But As Much As He Fears Sex, He Also Wants To Be Touched, He Wants To Feel Someone Else’s Hands On

jude wanted to be ordinary more than anything but was not

jb wanted to be special like jude more than anything, this made him ordinary

willem did not care about being either, and ended up very famous

malcolm didn’t care about being either, and settled for a quiet life

i lowkey missed it the first time because it’s in the background of willem and malcom’s conversation abt jude’s long sleeves but

can we please talk abt jb and jude coming back from a nice beach walk and deciding to and i quote ‘fling sand at each other’ before jb drunkenly collapses and jude decides, apparently without any warning or discussion, to bury him up to his waist in the sand while jb lies there singing

what could be better than this just guys being dudes!!!!

i just cried so hard i was screaming on the floor time to read lispenard street pt 2 to feel worse !

Friendly reminder that this is how Andy and Jude greet each other every time 💜

“a little life is ableist”

SHUT UP SHUT IP

as a disabled person when i read “people who had been made disabled felt they had been robbed of something” i had to put the fucking book down and recollect BECAUSE HANYA GOT IT SO CORRECT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

october 22, 2023

I just read the first chapter of the “axiom of equality” part of a little life and dude I’m really reconsidering the way I view life as a whole.

x=x, yes Jude, I feel you so fucking much, all my life I felt like I wouldn’t surpass this feeling of being wrong, the wrongdoings of my childhood, my mistakes and mistakes of others done to me haunt me every single moment of my days, maybe If I were funnier, maybe I if worked on my weight a little harder it would disappear, what did I do to deserve so much hate from others as a kid? to experience the heavy bullying? why should it stain my memory like a wine stained carpet? (you get used to it but it’s never really clean, this metaphor worked in my head so please bear with it). and Caleb, man I’ve met so many fucking Calebs in my life, people i trusted at first sight, thought it could work just to be utterly disappointed at the outcome.

“you’re not your past”, easier said than done.

it’s 3:15 a.m where I live as i’m writing this and I doubt i’ll be able to afford a good night of sleep due the mental state i find myself in. I haven’t cried once while reading this book, maybe it’s because I see so much of myself in these characters that I’m just perplexed and angry, at myself, at others who made me feel like a complete piece of shit my whole life, at the JB’s, cause we all have that one friend that, at some point, made fun of our insecurities and left us feeling like garbage.

read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara, i promise it’ll change you and the way you interpret life and others (and i haven’t even finished it yet)

i feel like willem would LOVE christmas

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.”

i am so fucking high and i can’t stop thinking about jude st francis