The Hip Holes Are Just Very Kate Bishop [x]

🔺♦️❄️An old one i made once❄️♦️🔺

So I've finally finished Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and not only did I enjoy the last three seasons way more than I thought I would, but I was not prepared for how delightfully unhinged the show became. Some of my favourite plot points included:

The female protagonist has a long-lost sister with superpowers who becomes the key to the entire crew returning to their original timeline through the Quantum Realm. Said long-lost sister is not introduced or even hinted at until the last five episodes of the entire show.

Half of one season takes place in a dystopian 2091 where the young twenty-something scientist couple not only meet their grandson who is the same age as them but said grandson returns to the present, becomes a series regular, and calls them "Nana" and "Bobo" in some Once Upon A Time worthy family tree shenanigans. Oh he also gets stuck in the 80s and claims he wrote Don't You (Forget About Me)

Phil Coulson dies in Season 5 because in order to stop an evil AI -turned-human-turned evil because she got dumped by a small Scottish man he has to become Ghostrider. The entire season builds up to this in a way that makes it feel very much like the actor is stepping away from the show and retiring the character, only for them to cast Clarke Gregg as an evil deity from another dimension in Season 6 and as a Life Model Decoy that may as well just be Phil Coulson in Season 7

Patton Oswalt plays multiple identical characters who all work for SHIELD. This is never fully explained.

“Mata Hari Calamari”

The final season is a decade-hopping gimmick with matching genre episodes that beat WandaVision to the punch

One character is a robot anthropologist who just wants to be best friends with the same small Scottish man. He has canonically been trained to perform in alien brothels and eventually becomes a bartender in the Crazy Canoe in 1955. He is one of the absolute best parts of the show.

One plot line follows said same Scottish Man and robot anthropologist as they get stranded in outer space with their only way home being to gamble in an alien casino while their friends attempt to rescue them but accidentally take LSD instead

"I found that bluffing was much easier if you kill someone and take their skin."

Area 51 is canonically a SHIELD base

“Everybody makes sacrifices for this lifestyle, Mr. Sam.” Peter says solemnly.

Sam gapes at him. “Sacrifices? I was an international fugitive for this ‘lifestyle’. I was on the run for months for this ‘lifestyle’. The Winter f-ing Soldier drop-kicked me off a helicarrier! Your underdeveloped teenage brain has no idea what I’ve put up with for this ‘lifestyle’!"

“Great, so a bunny shouldn’t be too much work!”

Thor, post-coronation: heimdall you have committed treason quite frequently

Heimdall: yes, my king

Thor: can I trust you to commit treason against me should it become necessary?

Heimdall: of course, my king

Thor: you’re already planning treason, aren’t you

Heimdall: it’s how our government stays functioning

Thor: good, good. Well, don’t let me stop you, just make sure to surprise me when it happens

Thor adding a strand of Steve’s hair to Bucky’s

See, people who kidnapped Spider-man typically ran up against a problem, eventually- how do you keep him down?

The thing that far too many people know about Spider-man is that he heals fast. Like, really fast. Videos of him taking hits that kill a normal person are everywhere on the internet. Even when he gets hurt, hurt bad, he’s back in the suit within a week. He can take a hit and he can hit back. His well-documented super-strength quickly rends most restraints to shattered pieces. So how do you keep him off his game? How do you keep him?

There’s one thing that everyone needs- mutant, enhanced, basic bitch human- and that’s sleep.

When a piece of media's title consists of the names of its two leads, I feel like it makes a difference whether those names are conjoined with an ampersand, or whether they write out "and" in full. "A & B" versus "A and B" – these are fundamentally different species.

Seven years after, I see you again 😚