I Just Cried So Hard I Was Screaming On The Floor Time To Read Lispenard Street Pt 2 To Feel Worse !

someone said that they miss Jude, but I don't miss him I take him everywhere I go, I let him wander in my mind all the time, it's like I have him with me in some form or the another everywhere

a little life convinced me not to kill myself ackshually

I'm literally so obsessed with people shitting on A Little Life. Have I read that shit? Hell no. Am I fascinated that someone would write a book with the thesis of 'kill yourself'? Hell yes.

quote that blasted me across the room first time I read it

*spends time with friends* this is just like a little life!

*cooks a meal* this is just like a little life!

*hosts a house party* this is just like a little life!

*goes to college* this is just like a little life!

*has a trauma flashback* this is just like a li

he missed his brother 💔💔💔 NO NO NO NO

JB talking about Jude

It just downed on me that Jude died in the summer.

“Jude’s season”

thought about jude today, thought about jude yesterday and i will absolutely be thinking about jude tomorrow

october 22, 2023

I just read the first chapter of the “axiom of equality” part of a little life and dude I’m really reconsidering the way I view life as a whole.

x=x, yes Jude, I feel you so fucking much, all my life I felt like I wouldn’t surpass this feeling of being wrong, the wrongdoings of my childhood, my mistakes and mistakes of others done to me haunt me every single moment of my days, maybe If I were funnier, maybe I if worked on my weight a little harder it would disappear, what did I do to deserve so much hate from others as a kid? to experience the heavy bullying? why should it stain my memory like a wine stained carpet? (you get used to it but it’s never really clean, this metaphor worked in my head so please bear with it). and Caleb, man I’ve met so many fucking Calebs in my life, people i trusted at first sight, thought it could work just to be utterly disappointed at the outcome.

“you’re not your past”, easier said than done.

it’s 3:15 a.m where I live as i’m writing this and I doubt i’ll be able to afford a good night of sleep due the mental state i find myself in. I haven’t cried once while reading this book, maybe it’s because I see so much of myself in these characters that I’m just perplexed and angry, at myself, at others who made me feel like a complete piece of shit my whole life, at the JB’s, cause we all have that one friend that, at some point, made fun of our insecurities and left us feeling like garbage.

read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara, i promise it’ll change you and the way you interpret life and others (and i haven’t even finished it yet)

everyday i get more and more like jude (pls help)