shot and betrayed you. And yet, here he was, inches away, as if nothing had changed. As if your blood wasn’t on his hands.

Your eyes traced the contours of his face, familiar yet foreign. The In-ho you had known would never have done this. But this wasn’t the same In-ho anymore, was it?

A quiet sigh left your lips as you carefully pushed back the sheets, rising from the bed without a sound. He didn’t stir. He trusted you enough to sleep beside you, to let his guard down. It should have meant something, but all it did was remind you of how much had already been lost.

Your bare feet moved soundlessly across the cold floor as you slipped past him, stepping into the darkness beyond his quarters. The air felt heavier here, oppressive in a way you couldn’t quite describe. You wandered through the halls until you reached a door slightly ajar, the soft glow of monitors spilling out into the dim hallway.

His office.

Something in your gut twisted as you stepped inside. The room was meticulous, every detail organized, every document in its rightful place. The screens displayed live feeds from different areas of the facility, the mechanical nature of it all making your skin crawl.

And then, you saw them. The files. They were neatly stacked, labeled, and categorized.

Your breath hitched as your fingers hovered over them before pulling one free. The second your eyes landed on the name printed across the cover, your pulse skyrocketed.

It was your name.

You nearly dropped it in shock as your hands trembled. You flipped the file open, scanning the neatly typed reports inside. Every detail of your life was in here — your past, your choices, your weaknesses. The things no one should have knowns, even the things you had forgotten. It wasn’t just a dossier. It was a map of your existence, meticulously studied and dissected.

A hollow feeling settled in your chest, cold and sharp.

This was the last straw. You had to leave.

Now.

Your grip tightened on the folder as anger surged through you, your breathing uneven. The weight of the betrayal was suffocating, pressing against your ribs, clawing at your throat. The room spun slightly as the edges of your vision blurred with rage. 

With a sharp cry of frustration, you hurled the glass of water off the desk, watching as it shattered against the floor. The crash echoed through the room, its shards scattering in all directions, the water pooling at your feet.

Then, a sharp inhale came from behind you.

You turned slowly as your heart pounded while In-ho stood in the doorway. His hair was slightly disheveled, his eyes heavy with sleep—but the second he took in the scene before him, the exhaustion was gone. His gaze flickered between the scattered documents, the broken glass at your feet, and the fury on your face so evident.

He exhaled, his voice low, almost regretful. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

Your fingers curled into fists. “And what else was I not supposed to see, In-ho? How much of my life did you put under a microscope? How long have you been watching me?”

His jaw tensed, but he didn’t deny it. “It wasn’t like that. I needed to—“

“You needed to what? Control me? Keep me under your thumb?” Your voice cracked with emotion, but you refused to let it show as weakness.

In-ho took a slow step forward. “I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N.”

“Then why did you?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but the accusation behind it was deafening.

A long silence stretched between you both. His eyes darkened, filled with something unreadable— remorse, maybe, or something heavier. “I did what I had to do.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Of course you did. That’s what you keep telling yourself, right? That this is all justifiable?”

His lips parted as if he wanted to say more, but no words came. And for the first time, you saw it —  the regret buried beneath the cold exterior, the man you once knew, struggling beneath the weight of his own sins.

But it wasn’t enough. Nothing could be enough.

You inhaled sharply, forcing yourself to stay composed. “I need to get out of here. I need time to think. Away from all of this,” then you looked at him sternly. “Away from you.”

His expression flickered, his hands clenching at his sides. “And where exactly do you think you’ll go?”

“Seoul. Just for a few days,” you swallowed. “Give me three days, In-ho. Three days to clear my head. Then, I’ll decide if I ever want to see you again.”

For a moment, you thought he would refuse. His entire posture screamed resistance, his jaw tightening as he weighed the idea. But then, after a long pause, he sighed.

“Three days,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Then you come back. Or else.”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t know if you would.

As you turned away, the weight of his gaze followed you, heavy and desperate, but he said nothing more. And neither did you.

The silence between you was louder than any words could ever be.

——

The next morning was quiet. Too quiet.

You sat across from In-ho at the small dining table, the scent of warm food filling the air. The golden brown pancakes sat neatly on the plate beside crisp bacon, a simple yet familiar meal. Your stomach clenched as you realized this was his favorite.

A quiet, bitter smile tugged at your lips. “Bacon and pancakes. You always liked them, didn’t you?”

In-ho glanced up, seemingly surprised with the conversation. “I remember us making them once. Back then.”

The nostalgia weighed heavy in silence between you. In-ho motioned to place a piece of pancake on your plate, but you swatted his hand away, much to his surprise. You scoffed at him. “It’s enough that you prepared a nice meal. You don’t need to be nice,” you muttered idly.

You definitely struck a nerve, noticing his jaw clenched. Instead, he sat down and said nothing, staring at you intently as you spread out the butter and syrup on to your pancake. After what seemed forever, he was done eating. Then, he slid a box across the table and left, proceeding to go to his room.

You opened it and found your belongings— the things you had before you entered the games. A cruel reminder of the life you’d nearly lost.

After you were done, you proceeded to wash the dishes. For a moment, it felt like you had your life back, as if you were living a normal one. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you felt a ting of happiness knowing you’re with In-ho in one space, yet the betrayal crawled to you like venom, still feeling pain from when he shot you.

You heard the door open and saw In-ho walking towards the kitchen, his expression unreadable though his head tilted when he saw what you were doing. He sighed. “You should’ve just left them at the table. The guards will take care of them.”

“You let the guards wash your dishes?” You chuckled bitterly. “Pathetic.”

You patted your hands down to dry them and proceeded to walk past In-ho, only for him to grab your shoulder— the one he didn’t shoot. His grip on you tightened but you didn’t let him show it hurt a bit. You only let out a bitter laugh. “What, isn’t one shoulder enough for you?”

You felt In-ho’s body stiffen, then he let go of his grip. He looked at you and took a deep breath. “Get ready in ten minutes. The limo’s waiting.”

You rolled your eyes and walked towards the room. You proceeded to go to the bathroom, letting your thoughts drain in the shower as the warm water embraced your body, finding comfort and somewhat relaxation in a place like this. When you were done, you proceeded to grab your clothes, sighing in relief as you looked at yourself in the mirror, feeling your life getting back to normal piece by piece.

The drive to Seoul was cloaked in silence. Inside the limousine, the air was thick and heavy with unspoken words. In-ho sat across from you, the smooth leather seat beneath you offering little comfort against the turbulence within. The city lights flickered through the tinted windows, painting fleeting shadows over this face.

“Three days,” In-ho said, his voice measured and controlled. As if he was saying it out loud cemented the fact that he was letting you go, even if it was temporary.

Now, in the quiet of the moving car, his presence loomed, filling the space even without words. The scent of him— clean and crisp with a faint trace of cologne — lingered in the air, a cruel reminder of the closeness you once cherished. His posture was composed, one arm resting on the divider, fingers drumming absentmindedly. But his eyes, dark and piercing, were trained on the passing streets, lost in thought.

Or maybe lost in you.

Your hands curled into your lap. The cityscape outside blurred, and for the first time in a while, you felt the weight of freedom pressing against your chest.

Freedom. If it could even be called that.

The limousine slowed to a stop in front of your apartment. You hesitated, fingers grazing the handle, but before you could move, his voice cut through the silence.

“Three days,” In-ho repeated, softer this time. You turned to him, meeting his gaze. It wasn’t a demand but a quiet plea buried beneath his usual coldness.

You gave him a small nod, glancing at his lips, resisting the urge to place yours. You averted your gaze when he seemed to notice. Then, without looking back, you stepped out into the cold air. 

The limousine lingered behind you as you walked toward your apartment. Even without seeing him, you could feel his eyes on you. But by the time you reached the door and turned around, the car was already gone.

It was only when you stepped inside your apartment, exhaling the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, that you felt something crinkle in your coat pocket. Frowning, you reached inside and pulled out a card.

An address.

It wasn’t his handwriting, but you knew who had left it.

Something in you whispered that you shouldn’t go. That you should ignore it, shut your door, and pretend it didn’t exist. But before you could talk yourself out of it, your feet were already moving.

The taxi ride felt long, anticipation and unease twisting together in your chest. But the moment you arrived, standing at the threshold of the dimly lit apartment, the truth settled deep into your bones.

Why did he have to bring you into this place?

You entered the place, finding the unit number placed on the card. To your surprise, it was already unlocked, as if the place was expecting you. You turned the doorknob and revealed a small studio apartment, enough for only one person to live in it. The bed was already there and a desk.

You stepped inside hesitantly, taking in the stillness, the carefully arranged furniture, the faint scent of familiarity that clung to the air. You checked the desk and saw an old fish— already dead, floating on the water. Books were lined and arranged properly.

Then, your eyes caught a familiar black box wrapped in a pink bow.

The same box where the dead players were placed after they were killed.

This was In-ho’s place.

The one he had after winning the games.

It was strange. For a man who had spent so much time trying to sever himself from the past, he had still left a door open. And now, you had walked through it.

Before you could fully process it, a voice came from behind you, soft but laced with shock. Your blood ran cold, your heart pounding as you heard him.

“Noona?”

——

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A/N: Okay, so it's around 5am in where I live and I need to sleep. I wanted to update two chapters today to make up for the lost times I had to update, aside from the fact that I wrote a pretty long one. 😭 Anyway, feel free to leave out your thoughts here, and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. 🫶

Don't forget to leave a comment in this post to be tagged in the next chapter! ✨

TAGS: @machipyun @love-leez @enzosluvr @amber-content @kandierteveilchen @butterfly-lover @1nterstellarcha0s @squidgame-lover001 @risingwithtriples @fries11 @follows-the-life-ahead @goingmerry69 @plague-cure (p.s. if i forget to you, please let me know)

Characters of Metal Gear Solid V [X]

“this is for soap…" 

are you on ao3?

Hey there! Yes, I am on AO3. I've posted my first oneshot (my favorite crime) there and my current series (once you go in, there's no turning back). I also posted my series on Wattpad. 😅

Honestly, even though I've been writing fanfics since I was younger, I've never created an AO3 account. It's all because of Hwang In-ho — the effect of this character on me is soooo 🤩 I fear.

Inside the deck quarters.

CHAPTER 01 - once you go in, there's no turning back. (hwang in ho x reader)

masterlist | next chapter

----

The sound of baggages rolled to the floor as the familiar smell of Seoul brings you in. You were at the airport, waiting for your suitcase in the baggage claiming platform.

This time, you plan to stay in Seoul for good. You've been away to the country for work, having to work multiple roles in marketing. You felt like you were dominating the world at your hands. Money was never a problem for you, in fact, you could even buy a house in Seoul in just a snap.

For the past years, you kept your studio apartment in Chunghyeon-dong so you could have a place to stay whenever you go back there. In front of your apartment lives the Hwang brothers, In-ho and Jun-ho. You and Jun-ho grew up together, treating him like your little brother. Back then, Jun-ho had a weaker state of health, so playing with him involved a lot of adjustments to his strength. You would look after Jun-ho whenever their parents were away. In those moments, you remember how you and In-ho would share little memories together whenever Jun-ho was taking his afternoon naps. Both of you would watch cartoons on TV, making sure to lower the volume to not wake Jun-ho up.

"Got your nose!" In-ho touched your nose and hid his thumb under his index finger. Being the kid you were, your naivety strikes in. You furrowed your eyebrows and let out a grunt.

"Give it back, oppa!" You said as you try to get his hand, only for him to reach his hand higher, making it harder for you to reach. You grunted as you jumped, trying to reach it. In-ho sticks out his tongue to you as you pull a tantrum.

"Quiet down, Y/N," In-ho said as he dropped his hand to cover your mouth, calming you down. You remember Jun-ho sleeping on the other room. Still, you gave In-ho a glare as he removed his hand. He motions his hand to your nose, giving it a small snap. "Here's your nose back, silly."

You touched your face, playing with the tip of your nose. You stick out your tongue to In-ho to which he only chuckled, putting his hand all over your hair as he messed it up. He grabbed a bag of chips on the table, offering you some. You accepted and turned your attention to the TV. The guy character proposes to his girlfriend, offering her a ring as he gets down on one knee. You gave it a confusing look, not fully understanding the concept of it yet. "Why do they have to kneel when asking to marry someone, oppa?"

In-ho puts his hand on his chin as if to think. He looks up as if there was a thought bubble on the side of his head. "I don't know. Maybe to make it more interesting?"

"Anyone can do that?" You asked, gluing your eyes to the TV as you watched how the girl says yes, wearing the ring on her finger. "You kneel and ask someone to marry you, then that's it?"

In-ho chuckled. "No, silly. Appa says they have weddings."

"Oh," you said, chuckling to yourself. "She looks so happy. Will that make me happy in the future, do you think, oppa?"

In-ho looked at you for a minute, then his face brightened up. In-ho grabbed a piece of paper in one of the notes beside the telephone and a pen. He began to write something on it. Then, he folded the paper into a strip. He looks at you and says, "Give me your hand." You give him yours as he touches your left ring finger, folding the paper around it and twists the end until it fits perfectly. "Does it make you happy then?"

You bring your hand closer to your eye, observing it. Its texture glided through the sides of your finger and you look at In-ho confusingly. "A paper ring?"

"Well, I don't have the real one!" In-ho laughed, earning a laugh from you as well. "Those rings may cost a fortune, it's a privilege you get to have one from me."

You scoffed playfully then looked at the TV, seeing the guy holding flowers as he gave it to the girl. You turned to In-ho again, "Oppa, you don't have flowers."

He thinned his lips and glanced around the living room, looking for something as near as a flower. His eyes stopped at a flower vase placed on top of the kitchen counter. He hurriedly walks over there, picks one up, and returns to you with the flower at hand. He reaches it to you, but you shook your head, much to his confusion. "What, I thought you wanted a flower?"

"That's not how he gave it," you pointed out to the TV to which he looked, seeing the guy hiding the flower from the back first then handing it to the girl, much to the girl's surprise.

In-ho rolled his eyes and sighed. Still, he stood straight and held the flower behind him. Then with a smile, he hands the flower to you. "Happy?"

You ignored his question, too happy to get the flower from his hand. It was a small daisy, holding it on your finger as you giggled. You looked up to In-ho, seeing him smile as he watched you. You stood up and gave him a hug, the flower still on your hand as you kept the paper ring on your finger. "Thank you, In-ho oppa."

You wondered what happened to the brothers as you were apart from them for a long time. You left Seoul when you were nine years old. You remember crying during your last night at the apartment as you never wanted to leave. You just wanted to stay there and be with Jun-ho and In-ho, but you had to move to the US with your family as your appa accepted a job offer there. They wanted you to also be immersed with other cultures as well to give you a lot of advantage to the real world. It wasn't an easy journey as you faced racism in the country, but eventually blended in as years pass by. To your sadness, Jun-ho and In-ho weren't able to go with you to the airport to bid their goodbyes, but you chose to understand. Their family was going through a tough time, especially that Jun-ho has been very ill lately. Instead, you left them both a letter and slipped it at the bottom of their gate, hopefully either of them will be able to read it.

You grabbed your suitcase from the platform and walked through the airport down to the exit, the familiar scent of Seoul coming right at you as you stepped outside. You let out a deep breath and embraced the environment, letting the familiarity run through your body and let out a small smile. You were back home, and you couldn't wait to go back to your apartment.

You held out your hand as you hailed a taxi cab. First thing to do when in Seoul - eat instant noodles in a convenience store. You still remember the store near your apartment, feeling your insides growl as you thought about the taste of kimchi ramen. It's been a long time since you've had one, as the US were more keen on anything fried chicken, fries, and pizza. You missed the taste of kimchi, the one fresh from Korea that you preferred than those in the US.

As you arrived at the convenience store, you thanked the driver and handed out your fare, bowing before exiting the cab. You grabbed your suitcase with you, looking back at the driver to give him another bow. He drove off as you entered the store, the cold breeze of the store hugging you in. Immediately, you grabbed a small basket and filled it with the kimchi ramen instant noodles, kimchi, and a soda.

You settled on your meal as you happily blow out the noodles with your chopsticks, savoring it to your mouth. You let out a small moan, missing the taste of ramen. You looked out the window as you stared into space, thinking of the life you had in here before moving to the US. Though it has been a long time since then, the memories still clung to you realizing the fact that you're back home.

You wondered how In-ho and Jun-ho has been doing. You haven't talked to them in a long time. You don't even know how they look like now as the friendship kind of drifted away because of the distance. Though you could remember how you guys looked like when you were young, but that was it. You kept the paper ring that In-ho made for you on your wallet. You didn't want to forget the friendship or let it die. At least in this way, you still had proof of the amazing friendship you had with the brothers, especially with In-ho.

You remember how In-ho always managed to do something for you. You didn't have to ask, he would simply do it just because. Though you were too young to experience what real love was, but looking back, you realize how both of you were able to experience a genuine, innocent puppy love. You chuckled to yourself as you remember how In-ho always lost when playing paengi chigi. You taught him how to do so, always making sure that he played with his left hand. He wanted to impress you with the ability of doing it with both hands, but you only teased him whenever he tries to do it with his right hand.

Gong-gi was expected to be played by girls a lot, and you always wondered why that's the case. You always sucked at gong-gi, but boy, In-ho was one hell of an expert when playing it. You were more familiar with paengi chigi. In return, In-ho would teach you how to play it. It was odd how both of you always practiced playing these games as if you were competing in an olympic game, but you enjoyed spending time with In-ho. He seemed like he did to.

"Do you think they have an olympics for paengi chigi and gong-gi?" In-ho wondered, rolling the rope all over the top.

"I'm not sure," you shrugged. "But that would be interesting!"

"Let's team up when we get the chance then," In-ho grabbed the top and threw it on the ground, holding it back to make it spin. The top spun around perfectly, earning a smirk from In-ho. You jumped happily, looking as the top perfectly spun on the ground. You see In-ho adjusting his black glasses as he smiled. "You promise to team up with me?" He held out his pinky finger to you, gesturing a promise.

You grinned as you wrapped yours with his, a promise officially made. "I promise!"

A man with a backpack knocks on the window in front of you, snapping you away from your thoughts. You look at him and he waves, earning a confused look from you. You wave reluctantly and sees him rushing to the door, entering the store.

"Noona!" The man called out as he placed his backpack on the table beside you and excitedly sat on the chair next to you. "It's been so long!"

Noona? You remember only one person ever called you that throughout your stay in Seoul.

Your eyes widened upon the realization and felt tears forming in your eyes. You held your arms wide as a motion for a hug. "Jun-ho!" You motioned his body to hug you, wrapping your arms around him tightly. "Oh my, look how you've grown!"

"I missed you so much, noona. Since when did you come back? A lot has changed here since you left," you hear Jun-ho sniff, pulling back from you as he wipe his tears. You gave him a comforting smile. You gestured to offer your ramen, but he politely declined.

"I just arrived an hour ago," you told him. "I'm staying for good. Besides, I missed you and In-ho so much!"

You saw Jun-ho's smile slowly fade, much to your confusion. Then as if he realized it, he regained his smile and nodded. You knew he was so happy to see you, having taken care of him when you were young when he was ill. You and Jun-ho catch up on lost times, updating each other on what happened after you left Seoul.

You put your hand in shock when you found out about In-ho. You couldn't imagine how In-ho handled his situation - his wife passing, drowned in debt, borrowing money only to be taken as a bribe, fired from his job. You always looked up to In-ho who became such a protective and loving brother to Jun-ho, only to be treated by life so harshly. You also found out In-ho missing for the past few years. Jun-ho averted your gaze as he mentioned it, earning a gut feeling from you that he was trying to hide something.

You didn't want to pry, but you couldn't help but feel concerned for In-ho. Maybe he left somewhere to clear his thoughts - it was understandable knowing about the things he had to endure. If anything, you know how Jun-ho cared for his older brother deeply. He mentioned joining the police force and being a detective because of In-ho, looking up to his old brother as an inspiration. In-ho, being the selfless person he is, donated his kidney to Jun-ho. You remembered how limited the time was for Jun-ho when playing outside - he was in constant care then. And now, seeing him all grown up and being the amazing person he is now, you can't help but shed a tear. You looked at him with a smile, telling him how proud you were of him.

"We got your letter," Jun-ho said as he grabbed his wallet from his backpack, picking up the letter that was hidden on the inside pocket. "I can't believe you didn't tell us that you had to leave, Y/N. How dare you leave without a prior notice." He pouted and you chuckled, pinching a bit of his cheek.

"I guess I've always sucked at goodbyes, huh?" You said as you take a sip of your soda. "I wish I was able to give you both a proper goodbye instead of writing a letter. For what it's worth, I kept the paper ring that In-ho gave me so I couldn't forget our friendship."

Jun-ho furrowed his eyebrows as if to think, then let out a sigh of relief. "So, that's what hyung has been saying..." You raised an eyebrow in confusion and he continued, "Hyung mentioned something about a paper ring. When we got your letter, he immediately ran out to your apartment in an attempt to at least find you. Too bad you already left. He was crying, noona."

You thinned your lips, imagining how In-ho must've felt when you left. You didn't think that you made such a big impact to In-ho as much as he did on you. The feeling has been mutual, and you couldn't quite believe that the feelings you had over the years were real. All this time, you thought it has all been one-sided.

"For some reason, he always requested to have daises in our house," Jun-ho continued. "I couldn't figure it out then. I asked eomma about it, and she said that hyung was experiencing his first heartbreak." He shook his head, chuckling as he did so. You listened intently as you feel butterflies fly around your stomach. "Eomma told him that if the time is right, he would see you again."

"I guess I have to work harder on finding him, hmm?" You said as you looked out the window. "I wonder how he met his wife. I'm sure she seemed lovely."

"No need to be jealous, noona," Jun-ho chuckled, earning an eye roll from you. "But it's true, she was lovely. In fact, she was a lot like you. You would've loved her."

You smiled, thinking how In-ho probably felt happy when he found someone for him. Though it's bittersweet how his wife passed, along with their unborn child. You hoped that in any way, In-ho was still doing fine. You wished for him to find the happiness he deserves, may it be not here in Seoul.

"Do you have any leads where In-ho is?" You asked Jun-ho, who seemed to flinch at your question. You shot him a confused look as he stared into space, but then he shook his head as if shaking away his thoughts.

"No," his lips twitched. If there was anything that you didn't forget over the years is how much of a bad liar the brothers were. You looked away, silence rushing between you and Jun-ho. There was something going on, but as you observed Jun-ho's eyes, guilt was evident right there and then. When you opened your mouth to say something, Jun-ho turned his eyes to your suitcase. "Noona, I can help you settle at home. Would you like that?" He excitedly grabs it and positions it next to him instead.

You grinned as you finished your ramen, quickly damping your mouth with a tissue as you finished. "Of course, Jun-ho. Let's go."

----

A/N: And finally, here it is! This is my first time writing a series on Tumblr. I'm planning on publishing this to AO3 as well as I see a lot (like really, A LOT) of In-ho fanfics, I couldn't miss out on it! I've written fanfics on Wattpad before on different fandoms so this isn't all new to me. Still, I hope you guys enjoy my writing! Feel free to leave out your thoughts and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. 🫶

Don't forget to leave a comment in this chapter to be tagged on to the next chapter. :)

masterlist | next chapter

i can’t get squid game out of my head but what if the end of season 3 is gi-hun successfully ending the games and it’s exposed to the world

but the twist is they expect the world to hate and wish for the system to be burnt down, only to be glorified by everyone thus, highlighting the true course of humanity

omG