“Or He Would Sleep In The Bathtub Or In The Closet, Beetled Up As Tight As He Was Able.”

i’m sorry but i can’t stop thinking about jude having to wear one of those wigs when he was training to be a lawyer.

me when “maybe he’s that grey cat that purrs everytime i reach my hand out to it”

auuuuuGHHHH the old man in Rome. Harold being so happy that Jude is recognized as his son by others even when they don't look anything alike, but the love is so clear and so vivid that people can just tell. Like when Harold was telling Liesl about adopting Jude and she can just tell how much he loves him that she says "You love him a lot" bc Harold loves so freely and so intensely and so unconditionally and his love shines out of him like warm rays of sun

And also the old man teasing Harold for being so plain but having such a beautiful wife and handsome son,,,,,,,,,,justice for Harold Stein

literally and the way harold and jude just fit, so well so that people think they’re biologically related. :(

cried about Jude St. Francis today will probably cry about him tomorrow

Hanya saying that sometimes people endure things from which they cannot recover continues to offend a lot of takes-posting individuals online who are committed to a bad faith analysis of anything they do not personally enjoy.

Her statement is descriptive, rather than prescriptive. It is not an assertion that at X point, it's no longer possible to recover from traumatic experiences. It describes the fact that some people, for whatever reason(s), cannot or do not "get over" traumatic experiences and are affected by them for their whole lives. She didn't make that up. It's not a pleasant reality, but it is true!

And the intensity of people's reactions to A Little Life leads me to wonder: would any depiction of that reality in fiction would be palatable to those readers?

woah careful now. you might end up getting an order from a law professor for bacteria cookies for his wife

okay but getting to see the real bacteria cookies was awesome

october 22, 2023

I just read the first chapter of the “axiom of equality” part of a little life and dude I’m really reconsidering the way I view life as a whole.

x=x, yes Jude, I feel you so fucking much, all my life I felt like I wouldn’t surpass this feeling of being wrong, the wrongdoings of my childhood, my mistakes and mistakes of others done to me haunt me every single moment of my days, maybe If I were funnier, maybe I if worked on my weight a little harder it would disappear, what did I do to deserve so much hate from others as a kid? to experience the heavy bullying? why should it stain my memory like a wine stained carpet? (you get used to it but it’s never really clean, this metaphor worked in my head so please bear with it). and Caleb, man I’ve met so many fucking Calebs in my life, people i trusted at first sight, thought it could work just to be utterly disappointed at the outcome.

“you’re not your past”, easier said than done.

it’s 3:15 a.m where I live as i’m writing this and I doubt i’ll be able to afford a good night of sleep due the mental state i find myself in. I haven’t cried once while reading this book, maybe it’s because I see so much of myself in these characters that I’m just perplexed and angry, at myself, at others who made me feel like a complete piece of shit my whole life, at the JB’s, cause we all have that one friend that, at some point, made fun of our insecurities and left us feeling like garbage.

read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara, i promise it’ll change you and the way you interpret life and others (and i haven’t even finished it yet)

I think Harold and Julia were the last to strike me as folks who would have Boston accents, which is why the thought of the two having a boston accent is so funny. Even if it were mild, appearing only in specific phrases or emotional states; amidst an argument at Harold's dinners, ect.

Now -- would I imagine Jude, Willem, ( ect ) have New York-based accents in general? Probably not. Maybe I could see it in Willem amidst things such as road rage, busy streets, ect; though, really, I could only see it wholly when it comes to Andy. So on, so forth.

june 12 today. i wish jude knew how loved he really was

THIS IS TAKING ME OUUUUTTTT

Harold in Lispenard II